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PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords, and reviews both independently and for Seattle's Angels. New reviews posted every Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

More Blog Posts442

  • 6 days
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    The Crash Part II: Update

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    The Crash, Part II: With a Vengeance

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Jun
14th
2018

Paul's Thursday Reviews CXIX · 8:57pm Jun 14th, 2018

I’ve finally picked up steam. On Monday, after a week of steadily building up my wordcounts, I hit 2,000 words in a day for the first time in over a month. And since I’m hoping to hit 60k for June, I’m increasing my count even more, with the aim of reaching 3k/day next week. That’s going to be made harder by my decision to go visit my parents this weekend, but I’ve made these hurdles before.

I had forgotten how fast I can get things done when moving at this pace. Life of Pie’s Chapter 5 took all of last week to write the rough draft, but then the next chapter of my OF Fortune required only three days (two if you count overlaps as a single day). At this rate I’ll be back on schedule in no time. Which is great, because I was more than two weeks behind.

Now if only my review schedule would play along. Alas, it seems determined not to. My expectation for the future is that I’ll be reading stories closer and closer to their actual deadline in the coming weeks. This is my own fault though; I took a 250k+ story and threw it into the mix without the long-run scheduling I normally do, and now all the smaller stories can’t find room to get in. This is the entire reason I started the long-run scheduling in the first place, so lesson re-learned. From now on if someone has something time-sensitive they want me to read I suggest they get it to me as early as reasonably possible, because I don’t plan on doing this again if I can help it.

Alright, enough chit-chat. Reviews!

Stories for This Week:

The Flight of the Alicorn by Ponydora Prancypants
Silence by ThatOneWriter
The SweetieMash Chronicles by Justice3442
Giant Enemy Carb by Ponydora Prancypants
Without Another Word by Jack of a Few Trades
Imperfect by SPark
Lose Yourself by Mikleo
Eternity by Taialin
Suns and Roses by Cyrano
Why She Looks So Good by Aragon

Total Word Count: 389,180

Rating System

Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 3
Pretty Good: 4
Worth It: 3
Needs Work: 0
None: 0


During the events of Sweet & Elite, Rarity learns of the Alicorn’s Cup, an extremely rare international airship marathon. Seeing as Blueblood and Fancypants are both participating, she is of course determined to place her bets on Fancypants’ team, if only to spite Blueblood. But then the unexpected: Fancypants invites her to be the ‘fifth man’ on his ship and join the race personally. Filled with thoughts of adventure, personal achievement, and perhaps some brand recognition, she can’t say no. But, as these things go, there’s a lot more to this race than mere glory, and soon she finds herself caught in a massive web of political intrigue, bloody combat, and an international plot to bring war to Equestria.

Due to a range of scheduling oddities, by this time I have read three other stories by this author, one of which have yet to have its review published and the other being released at the same time as this one. I have to say: this is more like it. I’ve seen one abysmal showing, one that was meh but leaning towards good, and let’s not forget the overhyped mess that is Que Sera Sera. But this? This was awesome. This is the sign that Ponydora Prancypants has come into their own as a writer. The improvements are vast: plot development, character growth, grammar, writing style, everything is leagues better.

The story shows us the best and worst Rarity has to offer, making her truly shine as a character and giving her an epic tale truly worthy of her, all while keeping her personae from the show largely intact. The characters she meets are all interesting, her solutions range from the resourceful and tactical to outright dumb luck, and the situations she faces are always desperate.

Add to that some wonderful worldbuilding. We get strange new creatures (I particularly liked the jagugars), epic pony history revision, a look at pony/griffon cultural differences, and some lessons in airship design. We meet griffons, zebras, half-breeds, and even a camel (whom became one of the more interesting characters of this wonderful story).

But my favorite aspect was the ongoing relationship Rarity builds with Blueblood. Unlike lesser authors, Ponydora Prancypants never forgets that these two started out as bitter, spiteful enemies in the social arena of Canterlot. Now forced to work together for their mutual survival, that seed of loathing remains firmly rooted. At no point does the author abruptly ‘make them a couple because reasons’, but instead forces them to consistently confront, aggravate, and learn about one another. The struggle they face in just tolerating their mutual presence makes their final relationship at the end all the better, because they had to fight to get there in wonderful, character-driven ways. This is how you do relationship-building, people. Learn from it.

