Fic recs, December 30th, plus year-end review stats! · 12:04am Dec 31st, 2017
Scribbler's newest reading is Titanium Dragon's Apple Shampoo, with Neighrator Pony, Agent0Fluffy, Gina M, Miss Shellah, Thelifeoncloud9 and Knight of Breath!
Got one more in before the buzzer! Not a lot of fics this time, but just enough to merit it, plus a lot that I really enjoyed! Read through to the bottom for some fun year-end stats! :D
H: 3 R: 1 C: 0 V: 0 N: 1
Tracks in the Sand by DwarvishPony
Genre: Post-Apocalypse EQG
The world is a wasteland of blowing sand, but maybe there's still some room left for friendship.
This is a reimagining of EQG as a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and I was way into it because post-apocalypse. :D This is either a great story about the power of friendship conquering adversity in an uncaring world, or a great tragedy about a lonely girl wandering the wastes. There's room for interpretation, and I think that's a real strength here. If nothing else, "two girls find friendship and more in a wasteland" is compelling stuff, and I enjoyed this through and through.
Highly Recommended
Sugar Swirl's Summer Cart! by LightningStyle
Reading by Winged T. Spears
Mature: Sex
Genre: Foodplay
Sugar Swirl is desperate to beat her extended heat cycle.
I think I gave this one a chance in the vain hope that it would offer something different from your standard heatfic. And, I mean, it does, in that there's none of the usual reprehensible "mares in heat are mindless sex slaves" folderol one would expect. Still, while this presents Sugar Swirl's predicament as negative for her, the reader is nevertheless invited to take advantage of her situation for their own prurient ends. I was reminded of posts I've read from people suffering from nymphomania, who are tired of being thought of as "easy" and wish they could do things other than have sex all the time. There's no sympathy here, is my issue; she's just exploited for your enjoyment as much as she would be were she mindlessly horny. And on a lesser note, I found the whole thing just kind of gross.
Not Recommended
Vanishing Act by An Intricate Disguise
Reading by Scarlett Blade
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clopfic
Trixie gets more than she expected when showing off her new invisibility spell to Starlight.
It may be that I'm a complete slut for this ship, but I loved this. You rarely see first-person clop. About as often as I have call to praise a clopfic for something structural, as matter of fact. This is a masterpiece of character voicing. First-person Trixie is hard to pull off as it is, what with the "third equals first" thing she's got going on, but this juggles the two with aplomb. And yes, the sex is hot, but we are here for lit-er-a-ture, you sillies. :V I will say that if there's anything to criticize, it's that things like consent or good portrayals of BDSM go by the wayside for increased hotness. But otherwise, call this Highly Recommended for Starxie Fans.
Recommended
You Can't Eat Gold by KingMoriarty
Reading by Winged T. Spears
Genre: Comedy/Fable
Once upon a time, everything was fine, and then those stupid unicorns discovered gold.
This story naturally divides into two parts, and though the second doesn't quite stand up to the first, the meat of the story is what makes this. The writing is whimsical, the kind of thing I enjoy seeing, and I was quite amused when it took a shift into overt, not to mention droll, storytelling. It's hilarious, is the point, and if you haven't read this yet, you absolutely need to right now.
Highly Recommended
The Hesperus Gate by Meta Four
Sequel to Den Fjerde Væg
Genre: Dark/Meta as Fuck
An ancient evil has awakened once again. Drastic measures will have to be taken.
What's this? Present reviewing a Cancelled fic? Well, it turns out that's kind of the whole point to this Alarm Clock threequel, and I was gonna read it regardless. :V Once again, Meta Four lives up to his moniker and brings us the most meta fic since, I dunno, probably Meta. This is what we in the SCP Foundation call a format screw, and a pretty damned good one at that. You can see how everything is carefully designed, all the little mistakes a part of a greater whole. It also makes for some excellent horror. It moves quickly, but if you grasp what's going on, it's quite effective. I wonder if there'll be a fourth story…
Highly Recommended
So, thank you for reading all the way to the end. :) This year, I've reviewed 780 fics, down almost 300 from last year and the lowest number since 2013, when I officially started reviewing. In fact, this was the first year since then that I didn't break the 1000 fic mark! :/ I kinda don't feel good about that.
