Tbh this is fairly long and it's a lot of rambling · 6:01am Mar 7th, 2018
Good fuck do I hate not posting here. Might be writing some stuff for Fimfiction sooner rather than later, details on that (as well as a lot of somebunny rambling about other life things) under the “read more”.
So let’s start with the thing that’s actually relevant to your interests. I mentioned this before but to go into a little more detail, I’m doing the follow-up to Looking Glass that I said I wouldn’t do. It’ll pick up within days of Looking Glass’s ending and continue for roughly a month into Sunset’s life. It’ll be fairly short, only six chapters, with one chapter for each of her friends and the final chapter tying everything together. Each friend chapter will focus on Sunset learning a friendship 101 lesson from her friends while focusing on one on one interactions with them. This will also serve to set up Sunset’s interactions with them for future WWB stories as well as being a writing exercise for me to put more of a spotlight on characters and relationship dynamics that I haven’t written yet. Working title is Guiding Light based on a comment Luna made in Looking Glass and also fuck I should’ve used that as the name of LG’s final chapter so I could call this story Like a Phoenix from the Ashes because that would be so much a better name for this fic 
I legit might swap the names because it would honestly be so much more fitting for both of them
Something that might be relevant to your interests maybe is that I recently reread all of Looking Glass and plan on doing a pretty big blog post detailing my thoughts and stuff on it. Mostly for fellow nerds who are interested in some behind the scenes stuff and don’t give a shit about death of the author 
As one final thing you might care about before I just start rambling about me (ugh), I recently recorded an audiobook for Looking Glass. Like, the whole damn thing. Eighteen hours of audio, and it’s all fucking me reading my own damn fic. This is excessive by my standards, honestly, but I did it anyway. The thing is that I’m not sure if I want to release it because I’ve kept my biological sex a pretty big secret since I entered the fandom, and once I open that door it doesn’t close again. This is obviously a decision I need to make based on my own feelings towards my gender and what I’m comfortable being open about, which is nothing to do with any of y’all, but the reason I’m bringing it up is because I’m leaning towards releasing it.
So I guess what I’m trying to gauge here is are people interested in this? While the audio quality is clear and I spent way the fuck too much time going through and editing it to the highest quality I’m able to, my actual performance is mixed because due to autism I struggle with expressing emotions vocally. Half the reason I decided to record this was to practice exactly that, which is why I went through so much trouble for something that may never get a release. The other half though is for the benefit of a friend who’s dyslexic so that she may actually get the chance to check out my story, which got me to thinking that making my story more accessible would be pretty cool. So now I’m curious how many other people might be interested in something like this. (And if your interest is just in seeing what my biological sex is then honestly you can fuck off, or at least keep that shit to yourself. I have no interest in feeding anyone’s curiosity on that topic)
That covers everything important, but I also decided to ramble on with the “why” aspect of some of this. Did you notice that slick little reference to me being autistic that I kinda just threw out there as if everyone already knew about it? Well, I’ve decided to be more open with my experiences as an autistic person. I don’t particularly need a place to be open about my experiences with that because I have a pretty big group of friends and acquaintances who I can talk to if and when needed, but just because why not? I never really intended to keep being autistic hidden, I just never really found a reason to talk about it. But then it occurred to me that I enjoy finding out that authors/artists that I follow are autistic or queer because it adds a level of relatability, plus I do feel most comfortable when I can openly discuss whatever I want to regarding myself, so... why not?
On that note, this is going to be the most personal blog post I’ve ever made, but not in the sense of baring my soul or whatever the fuck. I’m just talking about me as a person in a way that’s not actually relevant to any of the people reading, and for no reason other than that I decided to do it. This whole thing exists less to inform my readers of things and more so that in the future I’ll never run into another situation where I stop myself from saying something because “I don’t feel like getting into that whole thing right now”, which has previously been the reason I’ve never mentioned being autistic.
The reason this is relevant now (aside from relating to the audiobook) is that the whole reason I’m going to write Guiding Light in the first place is because I can’t seem to not write horses. Particularly, I have a pretty extreme fixation on my Who We Become series, and my brain kinda jumbles things when I try to focus on other stories. I have a very rough idea for the original story I want to write, but every time I try to work on the world or characters or plot for it, I just can’t focus. This is a pretty major problem for me. I want to be a professional writer because fuck I’m not really good at a whole hell of a lot else, and yet the only thing my brain wants to be able to focus on is my queer horse soap opera.
