Story Reviews » Seattle's Angels Round 136 · 4:12am Sep 17th, 2018
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Matthew poked his head into Cynewulf’s room. “Hey, you guys done yet? You and Corejo are late.”
“Yeah, we know,” Cynewulf said over her shoulder. She and Corejo sat hunched over some metal contraption beside Cyne’s couch. Whatever it was, there was a “DANGER: FLAMMABLE” sign on it, and a pair of tubes ran to what looked like giant vacuum cleaners on their backs.
“Wwwwhat are you guys doing?” Matt took a tentative step back.
Cynewulf and Corejo gave him big grins and snapped down welding visors in unison.
“Science!” they said.
ROUND 135
STORY 1
Crimson Lips, by Monochromatic
Amidst the beautiful and unforgiving city of Canterlot, where prejudice is rampant and passion even more so, two women forge an unlikely bond and explore the answer to a simple question: is selling your body the same as selling yourself?
A series of vignettes. Will try to update every few days or when I'm able to. Extensive amounts of research (and an interview!) went into the creation of this fic so as to portray the topics in sensible and respectful ways.
EqG AU RariTwi what? And I'm the one that suggested this fic? That should be enough to convince you to pop open a new tab.
Those of you that know me well enough might think I've been hit in the head when I picked this one up. (To say that I shy away from the concept of AU would be putting it mildly.) But I couldn't help but be lured in by the predominant question posed in the synopsis: is selling your body the same as selling yourself?
I've never read/seen/whatever anything to do with Moulin Rouge, and so maybe there's some more direct overlap going on here that I'm not aware of, but from an outsider's perspective, this story flows beautifully. And the narrator is in exquisite form, taken from the perspective of a rather introspective Rarity looking back on it all, complete with all the word choice intricacies you'd expect her to tack on or twist to her fancy.
There's hints at more salacious things to come—which I'm not surprised, given the fic’s inspiration—but don't let that deter you! Even if you're one to shy from the risque, there's too many good things about this fic to pass up.
I’ve wanted to do a blog on this one, and I still probably will.
I almost feel bad comparing this, but it is very vaguely borrowing from Moulin Rouge. “Borrowing” is perhaps the wrong word. Honestly I would say that it is carrying reverently that work’s sense of place and atmosphere. This story breathes--it should, for its told to us in the narration of one Rarity, Lady of the Many Evenings. This Rarity is worldwise in a way that you may not have seen done quite so well, and her narration sings.
The form is the message, so they say, and this story has all of its narrator’s allure and charm; the story of a dove in the night told in an almost seductive way. It’s fitting. Honestly, this story is one that I keep coming back to FimFiction for, and I can’t wait to see it through.
STORY 2
Roam-Springa, by Pascoite
In the community around the rock farm, it is tradition, upon coming of age, to venture out into the world and see if it holds more interest than home. Cloudy Quartz’s journey took longer than most.
Again with the origin stories! Enough! I can't handle this much want!
This is the story of Cloudy Quartz, Pinkie's mom, on her traditional Roam-Springa, the Equestrian equivalent to Rumspringa. She bumps into a young Mrs. Cake, and is taken on as her baking apprentice. And to top that off, it begins in parallel to the Perfect Pear, which is just too perfect a timeline, because that episode is literally the best thing. And although that might sound pretty mellow, it's what comes after all that that really gets this boat rockin’.
As you might imagine, much of the humor and adorableness is derived from Cloudy’s ignorance of the outside world. And for as much as there is here, it surprisingly never gets old.
The “good ponies should/shouldn't x” mantra Cloudy keeps throwing around is the best thing, and her constant uncertainty is both at once cute and characteristically grounding. Everything about this story I never knew I needed until it was right here in front of me.
If I had to choose, this would be my favorite of the batch, if only barely edging out Life on Boxes. Please read this one. It will put a big smile on your face.
