TOP TEN PONES · 3:46am Sep 6th, 2018
Because my attempts to get any schoolwork done have been met with a brick wall, might as well throw all industrial motivations to the wind and do something completely pointless and fun at the same time! GM, who are the top ten best pones? you ask. I answer!
Ahem. This list is based not only on opinion, but on the opinion of a heavy fanfic writer who appreciates these characters for not only what they can do in the show, but also how their characters can open up other opportunities. Furthermore, I'm limiting myself to characters that could be considered regular protagonists - that means no princesses and no background ponies. Also no non-ponies. (Alas, Discord and Spike are left to the wayside!) That leaves only 12 ponies, but hey, I can rank them anyway. AHEM.
NUMBER TEN: Scootaloo (Behold the chicken) 
(look at me expertly picking images off google search woo!)
Scootaloo is at the bottom of the list. This is going to send some people into a mad bloodcurdling rage, but eh, that'd be true if I put anyone here. I can't deny that she's a great character that opens up many, MANY options for drama - disabled, likely orphaned, but full of so much spunk and energy you barely realize these facts about her. She's determined, serves as the brawn of the CMC trio, and is awesome-mini. I just don't use her that much. She gets pushed to the wayside by other characters. It may be because I don't identify with her that much, seeing as her life is possibly the furthest thing from what I've experienced. Makes me feel sad for her, yeah... but in many ways I'm not always sure what to make of her. So she's down here. Sad.
NUMBER NINE: Rainbow Dash (This baby can break so many sound barriers)
Liquid Awesomeness only goes so far. Sure, Rainbow Dash has that going for her, but beyond that? Granted, she also has Loyalty, a hidden bookishness about her she tries not to show, and the attitude of a fandom diehard. But she's also all about athletics and sports and that kind of just goes over my head. Funnily enough, she used to be my favorite pony back when I was first getting into the show. I probably latched onto her as a self-defense mechanism - "right, fine, I can like the show, but the best part has to be the awesome part." I have since grown out of this and Rainbow has dropped down considerably. She works well in writing as a pony willing to jump to violence a bit faster, but she's not the BEST for this option. There is another...
NUMBER EIGHT: Twilight Sparkle (Evening Sporkle)
The main protagonist of the show, princess of friendship, bookish alicorn, and master of magic all rolled into one. From a lore standpoint she's absolutely central - she has power, she has a fate, she has a history, and she's the cornerstone of the show. Too bad her overall personality isn't as interesting as the others. Sure, she's an introvert who really learned over time how to interact socially and engage in deep friendships, so much so to get a public office. But her personality doesn't seem as deep as the rest. She's absolutely adorkable and I love her, but she's not the best. She's... kinda neutral, actually. Fitting for a great protagonist, but not best pone.
NUMBER SEVEN: Trixie Lulamoon (THE GREAT AND POWERFUL) 
When I first joined the fandom I thought Trixie was just a meme character that existed to be funny a couple times and that was it. And then I got to watch as she went from two-hit-wonder to ERMAGERSH SHE'S A REGULAR CHARACTER ON THE SHOW. I think we were all glad when Trixie not only got her big chance in the spotlight, but got it MANY times. She's become more than just a regular, she's been the focus of several episodes as one of the heroes. But this fact only gets her ON the list. Why is she good?
Because she's a below-average self-absorbed illusionist, that's why. In a world of colorful ponies and friendship, she's a reminder that some people are just full of themselves - and that we have to learn to live with that. They may learn bit by bit, but they also have a little voice inside of them saying "I'm GREAT and POWERFUL and SCREW THE REST OF YOU." She's also not the most heroic individual - delving into cowardice a lot of the time. It's great for drama. That said, she can be a bit annoying sometimes, and not in a funny way. She's great, but not the best.
NUMBER SIX: Sweetie Belle (Weaponized Cuteness) 
This is Sweetie Belle. She is adorable. She's learned to turn her adorable nature into a weapon by which to manipulate others. She's smart, loves her sister, is talented and is definitely the CMC who speaks to me the most. Most people look at her and see "aww, adorable singing pony with a great heart!" I look and her and see "she could rule the world with all that power." I see a mastermind in the making - for good or evil though? Well, that depends on the story that needs telling now doesn't it? We should learn to beware Sweetie.
((also she's really, really fun to run through the AU machine for some reason.))
NUMBER FIVE: Sunset Shimmer (MY EYES!!!) 
I have been put on record saying that Sunset Shimmer is best waifu material. I still stand by this claim, even though I'm not the guy who does the whole 'waifu' thing. Or the shipping thing. ...I'm an odd duck. Regardless, Sunset Shimmer is powerful, strong, smart, and surprisingly sure of herself considering her past. She's also a unicorn, not a human, so you can shut up. Since her primary flaw is her anger, well, that just makes her a lot easier to push to violence than other ponies (though, again, she isn't the BEST for this, though she is the most rage-ey). She's also just... great. Look at her design, she's on fire. Look at her story, it's great (after the first part). Just... FIAR! BURN!
...Ahem. In all realism, Sunset is a great character who unfortunately had a rocky start with how her 'redemption' was handled, which is a very large dent on her for me. Large enough to kick her down a peg, just below...
NUMBER FOUR: Starlight Glimmer (I See...) 
Glim Glam is better than the Shimmy, if only because Starlight's redemption arc and story seem more fleshed out than Sunset's. Now, many people like to say that they're the same character, but that's not true at all. Sunset has anger and rage issues - Starlight's issues stem less from her age and more from her different way at looking at the world. When Sunset see something she doesn't like she wants to punch it - when Starlight sees something she doesn't like, she goes out of her way to change it. She keeps control of her anger and twists things the way she wants: often using magic in ways it shouldn't.
