DuckKing reviews MLP Part 1: It's time to ri-ri-ri-riff!

Okay, just heads up what this is: Just a little bit of riffing towards a certain someones current review of MLP. Lets get it out, shall we?

SCHOOL DAZE

LIFE POINTS: 8000

He really is going for the entire lifepoints stick to review it? You know, I find it always fascinating how people with the DuckKings condition so to speak, combine something already silly with something even sillier like this.

A school for friendship huh? Much as that would be a good idea, I don't like the way the ponies preach about friendship and act like it can save you from all troubles. The show itself already warps people into being too overconfident and put too much faith in friendship as it is without thought of potential darkness or despair or unpleasantness.

(-500)

I never get what he means with the “darkness and despair” thing. Is he trying to say that people can end up with the wrong crowd of people as friends? True, the show could actually address something about trying to separate a good friend from a bad one in a more significant way than Gilda’s debut episode did, but what does he expect from “My little Pony”? That it will become Neon Genesis Evangelion in how it fucks the main characters emotionally over for the sake of a barely developing story? Additionally, why do I get the feeling he really means that a school teaching basic human interaction to teach you how to be a good friend is necessary. Personally, I think something of that sort would be cringe worthy at best. Like when Twilight imagined Starlight teaching the changelings about sharing and caring.

Heck, personally I think of Twilight’s “School of Friendship” more as a boarding school for others to learn more about equestrian culture and in doing so hopefully inspire “foreign” students in particular to develop a more open mind towards others, therefore planting a seed from which friendship can grow. Something the “student six” as the new characters for the season are called by some, actually achieved less by studying and just hanging around. Or in other words: boarding shcool with additional trust excercises to perform.

LIFE POINTS: 8000 ---> 7500

Twilight being head of the school... somebody gag me!

I would. But assisted suicide is still illegal.

That little TWAT is the main reason I scoff at the friendship in the show. I wouldn't want her teaching me (Since I believer her to be too narrow minded)

It is just that she is the princess of friendship and has spread the virtues of it to others quite well. Additionally Twilight is highly knowledgeable on equestrian culture and well organized, to keep an institution of that kind in check and work as a teacher. Heck, you have any alternate suggestions, DuckKing? Certainly not your Starfleet characters, seeing how Lightning does not even know basic magic to teach and has shown no knowledge on anything specific at all.

(-1000)

LIFE POINTS: 7000 ---> 6500

And certainly you would not be qualified as a math teacher too, DuckKing.

And the friends teaching as well...?! UGH!! I need another barf bag

(-200)

I would see a doctor if the sight of pastel colored ponies causes this kind of reaction all the time. Also, why would her friends be unqualified as teachers? All five are very knowledgeable at least in some field of work. Rarity knows about dress making and certainly basic finances, seeing how she can manage her own boutiques. Applejack has knowledge about agriculture, Fluttershy about biology, Pinkie would be a great cooking teacher and Rainbow Dash may not be the greatest Wonderbolt, but her as a flight or sports teacher would still be awesome for the kids. In addition, I like to think that by the time the friendship school has qualified itself well enough, there may be other teachers hired too in the future. Teachers perhaps teaching about other cultures or other subjects. I would totally pay fees for a class regarding herbs, taught by none other than Zecora.

LIFE POINTS: 6500 ---> 6300

SILVER STREAM...!!! That's all I need, another bubbly nutcase, nuttier than Pinkie Pie!

(-200)

LIFE POINTS: 6300 ---> 6100

The DuckKing really hates characters who are just optimistic and happy, doesn’t he? Personally, I like her, just like the rest of the Student Six. Or The SS, as I like to- okay, perhaps we should not use that shortening of the name.

Bottom line, I like the Student Six and Silver Stream. She is peppy, optimistic, has a cool design… I also like the implication that she is so excited about the world as such, because she has grown up mostly isolated from the outside world thanks to Seaquestria’s nature and her race abandoning the surface because of Stormking. She just wants to be up where they walk and run and stay all day in the sun. She just wishes to be part of your world.

