The Quickening: What is happening to modern cartoons? · 3:16pm Jul 20th, 2018
Author's note: The following text was made for the subject of opinion; the goal was to build a humorous article, grounded in personal experiences. To take it seriously would be more absurd than what the lines they are about to read propose.
In American news, adult men are complaining that She-Ra, a children’s cartoon woman with a flying horse and a magic sword, isn’t hot enough for them to jerk off to.
What is happening to modern cartoons?
Remember when cartoons had decent drawings, incredible animation, original concepts? All was lost. Now everything is about the "cool" protagonist and everything is a joke, everyone is the greatest comedian of all time.
The most interesting aspect is that we've seen this since the first Shrek. From its first release poster, Dreamworks realized that having a "cool" character in the marketing would be enough to convince the audience to watch a movie. And guess what? They were right (even Disney gave up and started to use this in its more modern movies)! The same happens with modern cartoons. I mean, these are the requirements:
1. The main character tells jokes?
2. Will we "laugh at everything" every 5 seconds?
3. Does it has this smile?
4. The drawings look like shit?
If you answered yes to at least 2 of them, BOOM! There you have your modern cartoon!
And we could create new, repetitive shit with these elements everyday. But nooooooooo! The companies want to shit our childhoods!
You like Scooby-Doo? Let me shit on that!
You like the Teen Titans' unique personalities? Let me turn them into a band of fools with no brain!
What about She-Ra or Thundercats? LET! ME! SHIT! ON! THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!
Well Im willing to give She Ra a chance. More than Thundercats or PPG. But your right. Tho to make it clear I have seen the original when I was a lot younger and it really wasn't that good. Saw the original He Man as well and thought it was terrible.)