This makes Starlight the best character to push to violence - Sunset will just punch something. Starlight will make a ploy to ensure the enemy's defeat AND that it will never come back to bite her again. She'll maintain her cool (in most cases) and get the job done without devolving into petty shouting (unless something goes wrong).
She's also got a great snarky streak, has way too much magical power (which isn't a negative for me), and has more interesting relationships to work with than other characters. She's great. I also have a special connection to her, since when I first joined the fandom I only knew her as a villain. I've seen her grow throughout her entire journey, which forms some kind of connection the others don't have.
NUMBER THREE: Rarity (Belle? ...How do last pony names work?)
I used to hate Rarity. I found her annoying, whining, overdramatic, and disgustingly feminine. She was just too much for me and I reveled in my hatred of who she was and what she stood for. I threw her away.
I wasn't as prejudiced against her when I started writing, but she was still worst pone to me simply because her flaws were so pronounced and she wasn't appealing. I didn't identify with her. I still don't. But out of all the characters I've written, she's surprised me the most. I'm one of those people who doesn't exactly know what the characters are going to do until they do it much of the time, and she's derailed things more than once. She's proven herself to be stronger than expected, she's proven herself to be shrewd and able to talk her way out of situations I'd designed to be impossible, and she's shown a mind sharper and more tenacious than even Twilight's at times. Perhaps it's because she has a different sort of intelligence - a sort of intuition about the way the world works.
She's done this enough times that, to me, she's proven herself. She's revealed her depths - a complex character with heavy flaws on display is not something to despise, it's something to adore. Her frissyness and posh nature are part of deeper set characterization options. She's just such a rich, amazing character, and I'm embarrassed to admit I used to hate her.
NUMBER TWO: Fluttershy (Beware the nice ones)
And you thought Rarity had depth as a character.
Let me introduce you to Fluttershy. Perpetually shy, meek, and very annoying character who drove me insane.
Oh wait. That was before. Now she's a package of kindness, surprising amounts of confidence, gentleness, and a truly preposterous amount of sass. I love the sass. I love it so much. She's recovered from the major hardship life threw at her and has basically ended up without any major weaknesses. She has the potential to be stronger than all her friends. her kindness being nearly impossible to corrupt. She's just... Well, I wouldn't say perfect, but she's pretty darn close on a moral standpoint. This transformation has allowed her to connect deeply with just about every person she encounters, making her a prime candidate to TALK to ANYONE. She'll be meek when required, but she can also raise that incredulous eyebrow of hers and make a snide remark that cuts right to the center of the issue.
Fluttershy isn't really shy anymore. She's become adaptable.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: Applejack and Applebloom. Sorry you two, you're just less interesting than all the others. AJ, you used to be very high up the list in my early days, and you serve an important role as the straight mare, but you're otherwise kinda static. Applebloom, you certainly grow, but out of all the CMC you're the least interesting. You do get points for going crazy that one time. I like you both, but sorry.
NUMBER ONE: Pinkie Pie (Hi everyone!)
This is probably a surprise to absolutely nobody. I love the ponk. I love her laughable, loveable self. I love how funny she is. I love how, on the surface, she looks like a ditzy happy-all-the-time girl, but is actually pretty smart when it comes to other ponies. She wants nothing more than to make others smile - and she DOES seem to throw everything else to the wind in order to fulfill that goal, but I think that just makes her more endearing. She has an oblivious streak somewhat like my own. She's Laughter - and my life goal is to find the Truth in life and to make people Laugh - or Smile. Or just to bring enjoyment. In that way, we are alike. Though I'm not quite as hyperactive as I used to be (yeesh girl, take a chill pill.)
But that's just her basics. And that's definitely not all there is, oh no no no! She's got more! She's got a switch that can be pushed to turn her evil and murderous, twisting a story into something horrifying. Her emotions are some of the most complicated things on this planet - at some times she's able to bounce of insults and damage like it's nothing, others the slightest word can cut her right to the core and devastate her, but she can also come out of her stupor in an instant. It's fascinating how DYNAMIC she is.
Of course, we couldn't end this without talking about the fourth wall and how her awareness of it makes opportunities for stories. You can adjust her slider however you want for fanfics - is she nigh-omnipotent, or does she barely know anything about the medium she's in? You decide. Show leaves it vague enough that anywhere on the slider can be true. And as anyone who's read my stuff knows, I love the meta. I like playing with the existence of stories within stories, or philosophy of fiction, etc. Not to mention her ability to be cartoon physics allows her to hurry the plot along in ways that are normally frowned upon - but because she's Pinkie Pie, she can cheat. It makes our lives easier and more interesting.
She's there to spread laughs. And sometimes give you existential horror. But mostly laughs.
And that is why she is the best pony.
-GM, master of PONK.
"Who is best pony?" has been an interesting question for the entirety of this fandom's existence. It says so much about the respondent, offers insight on a number of levels to what they value, how they see the characters, how they see themselves. Thank you for giving us a look into you through cartoon horses.
Also, if one were to open the field to secondary, background, and nonpony characters, would the list change any?
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Discord, Spike, and Luna would definitely make it onto the list if I allowed some space (Discord being in the top four). But with such awesomeness, I'm not sure the background ponies would even register at that point. (For the record, the Doctor's amazing, with Vinyl at a close second.)
-GM, master of QUESTIONS!!!
Is it possible to have a flaming ball of turnips that instantly kills everything it touches?