Friendship is Card Games: Guardians of Harmony (2017 Annual) · 1:05pm Nov 25th, 2018
Appropriately enough for a post between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, we’re focusing on one of the most blatantly toyetic parts of this generation of pony, the Guardians of Harmony mini-mini-series. Which is to say a short series of short stories; there are six of them and each is only eight pages long. Between that and how they come together into a single storyline, I’ll be doing all of them in a single blog.
Issue #1: Shadowbolts
This does feel rather like a ploy on Fluttershy’s part to spend more time with Dash, especially with that foreleg over her withers and the later grousing.
Why is Applejack on exposition duty, anyway? And why aren’t the rest of the Bearers following Dash to the action? Protagonist obligations normally drag them to this sort of thing.
Also, really weird to read this a week after Spitfire asserted that Wonderbolts are performers, not warriors. Definite dracophobia on her part.
Going by that 221B on the wall, Fluttershy’s harboring some manner of great mouse detective.
The visual effects of the Shadowbolts materializing are quite cool… though they don’t make much sense given that they’re just changelings. Nor do a few other things…
Ah. Applejack isn’t the only one on exposition duty, I see.
I do like seeing Dash confronting conflicting loyalties… but the implication that her friends can’t handle two rogue pegasi is kind of insulting. Even for Dash’s ego, that’s a bit of a stretch.
Heh. I do like the visual “light off the tooth” effect.
Ah, yes, the time-honored method of explaining your mission to the target. And is the implication that the Wonderbolts were waiting for Dash and thus were delayed, or woulds they have not made it even if she’d gotten there? It’s all rather confused.
And, of course, there’s the question of how the changelings even knew about the Shadowbolts. I suppose spies in Ponyville might have reported about Dash’s Nightmare Night costume from “Luna Eclipsed,” but that may give Chrysalis too much credit in terms of practical cunning.
Issue #2: Pinkie Pie
After Boneless XVII, the sentimental value of each chicken started to drop.
Ooh, a Cheese Sandwich surprise party for Pinkie… but did she also move to Ponyville on her birthday? If not, what’s the anniversary part of the celebration commemorating?
So… Applejack heard about the latest changeling invasion before Twilight did. What the actual what?
Tempting as it is to lay the blame on editorial mandate, both party ponies knowing Bonbon’s true name raises some fascinating questions. Did Cheese do some mercenary work for S.M.I.L.E. in his wanderings? Does Pinkie have access to classified documents as a Bearer, or are Bonbon’s employment history and previous aliases just part of her dossier file along with her favorite cupcake flavor?
Heh. The downside of party magic: Sometimes you miss blatantly obvious things in order to follow through on the joke.
Way to keep the original gagged, guys.
Seriously, why would Cheese be surprised by the marksmareship of his party pony idol?
Always wonderful to see these two team up, whether in war or peace. Plus, this is one of the more graceful included toys. If anything, I’m surprised Cheese didn’t bring something higher caliber.
Issue #3: Shining Armor
Nothing seems to actually be burning. Where’s all that smoke coming from? Or is this opening panel following RTS logic, with structures slowly undergoing spontaneous combustion as they get damaged?
At least let him actually do some commanding, Cadence. Also, kudos to Shining for wanting to actually, you know, do something as his kingdom is under siege.
(That said, she does have a point. Running horn first towards trouble didn’t end well against Sombra, after all.)
Kind of funny to see a Fantastic Beasts reference given what’s currently in theaters.
Ah. I see Shining works best with the Pinkie Pie school of studying: Throw all the books in a pile and trust the plot providence to guide your hoof to the right one.
I still don’t buy that Amore created the Crystal Heart. I do buy that she sealed away a bunch of magical superweapons that she didn’t trust anyone else with. I’m surprised the knowledge was widespread enough to make it into a book.
Huh. Can Shining use dark magic, or did they just install a trapdoor for when they need to access the castle’s catacombs after Sombra’s resurrection?
