I swear the Nutter is Psychic, and he ruined the Holidays · 7:45pm Dec 24th, 2017
Well three or four days ago I was finally getting my art going again. I was happy, feeling better, and frankly focused for once.
Then I made the mistake of smiling in front of my dad.
Long story short is he’s on the warpath again.
And I swear he’s psychic because every time I start doing something he’s screaming and raging. The Holidays are frankly ruined due to him. For about two or three days now, conveniently when I was working on art that was long overdue, he’s exploded.
And since yesterday it’s been nonstop psycho rage, as in I woke up to screaming.
Long story short as to why, my dad sucks at money management and has refused to help pay bills for two to three years. Instead he’s bought lots of stupid things, and put a business in danger. My mom, in order to pay the damn bills she couldn’t cover on her own, got a card in secret since my abusive dad won’t allow her to have any power over her finances without his say.
Of course what happens when you have to use a card to pay bills you can’t afford because the dude who makes money refuses to help pay bills like a normal marital partner would?
Why, you get in credit card debt that’s what. So mom maxed out the card covering for bills and food, and buying all of eight new outfits over three years at discount prices. Dad loses his shit, uses the situation to turn my sibling against my mom and ruin the holiday; and I very wisely stayed in my room while the storm raged. I would have gone downstairs, but chances are he would have beaten me senseless. Being the rather small guy I am, the idea of being beaten to a pulp by two other guys doesn’t appeal to me. Also, due to this havoc of a household I live in my mental state is barely stabilized as is. The last thing I need is another June incident.
Best part is if the narcissistic tub of lard would just ease back on takeout meals, going out to eat, and buying shit he doesn’t need the card bill would be covered. Heck if he did that, all the debt would be gone like magic. It’s called self control, restraint, and budgeting. He has none of those. Instead he’s blaming everyone else and projecting like crazy instead of being a man and sane. Explosive raging has been the holiday decor this weekend, oh and apparently because I’m agnostic I’m not allowed to have a Christmas Holiday. Yeah, he said that this morning. Considering old tub of rage hasn’t been to church since forever, I find that laughable. Dude doesn’t even pray, yet he’s spouting off holier than thou justification for his abuse.
He cancelled Christmas because his crappy money management made my mom take out a card to pay for bills he refused to pay.
But apparently he still wants a Christmas gift.
To get into my private storage shed.
Pardon me while I throw my head back and laugh. 
Anyway, so that’s how things are. I actually had managed to get gifts together for everyone for the most part, minus the ones I have to make. My mom was looking forward to the Holiday too, which probably part of why he ruined it. Also he got mad over the sound of me cleaning the steamer wand in my latte machine that’s older than I am. You clean it, by turning the steamer wand on and letting hot water shoot out to clean it. Well it wasn’t just the wand, apparently the mere sound of my espresso machine is too much noise for mister 50 volume tv.
Then he used that to launch into a short tirade about how he’ll bring home a safety sound meter and put it by the machine every time I use it. And then he cried about how “he’s certified to do that too!”. I don’t know where this having to prove he has more certification and training than I do came from. I mean, of course he has more certification than I do he’s freaking 62 or something. What the frack caused him to need to Lord his training and credentials over me when all I’ve got is a full degree in one thing and a few extra classes. Also how the frack does one go from railing about a coffee machine being loud to bragging about your credentials in whatever?
Also if he tries that safety meter thing I just might lose it since my only remaining normal routine now is making coffee in the morning. I have PTSD, routine is important for many reasons for me. Also it’s the holidays, why couldn’t he at least pretend to be a decent human being for two days?
Why does the title say I think he’s psychic?
Well truth is he isn’t, he just knows when I stay in my room on my work device I’m working on something important. Especially when I have my headphones in. And the psycho loony loves to ruin my work or any attempt to make money to get out.
Anyway, so it’s been hell for the past few days and I wasn’t sure if I should post a blog about it or not. I decided to after being told I don’t deserve a holiday since I’m not in a religion, also I’m calling the holidays Midwinter Festival now because I’ll likely never be able to hear the words “Christmas and Christmas Eve” again without panicking.
Oh I almost forgot, this morning he apparently bullied mom into agreeing to sell the house by late January by verbally accosting her for four hours. And he proudly told me I have till the end of January to find a place to live to.
