Extremes: The Best of Times and the Worst of Times · 12:17pm May 1st, 2018
Blog Number 39: Manic-Depressive Edition
Well, it finally happened; I failed my own PerNoWriMo target of writing 60,000 words a month. That's five straight months of repeatedly meeting or surpassing 60,000 words: all over. I thought I'd nailed it. I thought I was going to cross the half-year mark and call it a good run.
Unfortunately, April tripped me up. And that wasn't the worst of it. Not by a long shot.
WARNING: There will be a surfeit of negativity in the second half. Normally, I wouldn't burden a fanfiction site with my problems, especially given my own preference for anonymity. But it's affecting my writing, the title up above is not underselling the contrast, and I wanted to make sense of the last month and possibly reach out to a person or two. If nothing else, I wanted to really convey that contrast.
Hoo boy, what a Spring this has been. My most productive and most encouraging month yet, followed by my least productive and least encouraging.
But let's start with the most heartening stuff. Looking back, I feel better writing this already.
In March, I frankly shocked myself by writing - I can't believe I'm typing this - over 95,000 words. I am serious; much as I've checked the numbers, that is definitely what it comes to. Over 35,000 words more than what I was expecting. Better yet, every story published that month was one I wrote that month too, and did not include any old projects I simply brushed up and sent out (like Dame Trixie or Eldritch Fun Times). Actual achievement! But for a few thousand, I might have made the prized 100,000-word mark!
And better yet, things were going tremendously well on multiple fronts. The novel was coming along marvellously, and so good was that month that I even got a significant distance into a second one. A second novel! Simultaneously as I was writing the first! That's frankly unheard of for me! 
Better better yet, I established contact (and had a pleasant tongue-wagging session) with a jolly good fellow, what? Which is still ongoing. 
As of this moment, I don't recall any problems with family or work, or at least none that were more sporadically irksome than usual. We were all getting along pretty well, I thought.
And I even overlooked my general apathy of the new My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic seasons to watch my first Season Seven episode: "The Perfect Pear". Lovely stuff! 
I mean, I even watched The Princess Bride again for the first time in goodness knows how long, and remembered precisely why I loved that movie. People quoting its best lines aren't giving you even an iota of what makes that movie so quirky and fun.
At the risk of overstating the positives (there were pains and problems that month, after all), March was a great model month for me. Much as I was never expecting to meet 95,000 words again, I had high, high hopes that this was the way to go. 
So what happens? April happens. 
April was a wretched month to get through. Either the writing suffered as a result, or I was overdue a crash, especially after March. But it didn't make it any less of a trial.
In April, I just missed out on writing 40,000 words. Over 20,000 words less than what I was expecting. Worse, two of those stories I published were old projects I simply brushed up and sent out. And one of them netted me my worst reception yet, somehow simultaneously coinciding with my last twenty stories all receiving downvotes too, including ones that would otherwise have been pure upvotes. I mean, I'm always open to constructive criticism, and usually I get it. This felt like the world had suddenly turned on me.
Fair's fair, I did get a PM explaining the problems, so if the sender is reading this, thanks and thank you a ton for the help. But until that happened, I felt like I'd stepped on a beehive and realized too late.
Unpleasant, maybe, but ultimately bearable, right? Sadly, not in context. It was not just the writing in particular; there were other things going on which were easily disrupting my month anyway. Unhappy family squabbles*, constant irritations at work, a home renovation I did not agree to but could do nothing about, and financial difficulties that limited my budget so badly that I considered it a triumph to get to eat out. All ongoing problems.
* This is tangential, but my family also have no idea about my interest in MLP:FiM. I'm sure as hell not telling them. They barely seem interested in the fact that I write, and that's my lifelong passion and something they know about. While this is unrelated to the nature of the disputes in question, it does add complications to our relationship that certainly didn't help matters here.
Not forgetting the dental surgery I was recommended that month, and which I may be in for later this month. I've had an operation like it before. Ohohoho, I am not looking forward to a repeat of those jolly fun-filled times. 
Oh, and I made a terrible, misguided error and, out of curiosity, tried an old zombie horror video game. Thus, I totally ruined my sleep for the following week. 
Nothing there is terrible in isolation. Heck, some of those are hardly new to me, and that zombie one was purely my own stupid fault. Get hit with all of them at once, however, and you'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise.
I don't usually go in for profanity, but the word captures the feeling exactly:
After April, I feel like shit.
Not a good way to start the month of May. I'm hoping for better over the next thirty-one days, and I'll manage, but... not a good way to start. 
That's all for now. Impossible Numbers, out.
Statistics
Never mind: I'll still call these statistics, even if that is an artefact title now. Ah well.
List of Reviews
I was reviewed no less than four times by PresentPerfect in April. Four times! That is frankly unheard of for me, though perhaps not for him? The reviews were generally positive, with two conditionally recommended ones, one outright recommended fic, and one surprise: a highly recommended fic! Nice!