I have no idea how Shining’s getting a two thousand year estimate. After all, Sombra was sealed slightly more than a millennium ago, and I would hope Amore kept up her secret arsenal between creating it and getting petri-sploded.
That is an amazingly flimsy justification for Fluttershy being down there. Of course, the spell is pulling from Shining’s memories to create her, and he probably doesn’t know her very well.
Shining is such a paladin. Fortunately, he lives in a world where it’s feasible to save everyone.
Ah, AI-more. For some fascinating work with her, see Skywriter’s Guardian.
Great. The test of worth still works, but almost nothing it was protecting is intact. Though, to be fair, that’s arguably preferable to the alternative.
Issue #4: Twilight Sparkle
Welp, looks like Bonbon would lose that test of worth, given how she ignores a group of five threatened ponies to “rescue” one who suspiciously isn’t being threatened by the changelings everywhere. Of course, it is her BEST FRIEND, so what can you do?
Fascinating and kind of silly to see the changeling pull on the emotional bond between Lyra and Bonbon for all its worth. Bonnie’s clearly getting drained by more than emotional gut punches, and the limited timeframe means that the changeling is both going for the most basic blows it can think of and is willing to flay this particular sheep rather than shear her.
Also, there’s a beautiful irony in Lyra being the changeling this time.
I love how absolutely no one knows what to make of the Friendship Action Harp. Sadly, the toyline does not contain any Friendship Agent Lyra with Lyre-Chucking Action. (And seriously, I can imagine the derision of a thousand Lyras at her signature instrument getting misidentified by one of their own.)
Only bosses let you monologue, Twilight. With the grunts, it’s zap first, lecture later.
“But I threw it extra hard. Because friendship.” Calling a lyre a harp or not, Lyra is a delight in this comic.
Bit of a flub in one panel; Lyra should be complimenting Bonbon’s mane, given how the changeling accosted her.
Huh. So this is what the “Twilight and Twilight at Twilight’s castle” mission was supposed to be.
“It’s pointing to the top of the castle.” … How can you tell?
I do appreciate the implication that Sparkalon can canonically grow new rooms and shift its structure. Which she probably still does to Starlight at night now and again. Also, add another alphabet to ponykind: Vertical Squiggle.
So, precisely which challenges did Ponyville’s favorite couple face together? That’s a story in and of itself. And one that’s been told in numerous variations on this site. Heck, I’ve already linked Mendacity. 
While I do like the cutie mark banners—which the castle made itself, apparently—the Armor of Friendship… Well, the nicest thing I can say is that it’s a noble attempt to justify a ridiculous looking toy. The Giant Tongs of Harmony are sadly never going to look cool. Though I do appreciate how Spike gets a spear to go with it, and Twilight getting hipposandals of her own is nice. She hasn’t had a pair since her coronation.
I do love how the plaque gave up on the “vague prophecy” thing and just switched to reassuring Twilight. Any more self-doubt and a new one with far less polite language probably would’ve sprouted up like a mushroom.
Andy Price was a changeling the whole time!
Issue #5: Wonderbolts
Now we get to one of the more curious choices for this series: Having Fosgitt do the art for both issues of the climax. Because that’s definitely who you want to sell your big fight scenes. 
And we have an issue on the very first panel. Unless those are meant to be snowflakes or tiny, pointlike clouds, the stars and sun are out at the same time. Jay Fosgitt does not know how the sun works.
Nice to see the diarchs at least say they’re going to do something.
The Crystal Empire has no air support. Never mind the pegasi we saw in Shining Armor’s comic, or the couple who can canonically project a changeling repelling shield the size of a city that could toss the things into the Arctic wastes. No air support.
Okay, so the stalling tactic with Rainbow Dash was basically pointless, assuming she’d fly with the group. As far as the changelings and even most of the ‘Bolts know, they have no way of making it to the Crystal Empire in time. (And, of course, that’s assuming real-time communication; for all they know, the Empire’s defenses had fallen by the time that missive got to Canterlot. Maybe Cadence has a quantum journal like Sunset’s. It would actually make a lot of sense.)
