• Member Since 30th Nov, 2015
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Rambling Writer

Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams

More Blog Posts141

  • 6 days
    Equestrian Road Rage

    Yesterday, I saw this video, and if Equestria ever gets cars, this is pretty much exactly what pony road rage would look like.

    And then I thought: what would current Equestrian road rage look like if it was actually rage-y?

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    4 comments · 97 views
  • 20 weeks
    The Automaticity of Magic

    In some ways, I love fantasy because of the easy outs it provides. In other ways, I loathe fantasy because of the easy outs it provides.

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    18 comments · 267 views
  • 61 weeks
    FimFiction Feghoot Festival Future Finalities

    Hello, friends! If you're still planning on writing feghoots for the the First Fimfiction Feghoot Contest, get cracking! The submission deadline is this Friday, July 19th at 11:59:59 pm, Pacific Time. If you beseech Super Trampoline for a short extension via PM, he might give you one, but don't push it. Get those stories in; we're almost

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    3 comments · 143 views
  • 64 weeks
    Looking at the pilot through season 9 eyes

    We’re halfway through the final season already. With the finale so close and almost a decade of pony, I figured I’d take a look at the premiere again. How does it hold up? What looks weird eight seasons later? What sorts of early-series quirks got ironed out later on?

    I stink at introductions, so here we go.

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    15 comments · 431 views
  • 66 weeks
    Feghoot Contest

    Do you like long, drawn-out puns? Do you like subjecting people to those puns? Do you like subjecting me to those puns? Do you like me scrutinizing those puns with a critical eye? Do you like lots of FimFic-famous authors scrutinizing those puns with a critical eye? Do you like possibly winning $100 for doing so and having your pun subjected to hundreds of other people in the process? How

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    5 comments · 184 views

In Which I Tolerate Eclipse: Chapter 9 -- Target · 3:22pm May 10th, 2018

When Alice drops Bella off the next morning, she’s got a message waiting for her from Jacob, saying he’s sorry. Bella, however, isn’t feeling very forgiving at the moment and heads upstairs. In her room, she decides to do put the dirty laundry in the hamper, but she can’t find her pillow for the pillowcase. She starts examining her room more closely and realizes some other things are missing: a pair of socks and a red blouse. When she looks in the hamper, a lot of her laundry is missing from there as well. She asks Charlie, but he hasn’t done the laundry while she’s been gone. She guesses Alice, with her prettiness compulsion, cleaned things up when getting her hostage slumber party clothes.

Just then, Edward shows up at her door. He says a vampire’s been in Bella’s house. Not Victoria; he doesn’t recognize the scent. Probably one of the Volturi. Based on the scent, it was early that morning, and since they didn’t touch Charlie, there’s only one other reason they were there.

I felt green. A vampire had been in the house looking for me while Charlie slept. Panic overwhelmed me, closed my throat. I couldn’t answer, I just stared at him in horror.

…A vampire’s in the house looking for you while Charlie sleeps all the time. His name is Edward.

Edward quickly takes Bella away to talk with the rest of the Cullens. Alice says that, with all the things she’s watching — the Volturi, Victoria, Bella — it’s natural that some visions would slip past her. They start debating who it could be: not Victoria, and while Alice hasn’t seen any official commands from the Volturi, that doesn’t discount one of their members acting independently.

Esme wonders if the visit wasn’t about Bella at all, but about the Cullens; their scent is all around her, so the visitor might’ve been curious as to what’s so special about Bella. Not all vampires are direct enough to ask, and the size of the Cullen coven could be a bit intimidating, compared to the usual size. Alice isn’t so sure; it feels too deliberate, like the visitor did everything they could to avoid making contact. The Cullens agree to be more careful and thorough in protecting Bella and Charlie.

Hey, uh, remember how Edward said the murders in Seattle are being caused by a vampire? The Cullens never consider that. They could send Edward and Jasper up there — Edward to find the vampire, Jasper to calm them down for a talk. Even if it turns out that vampire isn’t responsible, then that’s another possibility they don’t need to consider. But, no, this is Twilight’s Forks; sense and sensibility are left at the door.

Bella calls Jacob the next morning. He immediately apologizes for saying Bella was better off dead, and Bella forgives him. Jacob offers to take Bella somewhere to make it up, but Bella says she’s got a bit of a problem. Edward asks for the phone and he and Jacob have a civil conversation. When Bella gets the phone back, she learns that Edward and Jacob have settled on a truce: when Edward leaves for whatever reason, the safest place for Bella is on the Quileute reservation, surrounded by vampire-hunting werewolves. The treaty boundaries are also considered being rearranged so that the wolves can patrol around Bella’s house. Jacob says he’s coming up to get a scent of Bella’s hunter and hangs up. Wow, another zero-clinginess chapter.

Clinginess Meter: 15

Kinda funny how Edward breaking into Bella’s house in the first book is romantic, but a vampire breaking into Bella’s house now is terrifying. A bit of a short summary, but this was a plot-heavy chapter with very little terrible behavior. And, look, more setup! Wow, Twilight actually is learning.

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Comments ( 4 )

The key difference, of course, is that Bella knows that Edward is hot. This other vampire could have any level of attractiveness! They might have become a vampire at some ancient age, like thirty!

…A vampire’s in the house looking for you while Charlie sleeps all the time. His name is Edward.

Should there be a “lack-of-self-awareness-meter” going forward? For when Bella acts extra blind?

It'd explode in a few chapters. Bella's clinginess, while bad, is nothing compared to her lack of self-awareness. Of course, that assumes she has a self, and isn't just some lifeless blank slate being pulled along by the plot to wherever it wants her to go.

Let’s be fair. She did have a (very brief) moment of clarity when she realized that deliberately endangering herself so she could hear her hallucinatory boyfriend’s voice was a problem.

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