Author's Commentary: Reaction Chapter 6

I have chocolate milk, a hot pocket, and good music. I think I'm ready to tackle the next chapter in Reaction scheduled for an Author's Commentary! Well, to be honest, I had planned to be writing for another hour and a half, but I wasn't making progress... which may be because of the music. And because I want to work on stories other than the ones I was working on.

Reaction Chapter 6, everybody!

Warning, this Author's Commentary ("Commentary") will contain spoilers for Reaction Chapter 6. If you have not read Chapter 6 in Reaction, I advise you to turn away now and come back later. This Commentary may also contain information which has been said before in prior Commentaries, Author's Notes at the end of chapters, or in comments I have made. Be warned, it could also contain spoilers for Critical Mass and future stories in this series.

You have been warned.

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Maybe it's just me, and it's based off my memory, but the pain Twilight experiences is based on the sort of pain you'd feel if you submerged an injury such as a cut in soapy water. After all, basically, they cut her horn off where it met her skull, so to start with, she didn't have skin or fur over that...

This series really has a lot of shower/bath scenes in it. They're all clean, of course, and I plan to keep it that way. The first time I wrote one of these scenes, I was really nervous about it and felt quite awkward. It was the first time I had written something like that. I also wanted to keep it accurate yet avoid needing to apply a certain tag and or bump the rating...

The crystal floor absorbing the water was more of a momentary decision, but it makes sense in a way. Her castle has some nice properties to it.

Of course, this scene's main point is showing Twilight struggling, and to an extent, being broken. She's struggling with something quite simple for a normal pony.

I'm not sure whether it's obvious in hindsight or not, but when Twilight's musing over her lack of healing in regards to her forehead, she mentions her physiology, which I could not spell so I had to copy it from the chapter, which is foreshadowing her dietary need of eating meat. So thus, metabolism is tied into healing, longevity, their strength, and their magic, but I'm not entirely sure how strong the link is.

Now, Rainbow going to Twilight's doctors appointments. I use plural because she goes to most of them now, even if it's only been a few due to time passing. Twilight's okay with this- she's okay with Rainbow knowing that sort of information about her. However, there's a reference somewhere to needing to see a specialist, which she wouldn't be okay with Rainbow going with her to. I have no idea if most of you have figured this out yet, and it's really agitating. It's hinted at so much, but I keep trying to be vague about it. I know at least one person has figured it out. And who knows, maybe I'm full of myself with this and it's the best worst kept secret in this series that everyone figured out and it was way too obvious. But then I also wonder if it's obvious now that I point this out... It'll get addressed in the future, and it's a major plot point. A very, very major plot point.

Twilight using her hooves to preen herself. It isn't very effective... Also, on a related note, birds have beaks which they use to preen, so how exactly would a pegasus preen itself? Seriously, how would that work? Other than in my story. Like if they were real or something. I don't think it'd be very effective since muzzles are fairly large, but maybe it would be sort of like in my story or in fanfictions in general...

I wonder if it would have been better if I had more foreshadowing for this chapter in regards to the party. It's sort of out of the blue...

Rainbow grimaced and landed. "I thought that..." she shifted her weight on her hooves. "That... staying with you until you fell asleep was helping?"

Twilight bobbed her head and pressed her lips together. "It... helps me fall asleep," she answered evenly. "I'm still waking up and... my stomach is still acting up," she admitted.

Rainbow, just sleep with her already! Everyone wants you to! Or at least everyone who is reading this commentary... We all want the cuddles! And I'm the guy who wrote it! Don't make me force it in, cause I swear I will! And you will like it!

Ah. Yes. This part. The part where there's a reference to Zecora giving Twilight medicine. Except the problem is I'm pretty sure that never canonically happened. You see, it's sort of a funny story. I still have the original chapter 1 for this story, and it was much heavier than the current chapter 1. For example, there were tons of shots/injections given to Twilight, and none of it was working. Zecora showed up and gave her medicine to help her, which worked, if I remember correctly (I haven't read the original chapter 1 in a while, and of course, I didn't finish it). So, basically, this references something that doesn't canonically happen. So what happened? I screwed up and my memory got mixed up and so this happened. I should probably edit this to fix it. I've known about this problem for a while...