But no. The DuckKing wants her to be miserable. Cause people who actually try to be hopeful even in times of despair is something never happening in reality. Dear lord, imagine when this guy ever reads the diary of Anne Frank.

Twilight's being a foolish TWAT again (Just as I like to portray her as) doing everything by the book and taking it way too seriously... for FRIENDSHIP?! HAHAHAHAHA!! (Still can't give LP back)

Why not? If Starfleet acts by the book, it means they are invading other planets where they think evil people exist and attack those evil people for not having commited any crime yet, just because of suspicion. They erase entire cultures from the universe, while acting by the book. In fact, wasn’t one of the big things in Starfleet season 2, that it is better to follow the orders/the book blindly? Even if your gut tells you it is stupid? Hypocrisy, your name is Duck. Also, Twilgiht was trying to be according to the book to follow standard lines. Cause if she didn’t, her school would be closed. A school she opened up not just for “friendship” but to improve the relationships with other races on the planet. You know, cultural exchange. Something that is foreign to Unicornicopians.

Applejack: "every pony... I mean... EVERY ONE!!"

FINALLY... After all these years they're starting to get it RIGHT!! (I approve of that wholehearted, but I can't give and LP back)

Hmm... another thing I approve of is what Fluttershy says by "even if those Guidelines aren't working...?" I like that... it means I can just stick to my own rules when I make my own fics and ignore people's advice (Especially when I don't like it or approve)

The funny thing is, how this can also easily work against the Duck. Sure, he doesn’t have to work according to certain guidelines as of how a story should be written. But in turn he has enslaved himself to his own set of guidelines that even if they are for his own preferences, just bind him so much he loses his shit at the slightest pace of change. Like he writes a chapter that is a couple of words too long? He spends more time deleting it than just trying to accept it and see if the extra words somehow help flesh the story out. In turn if he approves of people not following the guidelines, that means we do also not have to accept his guidelines and shove them up his plot.

Lastly, it is just the Duck missing the point here. The reason the guidelines were better to be ignored, was because they obviously did not work for the method of teaching Twilight’s friends were attempting to get the point about friendship across. So in a bizarre way, Duck is actually defending what Applejack and the others wanted to do. Soemthing he was against as he barfed into a bag. So what is it DuckKing? Are you supporting the rules of Neighsay or not? It is only one way or another!

As for Naysayer... I can't decide whether I like him or not, he's got some of my OWN preferences and traits, but even I know some limits, but I do approve of him pushing Twilight around and locking the school.

(No damage)

I assume that one thing DuckKing liked about Neighsay was the fact he was an elitist snob who looked down on other races for being inferior. I mean, it would fit perfectly. When was there ever a Unicornicopian trying to befriend any of the not pony races of the universe? Even the “allies” of the Unicornicopians are made fun of or simply used as cheap slave workers (fairies as teleporters anyone?) Well that and he closed the school, which caused misery to someone he hates. Cause lets face it: DuckKing is okay with even the most malicious humans, as long as they cause suffering to someone he does not approve of. He would love Donald Trump if the later suddenly send all Takari fans into the camps. He would even be okay with child rapists, as long as they only rape the children of people he thinks deserve his wrath for insulting his fanfics.