In the meantime, we’ve got an ongoing background conflict of technology vs. magic, epic magic duels, thrilling airship-based action, endless political intrigue, lots of wilderness survival struggles, mysterious historical and magical mysteries, legendary artifacts worthy of a Daring Do novel, and enough action and death-defying stunts to make Littlepip and Blackjack proud. Truly, this story’s got a little bit of everything, all wrapped up in a perfectly paced, ever-interesting ride.

Now that I’ve finished gushing about how awesome this story is, the ‘but’.

But: Ponydora Prancypants still has some issues to wrangle. For one, some of the dialogue can be a bit melodramatic, even for Rarity. This is especially true in the big final battle, where both combatants are basically spouting off ‘super dramatic let’s make this cooler with dialogue!’ nonsense rather than, y’know, fighting.

There are also a few rare scenes that become almost 100% talking heads. This isn’t so bad considering in those cases it was almost always 1-on-1 conversations, but it did make getting into the scene a lot harder. It was the worst in the epilogue, where Blueblood, his mother, and Rarity are talking back and forth for hundreds, if not thousands, of words with minimal narrative help in getting a bead on their emotional states.

The author also still tends to linger on LUS, although this is vastly improved compared to how it used to be. The real criminal act here is that somehow Ponydora Prancypants still thinks that nobody reading this story knows anything whatsoever about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Every character has to be introduced with color-codes and general descriptions, regardless of how common they are in-show. Also, if any event that took place in the show gets so much as mentioned, the author apparently felt obligated to describe those events in some detail, completely ignoring the fact that we, as fans, have almost certainly seen the episode in question (we’re talking Season 1 and 2 stuff, folks).

On the positive side, the author isn’t so heavy-handed with these respective flaws, letting them slip by quickly rather than lingering. That alone is a massive improvement from how Ponydora used to deal with these issues, so I’m willing to accept it in general. We should praise people when they show signs of clear betterment, after all. But it was still annoying.

And then there’s the real negative in all of this: Ponydora Prancypants hasn’t been on FIMFiction in almost three years as of this review. This story is supposed to be the start of a trilogy, and it now looks as though this trilogy will never be finished. The second story is only a few chapters in. This is nothing short of a felony that should be punishable with imprisonment and forced chaining to a computer until the tale is complete, because this series should have been finished. It is too awesome to die, but that’s exactly what it did.

I just hope that Ponydora Prancypants didn’t. No, seriously. I can see no explanation for this author’s disappearance, and that worries me.

At any rate, The Flight of the Alicorn is truly one of the greats of this site. I loved this story and am immensely saddened that it is over. If you haven’t read it yet, I strongly recommend doing so at the first opportunity. Truly, this is Rarity at her best.

Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Que Sera, SeraNeeds Work


Silence

1,210 Words
By ThatOneWriter

Octavia finally has a place to call her own. She also lives completely alone. Facing her first night ever away from home, she suffers from an intense bought of loneliness.

Being a complete introvert with little difficulty being alone for weeks at a time, I have some difficulty relating to the problem. Yet that wasn’t such a big hurdle. ThatOneWriter did a decent job of channeling Octavia’s problem clearly and in a way I could appreciate. Kudos, author, for painting this as a picture I could readily absorb.

The story faces an issue or two, mostly in the form of repetitive phrasing, but is decent enough in writing that I doubt anyone but the most ardent literary style nazis will be offended. It is also well-paced, achieving everything it needs to in its very short length. This is a rare skill that leaves me impressed.

All in all, not a bad addition to my bookshelves. Keep it up, ThatOneWriter.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Icky-Sicky Pinkie PieWorth It


What the hell did I just read?

This story is everything and nothing you expect. Ostensibly, it’s about the ongoing relationship between Sweetie Belle and Button Mash. Indeed, these two do star in the story. But if you’re here looking for something resembling romance, you will be disappointed.

