Story Reviews » SA Reviews #130 · 2:50pm Jun 10th, 2018
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“It wasn’t until this moment that Intern realized just how large the Seattle’s Angels compound was. Entire days could be lost trying to familiarize oneself with just a single wing, let alone the months it would take to explore the whole building. But as Celestia as his witness, he was determined to do it or so help him!”
“Intern, you’re monologuing again,” said a voice from above. “And you’re doing it in third person.”
Snapping his mouth shut, Intern looked up to see Red perched on top of a protruding branch from the wall. He nibbled on a nut as he regarded the befuddled temp-reviewer. “Is this what you’ve been doing all month? Getting lost and talking to yourself?”
“No,” Intern said, arms folded across his chest. “I’ve been very productive this entire time.”
“Oh yeah?” Red set his nut to the side, crossed his own arms, and leered down. “Prove it.”
ROUND 130
STORY 1
Trinity, by alarajrogers
Once upon a time there was a family, of two pony princess sisters and the lover of the older princess. And then everything went bad.
Three poems. Three aftermaths.
I’m not usually a huge fan of poems. Haven’t reviewed a single one in my entire tenure as a Seattle’s Angel… until now.
One of my chief complaints about poetry is that I believe they need structure. Most poems strike me as a literary version of modern art: throwing words at a canvas that sound nice and hoping you can scratch meaning off the paint. But these? These words tell an actual story, which I appreciate, and because I could follow along with what happened, I could better appreciate the place the words have in the stories. There are three of them, narrated by distinct voices. I appreciated the way each section leaves enough (mostly obvious) clues to tell who’s who, and taken together they form a complete narrative.
Of course, when you realize what the narrators are speaking about, and the emotions that come with them, you can even see parts in the poems where the structure changes. Rhyme schemes come and go, fall apart, or return to stability as emotions twist and turn and impact how these characters perceive the events that happened, and it’s perhaps this cleverness that really seals the deal for its recommendation. Also there is a distinct sense of melancholy and regret and bitterness raging all through these pieces, and if there’s one thing I like it’s ponies being melancholic and bitter.
If you do too, give it a shot.
We haven’t featured poems in a while so have a few! Each one features an immortal (maybe, depending on the current showrunner asking that particular Twitter question) of the show and their feelings on certain matters. And guess what? I can actually follow along with these!
Yes, I’m not a connoisseur or anything when it comes to poetry, but these are straightforward enough that even all the flowery prose doesn’t let the meaning fly over my head. I personally like the last one the best as its randomness really captures the character.
Take a gander, take a powder, take SOMETHING, but definitely take the time to read this.
Daring Do goes to retrieve an ancient artifact. It is a journey of danger and darkness, that many embark on but few return from. And Daring braves it fiercely.
Naturally, she does so in the most awesome way possible. Just not as awesome as Rainbow Dash. But nearly.
Oh boy, a random story! Random stories, now, have a somewhat unfair reputation for being a little bit too… random. Instead of actually being “random,” they are simply the author firing out what they think should be a lulzy acid trip on a pure sugar high when what they really have is burned coffee that won’t even give a mild buzz. It takes talent to make the random tag work, trust me. A certain je n'ais se quoi that must be experienced rather than described.
But this story has it. Oh, it has it. It starts with Daring Do having a seemingly normal adventure, but she’s narrating it in a way that makes it immediately apparent this is anything but normal. It escalates from there. And escalates. And then does it some more, until you realize that in spite of how random this all is, it is still all perfectly in-character. I really liked this one, I really did. Take it for a ride and don’t put on your seatbelt.
This is the type of story that you have to read the whole way through in order to get the full impact of it. At first things will be a little weird and seem rather repetitive. But I swear that once you’re finished, it’ll all make sense. With a dash of adventure and a touch of absurdity, this left me with a smile on my face.
And I’m not saying anymore!
Disguises - check
Concert tickets - check
Temporary replacements - check
Celestia and Luna are ready to attend a Howls of Catastrophe concert. What could possibly go wrong?
