There was a Ninja, some woman with green hair named Gertrude, probably my sister Vengeance, and Lord Skywalker. You know. The one that likes to snorkle.) colabed on a story! I donked up! · 6:32pm Nov 20th, 2018
So, on further consideration of my last chapter, I realized I had a bit that didn't make sense within the MAD continuity. The main problem being this story takes place before Jerk-Ass, but I ended up completing that before this, got my wires crossed, and referenced something that happened there.
That something being Grogar.
I've already issued a correction to the latest chapter, so feel free to check out the slightly altered middle section if you're interested. The original is below for posterity.
“I am?” Starlight said in surprise. “Uh… Okay! Well, start panicking and hope maybe Tirek will have conquered Ponyville!” Starlight gasped in delight. “Or even Grogar if we’re lucky!”
“Uh, that’s not quite what I meant,” Sunset said.
Starlight frowned. “I think saving Equestria from Grogar would be pretty neat… He seemed pretty bad even by beings that willingly inhabit lands crafted out of pure malevolence standards.”
“No. I meant the part about a potentially cataclysmic event just popping up is not what I was talking about!” Sunset said. Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Also, how do you even have a metric for beings inhabiting lands of darkness and evil?”
Starlight opened her mouth.
“No, wait! I don’t want to know!” Sunset interrupted. She smiled once more. “The point is, I have saved Equestria as well as my new home! Now, if I can just swallow that convincing lie that my deep, unresolved emotional issues with those that I love are easier to deal with than life and death situations despite the fact that my courage always kicks in without fail during those moments and I do the right thing and save the day as if it’s core to my being, then I’ll be all set!”
Starlight immediately frowned. “When I saved Equestria, I hit a big throne made out of solid rock with a much smaller rock before I had to make up some talk about friendship to creatures that literally feed on love…”
“The important thing is you succeeded! And I’ve succeeded! So, let’s just keep on succeeding with a minimal amount of property damage!”
Starlight smiled widely. “I give myself the same pep-talk every morning! Well, with a little reminder about using mind control sparingly.”
“Right, going to just power right on past that one!” Sunset took another look at the door, horn glowing with her red aura before the light in the hallway went dim. Sunset looked up, feeling a sudden chill as she did. The castle was typically lit by sunlight during the day, but this felt different than the sun suddenly dropping. This darkness felt unnatural. Less the absence of light and more the destruction of it. It was as if some malevolent force was consuming the very concept of brightness itself.
Sunset sighed and hung her head. “Starlight, I appreciate the effort, but I really should stop dilly-dallying and just talk to my mom, already.”
“This isn’t me!” Starlight insisted with just a hint of indignity.
Sunset looked up at the darkness. “Wait… Don’t tell me there really is a threat to Equestria…”
One of the plates of a nearby massive window exploded with glass, feathers, and an orange pegasus stallion wearing golden armor with a blue plume and tumbled in a heap at Sunset and Starlight’s hooves.
“Oh, mom damnit!” Sunset blurted out indignantly.
Starlight gasped and bent down to help the pegasus back up to his hooves. “Flash!”
Sunset frowned. “Flash? As in… Flash Sentry?”
“Well, yeah!” Starlight said as she helped Flash to his hooves. “Who else would it be?”
“Starlight! Thank Celestia, I found you!”
“Why? Did she actually help?” Sunset asked somewhat sarcastically.
“What? No, I just need he—” Flash turned, taking off his helmet as he did. Giving his head a shake, his dark-blue tuft of a ruffled mane flowed in tiny waves in all directions as an, admittedly heroic-looking, trickle of blood dribbled down around his muzzle.
“Oh, no…” Sunset whispered to herself. “He’s hot…”
Flash, likewise, needed a moment as he laid eyes over Sunset and seemingly tried to take all of her in through his pupils. “—eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—”
“Hey! Flash, focus!” Starlight called out. “What happened to Twilight and Spike?! Also, Trixie if you happened to see her… and, uh… everypony else, probably.”
Flash turned back towards Starlight. “—elp! Uh, right! Some sort of dark portal opened in Ponyville!”
Sunset groaned. “Seriously?!”
Starlight turned towards Sunset. “Okay, you’re my witness! I was in Canterlot when that happened!”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Uh, obviously…”
Flash continued. “Some… some sort of horrible, dark… fanged goat thing has captured Twilight and the other Element Bearers in a terrible slime prison!” Flash involuntarily shuttered. “Just… so much slime…”
Starlight turned to Sunset, beaming smile on her face. “Yay!”
Sunset just groaned and rolled her eyes.
Flash coughed up an impressive glob of green goo. “Uh… I barely got out of there with my life?” he added.
“Okay, okay,” Sunset said in a begrudging tone. “Let’s quickly defeat Grogar and then we’ll see my mom!”
Starlight glanced at the doors to the throne room. “Don’t you think she’ll want to help?”
“No,” Sunset said bluntly.
“Uh… sorry,” Flash interjected as he extended a foreleg. “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced, Princess…?”
