Not dead yet · 6:33am Mar 8th, 2018
Which, I guess given what I told you all in my last blog post, is rather more important to tell people than it used to be. :-)
I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, but, bad news youse guys, I haven't written any fanfic either, because I'm working on this damn book that is VERY VERY OVERDUE. Mostly because Microsoft's shit is broken, yo. I just spent three weeks stuck on how can I show people how to administer a thing that when I log into it, it doesn't work? Turns out it's because it only works at all if you have a very expensive product aimed at giant businesses. We are a tiny consulting company and do not have that product. So I just declared the thing out of scope for the book (the product in question isn't even part of Office 365, so Office 365 Administration shouldn't have anything to do with it in theory), and now I'm moving forward again, yay!
On the cancer front, I have been feeling like shit, but man, you should see the other guy. Maybe it's wishful thinking but I could swear that Cancer Boob has visibly gotten smaller. Since at this point half the breast is actually tumor, this is exactly the result I would expect if we were successfully killinating the rebel scum. Which is why it might be wishful thinking, but I'm not gonna find out for certain for a while. I can ask tomorrow if this is actually a thing chemo could theoretically even do.
Still got my hair. Still eating things -- at the last chemo cycle (I've had one so far), I spent the day after chemo feeling a little queasy, next two days sick as shit and barely able to eat toast, and then the rest of the days my bigger issues have been not getting disease-sick, and controlling my sugar (the chemo meds play holy hell with my sugar, to the point where they actually gave me an insulin pen.) My white blood cell count is apparently ridiculously low so I have to run and hide from sick people, which is not really consistent with being a mom unfortunately.
Funny thing is, overall my mood's been a lot better than it had been prior to the cancer diagnosis. Like, depression is this general malaise, everything is shit, what's the point, but there's nothing concrete. There's nothing to fight. Apparently, giving me something to fight wakes up my fighting instincts, so I am gonna pummel this motherfucker until it is dead and I am not. I deeply regret not having more time for writing fic -- quite aside from fanfic, I have not stopped having original fic ideas and I really wanna get on some of them -- but between the book, feeling like shit physically, and business actually doing very well and me being busy, I haven't had time. Wait till I'm done with this book, then I feel like I'm gonna make some serious progress and Write All The Things.
I went to Katsucon and I saw these stupid t-shirts with pictures of stylized boobs and the word OPPAI (Japanese for boobs) on them, so now I want to make a shirt that has one stylized boob and a straight line and the word POST-OPP (two p's because oppai, you see) underneath, because I'm dark like that and I like mocking the shit out of this whole thing. In reality, the plan is to make a fake boob once they cut off Cancer Boob, which I kinda wish I didn't have to do because man, I could be a fucking real-life Amazon, but on the other hand, none of my clothes would fit right and I'd have to wear a bra ALL THE TIME so I could stick a prosthetic in it, and nuh-uh. I hate bras, they kill my back.
(For those who are unaware, the mythological Amazons were called that because supposedly they cut off one breast to enable them to draw a bow better, because Greeks were so sexist they couldn't imagine how anyone could draw a bow with a breast in the way. Wonder Woman and her people have both boobs because one-breasted characters is not how comic books roll.)
As far as fic goes, currently the plan is Stumble in My Footsteps and then I probably need to do another round of Elements of Opposition and Not the Hero before going on to any of the less-updated stuff. But there might actually be more Last Draconequus sooner rather than later because my poor baby is stuck in a cage being tormented and I really wanna get him out of there.
Not gonna lie, I like the shirt idea, maybe because it is a little bit messed up. Let's all be messed up together!
Office 365 is very particular about what is and isn't a part of it (as you have seen), so one consultant to another, I think you're safe declaring that out of scope for the book.
Back on the cancer front, I know they've been rolling out some new (meaning modified) treatment techniques that are less harsh on the body (GreyGuardPony's been receiving chemo for her liver and throat, which is the only reason I know any of this). You know, for what that might be worth, because when your baseline is feeling like a TV dinner that's been in the microwave too long, I think just about anything is "less harsh."
Glad you’re alive!
Good to hear you have both the drive to fight and a good enough attitude to be funny about the cancer. Best of luck with both the chemo and the book. We'll be here when you have the time.
Good luck with putting down that pitiful rebellion. All has transpired according to your design!
Being not dead is important. :B
Being an Amazon is also important.
I also support the shirt idea. :3
Good luck fighting cancer, Alara.
You have a whole group here cheering you on! You got this! And we have your back for the blogs that you need to vent on!
I have to say, I admire how well you're handling all this. I mentioned before, I've known a few people who had cancer. The general trend I observed was that the ones who kept positive were the ones who lasted the longest, and your attitude seems very positive so far. Keep fighting, because it sounds to me like you're winning.
That's great that you're having such a good attitude about all of this that you're even making jokes about it (however dark). Hope everything goes well with the surgery!
I wish you luck battling this persistent and terrible foe. But enough about Office 365!
Seriously though, it's great that you have this positive fighting attitude towards cancer. My mom went through it last year and she worked really hard to stay positive, and even aggressive, I think it helped her.
obligatory monty python reference
So... Bit of advice that may be a bit dark...
When I thought I was going to die, I made files of all the projects I was working on, complete with notes on how to finish them, and put them in places where others could find them. I think it helped with that regret-stress feeling that I'd never finish things I started. If that's something you're going through, consider it an option.