In Which I Tolerate Eclipse: Chapter 22 -- Fire and Ice · 11:13am Jun 6th, 2018
It’s the middle of the night, the storm has arrived, and Bella is freezing. Even with all her layers, she can’t stop her teeth from chattering. And she stutters almost every word a bazillion times:
“W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-ime is it?”
“I’m ok-k-k-k-k-k-kay.”
“J-J-J-J-Jake, you’ll f-f-f-freez-z-z-ze.”
It gets old fast. Also, it’d be nice to call back to her past in Phoenix (“Maybe Arizona hadn’t been completely bled out of me. I’d never experienced a winter this cold back in Phoenix.”) but we never get anything. Weak.
Jacob, who’d been sitting outside the tent in his wolf form, enters as a human and declares he’ll be acting as a space heater. Remember how is body temperature is about a hundred and eight? He’ll warm up the tent with that. Which makes like no sense, since Bella’s body temperature is only ten degrees cooler and she’s not warming up the tent with that. Anyway, Edward and Jacob macho-off before Jacob climbs into Bella’s sleeping bag. Without asking permission, I might add. As much as Bella hates to admit it, she is warming up, and it’s not long before she manages to drift off to sleep.
At one point, she wakes up groggily, in that state where she still feels like she’s sleeping. Edward and Jacob are talking, having a semi-civilized discussion about Bella. Short, padding-free version: as much as it seems otherwise, they won’t hurt each other because that would hurt Bella. They agree to behave themselves for Bella’s sake. Bella drifts back to sleep. End chapter.
Clinginess Meter: 34
I swear, it’s like I’m entering some kind of time warp or literary version of Zeno’s paradox (pony name: Zebro’s paradox? Zeneigh’s paradox?). The ending keeps approaching, yet it never gets any closer. There’s a motherfucking vampire war approaching, and we’re stuck with all this relationship bullshit that I don’t care two figs about.
Let me put it this way: Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus is a very goofy game. It takes place in an alternate 1960’s. It’s ruled by Nazis thanks to super science. Super science they reverse-engineered from an ancient secret Jewish techno-cult. One level has you disguising yourself as an actor to infiltrate a Nazi base. You go to an audition for a propaganda film. The role you’re auditioning for is yourself. Ronald Reagan is also auditioning. The producer of the film is Hitler himself. He’s near-senile. He shoots Reagan when he thinks the latter’s being disrespectful. When it’s your turn to audition, you gun down the soldier you’re supposed to be fake-fighting. Hitler loves this and hires you on the spot. Later in the same level, you fight giant diesel-powered mechs. With a rocket launcher in one hand and a Gatling shotgun in the other. Did I mention that all of this one level takes place on Venus?
And yet I cared about the romance in that pile of wonderful absurdity far, far more than I ever have cared about this romance. The characters in Wolfenstein’s romance, BJ and Anya, are people. They have motivations, likes, dislikes, and personalities outside of their romance. The world doesn’t revolve around their romance. It’s quiet and subdued, not very suited for grand gestures. The wedding ring BJ gives to Anya is a hand-me-down like Edward’s, but it’s not glorious and wonderful and oh! so beautiful. It’s a simple band with far more emotional weight than beauty; it’s one of the last reminders BJ has of his mother. And that’s just in this game; a lot of the setup had been done in the previous game, where they were pulled together by a desire to get rid of Nazis and fell in love almost by accident.
How the heck can a game where you ride a giant fire-breathing robot dog through the streets of Nazi-occupied New Orleans do romance so much better than this?
I say borrow form Discworld and just call it Xeno's paradox. That pony was weird.
Given the game's exponentially higher creativity and ability to use its ideas well, I think the better question is how can't it do romance better?
I never thought I would see a heartfelt analysis of the character of BJ goddamn Blazkowitz.
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It's not even the last one I'll have. BJ in The New Order and The New Colossusis a surprisingly dynamic and well-written character.
(Have you ever played either of the new Wolfenstein games? If not, I'd recommend it, particularly The New Order. It's got all the gung-ho Nazi-shooting machismo you'd expect, wrapped up in strong characterization, good worldbuilding, a plot that sits nicely in the sweet spot between serious and bonkers, and an understanding of Nazi ideology to punch you in the gut and remind you just why "Nazis = evil". And all this is LEGITIMATELY good, not just "good for a game where you dual-wield lasers against Nazis on the moon".)
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Unfortunately, I get motion-sick playing FPS's, so Wolfenstein will forever be 8-bit to me. :B
Why are you doing this to yourself? You're going to suffer an aneurism.
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Which is sad, because The Host was halfway decent.
Ok, devil's advocate time.
If someone is dying of hypothermia, the correct course of action is to warm them up, permission or no. A lot of the time, they get delirious, and sometimes even unresponsive, so they won't be able to give consent if they SHOULD want to.
Not saying this was definitely the case here, with Bella, but at least from Jacob's perspective, I can see how it could appear that way, and if it did, he did the right thing.