Well I’m broke, because of medical bills, and he went on to say it’s my fault I don’t have savings,
No the reason I don’t have savings is because he pushed me to the point I went into a PTSD shock state and tried to put myself in a coma via OD. Hospital bills aren’t cheap you know. Technically he should have paid for them, you know since he abused me to the point I was in that state. He had decided me trying to off myself doesn’t matter and he doesn’t care, oh yes he reiterated the doesn’t care bit today. On Christmas Eve.
Besides, I have no money for rent and there is no way I could get cleared for a place anywhere in four weeks. It doesn’t work like that. The guy is so out of touch with reality that he doesn’t understand that. My best bet is to wait till January then list crap as fast as possible and hope enough sells so I can get a place and move. Chances are I’ll only be able to get a Sublet or something, but it’s better than nothing.
So yeah, my Holiday is ruined because my narcissistic nutter of a father has gone full Krakatoa. I’ve got a month to do the impossible, and he wouldn’t stop or give me time to work all day due to his constant rages.
Good news is everything will be posted on Christmas Day since apparently the holiday is cancelled in this damned house so I can just work instead.
I’d like to be able to eat something first though, the guy had been attacking me every time I go downstairs so I haven’t gotten a proper meal in almost 72 hours. One serving of fruit and peanut butter is all I’ve managed to snag each day.
I’m going downstairs again to try to get food to fuel my art, wish me luck.
I hope your Holidays are better than mine.
Glen Gorewood
Hang in there man. I wish you well.
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I’m trying but it’s so damn hard.
I managed to get food but he blew up again. But at least I’m not so starving I’m passing out like yesterday. Yesterday I was so dehydrated and nutrient deprived I kept collapsing into a sort of sleeping stupor state. I face planted on my work device a few times, and just couldn’t stay awake.
After I posted the blog he kept screaming for me to do stuff, only thing I did do was move my car. Then it got scary, he literally became “calm” like nothing was wrong. He’s convinced my mom it’s all her fault, and made my sibling damn near disown her. Now he’s acting like everything is fine, which means he’s going to explode again soon. Creepy part is after ruining the holiday for everyone he has started decorating the tree and house on his own, and he’s acting all jovial. Its like I’m in a horror movie right now Belligerent. Someone should make a fan fiction based on this premise and send me the link, because it would be less terrifying than living it. I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if he up and tried to kill someone tonight.
I really have no idea what the hell is going on. All I know is I am going to finish up dinner and get back to work. Then hide under my covers all day tomorrow and work more. Then keep working till the art is done and post then work more. I’ll just repeat that till January, probably running off somewhere for New Years solely so I don’t have to be around him.
I hate living in this nightmare.
Glen Gorewood
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I continue to hope that you and your mom will find someplace safe to be. If things get dangerous, you shouldn't hesitate to call for help.
I am sorry to hear this Glewn. You've got my best wishes and all the hope things turn up for you.
dude that so sucks! i feel you and a wish that you can stay safe and sane.
I second Evilhumour's words, and wish for things to improve for you as soon as possible.
Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.
At least your house didn't explode like mine did back in 2015.
I hope things turn out for you, and i wish you luck for the future
In your position I'd be calling the cops and the hospital, in fear for my life that your dad has some kind of condition like a brain tumor or something. At the very least he sounds completely unfit to be a parent or spouse and needs a restraining order.
Glen i can understand what you’re going through my mom is in the same place, my stepdad is a dick hes ground my mom down from a proud women to a skeletal thing you’d see in a drug addicts site, a while ago she started hallucinating, my aunt said enough so we took her to a hospital shes much better now, she was suffering from alcohol abuse and physical and mental trauma, u might be in the same situation the only advise i can give is to consider yourself and ur mom, guys like ur dad and my stepdad they crave control and theyll do what they can to keep it, it sounds like things are falling apart and sometimes all u can do is cut ur losses. Right now all that matters is u and ur mom, property is replaceable u are not. Do your best to get out of that shitty situation if u have family or friends u can stay with them and take ur mom too, my aunt and i are at my cousins house to avoid my stepdad my moms out of state. If its really as bad as it sounds then u might want to jump ship it sounds like its about to collapse take ur mom and go even if u have to rent a hotel or sleep in a car if the bills dont get paid then who cares you wont be living there anyway, its cruel to think that way but practical ur brothers have abandoned ur mom and ur dad is crazy thats not family and thats no way to live, anyway enough from me. Good luck and i hope u escape this situation and i want u to know i made this account specially for u. Sincerely Solarsquire20
Hang in there!
