Author's Commentary: Reaction Chapter 5 · 8:04pm Dec 12th, 2017
So, I vaguely remember that I started doing this series, then suddenly and inexplicably stopped. Well, I had actually started on this commentary before a week or so after the last one, but then I just couldn't get myself to work on it. And the reason for that was mostly because of how Chapter 5 started...
Author's Commentary for Reaction Chapter 5, everybody!
Warning, this Author's Commentary ("Commentary") will contain spoilers for Reaction Chapter 5. If you have not read Chapter 5 in Reaction, I advise you to turn away now and come back later. This Commentary may also contain information which has been said before in prior Commentaries, Author's Notes at the end of chapters, or in comments I have made. Be warned, it could also contain spoilers for Critical Mass and future stories in this series.
You have been warned.
The opening of Chapter 5 is supposed to be cute and heartwarming. At the time, I felt like I did it well. It opens up with Rainbow cuddling with Twilight, so what's not to like (non-Twidashers notwithstanding). Cuddles are great, and this scene has that, so this scene could be great. But for some reason, when I went to reread the opening paragraphs (or maybe just paragraph), it was agitating me for some reason, and I think it's because of the addition of Rainbow actually knowing what had happened, rather than being confused. Strange, isn't it? At least I find it strange. Having her be confused about what happened, then remembering it would probably be more cliched, at least in my mind, yet I feel like that may have been better. Perhaps I am just too self-critical...
Or maybe I'm overthinking it and I just didn't let myself enjoy it. It is pretty sweet, in the cute sense.
And Rainbow admitting that it's nice to cuddle/sleep with Twilight! At least in her mind... we're making progress, guys! Let's see, what would a normal shipper say? 'The ship has left the port' or something like that?
Once again, I reaffirm that it's the small details which add a lot to this series.
Rainbow contemplated pulling Twilight up on her more but decided against it. After a few seconds, she wrapped her arms around Twilight again and briefly squeezed her, then folded her wings back to her sides and looked over Twilight's back. She was by no means a large pony, but she wasn't a small one either. Despite her being an alicorn, Twilight was barely any bigger than Rainbow, and Rainbow found herself wondering how long that would last, or if she would always be a small alicorn.
With any luck and a lot of planning and plot ideas, I will be able to write this series out to the point where Twilight's as big as Celestia. I'd like to do that and experiment with that. I really like this idea, since having an entire series' worth of context behind it seems like it could be a very powerful story, especially if writing the scenes somewhat simply, which is to say relying on the context of prior stories to provide impact. After all, context is very powerful. And, in the future, even the slightest of mentions to past events could spur memories of reading those stories in the minds of readers and evoke a powerful response. I'd very much like to do that- to write out this series and have strong context which, in the end, evokes a strong emotional response. And of course, who doesn't want to read about Twilight being as big as Celestia and cuddling Rainbow in bed?
I may have said this before, but if I did, I don't remember, so if I did, I apologize for repetition. But, there is something to be said in this series about choosing and making decisions. Twilight chose to go into the reactor core to save Ponyville, Rainbow chose to help Twilight, she chose to sleep with Twilight, and chose to stay with her. Their choices aren't, at least in Rainbow's case, directed from a crush of infatuation, she is actively making a choice, and there's something beautiful about that. It's something that might be worth keeping in mind as you read this series and or reread it.
However, as I continue to reread this story, I can't help but scream in my mind "You violated show not tell again! And again! You ruined it all with that additional sentence explaining such and such!" And that kind of sucks. What else sucks is I don't know what else to do about it. I'm really criticizing myself too much here, aren't I?
And now we have a brief mention/foreshadowing of Twilight's lack of preening in the mention of her feathers being coarse rather than soft. Preening may be enjoyable and nice for them, but it's not like preening in some other stories where the pleasure is... well, if you know, then I don't have to say it. If you don't know, then I'm not going to be the one to tell you, and I will advise you to not look.
That moment when you find a missing quotation mark and start panicking before you fix it.
Spike's okay with Rainbow. I need to reread these stories to see what kind of relationship (if any) I've developed between Rainbow and Spike. I really don't remember, but I do look forward to maybe developing their relationship going forward.
Twilight pushed the door to her room open and walked in, then made her way over to her bed. Rainbow stood at the door for a few seconds, watching as Twilight got on the bed and then laid down on her stomach. She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, then walked over to Twilight's bed and sat down on her haunches beside it. "I can ask Spitfire for some time off or something if you want, you know... I'm sure she'd understand if I told her that I'm helping you... get better," Rainbow commented.
Spitfire also ships Twidash. Well, not really, but she's pretty nonchalant/cool/okay with them being together. Although now that I say that, I don't remember if Spitfire ever actually found out about them being together in that sort of sense...
"It's not like I'd be quitting or anything," Rainbow said. "I'd just be taking some time off until you get better," she added.
