How to make instant noodles

Step 1: gather noodles
Step 2: gather water
Step 3: put noodles in bowl
Step 5: skip step 4, it's not important
Step 6: put bowl in microwave
Step 7: set time on microwave and press cook
Step 8: go into other room to do laundry and trip over cat toy
Step 9: spend duration of cook time looking for bandaid
Step 10: go back into kitchen and notice burning smell
Step 11: notice cup of water on counter
Step 12: remove burnt noodles from microwave and feed them to pet trashcan
Step 13: roll on floor crying to sleep yourself
Step 15: wake up and notice you forgot step 14
Step 16: look for phone to order pizzer
Step 17: wait for pizzer
Step 18: still waiting
Step 19: omg the waiting
Step 20: answer doorbell
Step 21: greet pizza guy
Step 22: realize you forgot your wallet in other pants
Step 23: rush to find pants
Step 24: realize it's laundry day and looks through basket
Step 25: finds pants but no wallet
Step 26: look up to see wallet next to computer
Step 27: get cash from wallet
Step 28: go back to pizzer guy
Step 29: listen to him say you're a dollar short
Step 30: go to savage for change
Step 32: search for long enough to overlook step 31
Step 33: hand pizzer guy 98 cents in change, a ball of lent, and a bottle cap
Step 34: hear pizzer guy say its good enough
Step 35: take pizzer and place it on counter and open it
Step 36: look for plate
Step 37: can't find plate
Step 38: quickly do dishes to get clean plate
Step 39: take bite of pizzer and realize it's gone cold
Step 40: go to microwave to heat pizzer
Step 41: wonder why microwave is black and smells funny
Step 42: remember the incident with the noodles earlier
Step 43: trigger PTSD
Step 44: cry to sleep yourself again
Step 45: oh the inhumanity
Step 46: you were so young
Step 47: when will the madness end
Step 48: shrug it off and take bite of pizzer
Step 49: realize your phone was dead before
Step 50: question your sanity

That's about how it normally goes for me anyway.