In reality, this story is about stupid silly hijinks. For starters, the characters are eight years old, i.e. too young to be legitimately interested in romance and relationships. These same children talk and observe things in the manner of teenagers despite their age. To continue, we must assume the Cutie Mark Crusaders do outrageous, blatantly dangerous things and all the adults are fine with this (think less My Little Pony and more Wile E. Coyote). Intersperse this with complete nonsense like there being a Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza knockoff full of nightmare fuel horrors that actually exists in Ponyville because stupidity. And to top it all off, Justice3442 seems to think all caps and multiple punctuation marks works fine as long as you keep it next to typo-based repetition and characters doing things because shut up.

In case it’s not clear, I strongly disapprove of all those elements. I came here to see a story about two teenagers developing a relationship, not watch a supposed adult blow up a school just to get her prepubescent son’s fillyfriend out of detention.

So yeah, if you have any desire to read something serious, turn back now because this is a story about madness.

That being said, if you’re looking for something stupid and silly, by all means dive in. I should point out that all of those elements above are only bad if you came looking for something else entirely. This is a story for readers whose capacity for giving fucks has gone empty. I certainly was entertained at as many points as I was annoyed, and I think the more Looney Tunes-minded of you will find this story hilarious.

I’m putting this in the middle ground. It’s not at all what I wanted to read, but that doesn’t make it bad. Feel free to give it a go.

Bookshelf: Worth It

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The One Where Pinkie Gets EvenPretty Good


This started off innocently enough. Rarity is enjoying a Saturday off in typical Rarity form when she discovers that a local fair is under way, which means a pair of vendors are selling some special desserts called phenomnomenons. These are so preposterously good that nopony, not even a ‘Lady’ like Rarity, can resist their siren call. We are treated to a few hundred words of her facing down the vendor and trying desperately to preserve her diet.

If that had been all this was, I would have been satisfied. But then Ponydora Prancypants decided to throw in Twilight and Pinkie on food binges, royal guards with terrible dialogue, changelings gaining “final forms”, and the nonsense rapidly escalates to stupid proportions. Emphasis on the ‘stupid’.

But for once, I’m not terribly annoyed by this. I mean, yes, the fact that the story degenerated into something so absurd is a significant negative factor for me, but overall? It was at least a little entertaining thanks to the primary elements of the story. And it’s well written enough that I’ve nothing to complain about in that area. Ultimately, I feel that most people will get a lot of humor out of this. Certainly more than I did.

And so I’ll grant kudos to the author for managing to turn what could have been a decent comedy into stupid nonsense without completely destroying my appreciation. Give it a go, you’ll probably enjoy it.

Bookshelf: Worth It

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Que Sera, SeraNeeds Work


Not bad, Beanstalk. Not bad at all.

This little story reveals to us that Grand Pear has begun having nightmares involving his disowned daughter Pear Butter departing on a train and… dying? He’s not sure what the dreams mean, but he assumes they’re just latent guilt coming back to bug him. Then he gets a letter from Sweet Apple Acres.

One part of me is disdainful of such an obvious, easy concept. But that part of me is readily drowned out by the rest of me declaring an overwhelming “Yes!” to this story. The author’s depiction of Grand Pear and his wife learning the fate of his daughter and how they react to it is heartbreaking. Jackie did a great job handling the emotional impact in this one, providing a powerful and evocative story of a stubborn old stallion’s crumbling efforts to be the strong patriarch he believes he should be.

When it’s all said and done, I don’t have a single thing to complain about with this story. It’s effectively paced, competently directed, and led by interesting, well-defined characters. It makes no attempt to relive that which we already know, instead exploring around those events and letting us take in the emotions. This strikes me as perhaps the best possible approach, and the entire story is kept in a pleasant state of bittersweetness.

So not bad, Beanstalk. This is way better than the last one.

Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
HindsightPretty Good


Imperfect

6,354 Words
By SPark
Requested by yamgoth

EDIT: Immediately after this review was released, SPark took down this story for personal reasons. The review shall remain, but alas, nobody will get the chance to read it and judge it for themselves.

I was wondering why there were so many deleted comments for this story. Now I’m reasonably sure of the reason, just like I am reasonably sure that the only reason yamgoth requested this was to see if I, Fimfiction’s resident conservative reviewer, could be triggered by its contents. I will admit to a mild triggering, but not for the reasons people probably expect.