Wait, let me fix that. "It's not like I'd be quitting or anything yet." I think that I may have planned for Rainbow to quit the Wonderbolts even this far back, but I'm not sure. I know that at some point in writing Reaction, I became convinced to have her quit them to be with Twilight, but I wasn't entirely sure how. But, as it worked out, I saved it for Critical Mass, and I enjoyed Critical Mass and how everything worked out...
Twilight sighed, then buried her muzzle in the wrinkled bedsheets. "You're assuming I'll get better," she mumbled into the covers. Despite her voice being muffled, Rainbow heard her and grimaced. Twilight pulled her head back and then laid it down so that she could look at the rainbow-maned pegasus. "If my horn does grow back, it'll be a long time before that happens, Rainbow," she said at length.
I'm still indecisive about this. Also, I guess horns don't grow back if the movie is anything to go by. Although Sombra's horn regrew. And, let's not forget that Twilight's an alicorn, not a unicorn.
You know, there's a bit of a double standard or just... I'm not sure what to call it. Exercise is good and makes your body more fit, but in this series, alicorns are naturally stronger and more fit. How exactly does that make sense and work? Basically, this question is one I ask in regards to Rainbow being so athletic and Twilight being a bookworm, but still being "healthy" aside from what's happened which has left her in rough shape...
...You know there's more than a few plot holes in this story. They're really minor. For example, Twilight thought she'd take a nap, then tells Rainbow she didn't mean to fall asleep. Or, maybe I'm being too critical and she's just embarrassed and or lying... And then she says she'll take the couch, but takes the bed instead. I'm not sure what's going on here... I feel like I've made a few slight oversights.
But hey, let's ignore that and focus on Twilight freaking out about Rainbow offering to take a week off to spend with her. Twilight in this series is somewhat... I can't think of the word. But she's really opposed to hurting Rainbow or imposing on her, or even Rainbow making sacrifices for her, such as taking a week or even a day away from her dream to spend with her. In short, she sort of doesn't think she's worth it. She really wants to be with Rainbow, of course, and she's touched by Rainbow doing that, but at the same time she's condemned since it's imposing on Rainbow's time and dream.
"Don't worry about it, and don't mention it," Rainbow replied. Twilight pulled away from her and smiled lightly. "Really. Don't mention it. I don't want anypony thinking I'm weak," she said with a lighthearted smile.
[Author laughter intensifies.]
Not going to lie, I'm not all that familiar with Wonderbolts. So, is Misty a Wonderbolt? I have no idea. It's somewhat fitting..? I think? Wait, I'm the author. Let me fix this. Misty is a Wonderbolt. There!
Misty smiled and elbowed Soarin. "See? Even she knows to go and acknowledge the problem, rather than avoiding the issue and waiting for the problem to find you," she chuckled.
Soarin smiled nervously. "R-right... Uh, I think Spitfire's in her office, at least she was when I last saw her." He glanced at Misty, who smiled maliciously at him. He chuckled nervously and looked back at Rainbow. "Uh... gotta go, sorry!" he said before flapping his wings and taking flight.
"Good luck, Crash," Misty said with a wave of her hoof as she flew off after Soarin.
I want to hear all of your thoughts on what's going on here.
I don't really have much to say about the scene with Rainbow talking to Spitfire. Although, it's kind of in her best interest to have Rainbow help and protect Twilight, since Twilight is a princess. Also, I can't help but think of "spooks" with Spitfire because of her paranoia about it being a prelude to an invasion.
I think it's kind of cute for Rainbow to have covered Twilight up with a blanket as she slept on her bed. I don't know, it's just one of those small things that can mean a lot.
I'm not a big fan of writing Rarity. I don't really know what to do with her. I mean, I can write her, but I just feel out of place, since she's perhaps the most feminine of the main six. Although granted, I don't have much experience with writing her. Or Pinkie. Or Fluttershy. Or Applejack. I think I kind of write Applejack okay. I feel like I do a pretty good job with Pinkie, but that's definitely up for debate. I may do okay with Fluttershy?
So, what do you think will happen when Twilight's horn finally grows back? What do you think her reaction will be? Personally, I'm picturing her jumping around for joy and shooting off spell after spell. Of course, there's also the alternative where she tries to use her magic and succeeds, but she needs to relearn/readjust to it because of something...
And the topic of Twilight feeling that her friends and herself are drifting apart is brought up again. This topic might play a critical role in future stories in this series... Also, there's context to be mentioned here about Rainbow being the busiest of all of them...
Rainbow carrying Twilight on her back when she flies. It's a cute thought, and quite frankly, it's probably done a lot in the pre alicorn Twidash stories. Although with that said, I don't feel adequate to make that judgement. But hey, it's cute. And it'll probably happen more often...
