noise."Obligatory June Blog Post · 1:50am Jun 8th, 2018
Happy June!
This is actually a bit late, but really par for the course.
I'm going to jump all over various topics here, sort of like a chipmunk on a pogo stick, so be prepared for a little bit of mental whiplash. Might want to grab your favorite beverage just as a precaution (although this is in no way a rant blog).
Where to begin?
I got a new writing program. It's called Focus Writer, and it claims to eliminate all distractions while writing. That's cool and all; the part I like the most is that you can set it to a black background with green monochrome and if you fullscreen it, there are no menu bars at the top and bottom unless you drag over them.
I like that. It really takes me back to my roots, although in the interest of full disclousure, my original story-writing machine was an odd red monochrome flat screen thing. I don't think that anyone makes a visual duplicate of that, which is probably just as well.
Also it keeps track of your daily word count or minute count, whichever you prefer.
I have been using it to work on an upcoming contest fic for the Rare Prompts group. This time, it's a bit easier; the prompt is stallion on Earth.
While I could have fit an upcoming fic into that category (it's on Earth, and there's a stallion), it's way over the maximum word count already, so that was a no-go.
And there was an idea that I've wanted to use in a fic for years, and this turns out to be a good place for it. It's one of those things that's kind of serious and kind of not and this feels like just the right place to use it.
That brings me to a related topic, sort of. I was talking at weekend work with one of the other staffers who writes sometimes, and we often discuss books and stuff when it's a slow day. Now, I never did a behind-the-scenes blog for The Fixer, and a lot of y'all probably never read it, which is okay. It's not on Fimfic, and it's scary to go off-site for reading material (trust me; I used to be active on Fictionpress).
Anyway, he asked me what the three things I thought were most important to starting a story.
I explained that I mostly wrote boring slice-of-life stuff, stories where in many cases literally nothing of consequence happens. As a result, the required plotting can be rather loose.
But even that isn't without a bit of planning. The first thing that I came up with was good characters. I've always thought of myself as a character writer (I'm sure you guys will let me know in the comments if you think I actually suck at characters), and obviously if you're writing a character piece and you have terrible characters, you're probably not going to have a good time.
After that, I thought mightily. Surely I, famous writer and all that, could come up with at least two things that I did to create a story.
Right?
And then I remembered that most of my stories are developed around some sort of hook. Either a what-if idea, or a scene I want to see, or some little tidbit of knowledge I want to pass along to my readers all wrapped up neatly in a story.
I shared some of that with my loyal readers when I did the blog post for my recent week of madness—the list of ideas of bad things that might happen to Twilight which would precipitate her burning down a Starbuckers in frustration.
I also am pretty sure that I said in the blog post for Derpy Accidentally a Portal Gun VI that I had been thinking of a story where a unicorn had a shotgun.
Thing was, that wasn't the story I meant to use it in.
Warning—Spoiler ahead! Skip to the next image if you don't want to be spoilered for The Fixer.
I meant to use it in The Fixer, and my thought process went like this:
--A unicorn with a shotgun, using it to defend herself from burglars.
--Why does she have a shotgun?
--She's in the Mob
--Why is she in the Mob?
--She's a fixer. She makes things disappear.
The entire story was built around that thread. Interestingly, though, the scene with her using a shotgun never appeared in that story. There was a hint at it, when she mentioned shooting clay pigeons, but that was it.
Speaking of stories y'all never read, I was going through a bunch of paper copies of stories and filing them away. I cleared a pile of a desk I rarely use, and came across one I hadn't remembered I wrote. And if I don't remember it, it's a safe bet most of you don't, either.
Plus, it's thematic! It's a summer fic!
I'm slowly gathering materials together for my next blog post series. This one is going to be an overview of farm equipment. After all, I left you guys with ponies in harnesses, but nothing to pull.
I might also cover some non-farm wagons, or maybe I won't. Depends on how things go. I've got one book already, two coming from different libraries in the state, and two more that will come from Amazon once I un-max my Amazon credit card (seriously, that poor thing took a beating the last two months).
IRL, I've been waging war with the plant and animal life in my backyard. Basically, anything I plant tends to not do well unless it's a lilac bush, whereas anything I don't plant thrives. Case in point, the second year I lived here, I planted grapevines because I thought it would be nice to eat grapes right off the vine.