Twilight turned to her and smiled wryly at her. "Do you really think I should be going into the Everfree in my... condition?"

Rainbow smirked and chuckled. "Hey, you know I'll keep you safe. You wouldn't have to worry about anything, no hydra or dragon's gonna take me down!" she bragged.

I could say a couple things about this, so I will. One, never get between Rainbow and Twilight, or else you're gonna have a bad time. Want proof? Critical Mass. Two, this seems like a terrible idea. It's just tempting fate. Three, I like something about this that I'm not really sure what it is.

Five ponies and one baby dragon were all sitting around a large crystal table. Most of them were relaxing, despite the large quantity of pink and purple confetti and streamers covering the whole room, table, chairs, and all, even the floor was covered in the delightful paper. It all but looked like it had snowed party materials inside the room, all thanks to one bubbly, pink earth pony. Nopony minded it, though, although they found it strange that she was attempting lying in the confetti and rolling around in it. The silence was broken by light conversation and giggles from the mares and dragon.

The five are the main six minus Twilight and Rainbow plus Starlight. You know, I've not mentioned Trixie in this series. I should include her in the future. Maybe. I'm not sure how she'd interact with Twilight- if I do it like I think she would, she'll be unlikable... I suppose she could be empathetic with Twilight... Also, "delightful paper." I like that wording for some reason. I bet Pinkie will be hosting a couple more major parties in this series' future...

For the strangest reason, whenever I read Fluttershy in this series, I keep wondering if she likes Twilight a little more than just friends. Maybe my rose colored glasses are defective... Besides, she's supposed to hook up with Spoilers in one of the next stories...

Twilight survives getting irradiated with enough neutron radiation to kill a normal pony practically instantly, then almost gets killed by a happy Pinkie Pie. I don't really have anything to say about this (shrug).

"It's for a good cause," Fluttershy mused as she nuzzled Twilight.

Yeah, my glasses are defective, this made my d'aww. Well, I guess that makes sense in a way, it's only of the ships I like. Twidash, Twiluna, Twishy, Twicord, Flutterdash (to an extent), Fluttercord, Rainbowlestia (I should write this ship), Twilestia (to an extent), Tempestlight, and PinkieSky...

"It's your 'congratulations for getting released from the hospital after saving Ponyville from that reactor meltdown' party!" Pinkie exclaimed. Everypony hummed at that. A few seconds later, the group hug broke up. Twilight smiled fondly, happy that her friends were there for her. "Let'sssssssssss party!" Pinkie Pie jumped back and pulled a party cannon from hammerspace, then it erupted and more streamers and confetti joined the ones already present.

Let's see. We have Pinkie Pie being cliched. And we have hammerspace being mentioned. Fillies and gentlecolts! I groan at this.

Twilight suppressed a yawn as she walked through the castle's hallways. Despite being tired, she felt better. A lot better than she had in several weeks. 'That was actually comparable to waking up next to Rainbow...' She glanced at the pegasus walking beside her. She was grinning and relaxed. Twilight smiled and looked back forward. 'I wish I could wake up next to you every day... but... I'm deluding myself. It wouldn't be good for me...' She sighed, the thought stealing more than a little of her joy. 'I want that... but... I know that in my state of mind, it's not good for me...' She smiled once more, remembering that morning. 'If she actually returned my feelings, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing...' She shook her head. 'Or maybe-'

I've probably said it before- Twilight recognizes that it would be bad for her to get too attached to Rainbow if she doesn't return her feelings, OR, and this is perhaps the most important part of this, and a very important part of this story, She recognizes that it would be bad for her to derive herself worth from Rainbow. The backstory to this is sort of implied that she took her self-worth from her magic, so thus it would be moving it onto Rainbow, thus perhaps her getting obsessed and if Rainbow were to reject her, she knows it would devastate her.

