Archetypal Stories

So Cold in Gardez and I were joking around last night, and I tried to write a "typical" CiG story.

When thousands of changelings descend upon Ponyville, Twilight is ready for a fight! But it turns out they're just part of her fan club. Now, Twilight has to deal with countless knockoffs of herself, while her friends are busy trying to push a bill through parliament. It's up to her and Spike to win the big snowboarding contest and save the library from getting demolished, and on the way, everypony learns an emotionally heartwarming lesson about coping with death.

Then, Ether Echoes challenged me to apply the same treatment to myself, so I wrote a typical GaPJaxie story:

Original Character is a sweet young mare living in a fantastic magical world that the story will never explain. Watch her struggle to make friends, cope with drug addiction, and learn all about economics in this fantasy period piece set in the 1980's. In the end, she realizes that she never actually needed the Elements of Harmony, and learns a valuable lesson about original sin and how she hates herself because she can feel the darkness inside her own heart.

And finally, a typical Ether Echoes story for good measure:

Veiled Allegory is a filly without hope, beaten down by the social demands of the fashion police as well as their fabulous batons. But when she discovers a magical portal to a fantasy minimalist clothing outlet, she realizes her true destiny as a trenchcoat wearing noir detective. Come for the gunplay and stay for the intrigue as this story guides you through a twisted underworld of talking cats and classical Gaelic folklore, ending with a revelation about the true nature of reality that results in everyone being alicorns for reasons that feel so emotionally rewarding you'll never realize they aren't adequately explained.

I think I really captured our personalities. Like. It's pretty spot on.

I kind of like this format. Anybody have another author they want to take a swing at?

EDIT, added WandererD:

Get ready for dimension-hops and riding crops, because Sweetie Belle is back in her best adventure yet! After sneezing with her eyes open, Sweetie Belle is hurled through space and time into an alternate universe where Equestria is Hawaii, and where Scootaloo is history's greatest monster! Sweetie must do battle with Scootaloo's cyborg chicken army with the help of two mysterious mares. But when it turns out that those mares are changelings, and Sweetie's long lost family from her home dimension, everypony gets really philosophical and decides to crack crude jokes about Sunset Shimmer's amazing ass until they stop feeling sad.

Short Skirts and Explosions:

Get ready to snort feels like they were cocaine, because SS&E is back with another action-packed exploration of pony chest fuzz. After Rarity get a temp job as XO of the Battlestar Galactica, she's forced to struggle with alcoholism and how gosh-darn cute Rainbow Dash's flanks are. Watch Adama, the Wondercolts, and the entire cast of named secondary characters from Dante's The Divine Comedy compete against Sunset Shimmer's zombie army in a dance off. Can Rarity save the day with the power of cute pony smoochin', or will the story end on a four chapter long crushing reflection on the inevitable tragedy of death?

Estee:

When Twilight's favorite takeout place won't give her enough garlic knots, there's only one solution: turn Fluttershy into TWQ-1 Avenger. But when traditionalists say that pegasi can't also be light anti-aircraft missile launchers, Twilight is forced to confront the racism inherent in the Equestrian jury selection process.

Comments

[Grungar3x7]

Admiral Biscuit.
FanOfMostEverything.
Tatsurou.

Please...

[FanOfMostEverything]

Hang on, is the idea here to request ones for you to do or to participate ourselves?

[Masterweaver]

You know I was just going to post a GIF of Pinkie Pie saying "Do Me!" from Canterlot Wedding, but apparently there's not actually one that just says "Do Me!" in reference to the original joke. Just a bunch of remixes.

[djthomp]

Veiled Allegory is a filly without hope, beaten down by the social demands of the fashion police as well as their fabulous batons.

The beatings are simultaneously metaphorical and literal, that's pretty good.

[GaPJaxie]

4741703

I mean I'd be cool with either.

[Ether Echoes]

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Everyone doesn't become an alicorn in Pirene - everyone has the potential to become one, and over centuries or millennia there will only be alicorns left. The reasons are fully explained - at thecreation of the universe, everyone possessed a divine nature. Indeed the term "god" wouldn't have existed because it was the standard. The actions of these people led to a steady decline in divinity, which led to the birth of mortals, which led to the spiritual dark ages that preceded the story, which takes place at the outset of a new Age with the possibility to return to the days before, with lessons learned.

[Rao the Red Sun]

Do Monochromatic!