Okay, Fleetfoot being in uniform as she plays soccer with foals makes sense. But why are the other Wonderbolts already suited up when they’re napping, shopping, or inexplicably helping at the weather factory?
Still, credit where it’s due, at least he looked up the appearance of the background characters this time
Hi, Fluttershy. Bye, Fluttershy.
I do have to wonder how long it took to gather the whole team. Those “gliders” might have to hit hypersonic speed to make up for that time. And remember when I gave Fosgitt faint praise for basic competence? Yeah. He couldn’t make the glider look like the actual toy. You know, the toy that this comic exists to advertise. The man can’t even shill right.
On a less griping notye, experimental gliders that very well might explode? I didn’t know the Izzet League did contractor work for Equestria’s armed forces.
And by the last page, Fosgitt basically gave up. Gradient backgrounds and whole lot of bipedal punching. And he still has one more issue to cover.
Issue #6: Big Spike
Hey, that’s what it says in the annual’s table of contents.
… Okay, I’ll admit, Fosgitt’s design for the Armor of Friendship actually looks better than the toy… but we’ll get to that particular wrinkle in a bit.
You may mock Rarity for focusing on said armor rather than, you know, the changeling invasion, but she hasn’t actually shown up in this series yet. It’s possible she hadn’t realized the danger until now.
Huh. So the Crystal Empire invasion was just a feint? Hitting Ponyville instead doesn’t seem that wise. Indeed, invading any town you can literally see from the capital doesn’t seem wise without taking said capital first. This manages to make less sense than the wedding invasion, which is saying something.
So, the Wonderbolts need experimental, potentially explosive technology to get from central Equestria to the Crystal Empire in timely fashion. Shining just has to run. I’d say to get this stallion some wings, but he clearly doesn’t need them.
I’m not going to complain about the potion vial looking different. It’s possible the timescale for making these comics was such that Fleecs and Fosgitt couldn’t compare notes.
“I’m not sure we should use it.” “We need some kind of plot device!” “Well, okay.” Way to fill a few panels, guys.
Going by Twilight’s irises, that potion was the spice melange.
And now we get to the negative aspect of that higher quality armor design for Twilight. It isn’t Fosgitt’s. Now, given his general level of pony knowledge, it’s possible he thought the original was a piece of canon pony work, but clicking past the Google Image Search screen would’ve shown that no, you’re transparently stealing from a fan artist, shame on you.
Kudos to Spike for standing his ground. He’s as much a hero as any of the Mane Six.
“Take no prisoners”? Really? Chrysalis, the survival of your species depends on taking prisoners. There are evil queens, and then there are just bad ones.
At least giant Spike’s toy accurate.
Hmm. I know it’s a comic gag and I probably shouldn’t overthink it, but contrasting the apparent size limit on these changelings with the enormous war forms we’ve seen on the show makes me think this was an act of true desperation on Chrysalis’s part. That or the ancient magic included a certain je ne sais quoi that the changelings just couldn’t duplicate.
Also, it is a shame that wew’ve never gotten a chance to see Shining and Spike team up like this on the show. Ironically, we’ve seen more brotherly bonding from changelings.
As I feared, Fosgitt art takes the wind out of any dramatic sails, though even in the other issues, one can spot the logical holes that come from desperately spreading a narrative tarp over a bunch of contextless toy designs. The abrupt shift from the Crystal Empire to Ponyville at the end doesn’t help, though the attempts to get some degree of continuity and larger storylines are nice. In all, this can’t rise above its status as more of a toy commercial than usual, but there are still some fun moments and neat ideas on display.
On that note, let’s put that fun to use, including one that’s a patched version of one I made when the toyline was first announced.
Gather the Troops 3WW
Instant
Create three 1/1 white Pegasus creature tokens with flying.
Wonderbolts don’t go off duty until they retire.
Tireless Captain 4W
Creature — Unicorn Soldier
Vigilance
3W, T: Untap all other creatures you control.
