Let's get started.
A JD Review - Deadpool 2 (2018) · 2:53am May 21st, 2018
Oh, hi. It's me. You know me, right? Of course you do. Name's Deadpool, and today... we're gonna review the sequel straight from the puckered butthole of God's favorite idiot. Let's get started shall--?
NO! Not today, Deadpool!
Oh, look, it's JD, the idiot who tries to write my jokes for me. What are you doing in my little slice of heaven?
What did we talk about yesterday?
Not to ejaculate into the soap dispenser?
No... damn it, no! I'M doing this review! Me! You never take things seriously!
And you do?
... Mostly.
How about this, we BOTH do the review! You cover the main stuff, and I'll jump in when you're choking out there. Deal?
You promise not to spoil the movie too much in the non-spoiler section?
Promises are meant to be broken, my friend.
... That's the best I'm gonna get. Screw it, let's do this.
NON-SPOILER REVIEW
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, I love that song.
Alright, so Deadpool 2 just came out recently, and I finally went out to see it with a few friends. I'll make it clear, that I absolutely LOVED the first Deadpool. If anything, I'd say that film was perfect, and Ryan Reynolds absolutely nailed the character and the charisma that Deadpool is known for. The film is a 10/10 in my eyes.
Oh, you shouldn't have. No, really, you shouldn't have. Try pulling it back a bit. Come one, I can take it.
Nearly all the jokes from the first Deadpool hit for me. The story was simple, brutal, and extremely entertaining.
Still deep-throating it, I see? I knew I should've reviewed it with someone with actual balls.
With Deadpool 2, I gotta say that while it was extremely entertaining, the cast was fantastic, and the story was much larger than previously, some of the jokes just didn't nail it.
JD... that hurts, man. You can make fun of my mother, God rest her soul, you can make fun of Ryan Reynolds, you can make fun of those X-Pussies, you can even make fun of Cable and die in the process. But when you make fun of my comedy, that just burns on the inside.
Yeah, most of the jokes worked, just not all of them. I was pretty much laughing at every single joke in the first Deadpool, but not in this one. That's pretty much the only downside I can see. Other than that I loved the film, several scenes in particular, which we'll get into for the spoiler section.
Yeah, I especially loved it in the film when there's not actually a spoiler in here, just Deadpool dropping by to say hi. And draw more fanart of me, edCOM! Your deviantart's been lacking little ol' me lately.
Did you just put those black bars over me? You racist son of a bitch.
Anyway, this film was still great. I highly recommend it if you're a Deadpool fan, a comicbook fan, and just a fan of pure insanity and wise-cracking assassins. 9/10. Definitely check it out.
FINALLY! Let's get in between those cheeks and started blowing them spoilers...
SPOILER REVIEW
Don't make me cry now, man. We're just getting started...
So right off the bat, Vanessa is killed and Deadpool keeps trying to find a way to kill himself so he can join her in paradise. And, of course, he fails because his "heart isn't in the right place".
Thanks for reminding me, asshole. Oh, God, here they come. Here come the water works. Thank Jessie I'm wearing this mask.
Deadpool then finds himself back in Professor X's mansion with Colossus. It's here were given one of the best cameos in Deadpool 2, pretty much the whole cast from the past few X-Men movies. Absolutely amazing. Then we're introduced to Russell, aka Firefist, the boy Cable wants to kill for murdering his family in the future. And it's the very same kid that Deadpool has to save in order to get his heart in the right place and join Vanessa.
Pretty emotional, right? Pretty high stakes? Yeah, there's a reason Ryan Reynolds was given a writing credit in this movie.
Remember X-Force? Remember when they were shown heavily in the promotional material. Yeah, they all die like right away. Rest in peace, Peter. You were the hero we needed, but not the one we deserved.
Hey, at least I went back in time and saved his life! And stopped Wolverine from fighting that abomination we don't speak of. And stopped Ryan Reynolds from creating his first of many tragedies, i.e. Green Lantern.
