• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Firesight


I'm an IT Brony who writes stories based on a show for 8-year old girls whose content is meant for anything but 8-year old girls.

More Blog Posts678

  • 6 days
    C&C update and teaser

    The new chapter is closing on 11k words, and it might well be up over 15k when all is said and done. Too far past that, and I’ll have to think about breaking it up again. I’ve gotten close to finishing the first and last (fourth) sections, with the second section at 70% done and the third, about 30%. But the third is in some ways the most crucial, given that’s where you’re going to learn what’s

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    4 comments · 134 views
  • 2 weeks
    Signal boost for AJA's update to Equestria Mystery Dungeon

    Still stuck at home for at least one more week for his long convalescence from surgery, AJ_Aficionado updated his M-rated crossover fiction Equestria Mystery Dungeon for the first time in two years:

    [Adult story embed hidden]

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    1 comments · 59 views
  • 2 weeks
    Just another manic Monday...

    Wish it were Sunday. That’s my fun day.

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    2 comments · 148 views
  • 3 weeks
    As a thank-you to Feathered Hearts readers...

    For all the love and support I’ve gotten the last couple weeks over my blog posts on the story, I’ve decided it’s only fair to reward everyone with a new C&C chapter, which I will be starting this week. It will be sharing creative space with the next chapter of Midnight Rising, which I’m in the middle of writing as we speak, but I’ll aim to have a completed C&C draft out in three weeks,

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    6 comments · 176 views
  • 3 weeks
    Revamped Midnight Rising chapter launches tonight

    Sorry for the delay. Was waiting for final prereads to come in, and I’ve been sick this past week with what might have been the norovirus due to symptoms I’d rather not mention.

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    2 comments · 103 views
Sep
10th
2018

Turnabout Storm parts 53-54 (confession and duel chapters) updated with major changes · 5:17pm Sep 10th, 2018

Thanks go to Denim_Blue, AJ_Aficionado and Silentwoodfire for getting to all this so quickly. There were three major upgrades to Part 53 - Fight or Flight, which is Sonata's confession chapter. Taking them all in order:

1. How did Sonata evade the Magatama?

Assuming the modified events of Part 24 - Double Blackmail, where Phoenix suspected Sonata of involvement in the attack on him but she didn't trigger the Magatama, there has to be valid reason why. Here it is, and it also plays into both why she tried to frame Rainbow afterwards:


The Judge rapped his gavel sharply three times to control the sudden upsurge of conversation from the stands. “Ms. Sonata! Are you… confessing?” No matter how many times he saw Phoenix pull off his turnabouts, they were somehow always as unexpected as they were improbable—and this, he reflected, was in many ways the unlikeliest one of all!

“I am, Your Honor,” she confirmed, all her earlier defiance now gone. “I no longer trust my own memories of that night, but I do know that Mister Wright is correct. That the one who killed Ace… was me.” She closed her eyes and bowed her head in shame.

The courtroom erupted in a mixture of surprise and disbelief; none more so than from Trixie, who was staring at Sonata slack-jawed, all but struck speechless. In the gallery, Applejack exhaled sharply in relief while Rarity fainted again, Spike and Fluttershy struggling to hold her up and fan her.

Phoenix chanced a glance up towards the gallery and caught Fluttershy’s gaze, feeling his heart warm at her smile she gave him. None of this would have been possible without you, Fluttershy… he told her with his thoughts, resolving to give her another huge hug first chance he got. My victory and even my life… I owe them both to you! Returning his gaze to Sonata, he let his smile fall as he asked, “So my theory of the crime was correct?”

“It was,” she admitted in great pain, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. “I’ve been hiding from the truth behind a wall of memory suppression spells and painkiller pills, but you forced me to confront it… and now accept it,” she told him.

“I’m sorry. ‘Memory suppression spells’?” The Judge prompted before Phoenix could.

“Yes, Your Honor,” Sonata said as she slumped. “It’s a spell of my own creation and one I’ve used to escape incrimination in the past, though in this case I used it to hide from my own actions. By casting it, I can temporarily purge my memory of certain events and even my knowledge of the spell itself. My memories are stowed in a specially-treated memory crystal I keep nearby and then recovered automatically later after the spell wears off.”

