In Which I Read Twilight: Chapter 17 -- The Game · 3:36pm Feb 2nd, 2018
As the weather turns drizzly, Bella and Edward go back to Bella’s house, only to find Jacob and Billy waiting there. Edward reads Billy’s mind and learns that he’s there to warn Charlie about Bella and Edward being together. See, Bella? You should’ve told him earlier. Edward leaves before the Blacks can see him. When Bella enters her house, Billy’s supposedly there to deliver Charlie some fish fry, but he quickly shoos Jacob back to their car under the pretense of looking for a picture so he can talk privately with Bella (Charlie’s out fishing for the day and isn’t back yet).
Billy reminds Bella that Charlie is one of his best friends; it goes unstated that he’s concerned about his best friend’s daughter. He says he’s seen her spending a lot of time with the Cullens, tells her they have a bad reputation on the reservation, and cautions her to stay away from them. And, no, it’s not, “They’re terrible people! You need to keep back from them!” It really is unpushy, measured caution. In spite of this, Bella acts like a bitch to him, telling him that it’s none of his business. He concedes that gracefully, but asks her if Charlie knows. Her bitchiness goes up a notch when she says that that’s not his business, either. For Cadance’s sake, lady, he’s looking out for the wellbeing of his best friend’s daughter and you constantly say that it’s none of his business? Geez. Grow up.
Jacob returns, and we see that he needs to grow up, too:
“There’s no picture anywhere in that car.” Jacob’s complaining voice reached us before he did. The shoulders of his shirt were stained with the rain, his hair dripping, when he rounded the corner.
“Hmm,” Billy grunted, suddenly detached, spinning his chair around to face his son. “I guess I left it at home.”
Jacob rolled his eyes dramatically. “Great.”
So you didn’t find a picture. Big deal. You got wet because it was raining? Boo hoo. I’d be more worried that I was missing something.
Charlie comes home, and Bella finally tells her that she’s going out with Edward tonight to watch baseball. Charlie initially freaks out, but soon calms down. (And he doesn’t care that it’s raining buckets, because, as the story notes, this is perfectly normal behavior for Washington.) Although he notices a slight problem:
“You said last night that you weren’t interested in any of the boys in town.” But he picked up his fork again, so I could see the worst was over.
“Well, Edward doesn’t live in town, Dad.”
He gave me a disparaging look as he chewed.
As he should. You’re only technically telling the truth, Bella. You might as well be lying to him.
Edward soon arrives, and he and Charlie get along okay before he and Bella leave. They head out to an open field in the mountains, one where it isn’t storming. The other Cullens and Hales are already there, so the baseball game begins almost immediately. (And they use normal human equipment, so no vampire gloves, no vampire balls, and no vampire bats.) As most of them head out to their positions, Bella chats with Esme a bit, about a baby she’d lost and Bella’s relationship with Edward.
“You don’t mind, then?” I asked, hesitant again “That I’m… all wrong for him?”
“No.” She was thoughtful. “You’re what he wants. It will work out, somehow.”
“You’re what he wants.” Well, that’s reassuring. Oh, and “It will work out, somehow.”? Even more reassuring. A vague “it’ll be fine” is not how a parent should look at their child’s relationships.
It turns out the reason they can only play baseball during a thunderstorm is because the sound the bat makes when they hit the ball sounds like thunder at a distance, so they don’t want to attract attention. And, I’m not going to lie, this scene is kinda cheesy-sweet. It shows the Cullens and Hales a genuine family, doing family stuff together. You know, the sort of thing Bella’s and Edward’s relationship lacks. In fact, a lot of better-written stories miss the whole “family bonding time” idea the scene has.
However, the game’s cut short when Alice sees that the “visitors” she saw coming a few chapters earlier have changed their course and will be arriving sooner than normal. Apparently, they smelled Bella. Everyone moves to protect Bella. What’s this? Some actual tension? Well, not really, since I don’t care about the characters, but it’s still a rarity in this book.
Meanwhile, I just realized: Cheery? Friendly? Slightly scatterbrained? Able to see the future? Alice is discount Pinkie Pie.
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Discount vampire Pinkie Pie, actual responsible adults, family bonding moments...
How can this terrible story have so many good ideas?
It is possible that Jacob acts that way because he's a self-absorbed, oblivious teen, so I'll gove him a pass. By the way, wasn't there supposed to be some kind of love triangle there? Because I haven't seen it yet.
Is it bad that whenever I see the name 'Hale', I can't help but add 'Saxton' to the front?
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It's something that continually amazes me.
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I don't think the love triangle factors in until Eclipse, which I've only barely started. I've gotten through New Moon, and Edward isn't in it much because the Cullens leave Forks. Bella latches onto Jacob, but it doesn't get actually triangle-y until the last chapter, when the Cullens return to Forks and Edward and Jacob start getting macho at each other.
(Spoiler: New Moon is worse than Twilight. Really.)
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I'm honestly considering cherry-picking the basic setup (girl meets boy, boy is a vampire) and the good bits (stuff like Carlisle's backstory) and writing a story (maybe a pony one) based around those out of spite. To add to the choir, the amount of wasted potential is staggering. Oh, and New Moon adds "single father and small-town cop deals with daughter's depression and a string of mysterious murders" to plotlines that should have been.
I can certainly admire a good pun. This wasn’t one. You planned this from the beginning, didn’t you?
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Heh. I'd read it, even if it's only out of spite myself.
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Aw, c'mon, after living through all of this, I think he deserves a bad pun.