Fic recs, June 14th: New Character Tags, Equestria Girls edition! · 2:27pm Jun 14th, 2018
Themaskedferret posted a link to a survey about race and gender in fanfiction. The first part kind of doesn't apply to what we do here, but hey, go fill it out! Looks like it filled up! Hopefully we didn't skew the data too hard toward ponies!
Y'know, I just missed making Pink Eyes my 400th review this year. :B Oh well, that means I hit two milestones in this one! If you're not into EQG, unfortunately I got nothing for you this time. :C
H: 1 R: 6 C: 9 V: 3 N: 2
Dazzlings:
Ave Sonata by Majin Syeekoh
400th Review of 2018!
Genre: Dark
Sonata plays in the park, watched by Adagio and Aria.
This is a neat idea, but I wanted it to hit harder. I think the reason it doesn't is that we're just sort of told everything that transpired in very vague terms. Maybe the order could have been switched around, maybe less subtlety is in order… I don't know. It just didn't have as much oomph as I feel it should have.
Vaguely Recommended
Applejack:
Wait… Horses Can't Vomit? by PoisonClaw
Genre: EQG Light Comedy
Sunset discovers something unbelievable.
This was a missed opportunity, if you ask me. A premise like this is ripe for comedic potential, but this ended up taking about the blandest route possible to its end. There are a couple laughs along the way, but not big ones. And an in-story recap of Applebuck Season just… that's neither comedy nor interesting. Given why this was written, it might have been better as just an "okay, but have you considered" post on TVTropes.
Not Recommended
Dean Cadence:
Better Late Than Never by Bookish Delight
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Drama/Friendshipping
Why have the Shadowbolts been stalking the halls of Canterlot High, in disguise no less?
This goes to some interesting places, but takes a while to get there. The bulk of it is drama, lots of yelling so many accusations no explanations can be had. But once that's over? Well, this is an interesting take on the Shadowbolts. It treats them as characters and not the "two vocal tics and who were the others again?" they actually were. This is really just an attempt to reconcile the events of Friendship Games with how people, y'know, actually are, and it succeeds rather well. I'm also pretty sure I've never seen anyone write about how the long-standing school rivalry actually affects the students before. So yeah, this is a good'n.
Recommended
Fluttershy:
Hot Water by Summer Dancer
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Dramedy
Pinkie hasn't had her new pet for an entire day yet when he's unceremoniously flushed down the toilet.
First, a quick aside: it would seem that Short Stories took down all their readings, because both the one for this fic and the one for Ye Cannot Get Ye Flask are gone. :( A shame. That being said, the premise of this story is hilarious, and it kind of lives up to it. The laughs aren't frequent, but they are big, from watching the scene play out in real time to an aside featuring the Dazzlings. I will say the denouement kind of overstays its welcome (and the church joke almost doesn't work), and it definitely needed another editing pass (do not ever use "throw up" as a saidism, seriously), but Fluttershy's written particularly well. I enjoyed watching her take charge of the situation, and overall, I had fun reading this. :)
Recommended
Indigo Zap:
United by Bait by Bookish Delight
Genre: Friendshipping
Lightning Dust has always known just how to get under Indigo Zap's skin.
I thiiiiink this might be in continuity with Better Late Than Never. The only real clue is the author's note. Well, and something Indigo says offhandedly. But it would sort of explain a few things, like why Rainbow Dash just randomly shows up at Crystal Prep when she needs to be there. There's some intriguing world-building at play here, mostly in the decision of who to EQG-ify. Other than that, well, it's an interesting look at Rainbow and Indigo as they come to an understanding of one another. Not amazing, but not bad either.
Recommended for EQG Fans
Lemon Zest:
Shadowbolts Adventures: Music to Our Ears by DragonShadow
Genre: Friendshipping
Lemon Zest meets a kindred spirit.
This is the first story of a tremendous continuity, I'm talking dozens of fics, and of course I have a couple random ones in the middle on my RIL. <.< Part of me has to wonder how. There's honestly not much to this, just a "meeting of the minds" scene with Lemon and Vinyl. But the one thing that impresses is that it's all action, all movement. There's a single word of dialogue, not even an entire sentence, and the kinetic imagery flows pretty well. So, not exactly a mind-blower, but a solid thousand-word effort. There might be more Shadowbolts Adventures in my future…
Recommended for EQG Fans
Micro Chips:
How Do I Do It? by Jay David
Genre: Slice of Life
Flash and Sunset are asked for romantic advice.
