Chapter 9 has been rewritten! · 10:13pm Feb 25th, 2018
Like before, please don't read below if you don't want to see the potential spoilers that may follow in the below change list.
The Changelist:
-I readded the scene with Pinkie, but this time it went much differently. Still not quite sure why I had her leap on him before in the original...but whatever.
-I cut out the entire farm scene and reworked it from the ground up; Insidia helped me realize that Seth was constructing things poorly and that Big Mac was an awful taskmaster for trusting a total noob at construction to build a shed. He also pointed out that ponies have lightning rods and thus wouldn't take much damage from lightning.
-In what is the most major change to the farm scene, I included Rainbow Dash, in order to tie her character more closely with Seth. This will make Seth's comments about their initial relationship later in the story make more sense. For example "I hated you so much" or even in chapter 12 "I hate you." This kinda fell flat to me when I remembered that they literally argued once. Just once. I wanted to establish their complicated relationship early story, so I felt more scenes with her clashing with him needed to be added. At this point, I'd like it to seem like Rainbow is trying to find out more about Seth, but in her attempts, she rubs Seth the wrong way, leading to an argument. In other words, what Twilight said to her bothers her, but she's getting so frustrated trying to understand Seth.
-I had Granny Smith introduced to Seth earlier than in the original. I realized that I was excluding her for no good reason. Maybe I just didn't want to write her character. So I rewrote their initial interaction.
-all of the fillies now like Seth. This is long before Diamond Tiara was reformed, so she was likely still making their lives a living hell. So the fact that Seth seemingly stood up for them got him securely on their good side. Which was unintentional on his part, as he was only acting on his principles. This will change all future scenes with the cmc, especially Scootaloo. Then again, I kinda forgot about the cmc after the royal wedding...
-the Lyra scene. This one was hard to read back through in the original. All that happened was Lyra played a song, Seth cried like a bitch, and then she flirted and Seth overreacted. I kept her playing, and kept Seth getting emotional, but this time, his emotions went in a different direction. The song reminded him of what he'd lost, and who was responsible. I kept the part where Lyra was flirting, though at this point I wanted it to seem less spontaneous. She's been flirting with him from the get go, but this time she was just making it slightly more obvious, and not in a silly way.
-The Rarity scene. Boy, did I have fun with this one. I kept the general theme: Seth walks in, gets the strap, Rarity pulls some word-fu so he'd let her make him clothes, and he leaves. But I just fleshed everything out to match Seth's new personality, and to make it so that she'd actually defeat Seth in a battle of words. I'm happy with the way this scene turned out; it was a conversation from one artist to another!
That covers all the major changes for this chapter. If you haven't already, please go and leave a comment on the chapter!
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this by far is my fanfic i have complety read it 6 times .
Just the idea of being the only human left and ponies have made there own society just fasinates me.
hell sometimes I havbe dreams about me being in this scenario
if i had ever had a wish to go to equestria i would want it to be in a universe like this
expect with the oprresed and king sombra part.