- Fic recs, April 1st: Sunset Shipping edition! (Sunset in the Otherworld)
- Fic recs, April 10th: Read It Again edition! (Griffon a Load of Bull)
- Fic Recs, April 18th: New Character Tags, Lore edition! (Through the Eyes of the Hurricane)
- Fic recs, April 29th: New Character Tags, Individuals edition! (Floral Issues)
Fics Accepted By Equestria Daily
White Lightning and the Elite Pony was accepted, utterly to my surprise. As Winter Dies, So Spring is Born soon followed, in an even more surprising repeat of the previous month's double whammy. Whoa.
Have submitted Valuable Time, or Dolce Far Niente. After White Lightning and the Elite Pony caught me off-guard, I'm trying my luck with another fic I otherwise wouldn't have considered.
New Stories?: Three. Somnambula and the Demon of Dreams, Jailhouse Rock, and Guard Flutter. The last two are the old projects, in case you were wondering.
New Updates: Several for Lure of the Flower.
Story Count: 77.
13 in 2018.
26 in 2017.
16 in 2016.
2 in 2015.
0 in 2014.
8 in 2013.
9 in 2012.
3 in 2011.
My Total Story View Count: Rendered obsolete due to new site changes. I keep it here just in case they revive it.
Age: 2,331 days, or 333 weeks.
Working: 19 days in December 2011, 2x366 days for 2012 and 2016 leap years, 4x365 days for 2013 and 2014 and 2015 and 2017, and 120 days for 2018 so far combined.
My Follower Count: 186.
My Followed Count: 160.
If you'll pardon the pun, here's hoping you get back on the horse. One bad month need not guarantee another.
4851259
Quite right. If anything, I'm looking to March to see if I can replicate its best aspects. Plus, I'm hoping April may yet prove to be an anomaly. I sure hope so.
Hope you feel better and things start looking up!
By the way most authors would be envious of reaching 40,000 words in a month. Lord knows I’ve never come close!
4851403
Thank you very much!
The only comparison I intend to make is against myself. There's a sweet spot between overworking myself and not trying hard enough, which I aim to find and keep.
In any case, odds are I'll scale the target back for a while to see if it's less of a hassle to write for.
I wish the universe the very best in rearranging itself more to your liking this month! But seriously, that doesn't sound like much fun at all. I hope there's a lot less stress and a lot more fun for you from here on in.
I have no idea what it's like to write 60,000 words in a month, especially 60,000 good words, but it's always disheartening to fall short of a target you know you can reach.
"The Perfect Pear" isn't my outright favourite of S7, but it is some people's and even for me it's right up there. I'd say you chose pretty well.
4851601
Thank you for the encouragement.
Really, I'm hoping it's just an anomaly. I've had bad times before; doubtless, I'll have bad times again. Sadly, having a broader view doesn't make them any less of a grind when endured in the moment.
Speaking speculatively, I might write a blog post about some Season Seven episodes. That said, I'm very picky at the moment as to which episodes I watch, since I really can't muster much enthusiasm for the newest seasons, and from what I heard, "The Perfect Pear" sounded like a reliably positive episode. Spoilers: it WAS!
I thought it was charming, sweet, and tackled the Apple parents surprisingly well.
Next one I watch is probably going to be "Discordant Harmony"; the reviews indicate it has some fascinating Discord and Fluttershy moments, so how could I refuse?
4851614
I like "Discordant Harmony", but the reception to it, while overall positive, was certainly more mixed than that to "The Perfect Pear". I'll certainly look out for any thoughts you might publish about it (and any other S7 episodes), though.
That's an incredible writing streak, monthly goals notwithstanding. I don't mean to trivialize your problems or mood, of course; your April doesn't sound fun
. But that's in no way guarantees that May won't be an improvement, and the same goes for June. The great challenge isn't keeping a high-flying streak of success going, it's getting back up when life inevitably knocks you flat on your face. You can do it! 
4851858
(Although if the universe is listening, I want to make it clear that this is not a direct challenge.
)
Now I came here to check why you haven't released anything new lately and I will leave this blog entry with being jealous of such writing counts. My highest wordcount in a month so far was in the range of 30,000 - 45,000 words.
I need to step up my game.
4859812
Heh, you can relax; most of those words I produced can't actually be used, either because they're mere exercises to keep my hand in or because they need serious editing. Even if they were useful, productivity that uncompromising doesn't come cheap. Heck, the first time I tried it, I almost lost my sanity in the process. Believe me, I wouldn't so easily recommend shooting so high (except maybe as a one-off challenge).
At the moment, I'm scaling back to something far more manageable. Unfortunately, that does mean slowing down in the publishing department, (though hopefully not for long). And of course, there's always more to life, after all.
4859834
Well, as long what is more to life doesn't make you stop writing ponyfics..... I think you are the only real background pony writer we have left.