But wait there's more · 7:48am Dec 15th, 2017
I think I owe everyone a bit more about why I went on hiatus, and pardon me if it's sloppy, I'm on mobile.
Writing is the best, really.
But it's been difficult lately, and I'm constantly overwhelmed by a lot of the things about this community alongside my work.
There's an archetype on this site of a writer who has maybe a single story or so and about 30 upvotes and 100 tracking.
They are some of the most admirable writers there are, and for over 70 stories and almost a million words and four years, I have been stuck as that writer.
It's agonizing. My worst story became my best voted over everything I have written by a landslide. I've tried everything I can to get readers to see what I've made and share the things I've written except selling out. You name it, I've done it.
No one is drawn to my stories... I answer every comment I can get and help link to my other work.
I watch junior/newer writers get their supporters and shorter tickets to success all the time. I feel like I'm less valid as a writer because of essentially being marginalized.
I wish that someone would say 'have you ever heard of Ice Star?' because that's never happened.
Read it laters have become my feature box.
Posting a story used to be purely a thrill and it still is, just not entirely. I used to feel it was like having a birds nest above a road where I would push the fledgling stories off and cheer while they soar. Lately, it's been pushing my best new stories (and still watching my best, longer ones) fall to the road below and plugging my ears so I don't hear the crunch.
I've looked over every bit of my writing to better it, and still do, even if I want to hit my head against my keyboard.
I write for myself, but the lack of readership has been wounding. I love getting any comments at this point but would love even more if I got more from all of you. Who was your favorite character? The best part? A grammar error? Hell, what didn't you like? What if the world building? Do you have a question?
I know my writing is flawed, but so is literally everyone's.
If you like my writing so much and think it should be featured/find it underrated/wish to see it get more attention/anything why didn't you vote? (My stories tend to have such awful ratings that make them look terrible sometimes and I don't know what to say...) how hard is it to click a button? Post a link? Tell a friend? Add it to a group?
I feel like I can't even talk with writers I respect and that I'm always the runt of the litter, so to speak. Or a joke.
I feel like I'm running around on fire and invisible at the same time, and yet I'd rather be standing still.
With every single story.
Even if I write for myself, I keep you, the reader in mind.
Except I have no idea who most of you are or why you're here. Only about 30 of you read what I wrote, and now there's over 400 of you?
Why? Why did you follow me?
I have no idea if anything I write gets read at all, for all I know, my views are because of me editing.
This is the elephant in the room, and of course it was more understandable when I was a less experienced writer and all that, so it was just a baby elephant then.
But now it isn't.
I feel stunted as a writer and it's so frustrating, but I usually just work harder and keep quiet about it. For weeks. For months... you get the idea.
I don't even feel like I can help other people on their stories, partly because of not being viewed as all that much by... well, anyone who sees all my work. How can I be good with improving and aiding other people with their work if mine is considered so lackluster?
I'm always trying to work past this, but the cards are always stacked against me, as far as I can tell.
I don't like to post vent blogs at all, and never try to unless I can come up with a proper justification or feel it's necessary, but this time is different.
I'm trying to type over 70 stories of frustration into here at basically 2 in the morning.
I'm sorry.
I just wish I could hear anything about my stories and that I had any kind of reception- and that the people who liked them would share them so that the people who don't know they will can find them.
Writing is my passion and I'm at the point where whenever I go to a bookstore, and try to see something I might want to read, I want to see my name instead.
It's my eventful dream, yo.
I know that one day o can too. Hard work isn't pointless, and all of you are my first readers.
But every time I toss a story out to you, it's not landing on a bridge, it's falling into a freaking abyss.
And it really hurts... not every story is a winner, and not every paragraph is epic prose and snark, but can't something be?
My highest goal for this site was to have my first arc of stories- the Sombra ones- to have 100 upvotes. Or for one of them too... it's always been something to strive for... and...
I just...
It's been basically four years now.
While I'm always going to be dedicated and persistent- I'm not a quitter, I'm a stubborn piece of shit - I'm absolutely sick of being that writer, the archetypal vastly underrated writer with wholly underestimated work.
Sorry.
