Odds and Ends 2: The Quitter and the Dentist · 4:43pm Oct 22nd, 2012
So, yeah, Odds 2 is out. So that's nice. Anyway this blog is written assuming you've read it and contains spoilers. So if you don't want spoilers, enjoy this pic from Madmax and then come back after reading.
Anyway, there was a lot of stuff that I decided to cut out of the story for pacing reasons. Most of them will end up re-purposed into later chapters, but one bit can't. So I'm going to show it to you here. Consider this as a thing that did happen, but it just wasn't relevant enough for the story.
It takes place right after Rita kisses Big Kahuna: (continued after the break)
“Big Kahuna, may I trouble you for two thermoses of stew?” he asked the elder. Rita’s eyes lit up as the pony nodded with a laugh. “And make mine vegetarian,” he added.
Scaled forelimbs wrapped around the Stag’s neck as Rita gave him a brisk hug. The Stag was very stiff and unyielding even as Rita pushed off him and sprung at the Big Kahuna, almost knocking him to the ground. The griffon proceeded to rub the corner of her mouth against the protesting pony’s cheek.
“What in the name of Celestia is she doing?” Kahuna pleaded to Stag as the griffon nibbled lightly on his cheek.
“Kissing you,” Rita squealed in between rubs and nips.
The increasingly blushing pony looked to the stoic Stag. The armored pony shook his head somberly. “I’m sorry, but kissing attacks fall outside my vow of fighting injustice,” he said with an entirely straight face.
“Are you ever gonna stop,” pleaded Kahuna. The chefs and every pony within sight of the scene burst out laughing.
“Never!” Rita wrapped her forelimbs tightly around Kahuna’s neck and increased her rate of griffon smooches.
A hoof tapped on Rita's shoulder and she turned to see one of the chef ponies with a thermos in his mouth. "Ver fou, madum," managed the chef.
Rita immediately released Big Kahuna who tumbled to the ground causing another row of laughter. "I thought you said you'd never stop kissing me," the elder giggled.
The thermos was raised above Rita's head as she smiled proudly before clutching the canister to her chest. "I got what I wanted from you," she said dreamily.
A pony shouted angrily nearby and Rita jammed the thermos in her shirt. "Something interesting's going on!" she chirped and went skipping in between the huts to the source of the yell. Stag and Kahuna followed at a much leisurely pace.
"Is she always like this?" Kahuna asked his honorary brother, an eyebrow raised.
"I just met her this morning," Stag rumbled. "But I think it's safe to say, yes."
Rita rounded the corner of a hut and saw a large circle several yards across, it was surrounded by a razor wire wrapped wooden fence that stood at eye level. Inside the circle were two Piranha tribals, the young one was weaving and dodging the ferocious kicks and attempted bites from the older. By the gate into the circle stood four other Piranhas, all eagerly watching the proceedings.
"Does that guy owe them all money?" Rita asked Kahuna while pointing at the dodging pony.
"No," Kahuna, for once, didn't laugh. "That's Dune Runner. He'd been expressing dissatisfaction with our way of life for some months."
"Oooooh," Rita ground her fist into her open palm, "Beating the insubordination out of him? I know all about that!"
"That's not our way," Kahuna stared at the dodging pony. "It's just after his most recent supply run to Salt Lick City, he came back saying he wanted to leave. He's free to do so of course, but he has to endure the trial first."
Kahuna pointed at the attacking pony and at the the other four Piranhas by the gate. "Our way of life requires that some of our secrets be kept as just that. If a pony is able to withstand an hour’s worth of non-stop combat with changing opponents, then he has the fortitude to withstand any 'questioning' he may endure about us. On top of that, we do want to discourage ponies from leaving; because when you're a group of earth ponies who fight most threats with your teeth, you need numbers on your side.
"Do all of your traditions involve beating the snot out of each other?" Rita asked, bouncing on her paws as she watched the dodging pony.
“You should see our weddings,” Big Kahuna replied.