If you pay attention in reading Reaction, you may notice that Rainbow kind of makes a big deal about Twilight being a princess, which Twilight's not entirely comfortable with. Enjoy teasing Twilight while you can, Rainbow, cause before you know it she won't be the only one...

Good, more cuddles! I really like cuddles, they're just so adorable. Now, seriosuly, if you haven't figured that out by now, you're a lost cause. Seriously, I'm not kidding. If you don't know that, I don't even... And, on an opposite note, I also enjoy being a tad bit sadistic. What does that say about me? I enjoy cuddles, but I also enjoy a good bit of... violence. Just so long as it's in fanfiction and not visualized.

Oh yeah... I forgot about writing Zecora. Writing the rhymer... right. Not sure how to feel about rereading this. Zecora is difficult to write without skill and thought. Did I write her okay? I honestly have no idea. I didn't cringe as much as I expected, so that's a good thing, but still..

Nevermind, I cringed at her warning. It feels cliched. But, on this note, Zecora knows about alicorns needing to eat meat while most equines don't know that. I wonder what that says. Or maybe Twilight just told Zecora. I've not thought about that before, or if I have, I don't remember.

Twilight not talking much about being an alicorn to her friends..? Conspiracy theory time! The government doesn't want ponies to know the deep dark secrets of alicorns! Although realistically, all things considered, from the standpoint of this series, it makes sense that she would keep that mostly to herself. She doesn't want her friends to look at her differently...

I may have just found another plot hole, or perhaps more accurately, a discontinuity. I would need to recheck to see how long they are supposed to have known each other, then compare my notes on Twilight's age and how long she's been an alicorn... On a related note, Twilight is three years younger than Rainbow, or at least that is what I'm going with in this series.

She slid her hooves under the pillow and laid her head down on it. 'I guess I'm just going to wait for you to wake up, then...' A few minutes passed. She tilted her head towards the sleeping alicorn. "Twilight?" she whispered. The alicorn mumbled something inaudible. Rainbow pulled her hooves out from under the pillow, then put one on Twilight's shoulder and lightly shook her.

>Says she'll wait for Twilight to wake up. <A few minutes passes and she tries to wake Twilight up because she gets bored. Rainbow Dash, everybody! In all seriousness, there's more than a few things in this series like this, and I don't remember what I was thinking.

Rainbow tilted her head away from Twilight. "You're..." she trailed off, going over what she knew about the princesses. "You're a princess. You all have wicked strong magic, you're really strong, and you all have wings like a pegasus... You have really long lifespans, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are like... what, eight thousand years old or something?" she asked lightly.

Twilight giggled. "I've never actually asked them," she admitted.

This is somehow, ever so slightly perfect. of course Twilight would never ask them their age. Speaking of age, I'm not sure exactly how much younger Luna is to Celestia in this story. And on that note, that is kind of important... Another related note is how that factors into their size. And how long alicorns can live for. What do you think in general, how much older is Celestia to Luna? A couple of years? A couple of minutes? A few centuries? More?

Rainbow snorted. "And... Princess Celestia raises the sun, Princess Luna raises the moon, Princess Cadance... is the Princess of Love, you're the Princess of Friendship..." she trailed off in thought. "Oh! And you all have a super cool ability to heal your bodies!"

They all have their rolls... what of Flurry? What of the future princesses? I swear that's not a spoiler because you don't know any context to it, although there is important context to it. Feel free to go ahead and guess about it. Who knows, maybe you'll get it right and maybe I'll tell you that you got it right. I feel a bit like doing that right now. Cadance will also be playing a role in the next story in this series, if it goes as planned...

Magic information is in this chapter, making this chapter important. I shall have to make a note to myself to remember this so I don't contradict my own canon in the future.

