Reviews for Sunset Shipping Contest · 8:36pm Nov 5th, 2018
Time to review the honorable competition!
Lost in Paradise - NaiadSagaIotaOar (4th place)
This fic's first problem is that the summary spoils the twist. Don't read the summary.
The tension is great here, as you slowly piece together what's going on with Adagio and Sunset... at least it would be, if the summary hadn't spoiled what's going on already. As Adagio herself starts to figure things out, Sunset's rising secrecy and control of her to keep her in the dark begin to escalate, straining the relationship. And we as readers are extra concerned because we know what's happening and don't want it to. No one is in the wrong here, it's just Sunset and Adagio both trying to do what they think is best for her and their relationship cracks about due to the lies and mistrust. By the time the fic ends you have no idea what's going to happen the next time they see each other, which makes for a very foreboding and mysterious ending - things could go well, or they could go horribly wrong. I particularly appreciate that ambiguity being so crafted that you see how things can go well and work out okay, it's not "things are gonna be disastrous, just a matter of how" like some fics like this are.
The biggest flaw with the story is that damned summary that spoils the twist going in, not letting us slowly realize what happened sometime before the fic began and what's happening in it now. I can only imagine how the fic's slow burn of a reveal would have worked if I'd skipped the summary. But I think it would have been better. Seriously, if you choose to read this, don't read the summary. It would be like going to see The LEGO Movie and the trailer shows the human characters in the background.
I'm also uncertain as to how the incident in the backstory happened, the fic is vague on how it happened, but it shouldn't be, because it's vague enough that Sunset may or may not have played a role in what happened to Adagio, and if she did or not would be a major factor on how the fic plays out. Though, as I type that, that uncertainty can work too, because it's the same uncertainty Adagio is feeling. I guess it's more that I personally want to know what happened than the fic being in need of that information.
PS - it's funny how, despite my soft spot for redheads, Adagio has never done anything for me in terms of sex appeal, I don't find her a very interesting character, and I never much cared for SunDagio. Not sure why but something about Adagio never clicked for me, I have no interest in her. Aria's the "hot Dazzling" for me.
Recommendation: Pretty good, but that summary...
One Night in Buckkok - stillinbeta (3rd place)
This story is great. The relationship dynamic between Sunset and Rarity is excellent, as is their voicing. You can tell these are two characters in love and who love. The conflict of the story is unique, but handled well. It does a great job building up the tension of what's going to happen and slowly revealing what it is, and the tension of their uncertainty over what's going to happen.
I have mixed feelings about what that central conflict is. On the one hand the fic doesn't discuss it in a lot of detail so I'm not quite clear on what Rarity's circumstances are going into things. On the other hand those are really not important, the focus is on Sunset and Rarity dealing with the lead-up to what's going to happen, as it should be since it's a shipping fic. Really, if you excised a single line where it's confirmed what's happening, you could replace the upcoming event with some other suitable stressful and worrysome event and the story wouldn't need to change much. That's not necessarily a criticism, I'm just noting the fic glosses over the details of the conflict to focus on the characters dealing with the days before it. And as I said, that's what the focus should be anyway and those parts are great.
Recommendation: A great piece for fans of RariShimmer.
Neither Rhyme, Nor Reason - Posh (2nd place)
This is fantastic, the romance and the interactions and the dialogue are all spot-on, and I love the little bits of foreshadowing to build things up. this is a sequel fic but you don't need to read the first fic from last year to follow this one, I didn't read it and I enjoyed this plenty. There's good romantic fluff, lots of good humor, and very good characterization.
I feel the only misstep was the third chapter, where Equestrian magic got involved in things and the writer uses Sunset's geode as a sort of "mind room" telepathic connection thing, instead of it letting her see memories like it does in the canon. I actually like that change and it makes more sense as an "empathy" power than seeing memories, but since that's not how the power works in the canon it isn't immediately obvious that is what's happening, and it came off as a scene transition until we came back to the present scene. It's also odd because the memory flashes usage of the power could have just as easily conveyed the same information. But this is a nitpick.
Overall this is just a fantastic piece.
Recommendation: A must-read.
Stopping by Woods on a Sunny Afternoon by King of Beggars (1st place)
At first I was put off because the author didn't really set a scene for things and it made it tricky to tell what was going on. Then it became apparent that was because the setting was part of the reveal, and um... okay. I hesitate to spoil the reveal here because as a rule I try not to spoil things in my reviews, but I kinda have to explain the reveal so you'll understand the rest of my thoughts on this fic. If you don't want the reveal you can skip it and the rest of the review will be spoiler-free.
Here goes: Sunset and Big Mac are "seeing" each other through a glory hole that is actually a portal to Equestria.
...Yeah. It's weird and gross and uncomfortable, and that's the intent, attention is repeatedly called to how weird and gross this is. And I'm sorry but I just couldn't get over that premise, every time it was brought up, which was frequently, it just put me off. Not even the sexuality part of it, but the focus on how disgusting and filthy the environment is. I'm trying to picture Sunset in the setting the story describes and it nauseates me. I will say the author does a genuinely good job of painting that disgusting image.
Beyond that, this story honestly didn't do it for me. There's a scene with the Humane Seven all talking and the character voicing is kinda subpar, and there's just some odd things in the scene that seem like padding, like Twilight not knowing how to high-five and slapping Rarity's chest. I get the scene was just supposed to be them hanging out and chatting about nothing in particular, but I don't know if it worked that well at that. Speaking of voicing, in a later scene Sunset says "dramaturgical hexad", which is something Sci-Twi would say but not Sunset. The second half of the story where Big Mac and Sunset pour their hearts out... it kinda fell flat, it felt a bit forced on both their parts, which is a shame because the things they confess are good and work for their characters. But these confessions to the other didn't feel earned.
I feel bad talking about the fic this way when it won the contest and this may make me feel biased, but I have to be honest - it just didn't work for me at all. The premise is gross and strange and the story revels in those elements and makes them central to the conflict between Sunset and Big Mac, but in doing so it asks you to buy into the premise and go along with it. Maybe other readers can, and I guess the judges could, but I couldn't. And even when the premise is put aside, I don't feel the rest of the story gelled like it could have.
Recommendation: It's not for me, but clearly it's for some people. Take that as you will.
you should review all the entries
4963587
If he doesn't, I will! :V
4963623
let me know when you do
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on my story
I definitely share your feelings with the winner of the contest, like, I absolutely love King of Beggar's writing with all of my heart and they're probably my all-time favorite writer on this website, but that story did absolutely nothing for me and I kind of only read it out of obligation that it was written by them lol