A question for you all: The Middle Place · 10:10pm Mar 10th, 2018
So I just finished the first season of this exceptional show called "The Good Place." It's absolutely hilarious and creative and well worth the watch. I love Ted Danson in the things I've seen him in (such as the second season of the amazing show Fargo, and he worked well enough in Saving Private Ryan) and here is no exception. He's the best part of the show. Well, him and Janet. Basically, the show is... kind of like a mix between Arrested Development and Pushing Daisies. Kind of. It's really good. You should see it. The first season is on Netflix and it honestly has one of my favorite twists in a TV show.
At any rate, one of the episodes has the characters going to something called The Middle Place, where things are neither really great or really bad for the person who lives there. She has everything she wants, but with a bad twist. So, for example, she has her favorite kind of beer, but it's all room temperature.
With all that to say, I thought it would make a fun little thought exercise. Give me what you would put in "The Middle Place."
So here are some of my thoughts:
All of the movies you want to watch, but the discs are all scratched up and glitch all of the time.
Copies of any TV show you want, but only the first five episodes of each season.
Any video game you want, but not all of the buttons on the controllers work all of the time.
Any books you'd want to read, but there are random chapters missing.
Really difficult puzzles with only 95% of the pieces.
So there you go. What would you put in the Middle Place?
You could also put in a traditional cute pony pic of a Philly Photo Phinish
-A complete chess set of extremely well crafted pieces but, no one to play with. (You're on your own there after all.) If there is ever an exception -then random pieces go missing from both sides of the board.
-A computer with a set of video games that you can only get to work once a week at randomized intervals so you can't plan them.
-A fantasy series with every even numbered book taken out.
-Pictures of my family with crayon markings all over them.
-A dvd case filled with music that I never especially want to hear but also don't really hate. That music that you listen to to pass the time.
-and finally My top ten movies with fifteen minutes cut out during each viewing. Note it's a different fifteen minute segment every time for extra annoyance.
Right. Here we go:
Any car you want, but there's no fuel.
Any house you desire, but the windows are either broken or won't open.
All the shoes you want, but without shoelaces (or equivalent).
You can meet up with anyone, but as soon as there's at least a group of three, one of them is the Horribly Slow Murderer, Jerry, or an equally obnoxious and unpleasant character.
There's a frog in the toilet, it won't go away and it's watching you. However, the toilet is always clean.
You have a personal maid to do your housekeeping. It's Discord.
There's a really busy airport about twenty miles from your home. At least there's no rent, and water and electricity are free.
You get any food you want in any amount, but you can only change what you get once a week.
You have immeasurable amounts of money. There are no shops.
An adorable pet animal that adores you totally and has a bad case of diarrhoea.
Half the week is weekend, and every other day is a monday.
You can have all the fancy clothing you could ever want, but they're either dirty, filthy or on fire.
There is a library of infinite knowledge, but you can't access the books yourself. You have to ask the librarian, who operates on Insane Troll Logic.
And, finally, the classic: You don't die.
Having OCD as bad as I do, if I went to your idea of the middle place, I'd be begging for full-on hell inside of a week.
An eager romantic companion, but they have a wind chime where their genitals should be.
4814090
Mine's not that easy to live with either, so yeah, I might have similar ideas.
A magic storage room where you can put a limitless amount of stuff and always retrieve it without the possibility of losing it, but taking something out of the room always takes half an hour of rummaging through the stuff you don't need.
You can eat whatever you want and never gain weight, but you're always a bit overweight no matter what you do.
You have the magical power to talk to animals, but they constantly demean you.
Your clothes never wear out or tear, but they're always slightly uncomfortable and itchy.
All of your meals are prepared by film/TV caterers. Sometimes they pull out all the stops to make something decent, and other times they’ll decide to stop trying and just give you a piece of bland dry chicken. Regardless, the food is never warm enough
Nothing is ever quite the right temperature. Drinks are room temperature, bath is too cold, you are either hot or cold, but never to the extent that it would be worth it to change.