Twilight nodded. "Yes... Spike... is the one who fixes it for me, and Starlight... well, she figured it out on her own. Pretty easily, actually..." She paused and pressed her forehead against Rainbow's chest. 'I guess it's not entirely bad that I lost my horn,' she mused. "I... didn't expect you to react... so... indifferently."

Accidental impalement is one of the major complications resulting from romance or cuddles involving unicorns. In extreme cases, ponies have reported getting poked in the eye, as seen below in this example.

Rainbow really cares about Twilight, enough to be around her while she's eating meat. And now we get to this part, a part I've really looked forward to discussing.

First, a note. I really want a steak right now.

Now, I really wanted to include this as something that differentiated alicorns from normal ponies. It was an idea I had that I loved, and it's practically my headcanon at this point, or at the very least, I like this interpretation of alicorns. In my story Alicorn Nature, there's a chapter dedicated to this idea. It's also an idea I've wanted to write pretty badly. Specifically, I still plan to include a scene like this in this series in the future- Twilight eating meat and then kissing Rainbow, and Rainbow freaking out about it. There's also a future alternative to it I'm considering which relates to a specific problem, their solution to it, and that specific need of alicorns. I probably sound crazy right now because of how vague it is, to which I say, "Good." I don't want to spoil it, it's too big of a plot point to spoil.

So, why salmon? Salmon is a fish. It's pretty tame. Especially when considering the alternative was something like beef, pork, or chicken. And cows may be sentient, which would have been somewhat grimdark. So, why fish? Because fish is the least likely to be noticed missing, and probably fairly easily obtained. I'm also pretty sure in the author's notes I commented about the reason for it not being pony meat, which should be pretty obvious. Twilight would not be okay with that, and it's too disturbing, and plus having that conversation wasn't one I was going to write, and I didn't want to have some kind of super cliche with that.

I'm not even halfway done with this chapter right now. I've had a lot to say so far...

"'Night Spike!" Rainbow replied.

For some reason, I think this would make a great name for an OC, and I'm just now realizing this.

More cuddles. I know I've said it before, but I will say it again. Cuddles are great. But it's also depressing because you realize that no matter what, you'll never get to enjoy being in Twilight or Rainbow's position and getting to cuddle with one of the cute ponies...

Princess Luna and Rainbow Dash having a talk in Rainbow's dreams. I really want to develop a special relationship between Rainbow and Luna in this series. I started on that path in Critical Mass. I want to say that I want their relationship to almost be like Twilight and Celestia's relationship, but maybe not quite that.

"There is no need for that, fair Rainbow Dash," Luna said with a smile. Rainbow quickly rose from the bow and rubbed her mane. "Being the bearer for the Element of Loyalty, you are practically royalty yourself, even if only in heart."

Make a note of this. It may seem like an off-hoof comment, but it's important.

Luna shook her head. "No, it is fine. It is her prerogative to share that trait with you if she so chose... It is not exactly public knowledge, however. There are many ponies who know, but... it is not something that we talk about..." she trailed off grimacing.

This is a reference to Stargate SG-1. If you know the reference, please leave a comment. If you don't know the reference, it's in reference to an episode where Samantha Carter is talking to an Asgard, who proceeds to make a comment about them being able to reproduce only through enhanced cellular mitosis (cloning), to which Jack surmises as "No sex?". The Asgard proceeds to say "It's not something we normally discuss with other species."

"Flying at night is pretty cool," Rainbow replied.

Luna nodded in agreement. "Indeed it is."

They have a great dynamic going here!

Rainbow tightened her jaw, then relaxed. "You promise that anything I tell you here will be a secret?" Luna looked at her and nodded seriously. Rainbow's lips pressed together and she bobbed her head. "I'm... sleeping with Twilight right now."

Luna raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I... that is unexpected," she said, still processing it.

Rainbow looked at Luna sideways and grinned wryly. "She says it helps her sleep better..."

