A day late, a bit short · 10:22am Mar 29th, 2018
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I mean, it's not like I'm lazy, right?
I say that in jest, but I am a lazy bastard in all honesty. I try to stay as laid back as possible to not let the world bog me down, and that does end up becoming apathy and a case of "bone idleness". When I do kick into high gear, things move fast. I can put my nose to the grindstone when needed, but it's not something that I consider very important most of the time. Why should I give 100% when 20% will do?
Maybe that's a poor out look on life, and I'm sure there are many who disagree. Ultimately, there are things that I think should have significant effort put into them, while others can fall to wayside. For me, I put a lot of work into my job. I adore what I do for a living, being a teacher has been a life long goal. I have my shit days, everyone does, but I think I put a good level of energy into what I do - push myself, and my students, harder to make English interesting.
Conversely, I don't consider myself to be as sociable as many other people I know. I have a lot of things going on in a given week, but very few of them are dedicated to seeing someone for social reasons. Hell, this week alone I had three things that were work related going on in my spare time, two of which I volunteered for. Weirdly enough, I'm still considered to be one of the most sociable people in the small community I'm part of. Any time there's something big going on, I'm one of the first people invited. I don't mean for that to come across as bragging, it confuses the balls out of me. I'm supposed to be the nerd, I was the kid that was picked on for being a "tag-along" for years, I cut off ties to so many people during my down phases that I'm still picking up the pieces nearly three years on.
"But KendallKun," I imagine you cry. "What the fuck does this have to do with hurse scribbles?"
It's about what I have on my plate. As some may have noticed, someone made a good comment on Waking the Dead about pacing myself better. One chapter a month makes a lot of sense, it gives me a month to fine tune it and make the changes I need to. Hell, chapter seven has already seen several re-edits during my writing of eight. I've written around 2000 words, then got rid of them the next week. Something I'd never allow myself to do during my time at uni, admittedly. Would explain the 2:1.
It also gave me time to re-examine my stance on fic writing in general. On one side, I rather dislike writing stories about the show. I love the world, but I want to write about characters I know inside and out. I am terrified of mis-writing a character from the show - it's what I'll be judged on the most. Can I write a convincing Fluttershy? How good is my Twilight? Some of the best fics I've read here have these characters but make them their own, and I don't think I have the skill to do that. See Gumdrop for instance - the fic is undoubtly Gum's story, but I can write appearances no trouble. I love writing Pinkie, but I couldn't do a Pinkie fic.
Maybe it'll change, maybe not. Guess you can't know without practice.
Eyes peeled, I'm most of the way through the next Gumdrop. Should be ready soonish... touch wood