When Rainbow Dash and Gilda become engaged, they do so with the added intention of adopting Scootaloo. This brings Twilight to discover that there’s an ancient law on the books banning gryphons from adopting pony foals without a personal exemption from Celestia herself. So Twilight goes to Celestia to ask that the obviously obsolete law be repealed. Then Celestia drops a bombshell on her: not only does Celestia approve the law and will not repeal it, she wrote it herself. Twilight is summarily triggered.

Now, before we get into anything else me just point out that, yes, the law is wrong, particularly when seen in the context that the story gives us. The problem I had is how Twilight reacted to Celestia’s plainly stated opinion. She did not offer any arguments. She didn’t pause to even think about what was being said. Instead she acted like a properly reprehensible social justice warrior and leapt right into name calling, baseless accusations, and being furious that someone had the gall to disagree with her oh-so-righteous-and-better-than-yours-because-I-said-so opinion. It was the worst kind of response.

Now, I can grant some leeway. After all, Twilight just had her ‘perfect image’ of Celestia shattered, and that can and should lead to some high emotional energy. As such, I can’t really blame Twilight that her immediate response was purely emotional and unhinged.

But that’s no excuse for maintaining the rage afterwards or before all the facts are established. Once those facts do come around, then sure, Twilight has a good reason to be opposed to Celestia’s position. Yet it continues to annoy me that Twilight’s definition of perfection is only what she deems ‘good and appropriate’. Even after she acknowledges that Celestia is just a flawed pony like everyone else, she still limits her interpretations of what is right and proper and good on what she demands them to be. It’s all well and good for Twilight to want to improve Equestria by fixing an outdated adoption law, but what happens in a thousand years, when some new group of young alicorn princes and princesses decide that Twilight’s views of what is good and proper are outdated? Will she back down and accept their verdict, as Luna intends, or will she be like Celestia and tell them they are just being young and ignorant? Given her behavior in this story, I’m pretty sure it’ll be the latter.

Ah, but I am doing SPark an injustice. Despite the political issues raised, they overlook the real topic of the story, which has nothing to do with racism (er, speciesism? Bit of a mouthful, that) or the proper behavior of those in the political system. This story is supposed to be about Twilight discovering that her mentor isn’t “perfect”, regardless of what that definition of perfection might be. So how does it fare in that regard?

Well… decent, I suppose. I feel as though SPark blew through the most potentially emotional moments of the story. In particular, I’m thinking of the night Twilight had a conversation with Spike, her chat with Luna, and her discussion of the matter with Cadance. We’re shown Twilight physically reacting, which is great, but this story is told from her limited perspective. Where are the thoughts, the intensity of her inner feelings, the vivid picture of her sense of betrayal? Just saying “she felt betrayed” isn’t even close to achieving the goal. We can see Twilight is getting emotional over this, but I just couldn’t get attached to those emotions.

I don’t know, it’s hard to pin down. It feels to me like SPark spent so much time focusing on the “what” of Twilight’s anger and loss that they neglected to fully represent the emotions themselves. Okay, so she’s pacing her room and thinking about Celestia. Fine. How does she feel? Is she angry? Confused? Numb? It’s hard to say. She’s just pacing and thinking, and while the content of those thoughts are present, I just wasn’t getting a good sense of her emotional state. This kind of thing pervades the story.

And it’s annoying, not because of anything SPark didn’t do, but because of everything they did do. I can see the work put into the material, I can tell SPark put a lot of effort into these scenes. So why am I not feeling it? Was I just too busy thinking about the political side to notice? I’m honestly not sure if SPark did anything wrong. It could just be me and my mood, ruined by the surface elements of the story. That’s frustrating. It makes me feel like I’m not doing a proper job with this review.

The story isn’t bad, though. Not by any stretch of the imagination. It’s got a good sense of pacing, strong themes and intentions, and the characterization is solid. Going purely by the elements of a good story, I’ve got precious little to complain about. I only wish I could pin down why the emotions failed to jump out at me.

I suppose I should just apologize for my lackluster abilities this time around and hope my next foray into SPark territory works better for the both of us.

Bookshelf: Worth It

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Over a Cardboard SeaWHYRTY?


Lose Yourself

5,082 Words
By Mikleo
Recommended by Pascoite

When a car accident takes the life of one of their own, the loss destroys the bonds of the Rainbooms. Rainbow stumbles through her existence, trying to get over the loss but never able to find her way past it.

