Sideboard Stories: Next Chapter Preview · 12:04am Oct 29th, 2018
I’m currently working on the next chapter of Sideboard Stories, with the hope of getting it up next week. Once it’s up, I should be able to focus on other works, as I wanted to get all of the Mane 6’s cards done before I finished My Little Planeswalker: Glimmering Oil.
So, without further ado, here’s a brief glimpse of what’s in store. As usual, here be spoilers!
“Water, thirty-five liters. Carbon, twenty kilograms. Ammonia, four liters. Lime, one-point-five kilograms. Phosphorus, eight hundred grams.”
Late one afternoon, far away from the watchful eyes of pony society, a lone mare was hard at work. The darkened room was cluttered with utensils, beakers, and measuring tools of a trade few had ever mastered. Some would have even argued that it was better for such secrets to remain hidden. Regardless, the mare continued her task, muttering to herself as she labored.
“Salt, two hundred fifty grams. Saltpeter, one hundred grams. Sulfur, eighty grams. Fluorine, seven-point-five grams. Iron, five grams. Silicon, three grams, and a small amount of fifteen other elements.”
Finally, after much preparation, all the pieces were in place. The transmutation circle began to glow with a dim light, sending a chill down the mare’s spine. A bubbling hiss sounded out, sending a overpowering, sickly-sweet smell across her nostrils. The moment she had been awaiting had finally arrived.
Pinkie Pie pulled back the window blinds, illuminating the kitchen’s interior. “Cake batter’s done!”
In a single, smooth motion, so quickly that many would have missed it, she picked up massive, pony-sized bowl of cake batter from the center of circle, and hoisted it onto her back. Gliding smoothly over to the kitchen counter, she methodically carried the bowl over to a series of cake pans, carefully pouring the pinkish, sugary-sweet batter into each one. Within moments, she was literally juggling the cake pans, miraculously spilling none of their contents as she tossed them into her custom-built, patented Pink-O-Matic™ Baking Oven.
A subtle tingle tugged at the frog of her right rear hoof, alerting Pinkie to the arrival of new customers. Leaving the cakes to bake in the oven, she trotted out to the shop’s front counter to greet the new arrivals.
“Hi! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! What can I get— whoa.”
Throughout her life, Pinkie had always embraced the element of surprise. Few ponies ever had ever known what exactly to expect from her next. It was rare, then, that the surprise didn’t come from herself.
“Heh... wow! I didn’t know Nightmare Night was early this year!” Pinkie remarked. “I mean, you’ve got it all! The grey robes, the glowing red eyes, the way the room suddenly got colder when you walked in, how everything beneath your hoods looks totally pitch-black, as though it were swallowing and consuming the very light itself... You guys have some real dedication to your costumes, I can tell!”
The hooded pony’s eyes narrowed. Briefly, it glanced back at the two hooded following it, then turned back to face Pinkie. “We require... a cake.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right place!” said Pinkie. “What kind of cake do you need? We’ve got chocolate cake, spice cake, carrot cake, pumpkin cake, pound cake... not to be confused with the foals named Pumpkin and Pound Cake, can you imagine how mad Mrs. Cake would be if I sold them? We’ve got butter cake, vanilla cake, cheesecake, gingerbread cake, and and at least a dozen other types that I probably can’t name here without having to pause for breath...” Pinkie paused momentarily, inhaling loudly. “...Oops, too late! So, what kind of cake do you need?”
The three hooded ponies huddled together, whispering amongst themselves. A chill wind blew through the room. Slowly, they turned back, and the first of them spoke in a grim, hushed voice. “Chocolate... shall suffice.”
“Great!” said Pinkie. She pulled out a notepad and pencil from somewhere, and jotted down the order as quickly as she could. “I’ll put you in for one chocolate cake, then!”
“Excellent,” said the hooded pony. “The contract is sealed. Do not disappoint us.”
Ammonia? In cake batter?!
Oh dear. This ingredient list never leads anywhere good...
Oh. And here I was thinking of how Pear Butter brought the Elrics' mother to mind. Still, given those ingredients, this does not sound like an appetizing cake. And given what we've seen of alchemy in this universe...
Metal GearCelestia herself.Meanwhile, these cultists seem to have a chronic case of excess drama... or they really are putting that cake to sinister use. Whatever the case, looking forward to seeing where you go from here.
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The greatest taboo of
alchemybaking. I ment baking.My body is ready.