News Archive

  • 3 weeks
    SA Reviews #129

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Corejo flipped through his Reviews folder one last time before making it up the stairs toward Ferret’s room. Yep, all there! He threw on a jaunty smile and strode up to her door… which was locked?

    A little red note taped to the door read in commanding read marker: OUT TO LUNCH. SLIP YOUR REVIEWS UNDER THE DOOR.

    Huh. Normally Ferret left the door open on Review Day so she could see their bright, sunshiny faces when they walked in. Whatever.

    Corejo shrugged and did as the sign said. And then he drummed his hands on his thighs. And then he looked around.

    Huh. Where were the shenanigans? There were supposed to be some wacky shenanigans that magically happened right about now at the worst possible time and inconvenienced him, because comedic coincidence dictated so.

    Read More

    5 comments · 1,528 views
  • 6 weeks
    SA Reviews #128

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “So, Cyne?” asked Matthew, “whatcha up to?”

    “Oh, you know, just getting some reviews in,” she replied.

    “But… there’s no school anymore. And no school means no reviews! We’re free!” he shouted, literally leaping for joy.

    Cynewulf slammed a stack of papers onto the table in front of her. “Ha! Shows what you know. Summer school is now in session.”

    “NNOOoooOOooOOOooooo…”

    ROUND 128

    Read More

    9 comments · 2,049 views
  • 8 weeks
    SA Reviews #127

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “Listen up, class! Today I will teach you all that is necessary to build a fanbase.” PaulAsaran spun on his heel and began to write on a chalkboard. “Take good notes. A five page essay and three mock-up reviews will be due next week.”

    A series of groans filled the classroom.

    Intern, wearing his now customary janitor uniform, stopped by PaulAsaran on his way to dump out a trash bin. In a low whisper, he said, “That’s more than we do in two weeks.”

    “Hush, you,” PaulAsaran replied. “I’m in my element.”

    “What do you mean by that?”

    Read More

    5 comments · 1,880 views
  • 9 weeks
    SA Reviews #126

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    A loud thump announced the arrival of Novel Idea into the dreaded dungeons of the Seattle’s Angel’s complex. To his surprise, the place had been completely redecorated. To his horror, he instantly recognized the new motif.

    Detention?!” he cried. “I’ve never been in detention in my life!”

    He turned to glare at the slide he’d been just dropped down. Corejo stood above, looking imperious—or at least trying to, it was Corejo after all.

    “You can’t do this to me! I’ll do my freaky time magic thing again!”

    “School’s in session. All of it.” Corejo winked—he actually winked—and pulled a level straight out of the Acme Budget Villain Catalogue. The portal closed with a resounding snap.

    He grumbled to himself and stomped over to the desk with his name on it and plopped down.

    Read More

    3 comments · 2,051 views
  • 11 weeks
    SA Reviews #125

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Corejo, as a Seattle’s Angel, had experienced many weird things during his tenure as a reviewer. Multiple base explosions, the fabric of spacetime ripping apart with seeming regularity, and the slightly disturbing obsession Red had for nuts.

    Even with all that, today was already vying for his top five list in terms of stuff he didn’t expect to be a part of when he woke up that morning.

    “Okay class!” Ferret announced from her position on top of a teacher’s desk. Before her, a room full of kids and a few adults sat at wooden desk, pencils and papers at the ready. “Today beings the first day of the School of Reviewers!”

    Corejo raised his hand.

    “Oh, and I see we already have a question. What is it?”

    “Yeah, uh, what is even the heck? Why do we have a reviewer school?”

    Read More

    15 comments · 1,924 views
  • 14 weeks
    SA Reviews #124

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “Look,” said Red, “I really think you’re going about this the wrong way.”

    “Oh really?” said Matthew419. “How would you suggest otherwise?”

    “Don’t dangle me by my tail off the edge of a fifty-story building?”