What changed? I'm not sure, or at least, I can't remember. It's been a long year. There was getting my desktop back that certainly didn't help. I did at least a couple really long stories for vs. posts. Through the Well of Pirene and Subjunctive took ages for me to finish, and that actually probably took up a large portion of my extra reading time. :/ That's unfortunate, because this was the year I also got my smart phone. It should have freed me up to read more, but instead I used it to get through, well, at least Subjunctive, and now I'm just gaining lots of weight. D: Ugh.
Well, whatever, here are stats:
Highly Recommended: 124 (15.9%)
Recommended: 259 (33.2%)
Conditionally Recommended: 276 (35.4%)
Vaguely Recommended: 60 (7.7%)
Not Recommended: 54 (6.9%)
No Recommendation/Review Deleted: 2 (0.02%)
I also did 5 vs. posts, and the scores from those are 1.5, 2.5, 3.5, 4 and 5. Runs the gamut!
Wow, look at that front-loading! I chalk this up to… Actually, I'm not sure. I know I got good results from people paying me to read stuff. I don't think I spent a lot of time reading off my RIN/RIS/RIL, but maybe? Maybe I just got lucky with the readers. Speaking of which…
Most stories read:
Scarlett Blade 75
Scribbler 42
Winged T. Spears 29
ShadowOfCygnus 19
Illya Leonov 18
Astro-Brony 14
lieilengi 11
Everyone else had less than 10. Captain Sand still reigns supreme! Scribbler has been holding down a rather impressive twice-a-week schedule, and Winged T. Spears gets about 10 more, going by what's in my to-listen at the moment. Also, I reviewed 28 new readers! Almost up to 200!
Most stories reviewed:
Esle Ynopemos 21
Super Trampoline 20
FanOfMostEverything 16
KingMoriarty 13
Cold in Gardez 11
Admiral Biscuit/FuzzyFurvert/ObabScribbler 9
Argembarger/AugieDog/Pascoite 8
Of course, most of that (save Trampoline) is minifics. Take those out, and here's a quick list of people who got 3, 4, even 5 reviews this year:
BlazzingInferno
Chinchillax
Chris
dramatic_spoon
DwarvishPony
Ebola-chan Ganbatte
Estee
Foals Errand
GaPJaxie
Georg
horizon
iisaw
Jay-The-Brony/Jay David
Lil Penpusher
Lise Eclaire
Majin Syeekoh
Martian
Meta Four
Opium4TmassS
Oroboro
PonyThunder
princeps
RarityEQM
shortskirtsandexplosions
SoloBrony
Star Destroyer
TheCrimsonDM
TheNewYorkBrony
Trick Question
Tumbleweed
Twinkletail
WishyWish
xjuggernaughtx
Quite the list! But seriously, 3 is kind of high for most people.
And, uh, that's it, I guess. :B I'm working through my audiobooks again right now, which is how I'm posting this one. When I'm down to just Winged T. Spears, I'll go back to editions, and maybe go back and forth with those for a while. We'll see what happens! But you can expect Interwoven Colours happening sometime next year, hopefully soon!
Silver Glow rocks.
img00.deviantart.net/de89/i/2016/203/9/1/silver_glow_by_centchi-dab0hta.png
Just sayin'
You should read my latest PP. It's right up your alley.
Yes, I can write comedy when forced by circumstances beyond my control.
If I give you $80,000 will you feature one of my fics?
Totally serious. I got a nice line of credit at my local bank.
4762777
Please don't joke like that with someone who is having extreme financial difficulties.
4762777
That would pay off my loans and allow me to get started somewhere I can actually find work.
Unfortunately, the site featuring posts are not the work of me myself, and dividing that five ways makes it considerably less of a lucrative idea. You'll understand, of course.
4762787
A joke?
You misunderstood. I am that desperate to escape the confines of obscurity on this site.
It is almost physically painful to me. You can't imagine how much it eats away at my mind.
4762793
Say no more, old chap. I merely thought you might be interested.
I was oscillating between taking out a loan on a new car or giving it to you as a early present. I guess that answers that.
4762804
Could you offer to pay off his loans as payment for a normal review? Because you could save his life.
Wow, you're right. I'd added 8 chapters to my minific anthology since you last reviewed it, so I just had the impression you weren't reading it anymore. I wouldn't have expected that they would constitute the majority of my reviews for the year. Oh, I misunderstood something. Okay, reset. Wait, did I miss one? You say you did 8 reviews, but I only have 7 bookmarked: the ones from 1/3, 1/27, 3/6, 4/12, 5/9, 5/24, and 9/15.
4762802
I really can't restrain myself anymore -
Can't imagine?
