• Member Since 20th Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

A Man Undercover


I’m an Autistic-Conservative-Christian who loves to write, act, paint, and so much more, with so many ideas in my head it’s hard to make them stay put. I also have quite an unusual sense of humor.

More Blog Posts403

  • Friday
    My Movie Review on Spider-Man 3 (2007)

    Aloha, my friends.

    This is your friendly film, TV show, and episode reporter here with another review.

    Today, for my 133rd film analysis, I'm gonna be giving you guys my take of "Spider-Man 3 (2007)".

    Read More

    7 comments · 33 views
  • Thursday
    My Movie Review on The Mask (1994)

    Aloha, my friends.

    This is your all-out friendly film, TV show, and episode reporter here with another review.

    Today, I'm gonna give you guys my take of Jim Carrey's "The Mask".

    Read More

    6 comments · 19 views
  • Wednesday
    My Movie Review on Big Fat Liar

    Greetings, my good friends.

    This is your friendly film, TV show, and episode reporter once again here with another review.

    And today, I'll be giving you all an analysis on a movie that I believe is perfect to celebrate April Fool's Day with:

    "Big Fat Liar"

    Read More

    1 comments · 33 views
  • Monday
    James 4:13-17

    Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money."

    Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.

    What is your life?

    You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes.

    Read More

    7 comments · 32 views
  • Sunday
    My Episode Review on Three Pests in a Mess

    Greetings, Kemosabes?

    This is your friendly film, TV show, and episode reporter here with another review.

    Today, for my 29th episode analysis, I'm gonna be giving you guys my take of the Three Stooges's "The Pests in a Mess".

    Read More

    2 comments · 27 views
Oct
1st
2018

My Fanfic Review on “Little Filly Blue” · 2:42pm Oct 1st, 2018

Today, I thought I’d make my 80th blog post by doing something new and different. Reviewing a story.

Last Friday, I was able to read a story called “Little Filly Blue”, which is also the first “2nd Person” Story I’ve ever read.

ELittle Filly Blue
Seems Diamond Tiara has her eye on you in this second-person fic.
Yoshi89 · 8.1k words  ·  139  5 · 5.3k views

This is the summary of it:

You are a school-age colt who hates Hearts and Hooves Day with a passion and wishes the holiday would leave as soon as it arrives. All that changes when you run into the local bully Diamond Tiara. You say something nice to her and suddenly your world starts to change...

Anyway, I must say that I really enjoyed it. It had great comedy, and I love the romance between DT and the unnamed colt. However, there are some problems I cannot help but find the story to have. So much, that I added it to a bookshelf of mine called “Stories that I Think Are in Need of Fixing Up”.

Here’s why:

The story just felt awfully rushed, not giving the reader enough time to comprehend when something is happening or what’s just happening. Along with that, the narration just doesn’t seem to fit the story. I wish it could’ve been at least first person or normal instead of 2nd person. It also would have been much better if this was a multi-chapter story instead of a one-shot, because that way things would have more time to breathe.

Along with that, I had also felt that the romance between Diamond and the colt needed fleshing out. There wasn’t enough romantic interaction between them, nor romantic thought or moment. What I mean by that of course is that they hadn’t done anything like hold hooves or wrap tails. Tiara’s proposal to make the colt her coltfriend also just seemed completely too soon.

With all of this in mind, Yoshi89, if you’re seeing this review, I must ask you this:

Can you please remake this story into a version even better than this one? One that has all the things required: a well-fleshed story and romance? Please?

All in all, at least until something is done to fix up the story, I rate “Little Filly Blue” three out of five stars.

I hope you all enjoyed this review. And, starting from this moment onwards, I will be making reviews on several kinds of stories, particularly completed ones that I’ve been requested, and ones that I added to the shelf I mentioned.

Please don’t forget to leave comments.

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Comments ( 3 )

I am pleased that you reviewed on my fanfic "Little Filly Blue" and am glad that you liked it. As this is a story that I had written quite some time ago for a contest, I agree that it needs an overhaul.

I agree with the principle that the romance needs a lot more than just one day to work out. It would be only appropriate that it would need more than a single chapter. Given the FiM universe has changed a whole lot in three and a half years, Diamond Tiara's character would also require a major update since she is no longer a bully.

Thanks again. I appreciate the feedback.

Very concise review. The more pretentious side of me thinks it might be handy to expand your use of vocabulary so that the critiques feel more precise and compassionate, but that's up to personal preference.

Well done. :twilightsmile:

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