Taking a step back to emphasise how big this problem is, I’m poor. I’ve referenced this before, but never really pointed out that I don’t mean poor as in I have less money than would be ideal, I mean living in poverty (I make about two-thirds of what the federal government considers poverty). I work at Walgreens as a cashier, which is an abhorrent job for someone with bad social anxiety. I’m overwhelmed and stressed all the time, and I don’t have any job opportunities in my area that I’m qualified for and would be less stressful (I could certainly get another job if Walgreens was the problem, but it would still be a similar position involving customer service). I could plausibly get more hours at work which would help offset that whole being poor thing, but then I’m adding more stress when I’m already overloaded. The amount of hours I work is nowhere near enough to be an issue for most people, but I’m not mentally healthy and this job makes that worse.
Writing is the only potentially marketable skill I have (and believe me that I do not need to be informed that writing is not an ideal career for financial stability). And yet the only thing my functionally broken brain wants to focus on is fanfiction, because my brain is just an asshole like that. I’d say that I’m hoping the short nature of Guiding Light might allow me to get that out of my system then I can work on my original fiction idea, but lmao I know better. I do still plan on focusing whatever effort I can into the original fic, because god damn I do dream of that middle-class life.
I know people only talk about financial hardships when they’re asking for money, but I’m very much not here. I have a stable living situation and while I may hate my job, I’m not liable to lose it anytime soon. Bills get paid, groceries get bought. I’m not looking for advice or for someone to talk to; I have a wonderful group of supportive people who are there for me. Being poor is just another thing I’d like to be transparently honest about. This is all part of my everyday life and it’s stuff I’m used to talking about openly elsewhere, so honestly none of this is even stuff I’m tryna make a big deal out of.
I would genuinely love to know what y’alls thoughts on the audiobook are, though 
TL;DR.
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Count me in!
Also hi I am queer and poor too and also tired and anxious
(I would type more but mobile devices wooo)
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And cool, glad to know that of I release the audiobook there will be at least someone interested 
Lol queer, poor, tired, and anxious is a pretty accurate summary of my life
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That's the lifestyle alright
As great of a story that Looking Glass is, an audio book would make it that much better in my opinion.
Hey Krickis! I've missed having a story of yours to comment in.
So, it is good to hear from you. I guess we all have our problems, it's good to be able to just talk about it if you feel like. I'm queer, have very similar problems with jobs, and I have OCD, so don't get me started on my crippling obsession with queer cartoon fanfiction. I hear you bunny. Good to have friends and something you love that helps you keep up. 
Good luck with that original work!
Would love to have an audiobook version of your story. I was planning to read it again, and that would be a great way to make it a different experience. Also,
for accessibility.
Hey Krickis! I’ve been having trouble focusing and reading recently, so I’ve been listening to more audiobooks. So I’m interested in having an audiobook of Looking Glass released.
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I’m told it’s not as bad as I seem to think it is, but I sound awfully monotone when I listen to it.
lol here’s hoping that it’s improved by my reading of it
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And yeah, accessibility is definitely a weakness of mine, so with that in mind I’ll probably release the damn thing. Plus it’s cool to see people here are interested, in spite of already reading the fic 
Hopefully I’ll be posting that story on here fairly soon, I’ve also missed seeing comments from ou and everyone else
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You know, oddly enough it’s only seeing your comment here that it occurs to me that I could do the same. I’ve had trouble reading things that I’m not editing for about a year now, so I should look into listening to more audiobooks as well.
And thinking of it like that does make me feel more inclined to release the LG audiobook hahaAnyway, glad to hear you’re interested4811640
To be fair, you did warn me.
I personally hope everything getws better, but I really am looking forward to all your future stories thats part of this who we become stuff.
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Still no eta on when it’ll come out, but I’m working on it now.
Thank you, and good news on the WWB front: I’ve started writing the next story
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Can you tell me when its posted?
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Sure thing
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Thanks, what is the next one if you dont mind me asking?
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Guiding Light, the one mentioned at the top of this blog post
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Oh the 6 chapter one? I thoguht it was going to be hte next one you had planned to do.