They died within a year.
The last two years, I've been waging a losing battle against wild grapevines. My shed has vanished (which is just as well; it's an eyesore), and I lost track of a row of white pines I planted a year after I moved.
I found the pines again over the last week. Three of them are still alive and doing well; one of them got crushed by a falling tree, and the last died of unknown reasons. Grapevines might have been involved.
Vines, it turns out, are evil. They climb up everything, and in once case in my front yard, they even climb up each other. There's an old joke: why don't sharks eat lawyers? Professional courtesy. Turns out vines aren't that noble.
Also, FWIW, you're going to see the earth pony in the upcoming contest fic hates vines. Y'all know why now.
Source
She probably loves vines
Speaking of which, how about a sneak preview?
“You and your plants.” She brushed her hair back and then lifted her hand. “Bet you can’t do this.” Intertwining her fingers, she bent them backwards, and then worked her way down her knuckles, producing a cracking noise at each one.
He smiled. He knew how this game was played. “Even if I could crack a hoof--which is a really bad idea, by the way. Months of wearing special shoes and limping around everywhere. You’re lucky that you don’t really need your hands. But you haven’t even got a tail, so if we’re going to play the game of who can do what with their body I’m gonna win.”
“I know a girl who can wiggle her ears.”
“So?” He swiveled his around. “One forward and one back, and then I’ll admit defeat.”
“Eh, you had me at the fur.” Francine illustrated her point by rubbing her hand across his back, her fingers putting just the right amount of pressure on his spine. “Okay, so can you explain chlorophyll so an idiot can understand it?”
“You’re not an idiot.”
“Pretend that I am.”
Before I close out, I should also mention that part of the reason I've been a bit quieter than usual the last couple of weeks is because besides all the fun IRL stuff, I'm also actively pre-reading two stories. One of them is likely to be the kind of story that makes y'all want to say "Dammit, Admiral" but this time it's not my fault. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and blame ocalhoun right now, even though he probably has no idea it's coming. Just as a precaution, you see.
The other one is something that I think some of y'all will like. At this point, I really can't say anything else (well, I could, but I don't want to be premature). Suffice to say that there's a character in it who's been mentioned in two of my fics already.
Oh—I almost forgot. Not that long ago, Heartshine did a blog about emotions, human and pony. And we got to talking and I wound up making a new group!
The idea of the group is for people who are experts in a particular topic to help people that might need that particular expertise for a story. It's called The Circle of Knowledge (which is named after a reference book I happen to own), and if you know things about things, you're welcome to join and share your knowledge with anyone who's interested.
More importantly, if you know someone who knows things about things, get them to join! Or, if you can't convince them to join but they have posted blog posts about things, there's a thread for that!
Also also also, Ennio Morricone is amazing.
That is all.
Considering how he uses whistles and percussion and vocalists imitating animal calls so much, I wonder if Fluttershy ever taught her critters any of his tunes, with the birds and maybe with some beavers to bang on wood. Harry's paws could probably do pizzicato.
Obligatory June Comment
... There's stories off-site? ... Stories that don't involve ponies? I've heard tales of such things.
I should be able to read this one (need to go back to the last one at some point). I had a major thesis milestone, finals next week, followed by a couple state move.
I'll definitely have to check that out.
4878729
Yep. There are other sites featuring ponywords. Before Progress was added to fimfiction, there were a couple story arcs underway on the fanfiction.net version that were cancelled for being too silly when it was uploaded here.
Realitycheck/Rhjunior wrote brilliant stories before he threw a tantrum and packed up and left for archiveofourown.
Pastebin has a number of good fics that were either too smutty for fimfiction or the author never bothered migrating it/
4878738
I was actually just being a snarky smart aleck. saying that I didn't know stuff stories in general (ie non mlp fanfics) didn't exist off of fimfiction
Your tree got crushed by a tree?
I remember when I did gardening it was the other way around.
Strawberries were the best example though. First year? Nothing. Second year? They filled their area. Third year? The vegetable garden was a strawberry patch and it became a war of lawn vs. Strawberries for the fourth.
