OMG Novels are Hard · 12:28pm Apr 4th, 2018
Why hello darlings! Yes everything is fine why do you ask?
I've written words on both my novel ideas, and I've edited a little of my original novel. And.
Oh.
My.
Harmony.
Novels are fucking hard.
Short stories and novellas so efficient! Set a character's goals and move them forward. Pummel them with obstacles until their eyeballs bleed. They persist because they are a plucky type, quasi-happy ending, yay!
Novels. Well. Let me tell you.
Crystal Balls:
La la la Tempest and Shining Armor are the first couple to demonstrate the effects of the sex pollen la la la this is hot... Wait.
What do you mean you want to be choked, Tempest?
Tempest, no, all of my porn is extrapolated from my shockingly limited sexual experience and I've never done anything remotely like that, why are you...
No, Shinny! Don't agree to that! It's super dangerous!
Fine, fine, I'll just skip to the teenage Flurry Heart taking control of the palace because as a teenager she's used to functioning while insanely horny all the time, and...
No. I left a scene unfinished. I have to go back.
Yak War:
Well, that was a great, intimate diplomacy scene between Pinkie and Rutherford, and I even managed some romantic subtext slightly more subtle than whacking the reader over the head with a morning star. What's next on the agenda?
Oh. Two separate huge battles that mark the first/second act transition. Sound of Horatio's brain bursting into flames from going directly from second gear to fifth.
Original Novel:
Yes Mr Skull, I know we've read this twice written it three times.
But there's a whole plot thread missing. I know you want to just jam the whole thing through grammarly like a ham hock through a sausage grinder and send it to the beta readers, but we can't send a story off to beta readers with a plot thread missing. They'll say 'Pinkie, you really need to develop this element of the story more' and we'll have to say, 'yeah, I knew that', and the beta readers will say, 'then why did you send this to us if you knew there was a plot thread missing!?'
Anyway.
All right.
Lets write some novels, I guess. 
Writing is not easy.
4832627
Nope.
Super fun tho!
Sometimes in a masochistic way, however.
"I'm a failed poet. Maybe every novelist wants to write poetry first, finds he can't and then tries the short story which is the most demanding form after poetry. And failing that, only then does he take up novel writing." - William Faulkner
I mean, Faulkner won the Nobel for his novels and not his short stories, but I think there's some truth here.
4832695
That makes sense, and it might be a good idea just to embrace my love of short stuff, since its not something everyone has.
Still. Novels just seem so... fabulous?
And maybe I'll be super good at them if I can ever... somehow... finish one?
I've never, ever wanted to be a poet, though. I can't even evaluate them. I'm just like. "Well. Those were some words." Sometimes I enjoy them, but I never understand them.
4832715
It's tempting to realize that one (or three) big story you have in mind. The epic. The big cast of characters. The twisting and intertwining plot lines you couldn't fit in a short story or novella.
But writing's haaaaaaaaaaaard.
4832729
Oh I just rememberd I have a contest submission due on the 22nd. Discussion suddenly academic. D: