Milestone · 12:48am Jul 6th, 2018
My story reached 20 dislikes.
Woot.
I'm happy I caused such misery. I hope they comeback and suffer more. I hope they enjoyed their suffering.
7 people liked it. This makes me even more happy that I made something they enjoyed.
Hooray.
Keep reading and I will continue to create something that you all will love/hate for years to come.
Keep being cool people, people.
I assassinated John F Kennedy
4908536
Good job. It worked.
No shit it worked. Your plan was genius
4908811
Thank you.
I’m welcome.
4909060
You are.
4909184
Who do you plan to assassinate next?
4909349
The world.
4909548
Which world?
4909676
All of them.
4909826
Impressive, though still not impressive enough.
4910023
Dammit, foiled again.
4910241
Should’ve tried harder...
4910252
Don't worry. My loins are still half full.
4910262
What will you do then?
4910267
I can only tell you that involves copious amounts of rotten Italian food and various fruits..
4910268
Does it also involve Mauritania? You NEED that country involved or no matter what it will fail.
4910281
Pfft. I have that and Burkina Faso. Boom.
4910294
Wow! That’s incredible... never been done before. You must have something special planned in the capitals of Nouakchott and Ouagadougou!
4910300
Oh yes. There will be cake. But don't tell them that. It's a surprise.
4910310
I don’t want to ruin the surprise! What would happen if I did tell them that though?
4910318
They might eat all the cake before the party starts and that's just terrible.
4910417
Oh that would be worse than dropping a nuke on the two countries!
4910586
It's a fate worse than death.
But what if Mali invades Mauritania and eats all the cake before the party?
4910694
I will steal his hat.
4910721
You wouldn’t nuke the capital Bamako?
4910746
I will give them death by Snu-Snu.
4910748
That must be worse... what would that be exactly?
4910771
4910773
Shiver-me-timbers! You just brutally murdered my family!
4910792
Oh I will shiver your timbers alright.
4910878
Is that so?!
4910906
Like old Treebeard.
4911024
I am old Treebeard. The Mauritanian kind.
4911360
Oh Treebeard. Out of everyone I had been with. You were the tightest. I still have splinters.
4911438
But there are no trees in Mauritania, only sand!
4911444
Oh sorry. I thinking about someone I knew long ago... Have you ever eaten sand?
I only eat sand
4911482
Good.
4911493
That’s why I live in Niger
4911549
My body is like a dirt clot and sand is the medicine.
4911554
But I heard you’re the real Slim Shady
4911658
I am.
4911674
What does the real Slim Shady plan to do?
4911680
Stand up.
4911735
Stand Up like Ludacris?
4911767
He can't stand. He does not have legs. Only tentacles.
4911811
What if Drake only had tentacles
4911852
Who?