This is pretty cute. I mean, I'm always up for some Flashset, and it's adorable seeing this random girl on the cover art being all nervous about wanting to ask out a giant dork. (MIcro Chips, it should be mentioned, barely appears in the story.) That's about all there is to this, though. The writing is fairly plain, and often telly. (And the first sentence of this story is awful.) I wish more had been done with the identity mixup. But, eh, it's all right.
Vaguely Recommended
Midnight Sparkle:
Thanatosian Impulse by Majin Syeekoh
Sequel to Thanatosian Love
Genre: Character Piece
I'll say this about these two stories: they have a strong narrative voice. Ain't no one else sounds like this here demon. Also? Intensely delusional. And that's pretty much your lot. If a thousand words of Midnight Sparkle creeping on Twilight from inside her mind sounds like your bag, you will not go wrong with this.
Recommended for Midnight Sparkle Fans
Pinkie Pie:
The Swap by Monochromatic
Reading by Midnight29
Genre: Comedy
Twilight starts to think there's something odd about Pinkie Pie.
So, the punchline is kind of ruined by the cover art and description, but let's face it: this is a solid idea for a fic, even if it's obvious (see also: the inspiration), this is the first story I've read about it, and I'm pleased with what I saw.
Recommended as Light Reading
Principal Cinch:
Agitate the System by FanOfMostEverything
Genre: Character Piece
Principal Cinch sulks after the Friendship Games, but not alone.
I don't think this is Oversaturated World, but it features the same relationship between Abacus Cinch and Mister Discord, which is good, because I've always liked that. :) This is a really solid piece of character writing, with Abacus sullen and Discord trying his best to help her in a way that doesn't exactly look like help. Even if you've got no interest in the OW, read this, because I just adore their dynamic.
Recommended
Principal Celestia:
Administrative Angel by horizon
Genre: Character Piece
They need a principal, so she keeps the wing dreams bottled up.
As it turns out, I've wanted to read this story for longer than it's been in existence. It's about forgiveness and identity, faith and the loss thereof, how to deal with your mistakes, being imperfect, and the ways in which grownups and children have trouble understanding each other. It's fucking flawless, you guys, this just so goddamn good. If you haven't read it already, just read the first 300-word chapter, that by itself is a masterpiece. You'll want to finish.
Highly Recommended: Top Fifteen
Rainbow Dash:
Visitation Rites by FanOfMostEverything
Genre: Comedy
Rainbow Dash is having a very embarrassing magical problem.
So this is an attempt to introduce Rainbow's parents to EQG. It succeeds. (And, surprisingly, is not Oversaturated World!) Even knowing that, you will not see what's coming. And once you find out what that is, you'll never guess why this was written. This is a total hoot.
Recommended
Rarity:
Asking a Favor by Tinybit92
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Character Piece/Friendshipping
Sunset needs a favor, but has she done anything to earn one?
This has such a simple premise, it really had nowhere to go but down, yet with a deft hand, Tinybit rose to her own challenge and performed flawlessly. This is just a combination of Sunset being incredibly self-conscious after the Fall Formal, countered by Rarity being a Good Friend. There's not only a lesson to be had, but also a lot of the things I look for in EQG fics, from contemplating hands to the discussion of the meaning of an article of magically-generated clothing. Very good stuff.
Recommended
Sandalwood:
Crystal Conspiracies by Tennis Match Fan
Genre: Comedy
CHS's Eco Kids are convinced Crystal Prep is on drugs.
So, this has the Sandalwood tag, but his name in the story is Green Cycle. Just a weird thing to note. Anyway, this isn't exactly a laugh-out-loud comedy, but I enjoyed seeing the kids' conspiracy theories get more and more outlandish. I suspect many, if not all, are actually fan theories, but I can't say I've seen any of them bandied about in the actual fandom, so I was amused.
Recommended for EQG Fans
Sour Sweet
Sour 'n Sweet 'n Pretty by Nico-Stone Rupan
Genre: 2P Shipping
Wait, Sour Sweet doesn't think she's pretty?
Oh god, I'm so confused. Well, for starters, this story is the first of a very lengthy continuity, some entries of which I thought sounded interesting, but when something's the nth sequel to a fic, well, you gotta read that fic first. And this fic, well, I was ready to write it off by the halfway point. "You" are pretty much a classic Nice Guy: shy to a fault (worse than Twilight, even!), unaware of things like personal space and consent, just generally a creepy stalker type all around. (I have never felt so well represented by a second-person story.) And you are, of course, going to fix Sour Sweet's self-esteem problems because you are the True White Knight who sees her Inner Worth, except you're really fixated on her Outer Worth so you're probably just part of the problem. So after hounding her all day, you give a heartfelt speech about how pretty she is, and then suddenly, date. (Not a spoiler, the sequel's right there.) Except the thing that threw me off guard is that, in this moment, you realize you've really been treating her poorly, and you make an effort to stop doing this while reflecting on your behavior. c.c I just was not ready for that level of self-awareness in what is otherwise "every 2P shipfic ever" with tons of problematic 'romance'. Granted, this is undercut somewhat by you pondering whether you might also have mental issues and thinking you should ask Sour for some of her medicine which is not a good idea, kids, let me just say this right now in no small terms. D: (Glorifying mental illness was something else I did in high school!) In all, I'm left with a sense that, much like Sour Sweet in this story, I need to give this series a chance. So expect more reviews in the future. (Oh yeah, and the textual gimmick? I was miffed when I saw it, given I was using text-to-speech for this one, but it's completely unnecessary, you can tell when Sour Sweet is being sarcastic because she's Sour Sweet.)