This story is an intense roller coaster ride of emotions. It hits hard, it hits fast, and it never lets up. Watching Rainbow go through the slow, agonizing motions of her loss over the course of months, knowing that her friends will never be friends again, it all leaves a heavy weight on the shoulders. The initial confusion is expertly played.

My one and only complaint about this story is that I honestly can’t see the Rainbooms friendship shattering over something like this. When Rainbow at one point lists all the things the others are doing in the meantime in reaction to the death, I found them… over the top. But putting that aside, I see a powerful piece of emotional fiction that is worth getting into for anyone who likes to indulge in sadfic. If that’s you, then read this right away.

I’ve got nothing else to say. This isn’t the kind of story I want to linger on for a review. There’s too much to potentially ruin for later readers to go into any detail. Just take my word for it: this is great tale of seeking normalcy and recovery amidst the deepest of crises.

Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!


Eternity

5,461 Words
By Taialin
Recommended by Steel Resolve

When Fluttershy is extremely late for a spa appointment, Rarity starts to fear something terrible has happened to her friend. Thus does she go to investigate. At Fluttershy’s cottage, she learns the unexpected truth: one of Fluttershy’s animals has died. This soon brings Rarity to understand a lot more about Fluttershy than she ever had before.

There’s a conflicting set of thoughts in my mind regarding this one. First off, Taialin did an awesome job generating the emotional impact of death. The story’s pacing, its theme, its intensity are all the showings of an author in their element. Fine characterization and effective use of atmosphere work together to complete a solid story of loss and personal strength.

The one niggling issue? There’s no way Fluttershy could do this, not unless it was her full-time job and she never actually, y’know, takes care of animals. Even accepting that this is a perfectly ‘Fluttershy’ thing to do, you’ll never convince me that she’s had the time to give each and every animal their proper treatment in this fashion, she’d never be able to do anything else! The only other conclusion is that the Fluttershy who goes on all the adventures and does other things in the show is a changeling, because one person/pony can’t keep up with the nonstop work this would require.

So yes, the very premise forces me to disbelieve everything the story is telling us.

Despite that, it still got an emotional response from me. That’s some good writing, that. And because of that good writing, I’m willing to overlook the general improbability and rate this highly. By all means, try it. If you’re into sadfic, that is.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Nothing to FearPretty Good


Once again, I am faced with a potentially awesome concept ruined by an enforced word count.

Suns and Roses takes place in an alternate EqG setting where Sunset Shimmer ends up not at Canterlot High, but in the garden of Roseluck in a 1950’s word. Roseluck is the daughter of a retired war general who is abusive, drunk, and an all around sorry human being. Sunset, with no better place to go, sticks around. And in time, the two become Equestria’s most notorious bank robbing duo in a violent Bonnie and Clyde chase across the country.

I’ve got a thing for gangster stories, so in terms of concept this is right up my alley. The story is nothing short of predictable, but that doesn’t hurt it too much in my eyes. It faithfully runs through the tropes while keeping Sunny and Rose as lovesick girls trying to find a dream through crime. It’s romantic, tragic, and more than a little violent. It even takes the extra step of making the law appear more villainous than the outlaws. The story is competently written, effectively emotional, and curiously nostalgic.

The big problem? It goes by too quickly. There’s no time taken to really get to know our protagonists and see how their relationship grew from pure strangers to desperate lovers. Those moments are critical to making the whole thing work, and while the conclusion is, again, effectively emotional, it could have been so much more if we’d had time to really get to know Rose and Sunny.

So ultimately, this is a good idea. And the writing is such that it even comes out well as its own story. But to really make it a cut above, it needs a lot more character and relationship growth.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good!

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!


Alternate Title: From the Mouths of Children

In the last couple years I’ve made a habit of reviewing those stories that somehow manage to beat my own in contests. The Barcast’s Make Rarity Not Garbage contest is the origin of my Generosity series, which landed second place, and so I felt obligated to try to determine what Aragon did better.