Luna slowly nodded. "I... see. And... what about... you?" she asked at length.

Something that should be obvious by now, but just in case it's not, for them, sleeping with someone is taken literally to mean sleeping with them- sleeping in bed with them, not the other possible interpretation. I'm not dealing with that awkwardness. I want to keep this series clean. Sure, maybe it'd sell better if it wasn't, but I want the sense of accomplishment from being successful and clean. Although, with that said, I still feel like I need to address this topic, which I'm dreading. I will have to address it, quite frankly. It's going to be addressed in either the next story or the story after that. One major plot point necessitates it.

Rainbow smiled at that, then frowned. "She's... an alicorn," she said sadly. "She's going to outlive all of her friends, isn't she?"

Luna grimaced and nodded. "That is a likely outcome, yes, although there is a chance that because you five bore the Elements of Harmony with her, you could all have extended lives. There is also a chance that the radiation's effects will kill her before you all pass."

I feel like pointing this out, but I don't really have anything to say about it that wouldn't be potential spoilers.

This next scene is (at least I like to think) one of the best cuddle scenes I've written (or that anyone has written, but I'm not that good). There's quite a bit of detail to it, and I tried to write it in a realistic fashion. The example I'll offer is how Tiwlight's slides her hoof over Rainbow's coat and watches her fur parting. It's that kind of detail that adds to this story, or at least that's my opinion.

I had an idea which I didn't use in this story which involved Prince Blueblood basically looking down at Twilight because of her loosing her horn, regardless of the circumstances around it. Rainbow was going to give him a bloody muzzle, or Twilight would have stopped it. And of course, everypony else would have made Blueblood know he was quite unwelcome. That's a pretty sharp contrast to Ponyville's inhabitants.

And the initial thought of a vacation of sorts, going to Canterlot. I need to reword the sentence talking about the travel to Canterlot. It's supposed to be an overnight trip, so maybe a two day trip there and back, of sorts, not two days there and back... I have no idea how I messed that up, but I do know I've known about that problem for a while, and still haven't fixed it.

Blueberry muffins are nice.

Pinkie's skills are terrifying at times.

Oh Applebloom, you're precious. I think I've said it before, but I had wanted to include a scene with the foals putting on a parade or doing something in honor of Twilight saving the town. It's still an option for the future, though, but I really didn't want to mess with trying to write that. But it would be touching for Twilight. But yeah, there will probably be a statue of Twilight put up sometime, in all her alicorn glory.

A little tidbit of Earth Pony magic, I guess. Applejack, according to Twilight, can tell the tree which apples to drop. Or perhaps her understanding is flawed. She hasn't exactly used much/any Earth Pony Magic...

I like the ending scene with a bit of competition between Rainbow and Applejack, and the three of them hanging out. Of course Applejack showing off her Earth Poniness is also fun, especially with Rainbow's... reaction. Accidental pun.

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Finished! I don't feel quite so tired as yesterday. I imagine this comes as a surprise, two commentaries in two days? What is this madness!? Well, it was either this, write, read, or play games, and while gaming might have been fun, it would have wasted time. While reading would have been nice, I'm kind of dreading starting on what I am going to read. And for writing? Well, I think I said that at the start of this post.

And for a note, I was typing away at the part with the mention of Stargate SG-1 when the power went out. I was terrified that I lost this blog post- it had been almost 2 hours worth of stuff in it, and so I was going to be so demotivated that if I had lost it, I'm not sure I would have ever done this commentary. It would have ruined my week. Fortunately, I was able to restore it.

So all in all, this blog post is about an hour late and took nearly 3 hours to write. I still enjoy these. If it wasn't for losing power, this would have been out a while ago and I probably would be working on Chapter 7 right now. But I'm going to procrastinate on that commentary for a little bit.

As per usual, comment below. Ask questions, offer suggestions, feedback, commentaries of your own, or share your thoughts and or analysis! Should I start including more links and such in these commentaries?