A changeling infiltrating the band plotting to destroy Canterlot Castle, that's what.
I like stories of Celestia and Luna dropping out of their roles as princesses. Especially the ones where they are completely flippant about it, because they’re gods and they can just do whatever they want sometimes. In fact, that’s pretty much this entire story. And I loved it.
Some might call it pointless. Some might call it empty. But I call it a masterpiece, because it involves Celestia and Luna just not taking anything seriously at all, because when you’ve been alive for as long as they have, it just gets really hard to keep getting excited, even at death metal concerts. I think we need more stories like this. Way more stories like this, about Celestia and Luna being so totally comfortable with their roles as nigh-immortal demigods that sometimes they slip right back out of it and into total absurdity.
The silliness continues as Celestia and Luna play hookie to check out the pony equivalent of a death metal concert. At least I think it’s death metal. Sometimes ponies get their genres mixed up and leaves me with more questions than answers.
Anyway, this is a quick romp that’ll get a chuckle out of you from the weird band members and their “unique” looks. The sisters are a hoot (particularly Luna) and the methods they go to to have backup “replacements” is a good way to end on things.
If anything, I wanted this to be longer to stretch out the zaniness.
STORY 4
Starscape, by Carabas
Celestia paints with starlight.
I miss Celestia and Luna on the show itself, so I’m glad we’re getting stories like this. One time period the show has always avoided was the time between Luna’s banishment and return, so the gap had to be filled with fanfiction like this touching story. While this story is in a crowded market to be sure, I think it strikes a fine balance between whimsy and mythicality, a cross-genre atmosphere that MLP has always been a part of. The idea of Celestia fiddling with the very heavens themselves to try and get them just right is the kind of adorable awesomeness you’d find in a beloved children’s storybook, and this story’s descriptions of it are very enjoyable to read. It does not veer into maudlin territory, but neither does it become too fluffy to lose its gravitas. This story portrays Celestia as a powerful being trapped by mortal concerns, and I love that idea.
Let’s end with a little more seriousness. This is another quick one, a single scene that depicts a lot. A canvas of colors, you might say.
This is a story that doesn’t tread new ground, but it always fascinates me how other fans depict Celestia during the time between Luna’s banishment and her return. In this one, she’s trying to get the stars right and the tasks to carefully mold the tapestry of the constellations is harder than even moving the sun or moon. Her reflections on the outcome and her ruminations with her attendant give us just a peek at how things have changed. It’s a little glimpse of just what Equestria lost when Nightmare Moon was sealed away.
Recommended for those that like to see Celestia in a more vulnerable state. She’s got a long road ahead of her before things get better.
“Fine, you can walk, talk, and review all at the same time,” Red said, resuming his nomming on the nut. “Just don’t make a habit of it. It’s annoying.”
Intern shrugged, his attention elsewhere. “I’ll tell you what’s annoying. Trying to find this blasted elevator. I’ve been from one end of this place to another and not a single spot to use this.” He held up a slip of paper the size of a business card.
“What is it?”
“An elevator pass! Why do we sell elevator passes if there are no elevators to use them on?”
Red could feel a headache coming on. “Bud, we don’t sell those.”
“But Wanderer D—”
“And you just answered your own question,” Red interrupted.
Blinking, Intern said, “You mean…”
“Sorry, but it looks like you got had.”
“But—”
The wall next to them pinged. A second later, a hidden door slid open to reveal Wanderer D, dressed in a slick red and gold elevator uniform. He held out his and, palm up. “Elevator pass?”
“I knew it!”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
The real mind bender here is: Did that elevator always exist or did D create it just to mess with Intern some more?
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Indeed. How far down does the rabbit hole go?
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Or did it start as a way to mess with Intern and then has escalated into making a fool of Red?
We may never know.....
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Do we dare to delve in the minds of Red and WandererD?
'Beware all ye who enter here!'
You guys didn't know about the elevators? What do you use to get around, then?
Only three stories about best princesses?! 0/10 never trusting your recommendations again—
… okay, I'll let this one slide.