Morning Glory likewise. We planted 4 of them. 4. Not 14. Not 44. and yet within 2 years they not only took over that section of the fence but were so aggressive in their spread that by the fall the gate they were attached to was completely hidden by them which which neat was problematic when we would spend the fall trying to remove all trace of them only to have them just as plentiful the following year. Friends came to us for advice and asked for seeds from them but they were in the perfect spot apparently as no one else ever had luck with them.
If we went on a trip for 3 or 4 days we'd have to untangle the morning glory from the gate to get in.
I've been trying to regrow grass uniformly for 2 years or so now. Between moles tearing holes in the yard and patches getting burned from fertilizer where the spreader spilled too much, it's been frustrating. The anti-dandelion blends work pretty well, and the spring grass was quite healthy and green in the places where it didn't get burned. Maybe I should get a hand spreader for finer control so a lot doesn't spill out when pausing and turning 180 degrees.
Ah yes, Morricone. I still think that a big part of what made Leone's western so great was the incredible soundtrack.
The quintessence of it being for the final scene of For a Few Dollars More.
Also I've got an aunt called Francine. That is all.
4878738
Thank you for that comprehensive and exhaustive look at ponywords outside of FiMfiction.
The Fixer was an interesting story. I'm not sure how I felt about it, other than I felt something.
I hear ya about being at war with plant life. I'm probably looking at getting a tree removed from the front yard in the near future; stupid Bradford Pear has already dropped two limbs in the past year, and while it's far enough away from the house that it's not in danger of hitting the house itself, the fallen limbs do a bang-up job of blocking sidewalks and driveways, and its crazy-fast growth rate means that even though the branches overhanging out into the street were trimmed back in October, they're already hanging out into the street again.
Ah, the joys of home ownership...
My pick for greatest film composer of all time would either be Basil Poledouris or Joe Hisaishi.
Sorry, Mr. Williams.
My first portable computer was a Compaq 3! Wow, that brings back memories. I miss that thing.
4878680
I don't know, but it does seem like something that she could probably teach animals to do if she wanted to. Just some of her birds imitating some of the whistling parts would be pretty awesome, to be honest.
Actually, it would also be creepy AF to be walking to Fluttershy's house and hear something like the video you linked coming from the animals. I know I'd turn tail and just go the other way, because there's no way that it would end well for me.
4878715
4878729
It's a dangerous and scary place, and that's a fact.
It's going to be interesting. Thus far, I've scraped up books from all over Michigan, found a farmer that at least knows a few things and is willing to show me some horse-powered equipment (not in action, sadly), and also in the process found at least one thing I was wrong about in my last series of blog posts.
Ah well, that's how research goes.
Hopefully as time goes on the group will pick up a little steam. I guess if nothing else, if one person uses it to find out something that they didn't know, that's a win.
4878749
It did. Nature's a bitch like that.
Funnily enough, it's not the only one. Some of the trash trees back there were growing at really odd angles due to having other trees fall on them, or the ground shifting under them.
4878764
Honestly, I wouldn't mind if the backyard got taken over by strawberries. That would be nice. The morning glory I could probably do without, though. Fighting plants is not always my idea of fun times.
I've got some creeping plants that are crowding out the grass in a couple spots (one's ivy, I think; the other might be myrtle--I'm not really sure), and I don't mind them so much because they're in places that are hard to mow already.
I also found an opportunity yew that might get transplanted, especially now that a deer has eaten all the dogwood I planted this year.
4878785
I don't worry about grass at all--there's only one place in my yard that I'd like it to grow, and I'm not sure it would. Next year, once I get everything cleared out, I might seed that spot or I might not. Everything else, I just let whatever wants to grow there and clear it when it starts to get too tall. I had some huge erosion problems the first couple years I was here, and the soil is a lovely mix of clay and sand; I figured that a lot of grass probably wouldn't like that too much, but there were surely weeds that would deal with it (and there are).
That's the nice thing about being in the country. The only part of my yard that you can really see is the drainage ditch by the road; for the rest, as long as it's somewhat under control, it doesn't really matter.
4878792
Honestly, I was never particularly into the spaghetti westerns that he did the soundtracks for as movies, but I love the soundtracks. I have one of his on vinyl, in fact.
That's a great name. In case you were interested, the Francine in this story is named for Francine Villeneuve, the famous Canadian jockey.
4878899
Thanks!
