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Rambling Writer


Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams

More Blog Posts141

  • Tuesday
    Equestrian Road Rage

    Yesterday, I saw this video, and if Equestria ever gets cars, this is pretty much exactly what pony road rage would look like.

    And then I thought: what would current Equestrian road rage look like if it was actually rage-y?

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    4 comments · 91 views
  • 20 weeks
    The Automaticity of Magic

    In some ways, I love fantasy because of the easy outs it provides. In other ways, I loathe fantasy because of the easy outs it provides.

    Read More

    18 comments · 265 views
  • 61 weeks
    FimFiction Feghoot Festival Future Finalities

    Hello, friends! If you're still planning on writing feghoots for the the First Fimfiction Feghoot Contest, get cracking! The submission deadline is this Friday, July 19th at 11:59:59 pm, Pacific Time. If you beseech Super Trampoline for a short extension via PM, he might give you one, but don't push it. Get those stories in; we're almost

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    3 comments · 141 views
  • 64 weeks
    Looking at the pilot through season 9 eyes

    We’re halfway through the final season already. With the finale so close and almost a decade of pony, I figured I’d take a look at the premiere again. How does it hold up? What looks weird eight seasons later? What sorts of early-series quirks got ironed out later on?

    I stink at introductions, so here we go.


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    15 comments · 429 views
  • 66 weeks
    Feghoot Contest

    Do you like long, drawn-out puns? Do you like subjecting people to those puns? Do you like subjecting me to those puns? Do you like me scrutinizing those puns with a critical eye? Do you like lots of FimFic-famous authors scrutinizing those puns with a critical eye? Do you like possibly winning $100 for doing so and having your pun subjected to hundreds of other people in the process? How

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    5 comments · 184 views
May
8th
2018

In Which I Tolerate Eclipse: Chapter 8 -- Temper · 2:56pm May 8th, 2018

Bella and Jacob go for a walk on the beach. As they talk, it comes out that Quil just imprinted. Specifically, on Emily’s niece, Claire. Who’s two. Naturally, Bella’s horrified and a bit squicked out, but Jacob doesn’t think there’s anything creepy about it.

“But she’s a baby,” I protested.

He looked at me with dark amusement. “Quil’s not getting any older,” he reminded me, a bit of acid in his tone. “He’ll just have to be patient for a few decades.”

Settling in for a long-term jailbait wait, I see. Ew. Jacob tries to explain that while imprinting can be romantic, it doesn’t have to be (which is odd, considering the only other imprints we’ve seen are romantic). His description of it is… kinda creepy. No, wait, it’s really creepy.

“It’s not like love at first sight, not really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.”

Werewolves have non-consensual automatic brainwashing built in to their genes. The creepy factor just went through the roof. And then it goes even further:

“Doesn’t Claire get a choice here?”

“Of course. But why wouldn’t she choose him, in the end? He’ll be her perfect match. Like he was designed for her alone.”

So she has a choice, and yet she’ll always choose Quil. Not much of a choice, I say. And Jacob also claims he won’t imprint because he didn’t imprint on Bella. (eyeroll)

They ride motorcycles for a little while. At Jacob’s house, the conversation turns to Bella being turned. Jacob reveals that the “Cullens don’t harm humans” part of the treaty has no geographical limit; if the Cullens kill or turn someone anywhere, the treaty is null. Bella and Jacob start bickering about her becoming a vampire. Jacob’s shocked when he learns that she’s planning on turning shortly after graduation. Bella rebuffs him with age whining:

“He’s seventeen, Jacob. And I get closer to nineteen every day. Besides, what’s the point in waiting. He’s all I want. What else can I do?”

CM + 1

Jacob flat-out tells Bella she’d be better off dead than a vampire, which is a pretty shitty thing to say to your friend regardless of your feelings on the subject. Bella’s finally had enough and leaves, driving her motorcycle to the Cullens’. That night, Edward visits her while she’s sleeping.

I could almost taste the sweetness of reunion in the air, a separate fragrance from the perfume of his breath; the emptiness when we were apart left its own bitter aftertaste, something I didn’t consciously notice until it was removed.

CM + 1

They exchange bad lovey-dovey dialogue for three whole pages before getting to the matter of apologizing to each other for stepping out of line. Edward promises he won’t have Alice hold Bella hostage again (WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF RELATIONSHIP IS THIS THAT THAT NEEDS TO BE A PROMISE?!) and says he’ll do his best to get over his prejudice against werewolves; if Bella says it’s safe, he’ll trust her and believe that it’s safe. He doesn’t want to drive a wedge between them.

We could’ve ended there, on a nice relationship moment, but Bella drags it out. When Rosalie told her story yesterday, she offhanded mentioned Edward visiting a coven in Denali with several female vampires. Bella asks if Edward showed any interest towards them, or vice versa, but Edward says that only one of them was interested in him, he politely turned her down, and that was that. So we end on Bella’s insecurities. Super.

Clinginess Meter: 15

What happened to Victoria? I remember praising the first few chapters for setting that up, but she’s barely been mentioned since then. It’s all been weak love-triangle stuff. Get back to the murderous, vengeful vampire!

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Comments ( 3 )

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF RELATIONSHIP IS THIS THAT THAT NEEDS TO BE A PROMISE?!

The Meyer kind. Actually, I’m reminded of this weird Iron Man storyline from the comics in which one of his suits attains sentience and gets a creepy crush on him. It outright kills at least one person, possibly more, then kidnaps Tony to some remote tropical island after it sees him using a different armor suit. At least Stark had enough awareness to realize how messed up the whole thing was.

The more I learn about this universe, the more I'm convinced that Meyer has no idea how relationships work and is projecting that lack of ideas into the local magical rules. Seriously, maybe, just maybe the girl won't go for the weirdly unaging guy who's been hovering around her since she was a toddler.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

So much for Twilight werewolves being good. :B

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