    A spotlight peered up at them. “This is Intern!” Intern shouted up through a megaphone. “We’ve got the building surrounded! Drop the squirrel and--”

    The megaphone squealed loudly, and there were sounds of a scuffle before another voice shouted at them once again. “No no no, don’t drop the squirrel!” said someone who Red thought might be Ebon Quill. “I mean, do, but first, just step away from the ledge and we’ll talk!”

    Read More

    12 comments · 2,687 views
  • 17 weeks
    SA Reviews #123

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The pillars rose up around him, towering over Corejo like judgmental parents. On top of the pillars stood the Pillars, looking down on him like disappointed parents.

    “This council of Equestria’s first league of extraordinary gentlecolts—”

    “And three gentlemares!”

    Starswirl rolled his eyes. “Yes, quite.” Clearing his throat, Starswirl continued, “find you, Corejo, guilty. Stygian, read him his sentence.”

    Stygian, who wasn’t standing on any of the pillars, unfurled a scroll and began reading. Corejo could have sworn his voice sounded familiar. “You are hereby sentenced to review on a tight deadline. You will have to forsake the niceties the Seattle’s Angels grant their employees in order to make your due date.”

    Read More

    13 comments · 3,461 views
  • 18 weeks
    SA Reviews #122

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Paul paced about the thing laughably referred to as his office. He could get about four steps down before having to make a turn, and that’s assuming his line of motion was just right. He glanced at his clock, grumbled some phrase unfit for the world wide web, and continued his pacing.

    “Hey, Paul!” The door swung open. Since this was the smallest office in the history of offices, that resulted in the door smacking Paul in the face. With a hand over his bleeding nose, he turned his glare upon the visitor, one Novel-Idea.

    “You were supposed to be here hours ago.” Except it came out something like “Ou er spsed here hrgo” due to the current state of his nose.

    Novel shrugged. “Blame T.O.M. We gonna do those reviews or what?”

    Paul stared incredulously. “Ou evn’t dn urrs?”

    “Not yet, nope.”

    Read More

    6 comments · 3,006 views
  • 21 weeks
    SA Reviews #121

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The room was lit by faint orange candlelight, barely enough to see by, but the sole occupant didn’t mind. In fact, he prefered the dim glow as it added to the mystique and allure of his persona. Words and phrases came to him more easily in this atmosphere, not to mention that it had a soothing effect on his mind. Everything in place, Ebon Quill raised the quill that was his namesake and dipped it into an inkwell. He held the quill to a piece of parchment, hands poised to write the first word.

    The door to his room burst open and a bright light flicked on.

    “Ack!” Ebon Quill’s first word became a jagged line across the paper. Fuming, he scrunched up the ruined parchment into a wad and tossed it into a nearby waste bin.

    “Jeez, man, how do you even see?” Intern asked as he crossed the room where Ebon Quill sat.

    Read More

    8 comments · 2,959 views
  • 23 weeks
    SA Reviews #120

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “So, uh, Paul?”

    “Yeah, Matthew?”

    “Why are you in my office?” Matthew shook his head. “Better yet, why are you hanging from the ceiling in my office?”

    “Oh, you know,” Paul started, “I don’t have anyone else to hang out with.”

    Matthew raised his right eyebrow. “Really?” he asked. “Puns?”

    “Not quite. There’s a method to my acting.”

    “Oh? Care to share?” Matthew asked.

    “Eh, not really,” Paul replied. “I’m putting these in at the perfect times. It’s all in the setupl, ya know?”

    “W-what?”

    “I was also sent by Ferret to wait for you to finish coming home. We got reviews to do.”

    Matthew sighed “Ugh, fine. What d’ya got?”

    ROUND 120

    Read More

    6 comments · 4,033 views
Jun
10th
2018

Story Reviews » SA Reviews #130 · 2:50pm June 10th

Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


“It wasn’t until this moment that Intern realized just how large the Seattle’s Angels compound was. Entire days could be lost trying to familiarize oneself with just a single wing, let alone the months it would take to explore the whole building. But as Celestia as his witness, he was determined to do it or so help him!”