4879117
Yeah, while I don't have any of the pear trees, I do have a few that like to drop limbs--a weeping willow, and several cottonwoods. I'm probably okay on the willow for a while; it managed to lose its entire crown over the past decade, but it's growing back slowly (and I've got a huge pile of willow pieces that I'm working through as I clear other stuff). As for the cottonwoods, probably some day I'll have to pay someone to trim them back, but I do like them. They could totally demolish my house if they wanted to; tree branches are a lot heavier than some people appreciate.
Besides the grape vines in the backyard, I've also got a stupid trumpet vine in the front yard that's growing everywhere. I think it's beyond the point that it could be killed easily, so it's down to merciless pruning every year and hope for the best. That damn vine in trying to get into the house, too.
4879606
Trevor Jones has some good songs, too, although I don't know if I'd consider him particularly great. And let's not forget about Howard Shore, as well--he's no slouch.
4880476
I've still got mine. It hasn't been booted up in years, but it's still in my closet, maybe ready to go when there's a need. I even know where the install disks are, so I can remind it that it does have an operating system.
4882332
Indeed, The Dark Crystal is in my top 5 movie scores.
And The Last of the Mohicans has great workout tracks, though the main theme was adapted from a Scottish pipe tune. Just get up on the elliptical trainer, and no matter what your target heart rate, it's difficult to hold back and pace yourself. Instant "runner high."
Then I switch to the chest press.
4882330
)
If you don't have any Bradford Pears on your property, count yourself fortunate. The things are a curse. Landscapers and builders like them because they grow fast, so they can quickly give a home that nice big shade tree that gives it curb appeal and helps it sell. But because of their fast growth, the wood is fairly weak to begin with -- and as they get older, they love to start growing out branches horizontally in every old random direction, practically perpendicular to the main trunk, which is just a dropped branch waiting to happen since all of the branches sprout out from the same central point on the trunk. (Plus, they typically only have a 20-25 year lifespan anyway. So they last just long enough to become the next homeowner's problem when you sell the house.
And just to add insult to injury -- despite the name, they don't even produce any edible fruit as compensation for all the trouble.
4882317
Yeah my mom declared war on the deer after they ate an entire garden on her. Nothing survived. She responded by planting various peppers and spraying a mix containing pepper on the leaves. Chili powder and soap I think.
That worked for a bit... then she had to chicken wire it off.
My mom had to full on cage the vegetable garden. It had a wire roof and everything.
4882433
My property's too old to have anything fancy that a builder might want to put in--the house was probably built in the fifties, perhaps before (that's actually not entirely clear on the mortgage, but some of the building techniques look more like what someone would have done in the 20s [but then again, I live in the country, so it's entirely possible it was built by someone who did it the same way he's always built houses*]). Aside from around the house itself, most of what is on the property is whatever was there way back when, or whatever decided it wanted to grow.
_____________________________________________
*It's also had at least one addition put on, possibly two, conceivably three.
4882452
I was hot pepper spraying the plants as soon as I saw nibble marks. That apparently didn't deter the deer, since the plants continued to get eaten. So my next step was to get an actual chemical deer repellent . . . and over the next 24 hours, the deer ate everything, even plants he hadn't touched before. The only things left are the maidengrass and the lilacs.
4882456
Did they mislable deer bait?
Yeah, like I said, my mom ended up making a cage out of wire to keep what was left safe.
But hey, lillac's are pretty so it's not all bad.
4882462
That's what I'm wondering. It's napthaline, so maybe I got the one deer that loves that smell.
I've had good luck with lilacs; they seem to like my yard and do well. I just don't want to landscape with only lilacs, just in case they get sick or something and I lose everything. That happened with my grandpa's sumac.
I'll keep watering and fertilizing the dogwood that the deer ate, in case any of it pulls through, and next year I'll be sure to put in deer-proof fences for everything that I plant that a deer might like to eat.
4882455
Well, Bradfords aren't exactly "fancy" -- but they weren't introduced into the U.S. as an ornamental tree until the mid-'60s, either.
4882499
My yard, anything that isn't a weed is 'fancy.'
4882313
i know. From my experience, it's mostly textbooks
yeah that's typically how it works
4885902
Amusingly enough, the most recent collection of books I got (Amazon and the library) are all for research, which in some ways makes them textbooks.
On the plus side, I now know more than I did. So that's something.