“Really? And you came up with that on your own?” Twilight sounded impressed.

“Yes, Miss Sparkle. Though at this point, it’s only a source of of shame to me,” Sonata confirmed, looking anything but proud. “At the point the spell is cast, I remember nothing about the target memories or even casting the spell. That way, I not only appear innocent, but in my heart… I am innocent and thus give no tells or clues. In fact, I cast one yesterday when you entered my hotel room following the attack on you, Mister Wright. As I had ordered that attack, I was afraid of my own reactions giving me away if I remembered doing it.”

Phoenix blinked hard at that, his eyes widening in realization. So THAT’S how she spoofed the Magatama yesterday! It shows secrets in someone’s heart, but at that point... the secret wasn’t IN her heart! he finally realized, making a mental note again to never trust in his Magatama’s supposed infallibility, reflecting his over-reliance on it had led him astray for the second time in as many cases.


2. Rape angle

Moving on, there were two major complaints I saw about this chapter from the earlier release, from prereaders and commenters alike. I'll start with the simplest and most direct one: the rape angle. In hindsight, after discussing the chapter revamp with prereaders, that was much too jarring and unnecessary. Ace threatening to kill Sonata is more than enough and as such, the rape angle has been completely struck from the chapter and Ace’s actions.

That said, the shift to first-person remains for Sonata's Twilight-assisted memory playback accounting for events, as I'm quite pleased with that part otherwise, which I thought really brought out the suspense and fear she felt. Which brings me to the second major complaint and change of the chapter: the memory playback itself.


3. The memory playback spell and why it's not acceptable as evidence

Complaints there were twofold: that a) if that can be done, why not do it to start, and b) Rainbow's innocence is established right then and there while in the videos, there's no proof. To address these points, you have to establish reasons why a) memory playback spells are not generally performed or admissible in court, and b) why Sonata's confession does not settle the case. So to that end, I expanded on what was already present as follows:


“If you won’t fight, then I will!” Trixie promised, finally rousting herself from her dumbstruck stupor. “Your Honor, the prosecution does not consent to a confession extracted in such a manner! Memory playbacks can be magically manipulated and are thus inadmissible as a matter of law!”

“Perhaps. But they can be requested by a witness and used as supporting evidence to back that witness’s accounting of events, if the presiding judge consents,” Sonata countered, her legal mind re-engaging. “I am making such a request now, Your Honor, and I will formally waive my right against self-incrimination to do so. I make this request in support to—not in place of—a regular confession, which I will be happy to give as well.”

“Hmmm…” The Judge considered her words carefully, stroking his beard as he thought. “What do you think, Mister Wright?”

Phoenix scratched his chin, intrigued yet greatly troubled by the prospect. “It almost sounds like this world’s equivalent of a lie detector, Your Honor,” he noted. “And you know the rules governing that.”

“Indeed,” The Judge nodded gravely. “Lie detectors are generally not admissible as evidence because their results are considered unreliable and they can be fooled by skilled witnesses.”

Exactly! And the same holds true here as well!” Trixie spoke up. “A skilled unicorn can spoof the spell to project false memories, and there have even been documented cases of traumatized unicorns involuntarily rewriting their memories! That is why memory playback spells are not normally admissible as evidence!”

“She’s right, Your Honor,” Twilight confirmed. “By Equestrian law, memory magic is not considered authoritative as testimony or evidence as it is far from infallible. Doubly so if she’s already been casting memory alteration spells on herself repeatedly, which can have lingering and unpredictable effects.”

...

“Ms. Sonata,” The Judge spoke first, a gentler note in his voice. “Can you confirm that what we witnessed was an accurate retelling of events?”

“I… I don’t know,” she replied, her voice audibly trembling. “And that’s the truth, Your Honor. I simply don’t know after all the memory magic I’ve used on myself these past few days. I’ve been in such denial and cast so many suppression spells that my memories can no longer be trusted. Regardless, I th-thank you, Miss Sparkle. I know how hard that was on you.”

