Two Background Ponies Quickie: "What Lies Beneath" Aftermath · 3:24pm Sep 23rd, 2018
"Here's your problem, good buddy," the mustached, cap-wearing plumber-pony announced as, unceremoniously, he set a grimy-looking bucket full of what looked like gem shards down on the counter of the Snack Shack. The blue store proprietor gave it an uneasy look before looking back to the stallion across from him, who wiped his brow and gestured. "You had a whole mess of 'em roots clogging up the drain. That's what caused your backup."
The blue stallion blinked. "Wait...roots? These are crystals..."
"Yup, the land around here's got a real problem with crystal roots. Constantly need to roto-root them out about twice a year. Normally I charge about 300 for yanking 'em out of the drainage, but since they're crystal I can't use the basic pipe snake. I got to bring in the heavy duty stuff, so it'll be 700."
His jaw dropped. "7...700?!"
"Twice a year."
He stared dumbfounded a moment longer, before he finally clenched his jaw and ruefully began to dig out his checkbook. "This one better not be made out of rubber..."
A minute later, he had just finished writing out his latest check and passing it on to the plumber when the door to the Snack Shack flew open. He almost forgot the service-pony as he snapped up to it. "WelcometotheSnackShackpleasebuyeitherthemostexpensivethingoratonofinexpensive-"
He cut himself off soon after and frowned, though, seeing it was his only customer running in.
"...Hello, Carl."
"Sam, Sam!" he shouted as he ran up to the counter, pushing past the plumber as he turned and began to head out. "I'm glad you're still here! You got to come with me!"
Sam sighed as he began to put his checkbook away. "Carl, not right now. I need to start cleaning up yet another day of no sales. At least the local wildlife is appreciating the full sets of fresh donuts I throw out every day..."
Suddenly, Carl's hooves shot out and grasped him by the shoulders, surprising him by pulling him back toward him.
"I'm serious, Sam!" he shouted as he stared into his eyes intently. "Get this! I think I just found Pony God!"
The blue stallion stared back silently for a moment, his eyes widening a bit. This was a bit crazy-sounding even for his green friend. "You...did what now?"
"I said I think I just found Pony God! And he...she...it, whatever...is living right underneath the School of Friendship! Right in the ventilation system!"
Sam's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "You're saying...you discovered the existence of Pony God...and it's in the heating system at the school?"
Carl groaned and rolled his eyes. "Ugh, come on! I'll show you!"
"Carl, I'm sure if somehow there is a god living underneath the school, that it's been there a while and it's not going anywhere for-"
He cut off with a yipe as Carl practically yanked him over the counter and started dragging him toward the door.
Several minutes later, the two were walking through the halls of the School of Friendship. Carl readily led Sam ahead, while the latter looked around uncomfortably as they moved along. "Are you sure I'm allowed to be in here, Carl?"
"Of course you aren't, Sam. But this is Equestria. What are they gonna do? Not let you eat cookies for one day? Ponies don't even get parking tickets."
The blue stallion sighed and kept walking. "Where are you leading me to anyway?"
"The library. Here's the deal." He exhaled and frowned a bit at the memory. "I had to stay overnight yesterday because the cast of 'My Friendship Academia' ended up pulling an all-nighter, and policy is I had to make sure they didn't leave the library unescorted. Well, finally around dawn the next day I walked by seeing the little Shirley Temple filly who goes here chuckling maniacally to herself while rubbing her hooves together in wicked glee and..."
He suddenly stopped, causing Sam to stop as well. He looked out frowning.
"Dude...seriously?"
Huh?
"You're censoring that now? Really?"
Well, yeah. It's a spoiler.
"Give me a break! It's been on IMDb since before the mid-season finale, referred to by episode commentators ever since her first appearance, written into the Wikipedia episode synopsis, plastered all over screenshots on Youtube since the season finale already aired outside the USA, and this web site is doing fanfiction on the aftermath already! There's, like, three bronies left on Earth who don't know Cozy Glow is the end-season villain! And you just did it again!"
Well...I'll protect those three!