”The grunts may complain about those marches through the snow, but I don’t make them do anything I don’t ask of myself.”
3/4
Archon of Friendship 4WW
Creature — Dragon Archon
Flying
When Archon of Friendship enters the battlefield, choose an opponent. If that player controls more creatures than you, create a number of 1/1 white Pegasus creature tokens with flying equal to the difference.
4/4
Small-Time Consultant 1U
Creature — Rat Advisor
Whenever you sacrifice a Clue, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.
Even those few creatures who dared break the truce of Fluttershy’s cottage stopped when the new tenant moved in.
1/1
Veiled Changelings 1U
Enchantment
When a nontoken creature enters the battlefield under an opponent’s control, if Veiled Changelings is an enchantment, it becomes a copy of that creature (and loses this ability).
Hungry changelings latch onto the first viable form they see. Then they transform into it.
Reroute Shipments 2UUU
Instant
If an artifact would enter the battlefield under an opponent’s control this turn, it enters the battlefield under your control instead.
”Hey, I just deliver to the address on the package.”
—Ditzy Doo
Ravages of Time 1B
Sorcery
Choose half the cards from target player’s graveyard, rounded up, then exile them.
Amore made sure the spells keeping her arsenal safe would be the last to fail.
Shadowbolt Secrets 1BB
Sorcery
Search your library for a card, shuffle your library, and put that card on top.
Raid — If you attacked with a creature this turn, put that card into your hand instead.
”Madness promises much, but never mentions the cost.”
—Princess Luna
Shadowbolt Sideswiper 3B
Creature — Nightmare Pegasus Warrior
Flying
Whenever Shadowbolt Sideswiper attacks, target creature defending player controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
A being wrought from shadowstuff has no pesky conscience to get in the way of causing mayhem.
2/2
Tendrils of Nightmare 3B
Sorcery
Surveil 2, then return up to two creature cards from your graveyard to your hand. (To surveil 2, look at the top two cards of your library, then put any number of them into your graveyard and the rest on top of your library in any order.)
Improvised Weaponry R
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant noncreature artifact
You can’t choose an Equipment as this spell’s target as you cast it.
Enchanted artifact is an Equipment in addition to its other types and has equip X and “Equipped creature gets +X/+0,” where X is its converted mana cost.
Chicken Launch 3R
Sorcery
Chicken Launch deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of targets, where X is the number of artifacts you control as you cast this spell.
”Precision fire’s easy. I can put a cherry on a sundae from the other side of Ponyville!”
—Pinkie, Bearer of Laughter
Dragonblood Infusion 2G
Instant
Target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn. If that creature is a Dragon, put three +1/+1 counters on it instead.
Princess Amore’s ancient spells never quite crossed the line to dark magic, but some came perilously close.
Crystal Beast 4G
Creature — Elemental Beast
Crystal Beast has hexproof as long as you control an enchantment.
Some parts of the Frozen North are so cold that magic crystallizes out of the air, forming both food and cover for exotic lifeforms.
4/5
Amore’s Armory 3
Artifact
2, T: Reveal the top card of your library. If it’s a noncreature, nonland card, put it into your hand. Otherwise, you may put it into your graveyard.
Princess Amore crafted untold wonders and horrors to defend her empire, sealing them where only the worthy might find them.
Prototype Glider 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +3/+0 and has flying, first strike and trample.
At the beginning of your end step, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, sacrifice equipped creature.
Equip 3
Industrial Celebrator 4
Artifact — Vehicle
Lifelink, trample
Crew 2 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 2 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
It’ll leave you smiling. Or else.
5/5
Imprinted Essence WB
Enchantment
When Imprinted Essence enters the battlefield, it becomes an Aura with enchant creature. Return target creature card from a graveyard to the battlefield under your control and attach Imprinted Essence to it. When Imprinted Essence leaves the battlefield, that creature’s controller sacrifices it.
Enchanted creature can’t attack or block.
Charging Expositor 1RG
Creature — Pony Scout
Haste
Whenever Charging Expositor deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.