“I see. Miss Sparkle?” he addressed Twilight next. “As you had no prior connection to these events, can you vouch for this… recording’s… authenticity?” he asked, not certain what else to call it and having no precedents from his many cases he could draw on for accepting such evidence.

“I c-can vouch that what you saw is what she remembers, Your Honor,” an equally shaky Twilight responded, sitting back hard on her haunches, her reeling mind still filled with Sonata’s memories… and emotions. Twilight could project the sounds and images but couldn’t convey the sheer terror the other mare recalled experiencing during the ordeal…

A terror that Twilight had now experienced directly for herself. “I cannot promise these events happened as you saw, but I can promise I projected her current memories of them accurately. Like I said… I c-couldn’t have modified them even if I w-wanted to,” she further explained, taking several deep, gulping breaths, feeling herself breaking out in a cold sweat of her own. And even if I could, I certainly would have never come up with… THAT!

...

The Judge nodded slowly. “Very well, then. Though I cannot, given the uncertainties surrounding Ms. Sonata’s account, declare Ms. Dash innocent until the witness confession is validated by additional evidence, I will withdraw my verdict pending that validation... though I’m afraid that given both the prosecutor and defense attorney are now facing contempt citations, the renewed investigation must be performed by new counsels,” he informed both Trixie and Phoenix.

“But Your Honor...!” Phoenix started to protest, only to be cut off a sharp shake of The Judge’s head.

“I’m sorry, Mister Wright, but I have already bent the rules enough for both of you and my decision is final. You may at least leave this case knowing you have laid the groundwork for your client’s exoneration, but I regret that given your earlier transgressions against the rules of this court, I cannot allow you to stay to reach it yourself. Are these terms understood?” he asked Phoenix.

They are, Your Honor,” Phoenix acknowledged, feeling very troubled, not just for being yanked off the case but for being unable to shake the nagging feeling that he had missed something important.

“It’s okay, Phoenix. That’ll give me enough time to pass the bar exam and take over the defense myself,” Twilight promised him with a smile. “You got us this far. I promise I’ll complete the investigation myself and get Rainbow that not guilty verdict.”

“Thanks...” he said, but was still worried that they didn’t have the full truth. But regardless of the uncertainty of her own memories, Sonata’s not lying now. So how could there still be something wrong...?


Hopefully all that establishes why the memory playback is not authoritative and why The Judge cannot dismiss charges against Rainbow Dash based on that alone.

As for Part 54 - Duel of the Fates, that's the magic duel chapter. I changed the title to that of one of the title music, which I consider one of the best musical tracks of the Star Wars prequel soundtrack: Duel of the Fates. It works on several levels as in this story, Twilight and Trixie and two sides of the same coins, representing both opposites in powers and paths taken. Canon has (sadly) destroyed the idea of Trixie as a powerful unicorn in her own right, but I still consider her magical potential quite great and in this AU she found motivation and help to realize it.

I've removed all but one of the Frozen refrences from the chapter, and plan to clean up the bulk of the Frozen references going forward as they were overdone. I do reiterate, however, that the idea of Trixie having weather powers can be drawn from the show (she created a small cloud with lightning bolt to use against the Ursa Minor and when she was under the influence of the Alicorn Amulet she created much more powerful storms), and the idea of her having ice powers actually predates Frozen for me--I first thought of it as I liked the idea of her having an opposing power to Twilight.

Most of the rest of the chapter remains intact, however, as I didn't think it needed many changes, effectively telling Trixie's backstory in the course of her duel with Twilight, who's peeking in on Trixie's memories as she does so.

Comments ( 1 )

They are, Your Honor,” Phoenix acknowledged, feeling very troubled, not just for being yanked off the case but for being unable to shake the nagging feeling that he had missed something important.

“It’s okay, Phoenix. That’ll give me enough time to pass the bar exam and take over the defense myself,” Twilight promised him with a smile. “You got us this far. I promise I’ll complete the investigation myself and get Rainbow that not guilty verdict.”

“Thanks...” he said, but was still worried that they didn’t have the full truth. But regardless of the uncertainty of her own memories, Sonata’s not lying now. So how could there still be something wrong...?

Hang on, how does Wright get out of this one again? I don’t recall this, strangely...

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