"Why are you even putting the joke into this in the first place then? You're just going to make people suspicious...assuming there's anyone who isn't suspicious after the last episode because they kind of slapped you over the head with it!"
Just do the bit!
Carl let out a massive groan, slapped his cheeks a few times with his hooves, and then kept walking as best as he could and leading Sam on. "Anyway, when all was said and done I checked out the library and my eyes went right to a ventilation grating I never noticed before. Now, you know full well never ignore an inconsistency I haven't seen before, so I went over to it, opened it up, and peered inside and saw a crystal-lined cavern. I know those are about in common in Equestria as 'meadow muffins', but nevertheless I wanted to see just how impossible it would be to get any heating or cooling from it so I stepped inside...and that's when I saw it."
"And you really think you found Pony God under the School of Friendship, a structure that was erected less than a year ago and the workers would have seen laying the foundation?"
"Well, I suppose it could always have been an incarnation of Pennywise..."
Sam was rather unnerved at that last part as Carl pushed open the door to the library and led him in. He began to take him inside toward the back where he had seen the grating, passing through several rows and turning corners around books, before they finally began to approach the back. Yet as soon as they reached it, Carl again froze in his tracks, causing Sam to run into him from behind.
After wincing a bit and stepping back, he looked at him. "What gives?"
"Look, Sam! It came out into the light! It's a divine revelation!"
The blue stallion glanced forward. At the moment, a purple alicorn was frowning as she looked at a brass grating on the floor over a ventilation hole. She was levitating a blueprint of what looked like the first floor of the school nearby and glancing between it and the grating repeatedly. "That's funny... I don't remember them putting a vent in here..."
Sam looked at Carl with an odd look. "...That's Princess Twilight, Carl."
"No it's not, Sam! Don't you get it? It's manifesting itself in a form that we'd understand and respect as a source of power and authority! Pony minds can't comprehend the existence of the true form of Pony God!"
"...Huh?"
The green stallion planted his hooves on his shoulders and began to push him forward. "This is it! This is our opportunity to answer the question of all of life's greatest mysteries, dude! Let's go talk to her!"
"Carl," He started to wince. "I really don't think..."
It was too late. As Carl pushed him closer, the princess finally noticed them over the sound of her own contemplations, and looked up and over to them. She frowned at the sight.
"Carl, you left the front doors unlocked when you left this afternoon! And I told you that you can't just bring other ponies into the school! I'm still trying to fight off groups of angry hippogriff parents from that whole EEA incident!"
Instantly, Carl froze and put his hoof on Sam's chest. "That must be her way of saying we can come no nearer. It must be holy ground from here on out. Don't take another step or your face will melt off, Sam."
The blue stallion face-hooved. Carl proceeded to clear his throat and then bow down on his front knees.
"Excuse me, Pony God? Er...Tree of Harmony Manifestation...uh..." A pause. "What do we call you...if you don't mind a mortal asking?"
Twilight gave him a deadpan look. She glanced up to Sam soon after and sighed. "...Alright, what's going on now?"
"'What's Going On Now'?" Carl echoed, before his eyes widened. "Of course! The essence of life! Not the past, not the future, but the present! Pony God is a god of the here and now!" He cleared his throat again. "Pony God, I have some questions to ask of you if you would please. Not my normal fair like how much Equestria could save on interior heating and cooling if pegasi did their job better...I mean the real heavy stuff. Please tell us...what was there before 'pony'? Did this world, the sun, the moon, the weather, and the animals, all exist before us? And will it continue after we're gone?"
Twilight's jaw had loosened in a dumbfounded look. Sam sighed and shook his head. "Sorry princess... He thinks he found evidence of a Divine Creator underneath the school last night. And I think he thinks it took your form."
The alicorn looked back at Carl and frowned. "I'm not the 'Pony God', Carl," she stated flatly.
"Aha, she's testing us, Sam!"
He groaned. "No she's not, Carl..."
"Ok, that one was too complex for mortal ponies to understand. I get it. But can you tell us... In a world of Cutie Marks where all ponies have a destiny and purpose, how can free will coexist? Does it coexist? Are we all cogs in a giant clock or do we have a say in how the world unfolds?"