I'm sorry, but you have zero sense of priority, and the mere fact that you think that your "pain" of not getting out of obscurity is somehow beyond the comprehension of others says a great deal about you. Try being poor.
You're making me blush here.
Tracks in the Sand is my favorite story I've written. Thanks for showing it some love.
Man these stats are impressive, I am just dreading/expecting the day you do a vs review on one of my stuff.
4762872
Get as angry as you want, it won't hurt my feelings nearly as much as being on this GODDAMNED website for almost half a decade and seeing the silliest shit get recommended and featured, while I bleed and sweat and cry over my fics and am largely ignored.
Please, vent your spleen. Go nuts. Let your entire restraint go. Unleash your final control. Bellow your rage. Scream your fury to the four winds. Anything to make you feel better. I'm a big girl, I can take it.
Just a small FYI: When I was younger I was sleeping in my car and in the houses of strangers, so, um, yeah, thanks, I guess. I had no health insurance and hungered and thirsted and suffered various illnesses. It was well wicked, my friend.
It's not like I'm some kinda dumbass, either. I've been writing for longer than my career here; I did NaNoWriMo a few times and knocked that shit out of the park.
This? This is just depressing. If me being upset about it makes you feel some kinda way, I dunno what to say, my friend. I'm sorry? Please forgive my despair? Pardon my anguish?
I really don't know what to say about 'what that shows about me'. If yer gonna detract me as being a Bad Person and Evil, join the queue, kiddo. You're not the first person to insinuate it and are unlikely to be the last; I've resigned myself entirely to that eventuality.
So I'll continue to reside in my Tower of Evil, nursing my various grudges and so on.
Your next line is:
That is why I am willing to bankrupt myself to escape this hell. Should've known it wouldn't be that easy, though, and that my attempt would only engender even more issues...
It is, as they say, how it goes. I took my shot at it and it failed. I'm not going to push my point further; understand that I am only continuing this conversation because it seemed from your tonal shift that you were attempting to cow me into submission or that you intended to frighten me, or something. You will find I am much more resilient than that.
Ain't no grave can hold me, friend. Vomit forth your spleen. I can take it. I long for it, even.
I am unlikely to respond because I don't see further discussion bearing fruit, but you can do so.
4762982
I like how you immediately turn this to you, rather than recognizing how hurtful it is for you to assert that this "anguish" you feel is anything of the sort.
You aren't worth frightening.
4762999
Or rather, you realized I'm a tougher bitch to crack than you initially thought. I harbor no hard feelings towards you; I just thought I'd let you know you aren't dealing with a kid here. I've seen and been through some shit,.
You will never break me. Glad you've come to that realization and backed off.
I legitimately burst out laughing at that bit about restraining yourself. The problem is you didn't realize who you were dealing with here, sister.
More's the pity; you could not and never will, so don't even try. Or do; you're in over your head here, friend. I'm not going to get angry at you, either. I'm just amused you feel like you need to teach me a lesson or some shit. I find that utterly hilarious.
4763008
...what?
Can you see with your head that far up your ass?
No, I don't think you're a "tough nut." I think you're a narcissist. I'm not intimidated by you, and it says a lot about you that you seem to think that this is what it comes down to. The level of conclusion you're jumping to here is uniquely ridiculous.
Maybe you're not a child, but you're definitely childish.
4763011
Intimidated enough that you felt the need to issue that ridiculous threat.
You hoped I'd tuck my tail between my legs like a, well, like a female dog and start cringing and whining; instead I confronted you directly.
Gotta say, I'm really disappointed in you, after all the nice conversations we've had, but one thing I absolutely do not tolerate is someone getting in my face. And you got in my face fo' sho. You were all up in my grille, as they say.
4763015
Dude.
You want to take out a line of credit for $80,000 for the sake of maybe getting noticed on a website for a dying fandom. You present this to someone who has recently expressed great despair over their financial situation. When confronted about this bullshit, epic-tier privilege, your response is to turn it back to yourself, selfishly whining about how much anguish you're in not getting noticed on a website for a dying fandom and among the least popular parts of that fandom.
You think that I'm trying to - what, intimidate you? Frighten you? Threaten you? This proves you have no real judge of intent, which I'm going to guess is probably a major flaw in your writing. You have no sense of perspective or priority, which is why you talk about your anguish while the guy you made the offer to is actually struggling to survive due to troubled finances.
You come across as a narcissist for whom your momentary, unimportant urges and issues are more important than another person's life, one who takes any criticism of it as some sort of massive battle.
