I turn 30 tomorrow and I’m more disappointed than you · 4:22am Nov 28th, 2018
I have nothing.
That’s the scariest admission. I tried so hard to have something. Anything. But drafts aren’t up to par. Ideas aren’t flowing. In spite of the fact that I gave myself so much time, I feel like I squandered it. And then I feel like that is the perfect living metaphor for my whole life up to this point. I’ve had so much time to make something of myself and I just haven’t. I haven’t put in the work.
I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry for anyone who ever believed in anything that I’ve written. I’ve let you down. I wanted to give you something and I can’t. I know it was a self-imposed deadline and this isn’t the first time I’ve failed to meet one of those, but that just makes me feel worse. It’s a pattern now, I guess.
This birthday is hitting me pretty hard. Which sounds ridiculous, even to me, but I can’t be rational about it right now. I’m going to log out and think about things. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I’m so sorry.
Coming from someone who has also for a long time failed to do anthing with their life, I understand what you're going through.
So just know that when you get back, you have at least one shoulder I can offer for your support.
I know that feel.
Don't forget your successes.
I don't want to say much more, I'm afraid it will sound pithy, trite, or you probably have already heard most of what I can say.
It's okay to mourn your current position, just don't stay in mourning. Remember what you want, and especially what held you back. Use this as motivation to make the right choices next time..
And I'm done... Because I'm also putting this into practice. Its self-discipline, and it's hard, but we can do hard things.
I don’t care about the lack of stories, I care about how you’ve been doing, which is not that good.
Take care of yourself, TAM.
I don't give a fuck about the lack of stories, what I do care about is how you've been doing and know that you've got a shoulder for support TAM.
Welcome to the 30s club. It is a wonderful place to be. A lot of folks view it as "starting towards the end" but I found it was when I hit my stride. Look at this as an opportunity. You hit a new multiple of ten! Turn this one into a great one.
I know you pretty well and I know you're an amazing person. You are going to do wonderful things. Not getting out a fan fiction isn't something to worry about. You're loved regardless!
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Thank you all for your messages❣️I’m going to figure this out and hopefully get back on the horse again, pardon the phrase.