You know, I’ve found conflicting reports on if the rumspringa thing is widespread, but it is very much a thing. The extreme version that this story depicts is definitely rare, but as Pascoite notes, it is there. For those not in the know, the roomspringa or “running around” is an Amish/Mennonite thing wherein teenagers have a sort of coming of age and sometimes make forays into the outside world. Most at the end settle down and get married, but some leave the old ways behind for good.
This story is a slowburner, but it’s worth the time. Cloudy Quartz is recalling her own “roam-springa” to a young mare who is looking to write. Not only does she record her first impressions, but also about how she made the transformation from sheltered, bewildered young adult into something resembling a fullfledged one… and of course, those she loved along the way. HEr story gives some depth and some warm humanity to characters we have only had a few moments to, and that’s honestly pretty moving. Highly recommend.
STORY 3
Life in Boxes, by CoffeeBean
Three months have come and gone since her freedom from the Nightmare, and in that time, she has done much learning. Learning of the new world around her, and what wonders a far more modern Equestria brings. With all light, comes darkness, and she of all knows this well. The texts she spends time flipping through often do tell of dark, unpleasant things, but all have seemed to be in the past.
Venturing into the world around her, spending nights high in the skies over cities and walking down long town roads, she is quick to discover the present holds its own secrets. In the shadows of accomplishment hides a beast which she is determined to slay.
I've always loved Luna fics that delved into the realm of dreamspace. There's just so much fertile ground for good stories. Life In Boxes takes this to a whole new level, though.
We begin simply enough with a mare sneaking through the streets and a Luna bent on figuring out why. And when we do, oh man… Mental illness caused by unkempt dreams? That's a concept I can get behind! Not only is it unique, but it gels so perfectly with Luna's fears from the Freaky Friday episode (and I wouldn't be surprised if that's where CoffeeBean got the idea from).
The transitions of real world to dream realm are some of my favorite bits of flavor this fic offers, and there's some fun world building in regards to the Night Guard.
It has a tendency to be overbearing in its word choice and adjectives, but presents us a nonetheless refreshing Luna story. I can't wait to see where it goes from here.
have to admit, my first thought at seeing this title was:
For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
Which is pretty funny considering that Luna taking tea is one of the first things that happens. If you’re anything like me, than good prose style is your jam and this story will definitely feed that hunger. There is a reason, after all, that I’ve followed Coffeebean since 2016 or so. As I’ve come to expect, descriptions are vivid, and occasionally even lyrical. There’s also a wonderfully introspective bent to even the more active bits, where we are never without the shadowing hoofsteps of Luna’s unspoken--and spoken--anxieties and sorrows. Plumbing the depths of Luna’s psyche as we imagine it has been a past time of FimFiction for a long time, and somehow I still find examples that feel fresh and well executed. This is certainly one of those times.
STORY 4
Queen of Clubs, by Horizon
A delinquent young alicorn named Luna just transferred to the Royal Crystal Academy, and Drying Paint has fallen head-over-hooves in love. But she doesn't care about him — or seemingly anything, except for the dark, mysterious gathering place she disappears to on weekends.
Paint might just find a chance to win her heart there. But the shadows hold dangers he never would have expected, and everyone must walk into the darkness alone.
Leave it to horizon to write a Stupid, Sexy Luna story. The guy's almost as much of a Luna fanatic as I am. Seriously, I think he might have a problem. (That problem being he doesn't love Sunset Shimmer just as much.)
All joking aside, origin stories are a soft spot for me. Seeing how our heroines became heroines or how the villains we love to hate got their start sates an ever-present curiosity in my head.
The story begins simply enough, as described in the synopsis, but what the synopsis doesn't tell you (just as a synopsis shouldn't!) is just what this mysterious place Luna goes to is, or the boundaries Dried Paint is willing to cross for the sake of his newfound crush. I'll summarize that by reminding you it's tagged tragedy.
The writing within isn't quite up to par with most horizon stories, but it's still a top quality story with plenty of Luna and just a dash of highschool angst to get the tone right. And the impact the ending had is just… Damn.