Thank you for all the support everyone.
I’ve been dealing with him the only way possible, staying in my room. My mother isn’t so lucky, he won’t let her alone if he can help it. She’s secretly trying to relearn or catch up on nursing to get receritifed, so hopefully she can get out of this mess that way. The primary reason she can’t leave is finances, and my sibling and I. If both of us leave the home I’m certain she will find a way out, or I hope so at least. My mom used to be a very strong woman, and broke the proverbial glass ceiling multiple times. People actually know of her in the medical field, and seeing her like this when I remember her being an Amazonian powerhouse with a huge heart just causes me to hurt. He’s convinced her she’s crazy, when he’s the psycho in the home. Just like for years he convinced everyone, including myself, that I was an evil monster. It’s demented, and wrong. Also it turns out he was not done ruining the holidays as I feared.
Shortly after my last reply post here I ended up really sick until today. It turns out the monster intentionally cross contaminated my food with allergens that could kill me. Gluten and dairy crumbs (cookies) somehow ended up in my milk steamer container in my coffee area. Not only that but my allergens were everywhere in the kichen, it’s cleaned up now so I should be safe. But from now on I have to pre clean any area before making food, just to be sure.
I’m going to try to get back to work on a FIM stuff after filling my cars coolant, brake fluid, parking fluid, and charging the battery in freezing weather. I’ve decided I’m going out tomorrow evening so I can escape the inevitable explosion I know is coming. Otherwise I would work on art all night, but I know my dads patterns too well and can’t risk it. I just hope my mother finds a reason or way to leave the house too. Unfortunately he won’t let her go anywhere with me at all, or I’d fake a vacation trip or something.
My only hope is to get healthy, get stuff sold, and run faster than RD can fly.
I’ll post what I can in the art thread tommorow.
I’m really sorry I couldn’t meet my deadlines due to this.
Glen Gorewood
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Thanks, I’m trying to escape from this as soon as I can.
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That’s why I’m staying in my room right now. It’s the safest place I can be, as for sane I’m trying to stay sane because I’ve been down the rabbit hole before. I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to break again. I can’t break again. If I break again, I likely won’t come back ever again. But he’s trying his hardest to break me, that’s for sure.
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Thank you.
Thank you so much.
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I’m sorry that happened to you, and I’m glad you were not killed in the explosion.
He broke a glass table and destroyed a printer with a punch meant for my face a month or two ago. I’m pretty sure the only reason he hasn’t blown the house up is because it in both him and mom’s name. He has this odd obsession with things only being valuable if they belong to him and him alone.
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If things go well, my secret plan to escape multiple states away will make sure I am safe. I’m trying to survive till then, and trying to get my mom at least started on her escape plan.
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It’s a respected in the community situation.
It would be my word (recent suicide attempt, local eccentric clown, formerly ostracized freak, former multiple attempted runaway person) versus his (successful tradesman, connected guy, seemingly loving father).
My mom has called the cops on him multiple times to no effect. They just add it to his abuse file and move on, no charges are ever brought against him. The only option is disappear far enough away that it’s too much effort for him to go after me or my mom.
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Thank you Solarsquire, and I’m sorry you are in a similar situation. My current plan is separate from my mothers. I think she is trying to find an escape option, but she wants me to go somewhere separately in case he finds her. I’m not sure what she’s going to do because she’s developed a sort of semi split mentality from this, but I know she is doing something. My goal is two months from now I leave, no matter what. I have a pet so a motel isn’t an option, but I have talked to friends who will take me in if things explode before then. I hope you survive your situation as well.
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I’m trying.
Just have to make it two months, and get enough money by the end of January to get a place and pay for the moving truck.
I apologies for the long time between replying to everyone. I explain why in the new blog post. I’ll try to survive till the escape plan happens, and just lay low in my room if possible.
