Long Absence · 8:02pm Aug 5th, 2018
So, some of you may be wondering why I haven't updated anything since early June.
Well, simply put, I haven't been writing. At all. On either this, or my main account. And I think I finally know why.
To say it's been frustrating to not be able to write is an understatement. I've had the time; I've had the means; I've had the plots for everything figured out. There is no reason why I shouldn't have been writing anything. No reason why I shouldn't have three more chapters of Sexual Shenanigans out, or something along those lines.
Well, I have depression. I've had an episode before; this time last year, before I made this account, I was in the middle of a particularly bad episode, but I had moved past it. Or so I thought.
People like to think that if you take a creative guy and add depression to him, they make good art. Picasso, van Gogh, Poe, and several others stand as testament to that fact. But I am not like them. For starters, I'm not even a terribly decent writer; I just write horse porn that I would personally jack to, and in come the likes.
Anyway, I'm not like them because I write most (and best) when I'm motivated to do so. And I'm not motivated to do so right now,m courtesy of that depression. I am motivated when I am content with current circumstances, which presently, I am not, because I really don't want to have fucking depression. I'm trying to write, though, dammit. I'm trying to get even a PWP chapter for Sexual Shenanigans out, starring Shining and Trixie. I blocked out where I want things to go, like how to resolve the "main plot" (even though all it is is a set up to more interesting pairings) and who else I'd like to add. And so far, I've gotten next to nowhere. Hell, I've tried to write even one-shot clop stories, some fetishy, some not so much. Only make it halfway in before I lose interest.
I'm trying. Just bear with me. Those of you who do write and have depression probably can understand. I know Akumokagetsu has these issues, as do several other writers. Some deal with them better, others not so much. I'm one of the others. Anyway, I don't want to eat up too much of your time. Just wanted to give you a heads up that yes, I am still here, and I am still trying to produce content, but it's just a slow go at the moment.
Also, Bronycon '18 was awesome. Got to meet Shakespearicles, Gary Oak, and several others. First Bronycon too. So disappointed '19 is going to be the final year, but that's just the way it goes. Fandom in its waning years, it was only a matter of time till the flagship con went.
Ironically I'm pretty new to the fandom (I started watching last year in November).
As someone who has a long experience with depression... I can understand your problem.
Hope you get better and you might be not the best writer, but people like me still like your stuff.
Oh..... and don't force yourself to write, if things take time, they take time.
Chin up, we got you