I honestly thought Cable was great. Josh Brolin's been killing it lately. The way he utilized time travel to save Deadpool's life was especially clever. Kudos, writers. But, yeah, other than that I really loved this movie. I feel like it wasn't as funny as the first, but definitely an improvement in everything else. 9/10 all around for the great writers, director, cast and crew! Hopefully there's a Deadpool 3 on the way!
If Disney haven't already snuffed out those plans yet. Well, this was fun! Hopefully we can do this again sometime!
Never again.
We'll see about that. See ya in the Infinity War crossover, everyone!
DEADPOOL!!!
What? We're in the spoiler section, right? And don't expect much of me in the crossover, I'm just gonna Stan Lee my way in there. It'll be fun, though.
Damn it all. Oh, well, what did you all think of the movie?
From a guy who thinks Deadpool is a total WASTE in the MCU and should never have been created, i think you got him totally in character, a staple of your work!
Deadpool: Cut the hate breaks Thanos. (Brolin is Cable and Thanos) man those MCU guys fucking suck in their movie, they went tootles with just a snap (snaps fingers, with a gauntlet pulled out of nowhere)... well for compensation for those A-holes, I've got Cable, played by Thanos fucking Brolin, besides, I defeated that golden blue fatass in the comics before, snatched his super-awesome gauntlet of half-mass destruction from him, poor bastard, never got the chance to woo his wooby-dooby Mistress.
A great sequel to a great adaptation, even if killing Vanessa seems like kind of a poor writing decision.
I know, right?! I mean, you give me a sequel, but you kill the hot chick?! Michael Bay never would've allowed this!
WADE GOD DAMMIT! This isn't even part of the review!
Sucks to be you, bro. No fourth wall holds any power over me!
PINKIE PIE!
Wait, Pinkie?! Where?!
Hi everypony! Hi, Deadpool!
Hi, Pinkie! Wanna go freak out some comic artists?
Sure!
Sheesh, those two are a nightmare.
I do feel the obligatory need to complain about Josh Brolin as Cable. Don't get me wrong, he's a decent actor, and he's good here, but it never ceases to bother me, since he was already cast as Thanos three years before this movie went into production, and honestly, I like him better as a straight bad guy, rather than an anti-hero. I read somewhere that they were thinking of casting Pierce Brosnan as Cable. Come on, that would've been awesome! Oh well, we still got a good movie.
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Deadpool: I thought commiting fucking suicide was the best solution to get to God's Kingdom. What a fucking waste of life.
Ah, shut fucking up, Wadefeet. What you're doing is way beyond comprehensive than ever.
Deadpool: It's Wade, Wade, fuck you! Hey at least I've got a sense of dignity, and love of pure genuinity for Jessica.
Fuck you Wadehole.
(Deadpool groans)
I think I actually like this more than the first one.
I got hype when Juggernaut was revealed to be the big villain in the prison. I honestly thought it was gonna be some obscure C-List villain Deadpool could quip about, and his theme in the OST is hilarious.
X-Force was awesome too (both teams). Hopefully the Disney/Fox deal takes long enough so we can get at least one movie with this team. Also, Colossus is becoming one of my favorite X-Men because of these movies.
If we do get a sequel, I wonder if Deadpool will have a daughter like in the comics since him and Vanessa want to have a child and she’s alive again. And even if it isn’t a sequel, I wouldn’t worry about Disney doing anything with Deadpool. He makes too much money to get rid of like that.
And I know you’re lying, Deadpool. You’re gonna be the one to defeat Thanos in the crossover.
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After the emotional kick in the nuts that was infinity war, this was the right movie for me to see next. I have not laughed that hard at a movie since the 1st hangover movie, the post credit scenes were the some of my favorite moments and i hope we get more.