“Intern, you’re monologuing again,” said a voice from above. “And you’re doing it in third person.”

Snapping his mouth shut, Intern looked up to see Red perched on top of a protruding branch from the wall. He nibbled on a nut as he regarded the befuddled temp-reviewer. “Is this what you’ve been doing all month? Getting lost and talking to yourself?”

“No,” Intern said, arms folded across his chest. “I’ve been very productive this entire time.”

“Oh yeah?” Red set his nut to the side, crossed his own arms, and leered down. “Prove it.”

ROUND 130


Once upon a time there was a family, of two pony princess sisters and the lover of the older princess. And then everything went bad.

Three poems. Three aftermaths.


I’m not usually a huge fan of poems. Haven’t reviewed a single one in my entire tenure as a Seattle’s Angel… until now.

One of my chief complaints about poetry is that I believe they need structure. Most poems strike me as a literary version of modern art: throwing words at a canvas that sound nice and hoping you can scratch meaning off the paint. But these? These words tell an actual story, which I appreciate, and because I could follow along with what happened, I could better appreciate the place the words have in the stories. There are three of them, narrated by distinct voices. I appreciated the way each section leaves enough (mostly obvious) clues to tell who’s who, and taken together they form a complete narrative.

Of course, when you realize what the narrators are speaking about, and the emotions that come with them, you can even see parts in the poems where the structure changes. Rhyme schemes come and go, fall apart, or return to stability as emotions twist and turn and impact how these characters perceive the events that happened, and it’s perhaps this cleverness that really seals the deal for its recommendation. Also there is a distinct sense of melancholy and regret and bitterness raging all through these pieces, and if there’s one thing I like it’s ponies being melancholic and bitter.

If you do too, give it a shot.

We haven’t featured poems in a while so have a few! Each one features an immortal (maybe, depending on the current showrunner asking that particular Twitter question) of the show and their feelings on certain matters. And guess what? I can actually follow along with these!

Yes, I’m not a connoisseur or anything when it comes to poetry, but these are straightforward enough that even all the flowery prose doesn’t let the meaning fly over my head. I personally like the last one the best as its randomness really captures the character.

Take a gander, take a powder, take SOMETHING, but definitely take the time to read this.


Daring Do goes to retrieve an ancient artifact. It is a journey of danger and darkness, that many embark on but few return from. And Daring braves it fiercely.

Naturally, she does so in the most awesome way possible. Just not as awesome as Rainbow Dash. But nearly.


Oh boy, a random story! Random stories, now, have a somewhat unfair reputation for being a little bit too… random. Instead of actually being “random,” they are simply the author firing out what they think should be a lulzy acid trip on a pure sugar high when what they really have is burned coffee that won’t even give a mild buzz. It takes talent to make the random tag work, trust me. A certain je n'ais se quoi that must be experienced rather than described.

But this story has it. Oh, it has it. It starts with Daring Do having a seemingly normal adventure, but she’s narrating it in a way that makes it immediately apparent this is anything but normal. It escalates from there. And escalates. And then does it some more, until you realize that in spite of how random this all is, it is still all perfectly in-character. I really liked this one, I really did. Take it for a ride and don’t put on your seatbelt.

This is the type of story that you have to read the whole way through in order to get the full impact of it. At first things will be a little weird and seem rather repetitive. But I swear that once you’re finished, it’ll all make sense. With a dash of adventure and a touch of absurdity, this left me with a smile on my face.

And I’m not saying anymore!


Disguises - check
Concert tickets - check
Temporary replacements - check

Celestia and Luna are ready to attend a Howls of Catastrophe concert. What could possibly go wrong?

A changeling infiltrating the band plotting to destroy Canterlot Castle, that's what.


I like stories of Celestia and Luna dropping out of their roles as princesses. Especially the ones where they are completely flippant about it, because they’re gods and they can just do whatever they want sometimes. In fact, that’s pretty much this entire story. And I loved it.