On a more positive note though, I liked Neighsay. The design was okay for the kind of character he was meant to represent (snobbish, stuck up bureaucrat with some elitism mixed in it), Maurice LaMarche did an awesome job voicing him and I think he was okay as the sort of obstacle/villain meant for the story needed. Someone who would oppose Twilight’s method of teaching because it was not according to the “standardized” guidelines. And look, I am not saying guidelines are something bad. Heck, up to a certain degree I considered him justified in closing the school. Cause Twilight losing students and the sort of chaos some of them caused? Doesn’t look good on first glance. And Twilight’s school should follow cerain structural norms, to guarantee that her school isn’t just a summer camp for friendship with roomservice and that others can learn something there to an extend similar in other schools. Where he entered a villainous territory was when he showed his stubbornness to new “ideas and methods” of teaching. Methods that wouldn’t even have abandoned the guidelines as such, just adjusted them to a new subject to learn, that was previously not covered by the old method and rules. Then there is of course his prejudice towards the other species, which he used as part of his reasoning to close the school, rather than the seemingly disorganized nature of it. Neighsay would be received up to some degree more positively, if it was not a racist and open to certain changes if they end in positive results. Which he doesn’t. He opposes the slightest forms of change from the norm, is blind to anything positive that may come off it and he is a bigot who tries to justify his bigotry by pretending he genuinely has someone elses well being in mind.

… hm. Perhaps he and the duck have more in common than I thought.

PART 2

LIFE POINTS: 6100

Now that's what I like to see, Twilight in despair, and finally realizing what a fool she's made of herself! She finally may be realizing that friendship isn't that simple

(No damage)

This is a guy who will one day spend his time in hospitals and laugh at any parent that just got informed that they lost their daughter, isn’t he?

UGH!!! Operation cheer up?! At a time like this, the absolute worse thing you can do is try to cheer someone up. You gotta give them some time to themselves, you can't expect them to just get up and smile. Make me sick, why don't ya... (At least Twilight acknowledged it)

Still...

(-500)

Cause god forbid friends try to help another friend out of such a state. Also, we were not told how much time had passed between part one and two. It could be that she was already in her room for a couple of days. Also, I would not cry about how it is bad to try and cheer someone up, when you are the person who tried to cheer up Tara Strong less than four hours after her dad died.

LIFE POINTS: 6100 ---> 5600

Hmmm... Starlight's preaching about giving up too soon is right in some ways, but it's also not ALWAYS going to help in ALL situations. I'm not saying you should ALWAYS give up, but sometimes... when a situation is too hopeless, it's better to spare yourself the pain and try to find happiness in something that doesn't give it.

(-200) since it's both good and bad

LIFE POINTS: 5600 ---> 5400

This is a person who genuinely took for granted one of the most awful things Homer Simpson ever said: “Never try”. Also, first he wants to see twilight fail, then he tells her not to just roll over. Make up your mind.

MMM... Slapping the book out of Twilight's hoof and telling her not to let others push her around... I approve.

(No damage)

So that means if Twilgiht told Grand Ruler he is a twat and nazi who emotionally manipulated everyone he knows, she has the right to do so. Great. The Duck will approve of the grand equestrian revolution that is going to happen, in which Lightning is going to be hanged.

Celestia: "Every Creature!"

Ugh! Is it so hard to just say "Everyone!"

(-200)

LIFE POINTS: 5400 ---> 5200

It is just a quirk.

UGH!! Twilight having strength to break other spells again, I do not like...

(-1000)

LIFE POINTS: 5200 ---> 4200

Yeah, shocker. One of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria breaking a sealing spell.

What about the student six and their adventure? No complains about how Starfleet would have handled the critters attacking them easily? No complaining about how you hate kid characters and want to see them all die, because they are not superior space ponies?

FINAL SCORE: 4200

Half and Half...
Not good, but not too too bad either.

Frankly, I am surprised he did not start to bleed out of his ears when he heard the songs of the episode.

So, that was the Duck Dynasty Kings review of "School Daze". What do I think of his review style?
It is pretty much all over the place and he does a terrible job really getting into what the episodes are about. As such there is no informative value to gather. It is just one person with no understanding how to do any form of review whinning that something is not the way he likes. And what he likes seem to be racists who want to prevent any form of reformation from which others could profit.

Comments

[tomhur]

Honestly. This was better than he riff I did. Good job

And how did I forget to point out the hypocrisy of Mykan complaining that twilight is following rules... when one of the most infamous scenes in Starfleet is twilight getting punished for not following orders.

It really feels like mykan just goes along with whatever insults a character he hates not considering the hypocrisy.