If Deadpool and Pinkie Pie do meet up in the fic, forget Thanos, those two could do untold amounts of chaos that would make discord go into a corner in the fetal position.
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Like Thanos tries to use the Gauntlet on them and it just explodes.
Honestly better than the last Deadpool
I really liked this film as much as the first film, maybe even better. This was the Marvel film I needed to see after Infinity war. Josh Brolin as Cable was really good, even though I find it strange that he also plays Thanos in MCU. That jab at Logan and the X-Men cameo (the cast just there for a moment and being like "Nope! We don't want any part of this.") I really laughed out loud at those parts. And Juggernaut (What a great surprise that was!) was done justice, honestly better than what X3 made him.
And Wade, thanks for the shout out and I apologise for the lack of fanart drawings I have of you. Don't get me wrong, I like drawing you (when I feel like it or when my co-artist drops more colorings for me) but I've been focused on...other more interesting things. But hey, I do have more ideas such as Yeah, like I'm actually gonna tell you, so I'll just troll you with the spoiler tag. So I may draw more of you in future.
Edit:
Speaking of fanart
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4865500 I thank you! But I feel like the MCU could use a wise-ass assassin. Could be really fun.
4865517 And Deadpool's got the hots for Mistress Death, as well.
4865519 Pinkie and Deadpool. Can't believe they name dropped in the movie. Amazing.
4865528 If anything, Deadpool's gonna get ripped in half again.
4865541 It would be beautiful.
4865594 In some ways, yes.
4865741 Would those other "more interesting things" just so happen to be the SunLight fanart? If so... then you got taste.
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Or, totally worthless!
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Maybe.
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4866099 God, I love that smirk.
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Hi! Name's Pinkpool, Mare with a Mouth, Regenerating Degenerating Smile-ator! And I love parties, chatting to every "body" watching in front, kicking baddies' butts and Cherrychangas!
(Pinkie's voice in a British accent) Oh really? Nice take on your boyfriend, Wade. Plus, how the fuck we became your voices?
(Pinkie's dumber voice) Ah, the hell with that, my good sir. besides, it oughta unfair if only motherfuckin' Wade had these two subconscious sumbitches talkin' to him in his fuckin' mind.
Ooh, thank you so so much, my new voice BFFs!
(Unison) you're welcome.
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Have you seen this forum? It made me think of your upcoming crossover.
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Hey yo! JD, Deadpool and Pinkpool here, check out this awesome video we made with my fans, it's a fan video starring me, and three sexy boobs from different Marvel continuities, and the X-Force. (Sob) can't believe my devoted fanbase invited me to make this heavenly and wonderful project, I promise myself I wouldn't cry my ass out (sob), never been so fuckin' proud in my life (stops sobbing). No, not just you, everyone's gonna watch, it's fucking hilarious, based on the song "Gaston" from Beauty and the Beast. Yup I'm awesome when I sing, while I kick assdicks and kebabing with my swords right Pinks?
Yeah! It's super-duper funny! Try it, although it's rated R for Profanity, and oh, Spoiler alert, Spidey.
(British accent) Shhh. Oh, you're going to love it alright
(Pinkie's voice) It's fucking extraordinary!
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Whaddaya think, my friend?
I completely cheered out in joy when the one and only Deadpool killed Barakapool! In addition to saving Russell, Vanessa, and Peter, it was the perhaps the most heroic Wade has ever done.
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Talk about what he did to Douche Lantern.
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Deadpool also called The Storm King a douchebag in his own fanfic Deadpool in Equestria, calling him Leiv Schreiber, because he was Sabretooth in the douche X-Men O: W, also referencing the movie's name itself, whom he really despised. The one movie that ruined his reputation, appearing as a "Merc without a Mouth" type o' guy.
Ha! Fuck Schreiber, that's what happens when he crosses me, The Merc with a fucking Mouth, he served my bullets in Hell, if it weren't for me, MLP the movie would become douche-ish like that pain in the ass as XMOW.