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Rambling Writer

Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams

More Blog Posts141

  • Tuesday
    Equestrian Road Rage

    Yesterday, I saw this video, and if Equestria ever gets cars, this is pretty much exactly what pony road rage would look like.

    And then I thought: what would current Equestrian road rage look like if it was actually rage-y?

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    4 comments · 91 views
  • 20 weeks
    The Automaticity of Magic

    In some ways, I love fantasy because of the easy outs it provides. In other ways, I loathe fantasy because of the easy outs it provides.

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    18 comments · 265 views
  • 61 weeks
    FimFiction Feghoot Festival Future Finalities

    Hello, friends! If you're still planning on writing feghoots for the the First Fimfiction Feghoot Contest, get cracking! The submission deadline is this Friday, July 19th at 11:59:59 pm, Pacific Time. If you beseech Super Trampoline for a short extension via PM, he might give you one, but don't push it. Get those stories in; we're almost

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    3 comments · 141 views
  • 64 weeks
    Looking at the pilot through season 9 eyes

    We’re halfway through the final season already. With the finale so close and almost a decade of pony, I figured I’d take a look at the premiere again. How does it hold up? What looks weird eight seasons later? What sorts of early-series quirks got ironed out later on?

    I stink at introductions, so here we go.

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    15 comments · 429 views
  • 66 weeks
    Feghoot Contest

    Do you like long, drawn-out puns? Do you like subjecting people to those puns? Do you like subjecting me to those puns? Do you like me scrutinizing those puns with a critical eye? Do you like lots of FimFic-famous authors scrutinizing those puns with a critical eye? Do you like possibly winning $100 for doing so and having your pun subjected to hundreds of other people in the process? How

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    5 comments · 184 views

In Which I Tolerate Eclipse: Chapter 12 -- Time · 1:40pm May 16th, 2018

Alice on a good day is amazing.

“By the way, I love my gift. You shouldn’t have.”

“Alice, I didn’t!”

“Oh, I know that. But you will.”

Bella, Edward, and Alice are walking to the car after school when Alice drops that the Cullens are having a graduation party for her. Bella’s surprised it’s so close to graduation already.

In theory, I was anxious, even eager to trade mortality for immortality. After all, it was the key to staying with Edward forever.

CM + 1

But now, it’s finally hitting home to Bella that she’s abandoning everything she knows, taking a leap of faith. Edward notices her shock and tries to reassure her that she can wait. Bella, however, wants to be a vampire so she’s not a burden on the Cullens anymore; her humanity and mortality makes them all go out of their way to protect her. The two of them have yet another discussion on how Edward doesn’t want Bella to become a vampire. The conversation shifts to how Bella doesn’t want to marry Edward so quickly out of high school. There’s an interesting bit on how Edward was already a man, culturally speaking, when he was turned, but like most interesting things in this series, it’s not followed up on.

The next morning, we get another reminder (via newspaper) on the killings going on in Seattle. Edward says Alice hasn’t seen anything and is worried her foresight is failing. He wants to talk to Jasper, as he has some experience with this sort of thing. Bella and Edward skip school and go to the Cullens’. A debate ensues, with the family mostly split on whether or not to act. Jasper decides that he needs to show Bella what happened to him. He rolls up the sleeve of his sweater to reveal that his arm is covered in vampire bite marks.

Clinginess Meter: 16

See that? See all that? Sixteen pages. These books really love to take their time.

One of the things I like about reading fanfiction is that the short length of a lot of the stories means that, as fanfiction writers write, they figure out what works and what doesn’t. Sometimes, you can get writers who squeeze out musings on war and a full character arc in less than two thousand words without it feeling rushed. Here, there’s virtually nothing that hasn’t already been covered in some way.

I know I said this before, but I’ll say it again. Chapters should have some element of change in them. There needs to be something different between the beginning and ending of the chapter. This is a clear example of self-indulgence; it could probably be categorized as “character development”, but “character development” is all it is. It’s like the backstory chapters; it offers nothing else besides its central purpose. This is a book unable to do multiple things at once.

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Comments ( 3 )

It's like the rice cake of narrative progression. It exists, but there's so little to it that you have to wonder why.

He rolls up the sleeve of his sweater to reveal that his arm is covered in vampire bite marks.

Do you mean to tell me he was *gasp* BITTEN?! You know, like literally every other vampire?

So, Stephanie Meyers released a new book. It's called Life and Death, it's basically Twilight genderswapped

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