• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen February 2nd

The Bricklayer


Slow down, you're doing fine, you can't be everything you want to be, before your time... -Vienna, The Stranger: Billy Joel. (Any Pronouns)

More Blog Posts919

  • 116 weeks
    Happy New Year

    And let's make it a good one eh?

    4 comments · 357 views
  • 116 weeks
    Happy New Year

    And let's make it a good one eh?

    0 comments · 286 views
  • 125 weeks
    *eye roll*

    me checking the dislike ratio on my new story

    Glad to know bigotry is still alive and well in this fandom.

    It's glad to see some of us didn't watch the same series as I did.

    8 comments · 637 views
  • 128 weeks
    So where I've been

    Okay, uh... how do I begin this? Well, I suppose I should start with the obvious. Yes, I've been distracted. If you follow me on Archive that should be obvious. And if you don't, you totally should btw. Yes, I'm shameless.

    Read More

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  • 134 weeks
    Final chapter up

    Been a hell of a ride, honestly. I just apologize for dragging it on for so long.

    1 comments · 388 views
Oct
19th
2018

Fic Reviews: Hasbro Infinity War · 12:22am Oct 19th, 2018

Okay, cracks knuckles it's that time again. Time for me to rip and tear another badfic to shreds. Or maybe I should just snap it out of existence and be done with it. The joke's fitting, considering the piece.



Sadly, it has none of the charm of the original Infinity War.

The fic?

[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]

Yes, that is the actual description. That's not the abridged version, that is all there is to it.


Oh god almighty, already this author wants to make his fic seem like an actual movie by putting videos of intro sequences in the story. I kid you not.

Those are the exact title sequences he put into this 'fic'.

“Impactor to well.. anyone! This is the Wrecker ship Xanthium! We are under attack! I repeat, requesting backup we are under attack! Please anyone! We are taking heavy damage! Don’t know how much longer we can hang- arrghh!”


“ This may seem like death and destruction, no this is salvation! for
even in death, we are all protoforms of Megatronus!” said Meltdown walking past the mangled corpses of Impactor and Rack’n’Ruin.

All tall imposing figure entered the scene.

“I know what it's like to lose." said Megatronus
“To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail nonetheless. As lightning turns the legs to jelly. I ask you, to what end? Dread it, run from it... Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it's here. Or should I say... I am."
He raised his fist, wearing a gauntlet, with 6 slots in it, yet only one was filled, the power stone.

Boring! And anyways, picking the Fallen as your villain, while an understandable substitute for Thanos if you think on it... if only for a short while, does not work in the long run. See, Thanos in Infinity War was all about balancing the universe in his own twisted way, or if you follow the original comics just make Death fall in love with him. Yes, Marvel newbies. That was Thanos' original comic motivation. He was in love with Death and just wanted to kill all. The Fallen...?

Well, I'll let TF Wiki do the talking.

If the first Transformers were Primus's disciples, then The Fallen is his Judas. At the dawn of time, he was Megatronus, one of a brotherhood of vastly powerful beings dedicated to the well-being of their world. But The Fallen would gain his current moniker by turning against his brother Primes and his purpose to pursue his own ends, also earning the moniker "the first Decepticon" in the process. His frightening form is a metal cage for primal, burning forces of chaos, giving him the appearance of a living furnace. These cauldron-like forces purged him of what empathy and morality remained; all that remains now is hatred and purest rage.

He's basically more or less the Herald of Unicron, the Transformers version of the Devil.

And what you've done here Benpictures, is turn him into a cheap Thanos wannabe, which is my biggest hang-up with this story aside from it having very little to do with MLP, amongst other things. Here, let me give you a montage of Thanos to show you what exactly you're missing.

Thanos both geniually believed what he was doing was right, and he loved his daughter. He cried over her death, even when he was the one to kill her. The Fallen is none of these things.

Ultra Magnus was unimpressed,
“You talk too much" he then charged at Megatronus

Megatronus grabbed and then slammed Magnus on the floor, he then wrapped bars of metal around him, restraining him.

Ultra Magnus wanted to scream in pain, but held it in, he was already missing an optic and his hammer was destroyed.

“The Amulet of Aurora, or your brother’s head, I assume you have a preference”
Megatronus clenched the gauntlet.

“Oh I do, kill away!” Cyclonus replied.

“Very well than” He began to scorch Magnus with the power stone.

Magnus screamed in pain, Megatronus ignored his screaming.

“OK you can stop!” yelled Cyclonus.

Ultra Magnus coughed out Energon
“The Amulet Of Aurora is- wait Whirl don’t!”

Whirl fumbled around looking for an escape pod, He was blind due to his optic being ripped out, So finding one was hard.
“Ha ha I think I found one!”
He said grabbing on to Megatronus leg.

“Pathetic” said Megatronus ,He then crushed Whirl’s head under his heel.
“As you were saying?”

“We don’t have it. The amulet was destroyed on Garrus-9”

Cyclonus made the amulet appear.

