There was a Ninja, some woman with green hair named Gertrude, probably my sister Vengeance, and Lord Skywalker. You know. The one that likes to snorkle.) colabed on a story! Better living through golem making and living alone in the woods. Patreon reward for A.P.O.N.I. · 5:09am Aug 20th, 2018
Welcome Readers! Tonight we continue our journey through the wonderful planet of… wherever this book takes place! Again, our journey into less trope heavy RPG World Land is a Patreon reward for A.P.O.N.I.
Quick recap, a forest hobo exploding a sonic eagle prompting a little girl to accept that she might be left in the woods alone for a few days. Also, an imp was reduced to mist when a 25-pound cat landed on it.
There, now that I’ve, no doubt, explained everything with perfect clarity, let’s continue.
This chapter opens up with Threadbare following said little girl into the bathroom and watching her undress… in all seriousness, the idea that he had no idea that humans wore clothes and just shaped shifted is pretty amusing.
Actually… That begs the question as to if changelings actually have a wardrobe or if they’re just born looking like they’re on their way to a Goth music convention.
He also is getting smarter and we get to learn this without all the bold text. Yippy!
And then he gets smarter some more and this requires more bold text. Booo!
AND THEN WE’RE TREATED TO SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS IN BOLD CAPS AS A QUEST IS BEING OFFERED. MAYBE SIMPLE ITALICS WOULD HAVE WORKED BETTER? Just saying… It’s eye-catching, without it being quite as jarring.
Anyhow Mordecai comes back and Celia takes Threadbare and some toys to animate out on the camping trip. The two go for a hike and Celia starts getting bonuses that don’t require more bold unlike Threadbare and she even levels up in human, because humans are natural wanderers, which makes for a rather subtle if odd way to make some philosophical statements about people as a race. Hopefully, no one has gotten a human level while whining or sitting on the toilet.
They come across a couple of creatures that are basically the stupider version of Rocket Raccoon. It seems some trash pandas in this world have seen how nice humans treat pets and have enough smarts to make crude masks that look vaguely animal and say stuff like ‘kity’ and ‘dogy’, but humans want nothing to do with them because of their temperament.
And I’m calling bullshit.
World building is all fine and good, but we are a race that will bring in a broken Roomba to the local Best Buy and tell Geek Squad Agent that we want THAT Roomba fixed and returned because it’s now part of the family. You know what’s very human?! Pack bounding with anything and everything. Do you really think the fact that the sentient semi-literate raccoons where ornery would stop people from adopting their little rabies-prone fur babies?! Lemme tell you that there’s probably a bunch people out there that have homes just full of these guys and those people maxed out their human levels because that’s about as human as you can get.
Okay, back to the--
No… No… I’m sorry, just… Militaries would start feeding and fielding shock tropes of these little guys! Entire armies would be based around how many raccoon-soldiers a nation could conscript. I’m now more than a little upset that the author decided to offhandedly introduce a new fantasy race like this instead of just starting the family with their own little Rocket that was the second beloved pet after the cat kicked his ass a few times!
Anyway’s Mordacai talks more about how the Raccants aren’t good or bad and—What the hell?! If they aren’t bad and want free food then these should be semi neighbor-pets! I don’t… This entire book should just be about people and Raccants!
This could be everyone! Except that it would have a mask with a crude drawing of a rodent that says ‘faeret’, could darry a spear, and it’d kill on command!
Ugh… whatever… He says some… world building nonsense about monsters making dungeons for people to level up in. Also, they reach the literal END of the world where a King asked a Wizard of the ominous sounding name to seal of the kingdom and he banked a part of the land and if you go enough you see nothing but numbers and might even BECOME numbers if you go too far and I better not find out all you assholes are just in a video game somewhere.
Anyhow there’s more camping and true to his word, Mordecai abandons a child in the woods. Although she has a Threadbare. They do some more camping/survival stuff like cooking and eating wildlife, being bombarded with intrusive stat increases, and fighting a bush.
The chapter ends with a buncha Raccants charging because apparently, people in this land are too stupid to make them pets and—You know what? You’ve brought this on yourself humanity. Seriously… This this is all fighting that could have been avoided if the characters packed a modest sack of trash with them!
Yes. Totally worth an eye being put out now and again. Screw it! Everyone just wears goggles and... Yes... matching goggles for the pet raccoons! This is all the OPPOSITE of a problem
Again, this was a Patreon reward for A.P.O.N.I. and if all goes well enough, next chapter review should hit in about a week.
Had to catch up on all of the review blogs for this this far. This looks like a fascinating form of insanity indeed.
Depends on whether or not there are any regular polyhedra in the number soup.
wait hang on, which book is this?
4928391
Threadbare: Stuff and Nonsense
4928494
Thanks!