Help! My Heart is Full of Pony! - Guilt and Reformation · 4:28am Feb 24th, 2018

https://dori-to.deviantart.com/art/Starlight-Glimmer-Print-690070953

My Little Pony has no shortage of reformed villains. They’re everywhere. They outnumber the Mane Six at this point. Some conversions have been more sudden than others, and all the redemption arcs have varied in complexity, but one thing that’s safe to say is that this type of story is a major thread in the fabric of the MLP tapestry.

That’s why I would like take a minute to discuss guilt.

By now, we’ve all seen the trope of the penitent ex-villain. It’s all over MLP, from Starlight’s year long re-assimilation arc (Season 6), to Sunset’s melancholy, to Princess Luna’s world-killing tantabus demon which is literally made of her own remorse. The moral of all of these tales is that one should learn to forgive oneself. It’s a fantastic lesson to learn, and one we all need to internalize, but I also want to take a moment to examine a somewhat less pleasant reality.

Guilt is important. Guilt can be good. Without it, no one would ever change for the better! Like it or not, we actually need guilt sometimes to drive us to examine our own actions, and to improve ourselves.

THE REALITY OF REFORMATION

You see, often times, works of fiction depict reformation, or redemption as single noble acts that turn one’s whole life around. My Little Pony has no shortage of these literally instantaneous reformations.

However, in real life, people‘s bad behavior comes from destructive patterns of thinking that are very difficult to break. It is only through extreme diligence and determination that one can overcome them. That’s why, generally speaking, in addiction treatment communities, “recovering alcoholics” are not referred to as “ex-alcoholics.“ If one believes oneself to have completely conquered one’s problem, one is more likely to lapse.

On the other hand, if you view that same problem as a lifelong struggle (that gets easier with practice, but never fully goes away), you’re far less likely to fall off the wagon.

While MLP does make great big productions of its magical instantaneous redemptions, it has also given us, in Starlight, a window into the every day work that goes into “getting your act together.“ Season Six bombarded us with constant reminders of her past. At the time, I thought it a little tedious, but the guilt that she feels is an important part of her character, not just because it’s a blunt comedic reminder of her past, but because without that guilt, she could very easily lapse. Her moral center may have changed, and her overall attitude may have changed with it, but the same cognitive processes that drove her to brainwash an entire village - her need for order and stability and control – never went away. Look at what she does every time she feels a situation spiraling out of her control. She panics. When she panics, she stops considering the feelings of others. She stops thinking with her head, and instead, she thinks with her horn.

Under pressure, Starlight acts, almost reflexively, and resorts to magic spells that control others. It’s a desperate move to try to create some stability in her world. The most obvious example of this is in Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, when Glimglam literally brainwashes Twilight’s five closest friends rather than cope with some stress and social awkwardness. She does it again in Royal Problems, (though it ends up working to everypony’s benefit there).

When the going gets tough, Starlight is terrified of handling things any other way. She is extremely talented with magic, and, like most of us, defaults to her strengths rather than looking for ways to improve her weaknesses. The one time that she tries to hold it back (All Bottled Up), her magic still gets the best of her. In the act of attempting to practice patience with Trixie, Glimglam becomes a time bomb of righteous magical anger, and just like in the old days, that magic ends up controlling the minds of ponies - this time by accident, (attacking innocent bystanders who just so happen to be near).

The fact of the matter is that Starlight's need for control – the anxiety she feels - the fear - it manifests in habitual thought patterns that take over, and make her lash out with magic. If left unchecked, this could very well turn her into a villain all over again. On some level, she knows it.

Guilt is what kept her in check during her rough transition re-assimilating into a friendship-based civilization - knowing, and fearing that the villain inside never truly died, only got redirected.

FEELING BAD

So what am I getting at here? How does this apply to the average person who has not enslaved a village, or tried to bring about eternal night? (I hope.)

For starters we can acknowledge that guilt is not really a bad thing in and of itself. This may seem obvious, but a lot of us have been conditioned to avoid negative thoughts and feelings - to guilt ourselves for feeling guilty - to seek out forms of instant gratification to numb our pain - to chase away bad feelings. Our society sometimes puts a lot of pressure on individuals to achieve happiness, like it is some grail to be sought; to appear happy, so that one can project an image of success; to buy things to give us satisfaction in the now.

Ironically, chasing away bad feelings is really, really, really unhealthy for you.

A recent study in the July 2017 Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who accept, rather than negatively judge, their emotional experiences respond better when confronted with daily stressors. We have to face those bad feelings, rather than run from them, or we will never learn, or improve ourselves, or better our lot in life.

GLIMGLAM

Personally, I find Starlight’s redemption arc to be a good one, even if it is ham-fisted at times. She doesn’t beat herself up just because of what she had done in the past. She’s hard on herself because the compulsions that led her to become a villain are still there. They've simply been redirected. For her, it’s a daily struggle.

There’s something noble about that.

Starlight's actions in the Season Six finale are braver than people tend to give her credit for. She wasn’t only learning to forgive herself - to transcend the guilt that had so far, defined her - she was doing so without magic – the emotional crutch she uses for everything.

Discuss.
-Sprocket

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ANNOUNCEMENT: In honor of the Lunar New Year, all of the Patreon proceeds for this particular essay will be donated to charity. I'll be donating to Bronies for Good's Seeds of Kindness fundraiser, which raises money for the Against Malaria Foundation, which has been ranked one of the most efficient charities in the world.