Some might call it pointless. Some might call it empty. But I call it a masterpiece, because it involves Celestia and Luna just not taking anything seriously at all, because when you’ve been alive for as long as they have, it just gets really hard to keep getting excited, even at death metal concerts. I think we need more stories like this. Way more stories like this, about Celestia and Luna being so totally comfortable with their roles as nigh-immortal demigods that sometimes they slip right back out of it and into total absurdity.

The silliness continues as Celestia and Luna play hookie to check out the pony equivalent of a death metal concert. At least I think it’s death metal. Sometimes ponies get their genres mixed up and leaves me with more questions than answers.

Anyway, this is a quick romp that’ll get a chuckle out of you from the weird band members and their “unique” looks. The sisters are a hoot (particularly Luna) and the methods they go to to have backup “replacements” is a good way to end on things.

If anything, I wanted this to be longer to stretch out the zaniness.


Celestia paints with starlight.


I miss Celestia and Luna on the show itself, so I’m glad we’re getting stories like this. One time period the show has always avoided was the time between Luna’s banishment and return, so the gap had to be filled with fanfiction like this touching story. While this story is in a crowded market to be sure, I think it strikes a fine balance between whimsy and mythicality, a cross-genre atmosphere that MLP has always been a part of. The idea of Celestia fiddling with the very heavens themselves to try and get them just right is the kind of adorable awesomeness you’d find in a beloved children’s storybook, and this story’s descriptions of it are very enjoyable to read. It does not veer into maudlin territory, but neither does it become too fluffy to lose its gravitas. This story portrays Celestia as a powerful being trapped by mortal concerns, and I love that idea.

Let’s end with a little more seriousness. This is another quick one, a single scene that depicts a lot. A canvas of colors, you might say.

This is a story that doesn’t tread new ground, but it always fascinates me how other fans depict Celestia during the time between Luna’s banishment and her return. In this one, she’s trying to get the stars right and the tasks to carefully mold the tapestry of the constellations is harder than even moving the sun or moon. Her reflections on the outcome and her ruminations with her attendant give us just a peek at how things have changed. It’s a little glimpse of just what Equestria lost when Nightmare Moon was sealed away.

Recommended for those that like to see Celestia in a more vulnerable state. She’s got a long road ahead of her before things get better.


“Fine, you can walk, talk, and review all at the same time,” Red said, resuming his nomming on the nut. “Just don’t make a habit of it. It’s annoying.”

Intern shrugged, his attention elsewhere. “I’ll tell you what’s annoying. Trying to find this blasted elevator. I’ve been from one end of this place to another and not a single spot to use this.” He held up a slip of paper the size of a business card.

“What is it?”

“An elevator pass! Why do we sell elevator passes if there are no elevators to use them on?”

Red could feel a headache coming on. “Bud, we don’t sell those.”

“But Wanderer D—”

“And you just answered your own question,” Red interrupted.

Blinking, Intern said, “You mean…”

“Sorry, but it looks like you got had.”

“But—”

The wall next to them pinged. A second later, a hidden door slid open to reveal Wanderer D, dressed in a slick red and gold elevator uniform. He held out his and, palm up. “Elevator pass?”

“I knew it!”


Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!

Report Wanderer D · 1,287 views ·
Comments ( 6 )

The real mind bender here is: Did that elevator always exist or did D create it just to mess with Intern some more?

4880129
Indeed. How far down does the rabbit hole go?

FTL
FTL #3 · 2 weeks ago · · ·

4880129

4880143
Or did it start as a way to mess with Intern and then has escalated into making a fool of Red?

We may never know.....

4880152
Do we dare to delve in the minds of Red and WandererD?

'Beware all ye who enter here!'

You guys didn't know about the elevators? What do you use to get around, then?

Only three stories about best princesses?! 0/10 never trusting your recommendations again—

> contains lesbian Rainbow Dash

… okay, I'll let this one slide. :trixieshiftright:

Login or register to comment