If I were going to frame a picture of what a narcissist was, this would take the cake. I took screenshots of your posts to share with my friends so they could marvel at how ridiculous this is, and boy did they ever.
4763023
'
Absolutely.
And your attempts are failing. Pretending that this isn't a misguided attempt to frighten me isn't going work, my friend. I'm far too experienced to be hoodwinked by novice-level misdirection like this.
You came out of your corner swinging with both fists, thinking that I was some sort of wilting flower who would be utterly terrified by your show of force. You ended up failing spectacularly, because I am neither cowed or frightened by your aggression or your show of force.
You think me a narcissist? Splendid. I am, in fact, narcissistic. I am also self-important, egotistical, conceited, and vain, honey. That's the kind of woman I am.
I'm glad your friends are amused, although why this matters to anything is a mystery to me since they are your friends and I am unlikely to ever meet them in my entire life. Keep the compliments coming, sister. I'm flattered by your unique brand of charm.
4763033
So just going to ignore the point about the money and how insensitive it was to offer this to PresentPerfect?
I mean, you're either a liar or the silliest person I've ever met, but let's get this out of the way.
4763036
Yes, because you confronted me directly.
Furthermore, I reiterate that I was entirely serious. I am serious, here. I have a legal retainer on standby; if you want me to drawn up a legally binding contract outlining the exchange of money I will have it done within the next week. He declined, so I withdrew my offer and was perfectly willing to let the matter go.
You're the one who decided to get in my face and try to intimidate me, for reasons I do not entirely comprehend, which was the worst decision you could have possibly made just now. I'm not that kind of girl. If you get in my face, I will confront you, absolutely.
I am...deeply disappointed in you. You talk to me about narcissism when you do this to someone who was once one of your staunchest allies? And then talk about how I disgust you?
You should tell your friends about all the pleasant times you've had speaking to me before you went on this wrong-headed quest to cow me into submission.
4763042
I'm going to let you try and figure out why I'm upset. Consider it a writing lesson. All of the clues exist in the text.
Thus far, you have misinterpreted my intent and actions. If you succeed, then I will respond and talk to you.
4763043
You'll be waiting a while because I really don't want to talk to you again. Like, ever. Not unless you apologize for this ridiculous attempt to intimidate me in this thread. So far you have displayed a complete lack of respect for my person. I would have forgiven that, but the unreasonably hostile attitude sealed it. I don't associate with people who think they can get away with that kind of shit.
You made one big-ass mistake coming for my ass like that, sister. I trusted you.
4763048
Bzzzt.
You have again mischaracterized my intent. Please try again at processing human emotion.
4763049
Give it a rest, sister, I've witnessed more angry people threatened by a competent, confident, powerful black woman than you can count on your hands and toes. You won't be the last. I already know how this story goes.
I thought you were better than that, is all. Should've known I'd be disappointed in the long run.
Goodbye. Have fun laughing with your friends or whatever, I guess.
4763062
You are not even in the same ballpark. It's like instead of running home in Wrigley Field, you ran all the way to Anaheim to slide into the base there.
This reminds me of how little fanfic I read this year (or read in general, come to that). You'd think having no job, there'd be plenty of time for it. But between working on that collab, and the sheer amount of other entertainment, I didn't really have a moment where I felt compelled to spend my time on (reading) fanfic.
I suppose that's always been a unique thing about reading, though. Because of it's more involved nature, it represents a greater mental investment, not necessarily a greater time investment.
I won't think much of spending 100 hours playing Tales of Berseria or Breath of the Wild, but sitting down to read!?
I dunno that seems like a lot of effort. 
4762857
Boom.
4763062
4763063
I have no words for this. Great way to end the year, ladies.
4763185
I feel no regrets, other than perhaps not moving it to PMs.
4763185
4763479
I apologize for fighting in your post, but...
My man, if a white woman gets in my face and thinks she can teach me a lesson or some ish like that, I'm gonna come back at her twice as hard.
I'm the kind of black woman who really shouldn't be messed with. It is almost always a bad idea to come for me, 100%.
I got her to back off. Seriously, I'm still giggling a little at how she was trying to stunt on my black ass just now.
"I can't hold myself back", lmao. I WISH A BECKY WOULD BECAUSE I WILL SNATCH HER WIG.
Ether was all like, "who the fuck does this black bitch think she is? I'mma take her ass down a peg or two!"
Tip: don't ever do that
4763812
You need to figure out how to communicate with people a little better.