Your experiences pretty much echo mine when it comes to writing and posting stories. Nowadays, it seems like it's harder than ever for a story to garner attention on FiMFiction, which is a shame because there are definitely some amazing stories that could use more attention. Sadly, part of what determines whether a story gets lots of readers is luck, which can definitely be frustrating.
Anyway, I'll be sure to read at least two of your stories tomorrow morning and in the afternoon, then post a comment. If you prefer that I check out a specific story of yours, I'll be sure to prioritize it.
I hope things look up for you, and I wish you all the best.
It is a simple truth that most people look and leave, saying nothing, voting in no particular way. I mean... I've got well over a thousand followers, and my latest reached the feature box, and yet it only has 130-odd upvotes, with 31 comments, almost half of which are me replying to people. That's just... how things work. And the site is getting smaller and smaller every day. You can look up the activity stats, it's just an unfortunate fact of how fandoms go. This one has peaked, it's all downhill from here.
If you want me to say more in the way of critique about your work or what you can do I can, but the reason for the numbers that frustrate you is in large part because of factors totally out of your control.
The voiceless majority is pretty much a mainstay of many of the writing sites I've been apart of. It's been a real hit or miss for me when it comes to publishing stories and earning readership, and I fell into the trap where I stick to writing what the people want. Numbers dictate my writing, as much as I'm ashamed to say. I'm at the point now where I want to write something new, but whenever I sit down to do so, I reflect back on my unfinished story that has hundreds of trackers and likes. At first, I thought it was great, but the popularity of one story has brought me nothing but heartache; it's a cancer on my list of stories, and it reminds me that I've let the people control me. To cement this point, I get a bigger kick out of seeing my smaller stories get reception, rather than seeing my likes and dislikes shift on my popular story.
This is the heart and soul of why I admire you. I'm usually quiet in the comments as of recent years, but I will say now that it is truly inspiring to see how you continue to work hard on what you want to write about. I will say this; no matter how small your numerical receptions may be, remind yourself that people are taking notice of what you do. For my own part, I know a couple of users on this site who struggle with your side of the cards; when they write a work of love and dream for it to become a crowd-pleasing hit, it never comes, but the views and the few likes and dislikes they receive do. Fimfiction is like this, and I believe it is one of my least favorite parts of the site, but the reality is that fanfiction is a fickle thing, and from personal opinion, I usually like to click on things I know are in my comfort zone. Your stories are outside of my comfort zone, and I really do quite enjoy them, and others do as well, so I am very glad that I have garnered the opportunity to read your work.
To quote the infamous Sir Hat, who faced the same issue as you do now:
This is the internet. People do what they want here. Many will stick to what they like, or what the mob crowds around. This doesn't particularly mean those stories are high quality—in fact, the best stories can be found in the collections of authors such as yourself. There are so many numerous examples that you can find on a weekly basis, and many stories on the front page will leave you asking, 'why do so many like this story, but not mine?' The answer is in Sir Hat's quote; it's all up to what pleases and pleasures the reader, and if you don't write what the mob wants, then the mob won't flock to your stories. As 4749450 said, these are "factors totally out of your control."
Just—before you were to interpret my words with full meaning—don't take it to heart what the numbers on this site mean statistically, this is just the way Fimfiction is. I think you should interpret the numbers, rather than as markers of how many blaze through your story with or without commentary, as notifications that somewhere out there, someone recognizes that you exist. By clicking that button with the use of a single brain cell, they still have registered that you are out there. I know that's not what we want as people who get low viewership on the things we wrote out passion, but I still get warm tingle when I get a comment on a small, unpopular fic. Even the knowledge that they got past the long description and clicked on the first chapter of the story is a real confidence booster!
I'd like to present you with evidence of the silent majority that plagues the Fimfiction community. Your story, Nopony's Daughter, contains a single comment. I believe that the three upvotes on the comment say it all; the silent readers agree that your work is ducky.