Magnus was horrified “brother, you truly are the worst”

Really, what I'm seeing right here is just a carbon copy of Infinity War, with Transformers characters replacing the Marvel characters. It goes on like this.

“Ah, thank you” He then crushed the amulet with his hand, revealing the space stone, He then inserted it into one of the gauntlets slots.
“There are two more Stones, one on Earth and one on Equis. Find them, my children, and bring them to me on Titan.”

Oil Slick nodded
“Father, we will not fail you”

“And another thing, I want you to meet up with Lockdown to discuss battle plans”

Cyclonus stepped in
“If I might, interject… If you're going to Earth or Equis, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in both of those areas”

“If you consider failure experience...”

Cyclonus shrugged.
“I consider experience, experience.”
He then walked up to Megatronus, and kneeled.
“Oh mighty Megatronus. I Cyclonus do hereby pledge to you, my undying fidelity.”
He pulled a dagger, and stabbed Megatronus.
Except he didn’t, Megatronus grabbed the dagger and crushed it.
He then grabbed Cyclonus by the neck ,lifted him up and began choking him.
“Undying, You should choose your words more carefully.“

“You… will.. never be… a god.” Cyclonus said definitely.

Megatronus squeezed Cyclonus’ neck so hard that his head popped off. Megatronus threw the now headless corpse on the ground.
“Never be a god. I already am.”
He then turned to face his troops
“We leave now”
He then opened up a portal and walked through. His troops followed him.

There is nothing to review here, except a poor universe who's characters I literally know nothing about, because there is no backstories to how these versions of these characters got to this point. Plus, you're pretty much reciting word for word -with some words and names replaced- off the Infinty War script. I just can't bring myself a flying fuck to care about these Bots and Cons, not even Cyclonus really. His death scene, nowhere near as heartbreaking as Loki's, as again, there was no build-up to this as there was no backstory showing what turned Cyclonus into Infinity War era Loki in all but name. It's just a hi and die scene for him. I shall shed no tears, unlike I did when Loki died, and I probably won't shed any tears for Spider-Man's replacement or any of the other deaths.

I'm literally reviewing Infinity War, without knowing who any of these characters are or why should I care about them.

Friendship Castle, Ponyville, Equestria

“No, I don’t have any bits on me! I used them all up in a bet!” said Rainbow Dash.

“Let me guess, you lost it” Twilight replied.

“So? Ask Applejack or Fluttershy if they have any”

“I can’t ,they’re on a friendship mission”

“Where are they going?”

“To the Peaks of Peril-“

“Isn’t that where the nirik live?”

“Stop interrupting me! they left a few hours ago and-“

“I do not interrupt you!”

“You did it again!”

“Whatev, so how we gonna get lunch then? Let’s ask Pinkie. she’s my best friend. Maybe we could get free food from-“

“No!”

“You interrupted me!”

“Ugh!”

CRASH!!
A large being fell through the roof.
The Colossus, he turned back into Cyrus Rhodes.
“Megatronus... he’s coming” he weakly managed to get out.

Twilight was confused.
“Who?”

Yes, literally who. I can't even call Megatronus... Megatronus. He's been stripped of all of what made him interesting and turned into a poor Thanos knock-off placed in a bad story with terrible pacing, and horrendous grammar. And you know the funniest bit? Because the author's such a special snowflake who knows this story would get downvoted to all Hell, he's turned off downvotes and upvotes. Cute, really cute.

Well, I guess there's only one way to rate this story. 0/10.

So... Guess there's one thing left to do. snaps finger

Comments ( 6 )

Oh, dear...This looks even worse than Evictus writing!

I mean, I guess it's a good idea in concept, and if he had much better writing, interesting character introduction and development, different dialogue, and better paragraph spacing and grammar, this kid might've been on to something. But he failed because he doesn't know how to write a story. Heck, this isn't even an adaptation! This is a knockoff!

Also, for the love of Skyrim sweetrolls, read a good fic next time! I think all of these bad fic reviews have permanently damaged your brain to the point where you have no joy in reading fanfiction anymore because you'll be afraid it'll just suck! And when I mean suck, I mean succ. Hard.

Also, (Checks the long list of reviews you did) Man, I'm still the only one that got a perfect ten! I must have done something a lot better than anyone else on the site you've reviewed! I'm...speechless.

4955049

You earned that. God, I wish this was a trollfic, but... Sadly, it isn't.

4955061
That was strangely therapeutic. :pinkiehappy:

4955069

I think all of these bad fic reviews have permanently damaged your brain to the point where you have no joy in reading fanfiction anymore because you'll be afraid it'll just suck! And when I mean suck, I mean succ. Hard.

Relax, that hasn't happened yet. For one thing, I'm actually still putting out quality work. Well, what passes for quality with me, and every time I see a new fic that catches my interest, that one piece of shit shining through the diamonds I smile. It's just good fics are harder to review than terrible ones, as you have to pick them apart at the seams, judge every flaw from a non-biased point of view. It's not easy.

Ouch just reading your review scared me.

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