Whatever your stance is on tragedy fics, give this one a shot. It just might surprise you.
So, I should be transparent here: This fic was won honors in a contest that I need to finish sending prizes for, but have been sidetracked in. It won honors for a reason. I’m going to gush about Horizon and about this story, but first, the opening line:
When the dark alicorn introduced herself to the Imperial Academy by making a rude hoof gesture at the entire class, Drying Paint knew it was love at first sight.
Right away, I knew this was going to be a treasure. And I was very, very right. Horizon has a way of getting under your skin, slipping past the shields like a knife in the Dune books, too slow and yet sudden all at once. He is always several steps ahead of you. Always. Watching Paint’s crush-and-maybe-obsession go in strange and tragic ways is a delight at almost every step of the way, and when its not just fun as hell to read a writer who understands what he is doing at an intimate level, its heartbreaking. Sometimes he appeals to me because he writes the kaizo post-modern bullshit-with-a-heart that I crave. Here? It’s because he kept the heart front and center, and every moment is worth it.
Matthew frowned from where he stood in the hospital room doorframe. He watched the nurse run out from the room shaking her head and mumbling something about “every goshdang review day.”
“You know,” he said, “if you guys were having a flea problem, you could have just said so.”
Corejo tried shaking his fist at him, but the full body cast only let him wobble in place a bit. “We couldn't do that… How would that make Squirrel feel? You know he's the one that brought them in.”
Matthew sighed and shook his head. “Did you at least get the reviews done before you blew up half the base?”
“They're in the safe!” Cynewulf said from the other hospital bed. She, like Corejo, lay in the other hospital bed in a full body cast. “Right where I told Ferret we'd leave them. I almost didn’t make it trying to think of a way to work in an ‘Concluding Unscientific Postscript’ joke...”
Matt breathed a sigh of relief. That meant at least another week without Ferret bringing her furry wrath down upon them.
“Okay, cool… so, uh, do I just, like, um…”
“Don't worry about us,” Corejo said. “We'll be out of here in no time.” He gave a thumbs up and in the process snapped his cast at the wrist. “Owww…”
Matt offered him a strained smile and backed out of the room. If he said so… Whatever. Time to go clean up the mess… again…
He jammed his hands in his jean pockets and slumped back to base. Maybe Intern would help him this time instead of getting locked in the broom closet again.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Thank you both for the kind review! I'd been in a rut for a while (and am kind of back in one) for feeling motivated to write anything, but for a couple months, this one kept me going. It was a lot of fun.
Oh hey something I worked on
Wow, thank you both for the glowing review of Life In Boxes! I'm flattered, honestly. I really need to work on that story harder...
Yay, Roam-Springa! :D Also Queen of Clubs.
Ooh, I think this is the first time I've read two of the stories you've done in a post!
Crimson Lips is a treasure
It is definitely the story I'm most hanging on for updates at the moment. And Chapter V is the most perfect thing.
Roam-Springa was a lovely exploration of a little-seen character, and it tied in with the backstory to The Perfect Pear beautifully. It suggests a pattern that Epic Yarn is busy thoroughly confirming: to bring wonderful sweetness to a story, add lots of Chiffon Swirl (young Mrs. Cake).
-SLAMS DOOR DOWN-
thank u for your very nice comments, i love you both
4939221
OH COME ON!!! I literally just fixed that door...
/cry
Aw, thank you for the shout-out and review!
It still kind of boggles me how positive the reception has been for my bizarre ahistorical high-school tragic drama.
It's in really good company this round — I've heard nothing but praise for both Crimson Lips and Roam-Springa. 4939221 and 4938847 definitely deserve the spotlight, and given that Life in Boxes made the cut along with them, it goes right on the reading list.
YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH ABOUT MY WAIF—
—er … huh. Oh. … Hmm. … Well, this is awkward. You've got a point. I haven't actually written any stories starring baconhair yet.
I'm going to have to do something about that. 😬
Oh geez, that's one for the Wall of Egoboo. :D