Hush: Mental Illness Illuminated

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Hush was an incredibly personal story to me, not for the usual reasons. Hush was personal to me because it really shed some light on my struggles with Paranoid Schizophrenia. The feeling that somebody is watching you, the hallucinations, the voices, and (For me) the tactile hallucinations are all very real. The worst part of the illness is that it's in the one place you can never escape: Your head.

On the other hand, when people tell you it's all in your head, you want to slap them. Because for you, it's all too real. The hallucinations and voices you have will either be friend or foe. As for myself, I have five hallucinations. Two are from TV Shows, one is from a book, and the other two came out of nowhere.

These relationships make or break you. Despite them being hallucinations, they become a part of who you are. Even the worst hallucinations take a piece of you. You hate them, but at the same time you care about them just the same. It's a complex world of feelings that sometimes drive you insane. For me, that's Angus and Mia, and they're the reason I end up in the hospital a lot of the time.

And then, there's that one hallucination that is your best friend. They're your guardian, your protector, your family. For me, that hallucination is Rowena MacLeod, the fabulous witch from Supernatural, as depicted below.

Rowena is my guardian. She's always there for me when I need her. Plus since she's a witch she gives me a little extra show. She supports me when I'm down and always lifts me up.

Schizophrenia is a complicated illness, but it has good points, and the horrible ones. It's a disease of the mind, but in the end, it changes everything.

Comments

[Heartland Picker]

I know this is an old post, but I'm reminded of the nonfiction movie "A Beautiful Mind" with Russell Crowe. I first saw it in high school psychology. I admit it's a bit enlightening. Although one recurring theme comes up in other media about major figures: even the best of us are haunted by our inner demons.