Blood on the Radio · 11:10pm Aug 3rd, 2018
So you may have been wondering, 'Where the fuck is koren with my second part?' and the answer to that is that I've been working a lot lately. (Also, if you listened to this post's song, you may be wondering, what the fuck is this and where can I get more of it, because it's just that awesome.)
So much so that I had a 19 hour day not too long ago. As the story goes, I picked up a job with my little brother at a fast food joint. Then I got called for a better job that was full time and I took that job. It took a week to get my schedule figured out, but at the current moment It looks like I might be working 7 days a week.
In addition, NATG started up without warning (90% sure it started a month earlier this year) and I promised myself I'd do it again this time, so pretty much all of my free time has been devoted to that before I go work for 9 hours, then come home, pass out, and repeat.
I'm going to take advice from a podcast host I respect and try to get an hour of writing in every day from now on before I draw, but progress has been slow because I'm in a bit of a slump too. I think I might've grouped all this 'heavy stuff' together and that doesn't make it fun to read in one sitting. Super is an optimistic tragedy, two words that seem like an oxymoron together, but that's really what I've been going for the whole time. People die, life changes, and whether or not you're ready for it, it moves on with or without you. There's a lot of crying in the last few chapters, so when I went to move on to this one, I think I've focused too much on a different feeling.
When I write, I'm there in the story. I'm either feeling what's going on, or I'm trying to empathize with whoever is the narrator at the time. Maybe I'm full of myself, but when I write sad things, I get emotional and wrapped up in it, and when I write happy moments, I'm there and reading my own work makes me smile. The problem with this current chapter is that I've decided to focus in on fear and shame. It is... difficult to convey the hollow feeling shame leaves you with while trying to build the tension required to get fear across. In a way, I think I might've psyched myself out preparing for this chapter because I'm just as afraid of dealing with Pinkie's family as she is. It's not the first time this has happened either. Israfel (1-4) went the same way. I can write the 'life as it goes' chapter without issue, but how do we deal with this immeasurable threat without getting killed? I don't know. When I can play a character who has the answers, I can just ask Celestia to tell me what to do, and she'll hand me a spear and a shield that can absorb energy. But when that proves only so effective, what happens next?
The greatest strength of my own writing I think is also my weakness. I get into it, and I'm there. How do I resolve an issue that I don't know how is going to play out? How many times can I go into a conflict like this and come out unscathed? How do I plan for a unit to do their job without coming away unhurt? Sometimes it just doesn't work like that, and Twilight looses her horn, or Applejack breaks her foreleg. When Pinkie is depressed and anxious about the things to come, so am I, and that makes it difficult to move forward.
However, as this man says, "Even if it's just a page a day, in 300 days, you have a book." So there's my goal and my statement. Until NATG ends, it might be pretty dry here, but I'll make an effort to make sure there's at least something every few weeks.
Until next time~
-KCZ