Recommended for Sour Sweet Fans I Guess?
Spike the Dog:
The Legend of Buttdial: Sci-Twi's Awakening by shortskirtsandexplosions
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Shipping
A series of calls from Sunset Shimmer are surprising in more ways than one.
If shortskirts is the master of anything, it's sexual tension. He's got a very clear image of the characters — be they horses or people — in his head, and his writing makes you experience them through that lens, to the point that it's impossible for Twilight Sparkle to listen to a dead line on her phone and not ooze shipteasing everywhere. Just think about that. The only other thing I have to say about this is that it's always weird to read EQG fics where the author has made no effort to turn real-world things into horse puns. <.< If you're not into shipping, you won't like this, but otherwise, it's fun.
Recommended for Shippers
Sugarcoat:
Sugar Pie Recipes by EntityRelationship
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Shipping
Sugarcoat isn't making it easy for Twilight to help her ask Pinkie Pie out.
It's really hard imagining Sugarcoat as emotionally vulnerable, but this is actually quite the dive into her character, so there's that going for it. Beyond that, there's just not a lot of substance to this, which is why I'm looking at the end of it and just kind of shrugging. There's some good Pie Sister shenanigans, and this is an unusual ship, but it doesn't really do anything other than get the date started. So, not as substantive as I would like, but certainly interesting.
Recommended for Shippers Only
Sunny Flare:
"Let's Go, Shadowbolts!" by AppleJTZ
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Friendshipping
The Friendship Games have had a bigger effect on five girls from Crystal Prep than anyone might have thought.
This was literally the top story for all five Shadowbolts, so why not use it for the least interesting one? It's a lengthy piece about the Shadowbolts — that is, the five named characters who participated in the Friendship Games — finding out that they like hanging around each other more than they originally thought. I've seen a lot of stories about them already being friends before the Games, but I like this approach for two reasons. First, it stands to reason that CPA isn't exactly a hotbed of interpersonal relationships. As is mentioned in the text, students hang around each other in the hopes of gaining from the association, rather than out of any sort of affection. Second, the way they become friends felt natural and organic, as they just kind of fall into it without trying, and without really knowing what they're doing. That said, this leaves a lot to be desired. The profuse number of missing or wrongly used words suggests more going on than just a lack of editing. The characters' personalities are still pretty one-note, with Sour, Sugarcoat and Lemon being what you'd expect, Sunny being "basically Rarity" and Indigo having her own personality quirk that isn't any deeper than anyone else's. Also, despite the fact that I read the whole thing, I never really got invested in it. Chapter after chapter of not much happening passes by, and though this lends to that 'natural and organic' thing I said before, it wasn't really that exciting. The end is also a grand mess, the last two chapters specifically feeling unfocused and unplanned. I suspect sequel bait at play. So, in total, this wasn't terrible, and it gave me a lot to talk about, but otherwise didn't really leave much of an impression on me. (And, again, you really don't need textual gimmicks to convey Sour Sweet's mood, guys! And heart emojis are far worse than italics and bold.)
Vaguely Recommended
Sunset Demon:
Angel and Devil by AwesomeEric25
Genre: Comedy
Sunset is visited by two familiar faces…
It could just be that I read a fantastic and original comedy about shoulder devils not that long ago, but this did nothing for me. It's got a good premise, it just does nothing really notable with it. Didn't even chuckle.
Not Recommended
Twilight Sparkle:
Made for Another World by Spark Plug
Genre: Character Piece
Even the sky isn't right.
This story has an awful lot going for it. It's primarily about Sunset being homesick and depressed, but there's actually quite a lot of attention given to things she does and has liked about living in Humania. That's more than I look for in EQG fics! The depiction of depression is solid, and while it maybe veers too far toward giving Sunset everything she wants/needs at that moment, I can't argue with the results. Is there a downside? Heck no there ain't. :B This is good stuff.