Glen Gorewood
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(eyes widen) Sir, I hope that when you go out, it's to the nearest police station to have him charged with attempted murder. Family or not, this man has crossed the line and needs to be put away for the rest of his natural life.
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You're very welcome.
Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.
The fact the cops do nothing is strange considering how sometimes a mere phone call gets people killed.
Look here:
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/12/after-swatting-death-in-kansas-25-year-old-arrested-in-los-angeles/
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I ended up too sick to leave the house, I hid in my room all day so that’s something. I keep my space allergen free obviously. The fever just went down awhile ago, maybe an hour or so. He’s been reported for worse and gotten away with it. The police in this area won’t do anything (small town), and he’s very good at lying and will claim it’s my fault I got sick. They will believe him.
If it were my own place it would be easier to prove, but with the kitchen being technically shared they would believe his likely claim of it being an accidental contamination.
My best shot is to just leave as soon as possible, and keep all my food and prep items hidden where he can’t find them till then. Or buy allergy free food cups or noodles, a store one town over will get them for me in bulk at discount if I ask.
It seems as long as I stay in this room, he mostly leaves me alone. So I’m trapped up here for now. Which is fine since minus food and a restroom, everything I need to begin my escape plan is up here. Minus a few items of value I won’t be able to get rid of easily or ones in storage, everything I intend to get rid of is up here. Thankfully I already have a venue to list the older things on. With my bills mostly paid up next month, I’ll use the extra money to list stuff and contact a local auction house for other items. If all goes well I’ll be out of here by the end of February, and at worst be at a friends place somewhere out of state with a savings stash and a few pod storage units.
I’m already trying to coordinate with some friends out of state for this, I just have to survive the next two months. Then enjoy many more years of therapy, but at least I’ll be safe.
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There is Arkansas, then there is the upper Midwest.
The situation here is that I’m lucky to be the “town eccentric clown”, it’s an upgrade from “ostracized due to medical thing I was born with and caused me to seem to be dead for hours”. The history of this town isn’t too good with DV or abuse claims, or any abuse really. It’s pretty open knowledge what goes on in this house, and there is a cop stationed on the street for a reason. But unless they catch him in the act, they won’t do anything. That’s what my mom was told, all they can do is keep a file on him open until he does something “big”. It’s a very big file. The department is fairly corrupt, and over the past few years officers have gotten in trouble for multiple offenses. If you take into account that one of the officers was recently jailed for co running a drug house, and another for theft of confiscated drugs and paraphernalia, well the overlooking this makes sense. That’s within less than four to five years, and they aren’t alone. Or to put this in perspective, I’m in the state that gave the world Sheriff Clarke, the current speaker of the house, and is ranked the worst place to be if you are a minority or disabled. I’m also not from here originally, which as far as the locals are concerned, including the police, means I’m of low priority. The few good officers that are here can’t do anything, and my father being someone who has a fair amount of wealth and a very good job means he gets magic small town immunity.
It unfortunately makes sense in context as to why nothing is done. It’s that kind of town.
The only way to be safe is to escape and go far away.
It’s also the only way guaranteed to be safe, and not another report stuffed into a file to collect dust. I’d rather take the route that guarantees safety (escape), than one that has constantly proven to be useless and failed my mother and I over and over again (reporting him).
On the upside living here has been super inspirational for horror stories.
And another upside is if my plan works, I’ll be out of here and safe in two months or less and be able to write those horror stories while not in constant anxiety and fear, and be full NC with my father. This means my art and stories will be back to a regular schedule, since this situation obviously affects that.
Currently I’m focusing on escaping over all else, I’ve been told by multiple people including officers and state workers it’s the only option. They simply can’t do anything else or won’t.
This isn’t mission impossible though, and as irony would have it one of his attempts at sabotaging my life financially (kicking me off the cell plan he has kept everyone else on) means he can’t track my location via cell provider. So if I block him, and use a legal alias, he won’t be able to find me. After I leave I do plan on getting a restraining order, and possibly changing one half of my last name to its original Irish form (legal), then using that for legal documents and housing. Since my father is a complete narcissist and doesn’t know the original form of my mothers last name, he will end up searching for me under the wrong identity. I’ll also be changing my first name, or at least adding a legal alias, and since he has little to no comprehension of who I am as a person he won’t be able to figure out who I am or where I am.
Glen Gorewood