In this little weave (and I emphasize weave), we get two different stories at once. First, we have the Cutie Mark Crusaders enjoying Twilight Time, where Twilight declares that Rarity is the single smartest of the Mane 6, much to the CMC’s confusion. Twilight promptly explains her reasoning. The second story, told in pieces at the same time as this conversation, is about how Rarity deftly dealt with Prince Blueblood when he comes to Ponyville in an effort to woo Twilight Sparkle into a politically advantageous marriage.

The fundamental point behind the story is that pretty girls are on the whole a lot smarter than you’d think. I’m more than happy to back that, even if I can say with confidence I’ve met some pretty dumb pretty girls (This one chick from high school, woah, boy. She might have made a cheerleader uniform look good, but the real fun was listening to her comments in History). In a way, a big part of my view on attractive women stems from something similar to this, and it seems Aragon and I have similar, if not exactly coinciding, views regarding Rarity as an individual.

I was a little miffed by the constant back-and-forth style of the story, but it was never enough to throw me off or be confusing, so I’ll accept it as a stylistic choice. There’s also the great humor of listening to Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom make some particularly entertaining declarations that would have been insulting coming from the mouths of adults. In fact, the ongoing voice of Sweetie that pervades the narrative may have been the single most endearing part of the whole story. Aragon does a great job capturing her manner, as well as Twilight’s good-natured handling of the issue.

My only concern is that this entertaining, almost endlessly funny side-conversation between the CMC and Twilight also gives us the fundamental lesson of the story. That’s not inherently bad, but it does threaten to bury the lesson in the humor for those not paying proper attention. At least, that’s how I feel about it.

But the humor is good. My personal favorite part:

Every single one of my friends, I’m proud to say, is a genius in their own right. Yes, Apple Bloom, that includes Rainbow Dash.”

“Ah’m scared and confused by that statement.”

“As you should be.”

If that’s not enough to get you reading this, there may be no hope for you.

Despite my misgivings, I really enjoyed this. It’s witty, it’s smart, and it’s got a great lesson. I might have preferred to see the two stories separated out, but it works well enough as it is. The story definitely deserved all the praise it got while centered high up in that Feature Box.

Bookshelf: Pretty Good!

Previous stories reviewed for this author:
I Don't Want To Write ThisWHYRTY?
Love Is In DoomWHYRTY?
A Hell of a TimePretty Good


Stories for Next Week:
Withdrawal by Raugos
Dawing Do to the Wescue by Wodahseht
Lessons Learned by RoyalBardofCanterlot
If Horses Had Gods by Ponky
The Ties That Bind by Ponydora Prancypants
I'm Lost Without You by FamousLastWords
Song of Thunder by Zodiacspear
Wild Fire by Horse Voice
Tea for Two by Bluespectre
Bards of the Badlands by Novel-Idea


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Comments ( 17 )

I need to slap Yamgoth upside the head. Of ALL my works you could have reviewed (there are a lot!) that is the one I very absolutely least want reviewed by anybody ever. I put it back up on the site after having it pulled down for months, and did so only very reluctantly, because I was convinced by some pepole that since many people had enjoyed it, removing it because of how personal and difficult it was for me wasn't fair to those folks. I'm very close right now to pulling it down again. (Edit: yeah, it's gone now. Good riddance.) It was never meant to present a story of a Twilight (or anybody else) reacting reasonably or doing anything right. It wasn't even really meant as a story. It was just me screaming into the void about my own fucked-up issues, and I still kind of wish I'd just kept it private and never published it at all.

And then there’s therealnegative in all of this: Ponydora Prancypants hasn’t been on FIMFiction in almost three years as of this review. This story is supposed to be the start of a trilogy, and it now looks as though this trilogy will never be finished. The second story is only a few chapters in. This is nothing short of a felony that should be punishable with imprisonment and forced chaining to a computer until the tale is complete, because this seriesshould have been finished. It is too awesome to die, but that’s exactly what it did.

I just hope that Ponydora Prancypants didn’t. No, seriously. I can see no explanation for this author’s disappearance, and that worries me.

Amen, dude. 🙏

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

When it's done, you need to read Roam-Springa by Pascoite. Assuming you're not already tracking it, of course. :V

And the answer to "Why?" is because it's too damn long. D:

Ah, "Without Another Word." Yes, that was a pretty good story. I gave Jack quite a bit of feedback on it, as the first draft had quite a few rough spots, but it cleaned up really nicely!