Rita whipped her head towards the elder. "Wait, did you say that guy was at Salt Lick City? I knew he looked familiar! He hit on me at that saloon! Seeing him in action makes me wish I gave him another shot."
Rita bounced up on her hind legs, waving both claws excitedly. "Hey Dune Runner! It's Rita! The griffon from this morning! You're hot!"
The pony looked her way for only a second, but it was all the opening the attacking Piranha needed. Both back hooves struck Dune Runner’s the face, sending him flying to the ground.
Rita clamped a claw over her beak and looked sheepishly at Big Kahuna. “I guess I shouldn’t have done that,” she cringed.
“Don’t worry about it,” Big Kahuna said, dismissively waving his hoof. “The trial doesn’t actually begin until he takes his first hit. We don’t tell them that though.”
“Oh,” Rita said, taking her claw from her beak. “Well, in that case...”
Rita reared up and cupped both claws next to her beak. “Hey Dune Runner!” She shouted. “If you make it through this, I’ll give you a hummer!”
Both ponies turned to look at the griffon waving with one claw and pointing at her open mouth with the other. The ponies respective faces cycled between intrigue and confusion. Dune Runner's opponent slapped him to the ground without taking his own eyes from Rita.
"Aw, come on," the bleeding Dune Runner whined.
"Tradition," the other pony shrugged and then resume his attack.
"I don't think he's gonna be leaving us today," Kahuna winced. He and Rita stepped away from the arena, Stag stayed behind and continued to watch.
"Oh well," Rita sighed. "He's getting less cute by the minute as it is. Anyway, how could he blend in with the rest of pony-dom? Everyone will know he's one of you by his teeth."
"He wouldn't have left without stopping by the dentist to get his choppers reset to normal," Kahuna explained.
"You have a dentist?" Rita asked popping her brow.
"Best dentist in Equestria," the elder puffed out his chest. "Has to be when all his clients do a lot of their fighting by mouth. His work's so good, our teeth are usually the last thing to break on us. Some ponies will use our teeth as weapons, mechants'll pay good caps for 'em." Kahuna scratched the back of his head. "Maybe our dentist is actually too good."
"Yeah kinda sucks about the whole, 'poaching thing'," Rita said and, using her talons, tugged down the corners of her mouth, exposing her own ferocious teeth. "Do you think he could see me real quick? I chipped a tooth some years back and I don't like the asymmetry."
Kahuna pointed at a nearby hut, with a large painting of a smiling, sharpened tooth on the door. "That's his office, he could have you ready to bite through a rifle barrel in minutes."
The elder reached a hoof out and banged on the door. "Hey Cesthwayo," the Kahuna called, "got a new impatient patient for you."
"Cethswayo," Rita repeated and scrunched up her face. "That's a dumb name for a pony."
Another bark of a laugh came from the Kahuna. "That it is," he said as the door opened. "Good thing he's not a pony."
A striped leg stepped from the doorway, followed in short order by a striped face and striped body. "I'm always happy to meet someone new," the zebra said with a broad smile. "Tell me griffon, what can I do for you?"
Rita's eyes went wide, her beak fell open, the corners of her mouth pulled down in an open-mouth grimace. She pointed one talon at the zebra's face and gave a long low hiss.
Cethswjayo looked to the chief who merely shrugged and back to the pointing and hissing Rita. "I do not understand," he said pawing at the ground. "Have I done something to offend?"
"Stag," Rita shouted over her shoulder, "we're leaving! Get the blindfold!"
... That zebra reaction says alot about Rita but yeah I can see how this wouldn't fit into the story.
441902
Yeah, it's a lot of fun writing about Rita's over the top prejudices and I loved the world building I was doing with the Piranhas, but this is not that story. This was the story about Rita earning and then losing the Iron Stag's trust and how she deals with him.
441902 "alot" is not a word
446506
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alot
YOUR MOVE.
446621 "alot" is not an English word
452860
Next time, be more specific.
452882