My little Deep Thoughts: My story

Hey every brony, this is your friendly cowmare Crimson Rose. Last night I posted a new fic A week on a cruise.So far, a lot of you liked it. And want more and more to see where this goes. So am I.

Then there are others who don't like it for obvious reasons. This is a segment of My little Deep Thoughts.

Okay, let's face it, there is no way I can please everyone here. It's impossible to do so. But I can point out the flaws in this first chapter. Yes I'm critiquing my own shit.

One:

Now, this one is a big one, Rarity. Rarity is one of my favorite characters on the show itself. On my top five. In the fic I did make her cold and bitchy and a bit speciist. Not my intent but it happened. I'm not going to demonize her. Without giving much spoilers, Rarity did have one bad, and I mean bad, encounter with a human and it left a foul taste in her mouth. I am going to make her be passive-aggressive towards them but the reason why she acted that way in the first chapter: Starlight failed to mention the humans on the cruise this to the girls and if she would've told them ahead, Rarity would've been prepared and might've acted differently if wasn't taken by surprise. She got covered in paint, her designer formal dress splattered in wine. She wasn't in the mood and Spike decided to pop the question. Yes she was being bitchy about it, but seriously, how would ya'll reacted if you get wine tossed at you.

Two:

Spike was overreacting when Rarity told him no. He thought as the years went by Rarity might fell for him. Yes he needs to grow up and he will. The two will be friends but for right now, his heart was crushed. Rarity could've told him no in a less bitchy way but like I stated before, she wasn't in a good mood.

Three:

The humans in Equestria. A commenter by the name Dragonpony stated this

Humans are SUPER shitty animals. And honestly how would her kind react when they see how we have treated their kind over the hundreds of years. It isn't shocking they wouldn't like us very much. I mean what could we do to explain how we treated their kind on our world. And lets be honest here if Humans did find a world like their, how quickly would shit go VERY bad. We would end up going to war with the creatures of their world for sure, and with Magic they would put us down quickly or we would try to nuke them or something fucked up.

It's true of what he said. The way I set it up in my alt. Universe, the posibility of war breaking out. I mean come on, we do use horses for farm work, riding them around on their backs, if they get old or tiresdsoe we make glue out of them. (Which now means I have to rid all of my glue sticks I have and use sirup to stick paper together)

I'm going to endulged this more in a possible sequel if this series does good.

Lastly Four:

though I'm using Google Docs to help with spell check and such, I tend to type very fast, and when I type fast, my computer system couldn't catch up and so it leave a lot of typos, misspells, repeats of a single letter, gaps between sentences. i'll download an app that can edit and help me out. I dream of becoming a writer and I use fimfic and fanfic sites to practice on when I do ended up publishing a book.

I know I'll need a lot, a lot of work on this subject but i'm learning. So if you all, please bare with me for a moment.

I won't be able to please every one of ya'll and that's okay. I'm going to keep at it. Stay tune.

Pics used above

Rarity - derpi website

Spike - Deviantart - not mine

Humans - My little Pony Wiki

Grammar - Midnight Heights Academy gallery