My grandfather’s dying · 3:14am Mar 8th, 2018
He’s currently on hospice, and is expected to pass in the next few days. I’ve never really dealt with something like this before. My grandmother (his wife) had broken her back a while ago, but I never really realized the full gravity of the situation. She’s okay now. But I don’t have hope anymore. He’s been battling cancer, and unfortuntely, he’s losing. I have my first high school musical performance tomorrow, and we’ve been working so hard. He was going to come. And I just wish that he could see that, you know? Even though it’s impossible, it would be a good thing to see before he dies. (It’s All Shook Up, if any of you were curious.) I’m also worried about my grandmother. She’s so kind and soft. I don’t want that for her.
I’m not sure would I hope to get from posting this. Have any of you lost a loved one? How did you deal? Any advice?
Thank you 
Harmony. I cannot say how horrible that must be right now.
But I know there is a way you can cope. Talk to your friends, family, anyone. I know the people around you are more than willing to help you in your time of grief. The death of a loved one is always painful, and while there are many ways people cope with the situation, I do know it can help if you have a loved one with you. They'll be there to help you with the pain, and they always have your back no matter what.
Oh, Gods Harmony...
Honestly, my advice, talk to anyone. Friends, family, doesn't matter who. You're not alone in this time, there are always people who'll be there for you. They will always, always have your back. It's painful, believe me, I know. God, I know, but you'll get through it.
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Thank you. I will.
I've lost both my maternal grandfather and step-grandmother. Its not easy, but the way I do it is I think about the good times, I remember them for that instead of focusing on the sadness... just be there for him and your grandmother as best you can and never forget the good times. I, just wish I could say more.
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Thank you. I’m sorry you had to go through that. He’s actually my step-grandfather, too.
*Hugs tightly* Im sorry to hear this. The only advice I can give you is just like the people below, talk to friends, family, and anybody you consider reliable. Its really hard but you will get through it! I hope the best for you!
Get the musical recorded, take it to him and play it for him. Don't know if he is awake or not even if not tell him what your are doing and then do it. On some level he will know and in later years it may help you .
My sympathy to you and the rest of the family.
Bronzedragon
4812253 You're welcome, and thank you. Also take Bronzedragon's suggestion, that's a good one.
I am so sorry for this future loss! I lost my Grandfather a couple of years ago and it still feels weird, like he's still here, but we're not talking. Don't forget to stay positive and keep talking to relatives/friends - remember the good times you had with him as well! God bless, my friend!
If he wants to see the musical, even if there are rules against recording I would explain the situation and ask for special permission.
I lost my grandpa a while back suddenly, so I can relate. Talk to people who are willing to talk. Remember all the good things. Uh. Don't do what I did and just bottle everything up until you're crying over a broken cookie.
Beyond that, don't let it pull you down too far. If you feel like it is, even only slightly, past what you think of reasonable, tell someone.
But do let yourself be sad and grieve in your way, whatever that happens to be. It is a terrible situation to be in, and my heart goes with you.
You should get your performance streamed live to your grandfather using something like skype or FaceTime. That way he can still see your performance even though he can’t be there. The best way I have found to deal with grief and stress like this is to vent it to someone who’s willing to listen. Your friends and family will be there to comfort you and most importantly, they’re going through your pain too. I say this because you need to remember you aren’t in it alone, and you’ll learn how to cope with people you trust and love. Hoped this helped
I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
One year ago, I lost my uncle.
I know how you feel, because I've been there, even to this day I miss him and that’s difficult.
I won’t go into details, but an event of this magnitude changes your personality and physiology in a matter of time. And when you lose someone whom you loved this quickly, like I did, it’s only until they die that you realize that the memory of the disease dominates over them. And it’s until after they’re gone that you realize that you’ve forgotten that there was a time when everything was fine before everything went wrong. There was something before this that helped you to become the person you are right now.
Regardless of what happens, I'm here for you when you need me.
Leah, I can't begin to tell you how deeply affected I am if hearing this.
I wish would do anything to take away the pain you and your family are going through. Let your grandfather know how much you love him and thank him for everything he's done for you and your family. Please know that he's in everyone's thoughts and prayers.
i want to give you the softest hug right now.
I lost my grandmother a little while ago. Honestly, everyone in the family saw it coming a mile away, and were all prepared for it. She lived a very long, very happy life, so there’s no reason for any of us to feel sad.
My best advice is just to keep remembering all the good times you had with your grandfather. I know that sounds pretty standard, but there’s a reason everyone gives it: it helps.