She moves at the speed of rumor.
2/1
Ambush Duplicant 4WU
Creature — Shapeshifter
Flash
When Ambush Duplicant enters the battlefield, exile target creature an opponent controls until Ambush Duplicant leaves the battlefield. If you do, Ambush Duplicant becomes a copy of that creature.
2/2
Shining, Emperor-General 4RW
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Knight
Trample
Whenever Shining, Emperor-General attacks, attacking creatures gain indestructible until end of turn.
”Dragons redefine the tactical landscape, usually by incinerating it.”
5/4
Car games? So GTA is friendship?
4972699
Well, there's always Hijack...
(Fixed. Thanks.
)
4972700
I dunno, I think you shouldn’t have fixed it, it’s just begging to become a story title.
I will say this: Fosgitt is a super nice guy, and he did big awesome free sketches in the kids room at Ciderfest ‘17. I like his work and style as a supplement/side-interpretation to what we usually get.
I kinda wish he was a fan creator sometimes though, because I think he might have his own good-sized following without people getting as worked up about him.
I’m not blind to his “sins” as an artist for the main comic, though.
Me, reading the Pinkie and Cheese one: "Art's cute and their interactions are always the best... but I refuse to believe that Cheese would be a sitting duck for Pinkie to save instead of doing some wacky antic to free himself. Or that he'd just shoot them with a cannon instead of being a clever and creative fighter.
"Unless this hits a little too close to certain events in a certain fic of mine..."
I believe the correct wording would be "attacking creatures are indestructible until end of turn." IIRC indestructible was never keyworded, so permanents can't 'gain' it. Then again I've been out of the MTG loop since Innistrad >.<
What? Not gonna point out that Lyra is a part of SMILE too, an obvious reference to her and Bon Bon's book?
You usually catch these little continuity drive-bys.
4972709
I don't mean to harp on him; his work just gives a sense of indifference. Increasingly so as time goes on.
4972720
Yeah, Cheese getting the damsel in distress treatment was pretty lame. Really, just about anyone in this franchise getting sincerely DiD'd is aggravating. Though the cannoneering may be a result of the editors limiting how much on-panel violence the artists can actually show.
4972725
Sadly, you no longer recall correctly. Indestructible became a keyword in the 2014 Core Set.
4972740
That would require me to know anything about said book beyond the fact that it exists. Which, until now, I didn't.
4972709
Yeah, I kind of like his style in the right situations. Mainly lighter, more cutesy stories. Like the issue with Dash and Spitfire teaching at flight camp. I thought his style worked well there. But he was a terrible choice for this issue, especially for the particular parts he illustrated. Might have been ok for the Pinkie segment. But for the more serious final battle it was kind of jarring.
4972743
4972750
Yeah, I stop short of being a Fosgitt apologist because... like, I get it. Dude's got a wacky style. I enjoy it for the most part on individual characters, but I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. I think the thing we can all agree on, though, is that he could spend more time/attention on backgrounds.
All things being equal, I'd like to be a Fosgitt apologist.
I'd forgotten about this one, and about how disappointing it was. The Guardians of Harmony comic severely failed to live up to its potential. I know the toyline was kind of all over the place and that it can be hard to work within those constraints, but there were at least some cool concepts on display, like Shining Armor and giant Spike. But the story was just plain schizophrenic, full of plot-holes and continuity flubs, and unable to keep its focus. And letting Fosgitt anywhere near it was a mistake, let alone having him illustrate the climax with stolen fan designs. They couldn't have made a bigger mess of that if they'd tried.
I can't help but compare it to Siege of the Crystal Empire. They're both meant to be big epic action set-pieces starring a returning season finale villain from the show and a bunch of popular side characters, but they both fail to tell a satisfying story even with all that promise. Yet somehow, Guardians is even worse about it than Siege was, which is no mean feat. I think the only reason I'm not just as sour about this comic as I was about Siege is that it's harder to take Guardians seriously in the first place.