On the long road home. · 3:04am Oct 29th, 2017
I shall be back in Phoenix on the 1st, but funny enough, I estimate I'll get less work done being at home than I have on the hunt. While in the blind, I had a lot of time, hours on end, of nothing but solace. The leaves clashing, the grass waving, the songs of birds, cries of falcons, and chirps of squirrels mixed into a blend more calming than anything one could experience. I had a lot of time just sitting still, and I spent most of it writing. I elected to go with the story 'Life In Boxes' rather than the My Only Sunshine prequel, as I had far more motivation for it, and thus far I'm 3000 words in. I don't know when I'll end up publishing it, so don't expect an ETA any time soon, but anyway, that's something cool.
The hunt was eventful. I got 2 turkeys and 2 deer, oddly enough. I didn't know this going in, but my grandfather also had 2 deer tags, and I was the one to fill them both. Neato, I suppose. I've begun to have somewhat mixed feelings about this whole thing, if I were to be honest. The hunt itself is funner than hell, the thrill of seeing the animal come in, and such, but this was the first time I had ever sat through the whole process of gutting and skinning the deer. It really, really fucked with me. Something deep down inside flipped around and said that what I was watching was horrible. I know full and well these creatures suffer far worse deaths at the hands things like coyotes, which does give some comfort, but not much. It was the knowing that I had brought this upon them. I could have not cut their lives so short, but I did. That was what really hurt for me.
Maybe this feeling will go away, or maybe I'll be used to it, but for now, I don't know if I could do it again. It hadn't been that way for a long time. I've taken an elk, maybe 7 phesants, (kinda big birds, if you don't know) and two turkeys up until now, and I've never felt this way before now. I suppose it was seeing them be gutted, as before then, I hadn't done it myself or witnessed it in detail. I dunno. It's been an emotional night, and I needed to let off some of that steam. I doubt anyone'll get this far down reading all this, but whatev. Can't hold these things in, right?
Anyway... Progress is good, and I'll be home soon. Thank you all for reading, not just this, but all my other works, as well.
I read that far down. And, honestly, I could chop up and dispose of a human body and feel less trauma than gutting an animal. Well, maybe not the chopping up, but scattering pieces sure.
4711034
I... Think the same applies for me. Dunno yet. It was the fact these two deer were so young, two years tops, that really messed with me.
Anyway, thank you for reading so far!
That's a rather touching insight, actually.
4711301
Well, I'm happy I could convey my feelings well enough! I figure the writing talent helps in that regard. Hunting is an odd sport, one not for the faint of heart, but I do believe my issue with this incident was their youth. If I had taken a big doe and a proper buck, I doubt i'd feel this way.
4711836
Are there any rules against harming young deer, like fawn?
4711851
Yes. You cant kill fawn. What i killed were 'yearlings' as in they were 1-2 years old.
4711877
Isn't their lifespan rather short compared to similar animals?
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I... Honestly don't know. I assume their max lifespan is like 20, and that's if they're like, in a house