Recommended
Vice-Principal Luna:
Principal Celestia's Family Reunion by MythrilMoth
Review #5100!
Genre: Comedy
The Rainbooms get quite the shock when they crash Principal Celestia's family reunion.
What a thing, when the first scene of a story describes and names all the humane six, but not the OC (background human?) who we don't know by name. Anyway, once you get past that, this is pretty fun, presenting a highly amusing answer to "If Princess Celestia is immortal, what about Principal Celestia?" It explores its joke to a good end and doesn't overstay its welcome, and the final punchline is actually pretty funny. Worth it!
Recommended for Laughs
Agitate the System isn't OW, but it was a chance for me to explore the pairing outside of that context. Glad to know you like it.
And yeah, Nico-Stone's stuff starts rough, but I find it does improve.
I read this as "a thousand words of Midnight Sparkle crapping on Twilight" at first, and now I'm kind of wondering if that's a story that someone has written.
4882637
In the words of Fluttershy, "We do not make poopies on our friends."
Which, of course, depends on your definition of who is and is not your friend. :V
What else is in the top fifteen? I don't see a bookshelf for that in your library.
4882665
They're on his user page, scroll all the way down.
4882669
Oh, you have to scroll WAAAY down! Thanks!
4882645
But if we don't make poopies on our friends, who can we make poopies on.
It is. The original plan was to have a long multi-story series made of multiple mini-arcs where Dean Cadance facilitated CPA students to learn the virtues of friendship via an exchange student program, much to Cinch's chagrin but reluctant acceptance. See also Audio Therapy.
Then Dance Magic came out and ran over all of that with a semi.
4882747
Dumb ol' canon. :B
I reviewed the shadowbolts adventures years ago ^^
And while Music is first, and maybe not the best first impression for anyone who says it’s an amazing series, it dose pick up, and we need the latest story to get finished! >.<
https://youtu.be/k3LmRA5fO0Y
I’d best recommend Standing Up if you only got time for one good impression.
Also keep in mind it was written before Dance Magic and the rest of the Equestria girls series ^^’
Thank you! It's always awesome to get a glowing review, but all the more so since Angel is in my personal top tier — the acclaim around it isn't triggering Magnum Opus Dissonance the way that glowing critical attention normally does. I reread it and still love what I wrote.
I still maintain that Last Dreams of Pony Island beats it in my personal rankings. But if someone could only read one Horizon story, there's a strong case to be made that this should be the one.
4882788
I think Last Dreams is probably better in the realm of "works of art", so I wouldn't necessarily disagree with you.
But it's also not 100% your story because reasons, so :V
That survey's closed now, on account of having had over 2,500 responses.
I'd say I'd added horizon's story to my list, but pretty much everything horizon ever writes is on my list by default. (Though I keep putting off The Last Dreams of Pony Island as I'm fairly sure I won't understand it and will feel stupid, so Administrative Angel is much more likely to be read any time soon.) As for the rest... I'm not hugely into EqG fics, despite liking the actual canon EqG stuff considerably more than I did, so I expect I'll just read the ones by authors I know are good (FOME, Bookish Delight, etc) and so probably miss some other good stuff.
4882933
That sounds like a good plan, honestly.
Maybe I should try re-reading Administrative Angel some time. I remember being distinctively unimpressed by it – and commented as much in the story.
4882933
Hey, that's the same reason I haven't read Pony Island yet!
4882933 4883166
I definitely can sympathize with the intimidation! I said myself in my rankings that it's not easy reading (I believe I called it "an intricate puzzlebox" of a story), and if you know in advance that you don't want to unravel it, that's a legitimate reason to stay away. Heck, I've been dodging House of Leaves for the same reason.
That said, I don't think this is quite at House's complexity level (though perhaps for the same reasons). As long as you go into Pony Island realizing that each chapter is narrated from the point of view of the pony named in the chapter title — which isn't necessarily obvious, and is a common confusion complaint — what each pony is saying, individually, is pretty straightforward. Where the effort comes in is in matching the stories up with each other, finding their contradictions, and realizing that the contradictions point to a deeper truth. You will probably enjoy the story in proportion to the time you spend doing so, although even the surface narrative has its moments of beauty and poignancy.
A good prophylactic against feeling stupid is to go read the collected contest entries the story inspired. Seeing the range of explanations (and non-explanations) the story inspired will help reinforce that the story's deliberately vague rather than over anyone's level.
4883048
Eh, stylistic mismatches happen to everyone.
4884152
By which you mean "just read I figgurered out murderpone". :V
Wow, I'm late to the party! (Darn cold) Glad you liked it, and yeah I plan to give all my earlier fics another editing sweep, oh the things we learn! Thanks for the review!