“Sunset Shimmer,” Sunset replied as she pressed her hoof against Flash’s. “Apparently, I’m Princess of Cleaning up Other Ponies’ Messes.”
With a sly smirk, Flash took a half-step forward and hooked his foreleg around Sunset’s. “Really? I would have guessed you were the Princess of Radiant Beauty.”
Sunset couldn’t help but match Flash’s smile. “Ah, so you’re quick-thinking in this universe too.”
“I’m not sure what that means, but I’ll take it as a compliment.”
Starlight frowned. “Uh… I can’t believe I’m the one saying this, but Ponyville, and Equestria probably, is in danger?”
Sunset and Flash, somewhat reluctantly, broke the foreleg link and eye contact.
“Okay, game faces on!” Sunset declared resolutely. “What can you tell me about Grogar?” she asked Starlight.
“Uh… he’s clearly evil, a goat, and likes to cover things in throat slime?”
Flash let out another harsh cough. “Can confirm,” he quipped.
Sunset nodded. “Alright. But do we have any idea of his weaknesses? I mean… how flammable is he?”
Starlight thought for a moment. “Well… he seems to be part vampire and part goat, so probably very?”
“Okay! I can work with that!” Sunset said excitedly.
The light around the ponies dimmed even further until everything was nearly pitch-black.
“I doubt that’s good…” Flash uttered as both Sunset and Starlight’s horns began to glow fiery red and electric blue, respectively, the dual colors casting the surrounding area in an eerie purple light.
Starlight just shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be fine as long as we get to Ponyville quickly.”
Flash smirked. “Don’t you mean—”
“—in a Flash?!” Sunset quickly interjected with a smile on her face.
“Ahh!” Flash uttered excitedly as he pointed to Sunset. “She knows my thing!”
Starlight’s face turned a lighter shade of purple as she looked between the other two ponies. “Wait… does this mean I have to play ‘straight pony’ for saving Equestria, again!?”
-ooo~ One mind-blowing adventure later. ~ooo-
“Oh my gosh, that was amazing!” Starlight exclaimed as she and Sunset once again found themselves walking down a hall of Canterlot Castle. “And by ‘that’, I, of course, mean our harrowing adventure in Ponyville!”
Flapping her wings hard enough to dislodge the odd glob of green sludge, Sunset smiled. “Well, I could have done with less slime, but we saved the day, became closer as friends, and learned a bit about ourselves!”
“We also achieved brand-new transformations that I’m absolutely sure will come in handy for later adventures!” Starlight added.
Sunset grinned. “And Flash also proved himself a capable and brave warrior instead of just providing info to move our adventure forward and add a smattering of romance to the mix!” Her smile dropped a bit. “I still can’t believe he managed to eat all that slime, though.”
“And every pony learned that ‘harmony’ is something we all can achieve if we just believe in ourselves hard enough!”
Sunset smirked. “I mean… in the sense I temporarily uprooted the Tree of Harmony and beat Grogar with it, but what you said is technically accurate given enough focus and strength of will…”
Starlight shrugged. “I’m sure there’s a metaphor in all that that’s empowering, but also serves as a good learning experience somewhere… Oh! And Flash got the girl!”
Sunset groaned.
“And by ‘girl’, I - of course - mean Twilight Sparkle.”
Sunset groaned louder.
Starlight frowned. “Uh, is something the matter?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sunset replied.
“Okay, but you know you know can talk to me about whatever, right? I mean, even conflicting emotions about being attracted to a pony who’s in a relationship with one of your best frie—”
“I just said I don’t want to talk about ‘it’, and by ‘it’, I mean specifically THIS topic!”
“Okay, okay!” Starlight chuckled to herself. “Isn’t it weird how us two, relatively new to saving the day in Equestria, just managed to show up and be the big heroes even with everyone who’d usually save the day in the situation right there?”
Sunset couldn’t help but give Starlight a sour look. “Little bit. Yeah…”
Perhaps catching Sunset’s grumpy expression, Starlight quickly switched topics again. “Say, when do you think that strange curse Grogar hit us with to make us converse in bizarrely specific sentences will wear off?”
Sunset thought for a moment. “I’m sensing about the time I finish this sentence. You know… soonish…”
Personally I had just assumed Grogar had a history beyond being Starswirl’s slime producer that hadn’t been mentioned before, or that he had named his evil goat after the real McCoy as a sort of insult.
Eh, you should have just put in a scene at the end of the chapter with Twilight and Pinkie going something like this...
Twilight: Wait a second, didn't we already fight Gogar?
Pinkie: Pffft! We're run by Hasbro, continuity means nothing to them, so the fanfic authors have to follow suit!
Twilight: I don't think-
Pinkie: Two words Twilight, Rainbow Power
Twilight: SHH! We're not supposed to talk about that!
Well, I’m glad to know I wasn’t going completely crazy on that issue. That whole thing was really bugging (no pun intended with the new change) me.
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Its mostly just references