Random Ramblings CCXV

IN WHICH INSOMNIA
I have this annoying habit -- well, I have several, but only one is pertinent to this post. Whenever I know I must wake up early for something -- travel, doctor's appointment, etc. -- I often find it nearly impossible to sleep. As of now, it is about 2am CST and I've been trying to get to sleep for hours. Follow me for late-night insanity.

So, what does a natural night-owl like myself DO when he is in such a predicament? I actually slept a little bit this afternoon. Would have slept the entire afternoon had I not received a phone call that started this whole mess. But I think in the end it will be a good thing, because getting me out of my home early means I have no excuse not to do my Christmas shopping after my appointment. Won't lie -- I'm gonna try and pay for nearly everything with last year's gift cards, because I am that cheap.

In my defense, I got pulled over by a cop Sunday afternoon while helping my mother move (in with me… help). Turns out I had a brake light out, so I got that fixed as soon as I could Monday morning, and I replaced my car's windshield wipers too. That cost a little bit of money, on top of having to replace my battery last month. I think this marks the first time I didn't have a panic attack at the sight of a cop. I can't say for sure if it's because of my medication or because I knew my mother was nearby. Either way, I didn't get nearly arrested for battery and charged disorderly conduct this time (I happen to come from a family of attorneys, including my father, who made the charges go away), and just got off with a warning.

So what am I doing at two in the morning? Well, I finally started that Sunset Shimmer story I've been teasing, in earnest. I've finished writing the prologue. I might write some more after I finish this blogpost. Or I might try to get a couple hours of sleep, I don't know.

I'm sorry I haven't made public a capital offense yet. I've had a lot on my mind to deal with, and I don't deal with adversity well at all. That's a big reason why I'm seeing doctors. Neither the spirit nor flesh are willing to do what needs to be done in the next week to get my ex's stuff out of what will in two weeks be my mother's new bedroom. I'll be too tired tomorrow after shopping, but maybe after a nap or something, I can get my ex's clothes packed up to take to the local charity store (NOT Goodwill; they suck).

She's been about as helpful as a tumor since January. We were together for eight years (intentionally holding off marriage until we could get our respective shit together), then she dumps me, and a couple months later hooks up with a new guy and marries him within ten months. What the fuck. I mean, yeah, he's a way better guy than I'll ever be -- he's nicer, a true gamer, and isn't prone to violent (against inanimate objects or myself) panic attacks -- but seriously, what the actual fuck. Now, even though I was led to believe we parted on good terms, she's basically pretending I don't exist. Dumping all her years of collected crap on me -- including family heirlooms, product, and her cat. I'm a packrat, but this is ridiculous.

It's so overwhelming I've been spending a lot of time sleeping during the day because apparently that's how the medication affects my brain when the panic starts -- the pillz shut it all down and I pass out. This also means I haven't been able to go to the park to do my walks much because I'm asleep. Or the weather sucks. Winter in the Ozarks is a real crapshoot. Traditionally it's one of our rainy seasons (sometimes snow, although far less often now thanks to the global warming our government legally requires us to believe doesn't exist), late spring early summer being the other.

So... yeah. If I meet a girl (that ain't gonna happen again), I get to explain I'm a 30-something year old dude who lives with his mother -- or rather she lives with me -- and can't hold onto a job because of mental issues. The only thing missing to make me the worst possible example of millennial stereotype is if I had a basement, which I don't but I wish I did.

My mother keeps asking how my writing is going. Well, my original writing isn't going at all, because I'm concentrating on fanfiction that doesn't earn me a dime but makes me happy. That's not the "correct" answer. But... I enjoy writing these stories for all y'all. I'm excited to have finally started on my Sunset story. I've been trying to cook up a Mayor Mare story I can post in a month -- I always post a Mayor Mare story each January 20th. Maybe something with her and her secretary? I've kind of been wanting to delve into their love-hate relationship ever since I hinted at it in "Break Time".

At this point, I have enough completed stories ready or almost ready that I could do a bunch of posting in a short period of time without a lot of effort on my part. But now I think I'm finally getting sleepy.

I had hoped that Blog 215 would be Author's Notes for ACO, but I'm not sure that story even deserves such a thing. Until next time.

Peace out!