Crimson Lips - Official and yet Unofficial chapter · 6:15pm Oct 2nd, 2018
I'm still debating if I wish I had or hadn't. Can't post on Crimson for reasons, but I can't let this GROUNDBREAKING chapter by my lovely editor go unacknowledged. Blue is what he wrote.
TIME
You have mostly been a wonderful audience, and I do hope you don’t feel offended by my use of the word mostly.
After all, to say that you’ve been a perfect audience would be a lie, would it not? There is nothing perfect in this world. Not the sun, not the moon, not the stars, and not even my dear beloved.
With that in mind, I shall remind you that you’ve been a mostly wonderful audience considering the fact that this story is not for you. Again, I do hope you won’t think ill of my words. You’re more than welcome to listen in as I weave this tale, but the truth is that this tale is for myself.
And today, this tale for no one but me starts after the end, in the small town of Heart’s Haven, hidden away in the depths of Galloping Gorge.
A prodigious mage strode through the streets, the tips of her fingers crackling with magic even though she knew this frightened passerbys. She didn’t mean to frighten them or anything of the sort, but the feel of magic in her hands comforted her.
She did, however, mean to frighten the horde of ninjas assembled at one end of the main street. Black banners flapped over their ranks, swords and throwing stars twinkled ominously, eldritch ninja magics twinkled ominouslyer, and right at their back, she sighted her target. Their kidnapee, a fabulous and melodramatic clothes-horse human, who caught sight of her rescuer. “Darling!” she cried out. “At last!”
“Rarity!” called Twilight, magics readying about her hands. “That’s … ah … that’s a lot of ninjas.”
“Indubitably. A metric fuck-ton, if I’m any judge.”
“Oh, at least.” Twilight eyed the black-clad ranks, and spared her hardest gaze for the ninja warlord at the back, whose ominous levels defied the known rating scale. ‘Ominouslierest’ hadn’t been a word before, but it was now.
“Darling?”
“Hmm?” replied Twilight, broken from her calculation, looking to Rarity and preparing to dispense whatever soothing words were needed.
But they weren’t. Rarity met her gaze with absolute surety, and said, “Do try not to get their blood on me, will you?”
Twilight smiled a lean, feral smile, and the first ranks of ninjas swept at her. Magic crashed forth across the street in great, glittering streamers, and battle was joined.
And what a battle! Magic detonated left and right, swords swung hither and thither, miscellaneous bits of ninja flew this way and that, and the mage strode on in her full terrible glory, her whole form alive with crackling magic. Yet more things exploded. An entire wall, which had been doing sterling service as a wall for centuries and didn’t deserve this shabby treatment, collapsed under the strain and flattened yet more ninjas. Those few that closed the gap with Twilight found a spectral sword flying to her grasp, and then to their throats. More explosions!
And at last, Twilight stood before the ninja warlord, who sneered in an appropriately malevolent manner. A chisel-tipped sword swept forth from either hand, and Twilight brought her own spectral blade to bear for what would surely be the toughest fight yet…
Then the warlord’s eyes bulged. His swords fell out his grasp. And he toppled to the ground, a hatpin stuck neatly somewhere vital in his back. Rarity dusted her hands off and stepped free of her bonds, like she’d been all along.
“Show-off,” muttered Twilight, who couldn’t help but grin.
“Please,” replied Rarity. “You love me when I do that.”
And Twilight, unable to deny that statement in any way, stepped into her lover’s arms and they kissed at length.
And they faffed about with Celestia and Luna and maybe reconciled them, and the Boutique became even classier, and everyone lived happily ever after, except for all the ninjas who perished horribly.
Shit, this should have been in first-person Rarity.
Screw it, Mono can clear that up in post-production.
The End.
thank u cara
Snazzy
media.discordapp.net/attachments/374725769408020480/496748129471954945/unknown.png
This is clearly wizardry of the highest order. Truly, Carabas is a force to be respected and feared.
(snerk!) Rarity is indeed a rogue. Like a Dainty Dove in fact.
*nods appreciatively*
Cara gets a cookie.
Quality content
Amazing!
Clearly this AU of an AU needs to be expanded into a full ninja fighting story.
That is really cool! I always knew Rarity was secretly a warrior princess and Twilight was a arch mage!
How many ninjas does it take to stand in the way of true love? More than the most ominous Ninja Master may reasonably produce, it seems.
I do hope the wall got repaired.
Why can't I add this to my favorite of all time? IT DESERVES ITS PLACE
I was confused for a minute by the use of "Cara".
Also, this is fun and I approve of this officially unofficial chapter.
Well. That was a thing.
I just want to say I happened to be listening to "The Ecstacy of Gold" while reading this and I think that made it probably about 1000x better.
It occurs to me. Japanese ninjas suck. Everyone knows they exist. I mean, have YOU ever heard of an Icelandic Ninja?
The most epiclyest of battles!!! Huzzah!
Absolutely perfect. Well done Carabas. *Round of Applause*
4947412
The Icelandic Ninja will be moving to your location to silence the leak. And to find a new home.
4947793
Alright, what about a Scottish ninja?
4947876
The Icelandic Ninja would be going there if you didn't reveal it, you monster.
4947885
If I know about it, it’s not a very good Ninja.
4947891
It was worse than i feared, you are no mere monster, you are a traitor who betrayed the Ninjas of the north.
4947892
Betrayed is such an ugly word. I prefer, gave a little push into the limelight.
I don't see why this can't be completely canon with Crimson. Obviously between getting lost in each others' eyes and being mysterious at each other Rarity and Twilight were also regularly going on missions to eliminate the other shoguns competing for control of Equestria.