Ah, yes, I forgot about this. The part where Spike fixes them a nice dinner. The more I read this series the more I realize there's a lot of eating in this series. Speaking of eating, I'm hungry. But I'll pass on what they're having. With the possible exception of the pasta.
Pasta is good.
Twilight says "It's nothing" and "It doesn't matter" a ton in this series.
It's probably a really good thing that Rainbow is there for Twilight. I don't think I'd want to read or write the AU of this series where Rainbow didn't try to help Twilight. Twilight would be in an even worse, darker spot than she is.
I think that the time Twilight waits for Rainbow to return with the book is a bit too long, considering Rainbow's speed and such. Either that or her castle is a lot bigger, or Rainbow got lost...
Rainbow carrying Twilight to bed. There's a picture somewhere of Twilight carrying a sleeping (or perhaps drunk) Rainbow on her back...
'How are you going to get better?' The question was distracting. 'Are you going to be stuck like this forever?' Rainbow clenched her jaw at that thought. It was unthinkable, Twilight never being able to use her magic again. 'Your magic is a part of you, and you can't use it...' Rainbow felt cold. 'How are you handling this so well?' She had seen Twilight's problems, but how Twilight managed not to break down eluded her. 'You're brave, you know that? I don't think I could handle losing my wings...'
I feel a need to emphasize this for some reason, but I'm not entirely sure why. Part of it may relate to what happens in Critical Mass...
Finished! I'm tired now. I spent like 100 minutes on this. Which, when you consider (assuming this is the average) then that means that I've now spent 500 minutes on Author's commentary in Reaction alone, and I have over a thousand minutes left to work on it. That's kind of intimidating.
I really hope you enjoy this commentary. Feedback? Comments? Suggestions? Questions I didn't answer that you want to ask? Feel free to ask.
I really enjoy getting comments on my stories, and I got a lot of comments on Reaction. Just browsing the comments for Chapter 5 was nice, even if there weren't all that many. I don't know when I'll get the next commentary out. I have plans for a lot of other stuff to take care of right now...
I think I'm just going to have to sit down and start on the sequel to Critical Mass at this point. There are so many options I have, along with ideas, but the vast majority of the ideas I've had require quite a bit of time having passed, since it's so early in their relationship and so soon after Twilight's been so badly hurt.
Will twilight have 'time of the month' like in your story 'alicorn nature' that was hilarious
. Obviously though it probably won't fit in, but it's fun to imagine.
Also I do love it when I'm reading a long story or series (or maybe watching depending on the medium of entertainment) and something is referenced from near the start, I'm like "I remember that, that's brilliant!!!!".
As for her horn growing back, maybe you could say when her horn is still short she can't channel as much magic, and it's much harder to control. This could be why fillies and colts (is there a way to refer to both without saying 'foal' since foal means baby iirc, not child) have such difficulty using magic, their horn is shorter so they can't channel as much and have less control.
As for any difficulty, I'm not sure. It honestly depends on how you think magic acts like. I'm personally think it's more like learning to ride a bike. Once you learn you never forget. I mean there have been times were I didn't ride a bike or swim for months/years, and yet when I did them I had no trouble.
Or maybe you may think magic is more like an instrument, you need to keep practising to keep your skills sharp. Actually the more I think about it the more magic is like this since it's not a broad general action, but a very precise action. It's odd how when you think about something for two minutes you suddenly realise something you never did before, and your opinion starts to change.
As for twilight being strong whilst not doing much (if any) exercise probably is due to her alicorn nature. I mean her horn will grow back, so maybe they have some regenerative abilities. As an example maybe alicorns can generate muscle mass without exercise. I mean she'll never be as strong as applejack if she doesn't do exercise, but as long as she eats well (maybe meat is important for this?) they'll never go below a certain point, which is how she can maintain her strength.
Anyway, I always do enjoy these commentaries, helps me understand the story's development better, and I can see the person behinds the story, which is always nice.
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In short, Twilight's not gonna have something like that. She's not that affectionate, but she'd be happy to cuddle with Rainbow all day long. She's more reserved than in that story.
Foal can refer to older fillies and colts to, I believe. The CMC are still foals, or at least I'd consider them to be and or have heard them called such.
What I meant with her having difficulties wasn't so much as control as her magic being much more potent than before due to the stress which was put on her body, thus forcing her to overcome and adapt. So thus, her difficulty would be trying to levitate something and that object shooting off into orbit never to be seen again. Perhaps not quite to that extent, but you get the idea. She would have to readjust to hew new, much higher magic levels. Also, it's never outright been stated, but it has been implied and canonically is, that Twilight's magic is much more potent right now than it was before she lost her horn.
You have a great point about alicorn regeneration factoring into their strength. I hadn't considered that before, but it makes sense considering how you grow muscles... Her specific dietary requirements may play a role in it...
I'm glad you're enjoying these commentaries. That means at least one person is liking them, so I'm not wasting my time on something completely useless...
Thanks for the comment!