"...Carl, please be quiet and go home."
The blue stallion looked up a little. He blinked a few times, turning his head. "So...you're saying that ponies should be still and...return to their roots? I don't understand. Or are you saying it will come to me if I sit in a chair in my house and not say anything? Is this a divine test?"
She groaned. "Carl, just get out of here!"
"Alright, alright! I'll carry out your divine command! Don't smite me or anything!" he quickly shot back as he cringed. "Just...just one more thing! Please, I have to know!"
Sam sighed. "Carl, just stop embarrassing yourself...and me... Please..."
Twilight grit her teeth. "If you'll leave right after this, go ahead..."
"Did I make a big mistake telling Sam to put everything he had into that Snack Shack? Because it's really not working out for him and I'm getting really scared that I ruined him!"
The library was silent as the grave. Nopony moved. Twilight's jaw was hanging again. Sam stared in wide-eyed silence at his kneeling friend.
"Carl..."
The princess looked between the two for a moment, clearly stunned at what she had just heard. She moistened her lips and stood there trembling. Sweat began to mount on her brow. Finally, however, she took in a deep breath and drew herself up.
"Well...did you want the best for Sam when you told him that?"
Carl looked up slightly. "Well, yeah...of course. I wanted him to get out of that terrible position and do a job he actually enjoyed doing and get him to step out trying something new. But...now I kind of wonder if I was being selfish. If he opened it near the school it'd give me an excuse to hang out with him all the time, so...I kind of wonder if I only did it for me. And if that's true, what can I do? How do I make it up to him? He's to the point where he's writing checks without money and he's got a kid on the way..."
Twilight looked up to Sam momentarily, then back to Carl.
After a few seconds, she smiled.
"I wouldn't worry about it," she said at last. "I guarantee tomorrow Sam will get a bunch of customers."
Both the blue stallion as well as the green stallion looked up at that.
"As for what you told him, Carl...don't worry about it. I think you just proved even if you slip up from time to time, you're still a good friend."
Carl stared on a moment in silence. Finally, he began to smile a little. At last, he bowed his head in gratitude before getting off of his knees, turning around and walking away. As for Sam, he watched Carl as he slowly walked out, his eyes never leaving him, before he turned and looked back at Twilight. She smiled a bit and winked at him. Soon after, he started to smile as well before turning and following after him.
The next day's "cookie outing" wasn't nearly as comfortable as the past few, considering that the faculty had decided to plan an outing to the Snack Shack. Now there were ponies and creatures of all kinds all over the place, and there was standing room only while everyone had to shout a bit to be heard over the chorus of conversations and noise. Sam and Carl themselves were crunched up against one side of the counter with a plate of chocolate chip cookies.
"You know, Sam..." Carl grunted as he helped himself to another. "I'm keeping a tally. Another incident or two and I think technically that tree will have done more for Equestria than Princess Celestia... Er, don't tell her I said that. I don't want to be the first pony in orbit."
"Y'know, Carl..."
The green stallion looked up a little, seeing Sam half-smirking back at him.
"It occurs to me that I asked you the other day about new ways to possibly market the Snack Shack and you told me you'd take care of it. I think an ardent belief in 'Pony God' is a bit of a stretch even for you at your worst. I asked myself late last night if you really thought Princess Twilight Sparkle could have been a deity or if this would have been one of your levels-of-craziness attempts to try and get ponies into my business."
Carl said nothing back. He maintained a perfect poker face.
Sam smiled wider after a moment. "Luckily, unlike you, I can live not knowing the answers to some things." He took up another cookie and held it out to him. "Here's to you, good buddy."
The green stallion smiled back, knocking his cookie against his. "Thanks a bunch, my new favorite cookie eatery owner."
That was actually really sweet.
And I suspect that the Tree's equine interface has even Celestia beat when it comes to answering Carl's questions.
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Originally this should have been all humor. I knew I wanted to end this one with Twilight deciding to play the "role". I planned on her giving some humorous answer to Carl's last question to get him off of her back for a few days, but I didn't know what and as I was writing it out that just came out. I decided to roll with it.
If Carl actually did meet the Tree, would it melt him?