And... "Lose Yourself." I recommended that, huh? Sure enough, when I go to the story page, it's marked as read. I can't for the life of me remember it. I keep confusing it for a story that was told entirely through voice mail messages. I even scrolled through it again. Doesn't ring a bell. I didn't participate in the contest it was written for. It wasn't an EqD submission. It wasn't a story I reviewed for WRITE or TTG. I have no idea when I read it or why. I do vaguely remember the last scene, I guess.

Oh, now I get why I couldn't find it. The author changed names since then, and they originally had a typo in the title so searching on either one turned up nothing.

Yeah, I liked it, but we have to be really careful about suicide fics, and this one just felt too shallow to me on that one point. We never really get that deep a look at why Twilight feels that way, and then it's so easy to convince her to change her mind that it doesn't lend it that much of an air of seriousness. That was my only story issue with it, though. But he couldn't even be bothered to fix the typos I pointed out. =/

Glad you liked the recommendation, though.

And then there’s therealnegative in all of this: Ponydora Prancypants hasn’t been on FIMFiction in almost three years as of this review. This story is supposed to be the start of a trilogy, and it now looks as though this trilogy will never be finished. The second story is only a few chapters in. This is nothing short of a felony that should be punishable with imprisonment and forced chaining to a computer until the tale is complete, because this seriesshould have been finished. It is too awesome to die, but that’s exactly what it did.

I just hope that Ponydora Prancypants didn’t. No, seriously. I can see no explanation for this author’s disappearance, and that worries me.

Agreed. I'm glad you finally got to enjoy Flight of the Alicorn, but the complete disappearance of the author is a sadness and a mystery, because the second book started out strong too. They posted several chapters, and then ... vanished.

Yeah, Flight of the Alicorn was amazing... really wish the rest of the trilogy had happened.

Bards of the Badlands by Novel-Idea

Huh, so this is the only one for next week I've heard of, so there's gonna be plenty of new stories to look forward to, and that's pretty cool.

Suns and Roses is a story I really want to write as a longer fic, but at the same time am afraid to pull the trigger and risk ruining it. Thank you very much for the review :twilightsmile:

The only other conclusion is that the Fluttershy who goes on all the adventures and does other things in the show is a changeling

But would it matter if she was

4882770
Well. That... stinks. I can't claim to understand, but I guess it's your decision. It is a shame, now I've gone and reviewed a story that was fairly decent that nobody can read.

But if you hate it that much, what can you do?

4882804
I am indeed tracking it, based on numerous recommendations.

4882849
Few things are as annoying as an author changing their name. I don't know if they ever fixed it, but it used to be that every time an author did that all my links relating to them would break. And since they never bother to announce these things I'm left unawares until someone complains to me about it. So yeah, people changing their names annoys me.

4883078
I can promise at least one of those stories for next week you haven't read is awesome.

4883088
That's what you get good prereaders for! But I suppose if the fear is crippling we can all live with this. It's certainly better than a world without.

Comment posted by SPark deleted Jun 15th, 2018

It makes me infinitely happy that you enjoyed Without Another Word. Writing that story got me through some really heavy stuff last year, and I'm just glad that I did the idea justice. Thanks for giving it a look, man!

You need to be in a certain...mindset to read Justice's stories. He can have you brokenly sobbing and hysterically laughing at the same time while reading the same scene. His comedy isn't for everyone as it tends very much towards the absurd (which I love personally).

4886812
Broken and sobbing? Seriously? This must be from some other, vastly more well-written story by him that hasn't graced my read list yet.

4886880
Ah, yes, I've heard of it. I was avoiding it because I was under the impression it was a bunch of nonsense written for a lark. Given the nature of the only two stories I've read by this author so far, I have little reason to be enthusiastic. I'm starting to suspect I just don't like Justice's Loony Tunes brand of humor, or their efforts to achieve the impossible and create an intelligent, serious story within the same space.

Still, I might be willing to give it a go. After I read Forward Always, which is actually labelled and described as being serious.

Alternatively, you could make that a request, thereby forcing my hand, but that's up to you.

4886899
I love Loony Tunes....*blush*. It's all taste.

4886902
I love Loony Tunes too... but not at the same time as my Game of Thrones.

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