Random Ramblings CCXI

IN WHICH I APOLOGIZE TO YOU
Aside from a few blogposts (including this question), I regret that November has gone by with no new story content from me. That doesn't mean I sat on my butt the whole time -- actually it does, but that's also my writing position. Anywho, I'll explain past the jump.

For the record, I have five stories in the queue completed but unpublished, one in progress, and one outlined but not written. The problem is that last one, because it's my next Sunset Shimmer story. It's meant to serve as a psychological and narrative bridge between Rarity Reveals…, which feels like it was published forever ago, and The Rejected, Recovery Arc's penultimate story that I finished back in July along with the conclusion story. This new Sunset story in my brain doesn't technically need to exist, but I want it to exist.

Yep, even at the end, the Recovery Arc is still written WAY out of order. This is what happens when a series basically creates itself on whims and suggestions. It's a good thing I made THE GUIDE and each story is meant to stand alone just in case, or my readers would be even more confused than I've already made them.

Anyway, I regret to inform you that December is going to be hell for my psychological well-being, as I attempt to remove the last quite-a-bit of my ex's things from my home in preparation for a new housemate. This would be far simpler if I could contact her, but she's not interested in acknowledging my existence right now. One of my only IRL friends who used to live with us insists she's scared and trying to run away from her deeper issues that I tried but failed to help her address -- case of the blind leading the blind there, I know, but at least I admit I'm a mental case and have stopped running away from at least some of my problems.

Oh, and the new tenant is my mother, who is a neat freak very much looking forward to deep-cleaning my home.

Come the beginning of the year, I will become - even more than I already am - the very stereotype Republicans say about people of my generation: A jobless parasite in his 30's who lives in his mother's basement (technically she'll be living in my home and I don't have a basement, but since when do "conservatives" care about details?). The only point I have in their favour is that I'm White. If I wasn't, I'd be literally dead now, no doubt shot by the cops during a panic attack at a traffic stop 3 years ago.

And I feel guilty about that. Knowing that my skin colour almost certainly saved my life. I often think "I don't deserve this." By 'this', I mean any good fortune.

At least one reader has called my Recovery Arc stories "self-inserty", i.e. that I'm basically inserting myself into Sunset. That's certainly true to an extent, but I still try my best to keep to what I feel are her core character traits as I see them. I identify strongly with Sunset, but she is not me, and sometimes I need to remind myself of that. As writers, we inevitably inject our own feelings of the moment into the stories we create and the characters we write, whether they're our characters or not. I've never once felt that Sunset has been "out of character" (some disagree re: H&L, but I think I've added onto that enough that her behaviour there is justifiable -- it's a big reason I wrote Sasha).

I lost the thread of the conversation long ago. What's the TL;DR? Oh right.

Don't expect much from me this month because I have to deal with a lot of logistical IRL shit. My only concrete story deadline is that I will, hell or high water, publish a Mayor Mare fic on January 20th, just like I always do. Beyond that, it's all up in the air. I'll try to write when I have the time and the drive. Thank you for your support that I still don't feel I quite deserve but am always happy to receive. And, as always:

Peace out!