At the end of the day, we have to remember that this is all fanfiction. I share the dream of seeing my books selling on shelves one day, but this is a small community that—again, citing from SPark (thanks bud)—is getting smaller every day. What that means to my current point is that there are less and less new members who will possibly take a look at your work. If you really want to do what you love, I suggest trying your hand at working outside of Fimfiction. I started here because I am comfortable with the worldbuilding of the My Little Pony fandom. You seem to be great at topics the mob doesn't follow, and if the users that have posted in this thread are anything to go by, there will be others out there in the world that will appreciate your writing.
You don't have to be big to see the reactions of others. Go out into your work and take pride in the fact that, yes indeed, people have liked your stories and commented on them. You're doing something right, and there's no need to be a sorry sap.
I will, however, apologize for this long word-slab that probably burns into your eyes!
Cheers,
Geoff.
Edit: I'd also like to extend my comment quickly by stating that I am biased in the fact I am pretty much a small author. I don't know how it feels to be a giant horseword-poster like yourself, as I write mostly when I have the time and energy to do so. You have put in so much effort into breaching a million words that it is illogical in my own mind that you keep going with a fanfiction account. But that's why I follow you.
Great heart will not be denied. I've always admired your persistence and your struggle. You create worlds, and I salute that. I always have. I don't comment a lot.
I understand this feeling. Most of my stories done reach every far and I, too, have been in this site for years. I've found that branching out to other fandoms helps this feeling some. I have other stuff scattered across sites and my best work is probably my SU stuff.
My favorite story on this site that I've written in a while is probably Fairytale Bliss and let me tell you, that has some awful ratings. I'm not checking but I think, stats wise, it's my worst. But I know what I out into it, I know it's some of my best on this site, and I guess. I don't know, knowing that is enough.
I mean, it is a difficult feeling. I moved past it the ways I said above. I'm about to say why I, personally, think maybe you're having a problem with readers. I don't know about anyone else, but I've known your name for ages and I've always been a little intimadated. Your stories seem to all be connected and I've seen your name so much that I had to follow you. I wanted your attention somehow and then somehow you spoke to me and like, I was floating. Don't get me wrong, I know you're just a person and stuff. That's just my experience.
Anyway, I hope you get to feeling more positively about this whole situation and if you can think of anything at all I can do, let me know.
4749443
if only this weren't a club of sadness
if there's a story you want me to read, just send me a PM
i'll get to it when i return in full and leave a comment too
i have no luck because i'm not irish enough
alas
and there's plenty of amazing stories that need some love
maybe i should make a shout out blag
wish you the best too
(as for stories, 'crystalline' is a good place to start)
4749450
it's... certainly frustrating, yes. :(
still, just tossing the 'beyond your control' thing around has never been, well me. i like to try. i like to keep trying and improve. i always vote on stories unless they're the 2 in a 1,000 stories that i'm unable to process an emotion on, but that's not exactly common. i know i've read and voted on most of yours!
4749460
the voiceless majority certainly are jerks. :(
it's flattering that you used a story of mine as an example though, and i don't mind the word slab.
4749668
thank you. usually people are just surprised i write so much, but i don't think i can really stop myself at this point. rather like it that way.
4749861
fairytale bliss was fun and refreshing. and no, i get what you mean, and it's always nice to have a follow. most of my stories are all connected because they take place in the same world and sort of occur in clusters - main arcs, of which there are two, stories about the childhood of celestia and luna, the romance of luna, etc. some stand on their own entirely, but it's like a big conspiracy plot - maybe a little detail or word won't make sense in one scene in one story (many you might not notice) but if you actually wanted to read them all, there'd be complete understanding, because, well... you read them all. crystalline: her destiny is the start of the word knots that i have wrought.
4749992
knowing someone finds my stories interesting is something i can't imagine a writer not wanting to hear.
though, not reading for character is odd, especially since my stories are very character-centric.
4752522
Just out of curiosity I went and looked at your first story on the site. I can say that your attempts to improve have definitely paid off, your current writing is worlds better! But there is still room for improvement.
I may actually turn some of the thoughts I had about your writing into my next On Writing essay, tbh. There's so much that goes into learning how to write!
4752532
oh shit i'm gonna be scrutinized
(uhh, care to PM what you thought to me?)
i'm still very fond of my first story