;-;
I'm sorry for your loss. *hugs*
It happened with my family last year, one of my grandfathers died making all my family in shock, and next his sister other of our grandmothers died next. My father who was their cousin never thought it would happen something like that. And then his mother died last year too.
It was so shocking and horrible.
I hope everything will go well for you.
*hugs*
I'm sorry, Harmony. My own grandfather passed last month, on Valentine's Day.
Can you set him up with a laptop and have someone stream it from a phone to him? That way, you can perform knowing he's watching.
I lost my grandmother earlier last year, I hope it gets better for you.
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I don’t think I can. Besides, we’re going to say goodbye to him today
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I'm sorry, Harmony. My own grandfather died, but that was before I was born.
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Then you have my truest sympathies. This will be hard.
You'll carry him with you forever. Remember what he wanted for you and believe that he's there with you, watching over your shoulder. I've got. . . a lot of ghosts on mine. They say in theater that the show must go on. And I believe that when you lose someone close to you, you're living for them now too, and you must live yours twice as well, for their sake. It's a thought that helps me keep getting up in the morning, when I'm feeling broken by this sort of thing. Maybe that thought will help you. Maybe it's not your style. Maybe it's just too much to think about right now. I don't know, but I hope you find your courage to keep going, and never forget him.
I'm sorry to hear that. Yes, I've lost people. You never forget them, but in time it gets easier to deal with.
You should talk with your mom or dad (depending on if this is your paternal or maternal grandfather) because losing a grandparent you care about is rough, but your mom or dad is losing their parent. You're both going through loss.
This comment is going to be long, but it's how I've coped with the loss of someone I held incredibly close to me and who I want to make proud with something I intend on writing. This will be relevant later, trust me.
So, at the beginning of August of last year, I lost my grandfather. I was very close to him. He was a great man and he was always a joy to have around. However, a few years ago, he began to get very sick and couldn't come up due to his inability to climb stairs and what have you. It was heartbreaking and it hurt immensely. Sadly, he died and I've handled it in a way that I can't say will work for you, but I digress.
The first is that, like you, his passing the first I'd felt in an extremely long time. The last relative I was very close to was my grandmother (his wife and my mother's mom). I was 5 then. I was 21 last year. I cried, I sobbed, I held back tears. The whole nine yards.
What I suggest is you mourn, you grieve, but you always remember the good times, keep the memories close to your heart, and you don't dwell on it.
To elaborate, and this is probably going to come across as a bit too blunt (and if it is, I'm very sorry), but dwelling on this will cause in an insurmountable amount of pain. Death's a part of life and, sadly, it'll happen throughout your. My suggestion to you is you let this be a learning experience; use it to understand the gravity and overall impact these events will have on you and your family.
Now, as for what I mentioned above about writing. I helped keep my spirits high by writing things that made me happy. I suggest you do things like that. Perhaps write something in his memory, or do something to honor him. My grandfather was an enormous fanof western movies and so, I want to write a western story in his memory as I think it'd make him proud of me. Perhaps, down the line, you could try something similar.
Anyways, I understand this was rambley and I'm sorry if it didn't quite help. However, this is how I've coped with the loss of my grandfather. I won't lie: months upon months later, it still hurts. I still miss him immensely. It will hurt. A lot. It'll hurt to see your family in so much emotional pain. However, as I said earlier: take advantage of this. Use it to understand the gravity and overall impact these events will have on you and your family. If you're like, it may help soften the blow of future events like this...
Maybe.
Hope this helps.
While I'd love to give a long, eloquent speech that hopefully made you feel better, I suck at that.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but relieved to see you can say goodbye.
I agree with 4812247, 4812248, and 4812255.
I'm so sorry about that, Harmony. *hugs*
I want to say something comforting, but I can barely up with something. I lost family members as well, and just today, another family member has passed away. I will say this, though. Remember the good times you had with your grandpa.
*hugs*
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Thank you all so much for your responses. It means a lot to me. He died on Saturday. (Which was the last day of my show, so that was a bit difficult). I’m okay. Surprisingly, I haven’t cried all that much. It just doesn’t feel real, yet. But again, thank you. And I’m sorry to all of you who have lost a loved one.
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Stay strong.
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Stay strong, sis. *hugs*
4815656 It can take time for reality to set in. It did for me. It's surreal at first and even now, it still kind of is.
4815656 *hugs* Stay strong and don't give up, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to.
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He's in a better, happier place now. Never forget him.
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I wish I could believe that. I appreciate the sentiment though, but I just don’t really believe in a heaven of any sorts. Although I’m glad he’s not in pain anymore.
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Hang in there!