[GaPJaxie]

4741703
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4741762

Wanderer D:

Get ready for dimension-hops and riding crops, because Sweetie Belle is back in her best adventure yet! After sneezing with her eyes open, Sweetie Belle is hurled through space and time into an alternate universe where Equestria is Hawaii, and where Scootaloo is history's greatest monster! Sweetie must do battle with Scootaloo's cyborg chicken army with the help of two mysterious mares. But when it turns out that those mares are changelings, and Sweetie's long lost family from her home dimension, everypony gets really philosophical and decides to crack crude jokes about Sunset Shimmer's amazing ass until they stop feeling sad.

[ZanyZapper]

ShortSkirtsAndExplosions
SuperTrampoline

[Georg]

Me! Me! Me!

[Matthewl419]

So what would happen if I said:
iisaw
Loganberry
Paul Arasan

[GaPJaxie]

4741783
4741786
4741783

Short Skirts and Explosions:

Get ready to snort feels like they were cocaine, because SS&E is back with another action-packed exploration of pony chest fuzz. After Rarity get a temp job as XO of the Battlestar Galactica, she's forced to struggle with alcoholism and how gosh-darn cute Rainbow Dash's flanks are. Watch Adama, the Wondercolts, and the entire cast of named secondary characters from Dante's The Divine Comedy compete against Sunset Shimmer's zombie army in a dance off. Can Rarity save the day with the power of cute pony smoochin', or will the story end on a four chapter long crushing reflection on the inevitable tragedy of death?

[aDoof2]

 the Wondercolts, and the entire cast of named secondary characters from Dante's The Divine Comedy

This team up is doomed to tear itself apart to see who has more angst. Thirteenth-century politicians, or teenagers in high school.

[Lamplighter]

Oh my god. This may be the best thing I think I have ever read. Cold in Gardez, Ether Echoes, GaPJaxie, WandererD AND Short Skirts and Explosions! A time warp be happening because it's twenty days too soon, but by god if it isn't Christmas baby!

Edit: Do Pen Stroke

[The Hat Man]

Imploding Colon:

Rainbow Dash goes to the store. Seven million words later, she’s got the bread and eggs, and now she’s going to look for milk.

[FanOfMostEverything]

4741688
FanOfMostEverything

Four Lyras, seven Ditzy Doos, twelve Pinkie Pies, and more Discords than you can shake a stick at must band together to protect all of probability space from the combined menace of every antagonist you've forgotten about, who've combined forces to unleash multiversal devastation the likes of which have never been seen! (You know, because the multiverse is still here.) As the Divine Bacon Horse Sunset Shimmer looks on in befuddlement—when not distracted by her hot nerd waifu—will the fourth wall survive?

(Also, eighty percent of the text is actually repurposed Magic: the Gathering flavor text, but no one but I will notice.)

4741784
Georg

Blood, sweat, tears, and magic are shed in varying ratios as bat ponies and griffons battle to determine who will help refugee seaponies find love. Meanwhile, the diarchs pull the puppet strings for the greater good while working out which one of them gets Big Mac on Sundays. And to think, it all started when the Mane Six dragged their significant others to Trixie's new Cajun restaurant...

[PiMan]

I think I need to see all of these authors make their own interpretations of the other authors (and themselves).

[onomiyaki]

Could someone do Estee?

[howard035]

To every single one you need to add:
...Rated PG-13.

[PresentPerfect]

Get ready to snort feels like they were cocaine

This makes the whole thing worthwhile, but these are all amazing. XD

[Bass Concerto]

Estee? Please?
...No?
I guess no one wants to subject themselves to that xD

[GaPJaxie]

4741931
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4741860

Fine fine.

Estee:

When Twilight's favorite takeout place won't give her enough garlic knots, there's only one solution: turn Fluttershy into TWQ-1 Avenger. But when traditionalists say that pegasi can't also be light anti-aircraft missile launchers, Twilight is forced to confront the racism inherent in the Equestrian jury selection process.

[Bass Concerto]

4741943
Fantastic!

Truly, you have captured the spirit of my favorite Fimfic author. Well done, good sir! xD

[particle_pony]

Literary Giants:
Bad Horse
Ghost of Heraclitus
Skywriter

Cloppers:
Chuckfinley
Ambion

Ye Olde Righters:
Device Heretic / Biologic Orthodoxy
AbsoluteAnonymous
RobCakeran
kkat (Fo:E)

[carmastrikes]

Oooh I have one:

Mythril Moth

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

[Dracon_Pyrothayan]

4741943

Close.

For Estee, you really need about 10x as many words as necessary for proper pacing.

[Pun System]

Not sure if you've still doing these (I should probably check my feed more often), but has anyone done Starscribe yet?

[Hap]

4741803
...I would read that story.